The Journey Of My Mind

It’s not a straight road

[ashleydesiree]

I dream of a world where I never met you

[ashleydesiree]

I took me a long time but I applied to a job today!

[ashleydesiree]

There are some things that you’ve gone through and you say, “Why me?” It’s because it’s the only thing that would make you move

[ashleydesiree]

Afirm yourself !

[ashleydesiree]

I deserve. PERIOD

[ashleydesiree]

YOU GOTTA BE OKAY WITH BEING YOU!

[ashleydesiree]

God wants to know, will you fight back?!

I’m a fighter

Fighting a good fight IS ENOUGH

[akindplace]

We the urban

[ashleydesiree]

Wow this post was meant for me lol

[ashleydesiree]

Sometimes you are so full of where you come from, you can’t see where you’re going

[ashleydesiree]

Become the partner you want to have: What are come things that I have to do even though they may be uncomfortable?

Masturbate without watching anything

#expand your imagination

Wake up and work out first thing

#remember your training

Maintain a balanced diet

#make time

Gain personality

#textbackmore

#watchandlearn

Posing

#practicepictures

[ashleydesiree]

Today was rough at first but I drank some wine and got a text from Sam. He always makes me feel better. Not the best but better

[ashleydesiree]

We were suppose to be married by now. This was supposed to be our first Christmas.

[ashleydesiree]

Venting won’t make you feel better. Calling everyone you know to let them know how bad your day is actually doesn’t make you feel better. Neither does punching a pillow. Or throwing a plate!

[ashleydesiree]

My head feels so clouded. I keep wishing she were dead. It wouldn’t change a thing or make me feel any better. Same for him. Why is he so okay with this? He didn’t love me at all. I want to be okay too. I want these thoughts out of my head. Bad.

[ashleydesiree]

I think I need to recognize my triggers

He is one

Seeing him

Seeing him with her

Looking them up on social media is a huge trigger and should be avoided at all costs. HOLD YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE. REMOND YOURSELF HOW SHITTTY YOU FEEL WHEN YOU DO it! It takes you back to the first 3 months after the break up! Remind yourself when you feel the urge. NEVER EVER FORGET AGAIN!

You’ve given him an immense amount of time and he WONT GET ANOTHER SECOND

Not another second ! I’m done!

He comes in your mind, you fight it off!!! You have to win!

You feel yourself about to look up his social media, call your therapist text someone.

REMIND YOURSELF HOW IT MAKES YOU FEEL!!!

Get up! From the front row of someone else’s movie, walk your ass out of that theatre and be the main character in your own damn film bc God Damnit people are waiting!

If ppl were watching you right now would you have looked him up? Fuck no! So don’t ever do it again. Act like someone is watching you at all cost !

At the cost of you. It costs YOU, to look at his page, it cost you to cry, it costs you to loose sleep, it costs you to not be able to focus on school.

Seeing either of them should be avoided at all costs that’s why you are moving

YOUVE GIVEN HIM ENOUGH FUCKING STOP

STOP

He gets no more of you

No more !

[ashleydesiree]

I just need to stop looking at what other people are doing.

[ashleydesiree]

Your choosing to feel this way

Your playing victim

I’m allowing my peace to be stolen

It happened in the way it was supposed to

It couldn’t have been any other way

I’m going to forgive myself for not showing up the way I should’ve

I’m going to forgive him for what he did to me

Don’t cheat on your future with your past

Now I have space for someone who loves me for me and is fully committed to me

Have full acceptance for everything that has happened to you

I lost who I was with them.

I learned how I want to be treated

They’ve allowed me to go out and find myself again. They are now out of my life where I can find someone who actually treat me the way I want to be treated

If he could have treated me any better he would’ve

If I could’ve treated him any better he would’ve

Look back at your past in full acceptance

What’s is beautiful about this present moment

What will I no long accept

BRING IN THE LIFE THAT I WANT

I’m tired of feeling this way

I choose to let go