Hello
It’s been a long time since I wrote on here, and looking back on my previous posts just break my heart. I was in a terrible downward spiral, I was battling depression and my self esteem had never been lower. I feel like I should clarify a few things, when I started university I already felt like I was off to a bad start because I never really wanted to go I liked the idea more than the thought of debt, student life and studying - but with good friends and a new boyfriend it was hard for me to be bothered! Second year was where it got really tough, the work got harder and my friends turned on me, it felt like I was living with strangers. I was away from my family and friends back home so I clung to my boyfriend for dear life which only secluded me from my housemates more. I was in a job that I hated and then had the bombshell of my dad having a heart attack. I think I took it the worst out of everyone because I was away from him and I’ve always been a person that feels so deeply and strongly that my emotions become too much. I felt trapped at uni and became a person I didn’t recognise if I wasn’t crying, I was shouting and if I wasn’t shouting I was sleeping. I gained weight which made me hate myself more and then I comfort ate. A few months later my Nan was diagnosed with breast cancer. It’s now nearly 2 years on and I’ve graduated, got myself my first job and finally passed my driving test. My Dad is healthy and happy and my Nan was recently given the all clear, I have even signed up to do the race for life this Summer to get myself healthier whilst raising money for a good cause that’s personal to me. After three years of feeling like I had no other options it’s amazing to feel freedom for the first time in a long time. Everyone says new year, new me, but I’m going for new year, old me. I’m feeling like myself for the first time in a long time and I hope this is just the beginning.
