decimated dreams

ash longbottom. twenty-two. if the day ends in y, i have my guitar in my hand. i'm just a man, i'm not a hero. i'm just a boy who had to sing this song.

[ashlongbottom]

ofpcrkinscn‌:

“probably all of the famous ones ranging from harry potter all the way to tom riddle.” he said to the other. stefan was a slytherin, he knew everything about tom that there was to know, he’s become obsessed at one point wanting to know everything about once dark lord. “and i’m sure there will be plenty more to come.”

“probably,” he said, and left it at that. the dark lord had long since been defeated, hadn’t been an issue since before ash was born and, despite the mass genocide or perhaps considering it, he was dumb. albus dumbledore had lived to be how old before he died and he was killed. the dark lord himself died at the age of a regular human. what kind of idiot wrought that on himself? “think it’s too early to drink?” the sun was still up, but that had never stopped anyone before.

[ashlongbottom]

ofmolly‌:

       though molly still loved gathering at the burrow - or her other family members’ homes - it had been slightly overwhelming these days. many didn’t know how to handle her now. apologizing profusely after tossing her a broom to join a game or asking if she could perform a simple household spell. she didn’t really mind, considering she had no idea how to navigate the world around her, either. but it was still difficult to navigate. so she decided to grab lunch out at a pub; instead of being with them or her thoughts alone in her flat. the leaky cauldron was quite crowded, as she expected it would be at this hour, but she still navigated through the patrons, searching for a table in the darker corners. 

     “ oh - ”  it took molly a moment to find the person who spoke, and then to confirm it was speaking to her instead of someone else. but with relief she smiled at the familiar face and began to walk towards their table. “ thank you, i appreciate it. ”  though she knew ash from the occasional gathering of her aunt’s or uncle’s, and the brief overlap of their years at hogwarts; the two hadn’t had a chance to truly spend any time together. but she was grateful he welcomed her to the table. “ you’ve stepped down to have some lunch, as well? ”

ash wasn’t most familiar with molly, but company was company and he had no qualms with her. he just didn’t know her well enough. out of the entire family, he was closest to lily and had primarily stuck around her and occasionally albus when his parents had been invited to a gathering at the burrow. maybe it was the age difference, maybe it was because he had spent time with the potters when his parents had to work and he wasn’t in school, too young to stay home alone. he enjoyed the chaos of the burrow and the extended weasley family but in small doses only. usually, by the end of it, he was hiding out somewhere quiet, letting himself recharge. 

“don’t worry about it,” he said with a smile. losing his magic had pulled him into another slump, one that felt all too familiar. if he hadn’t forced himself out to eat, he likely would have gone several days longer. “yeah. figured it was getting pretty late. should eat lunch before the sun went down.” it would probably be a few minutes before someone was around to take their order but he got his marker out anyway, crossing eat off his arm. 

[ashlongbottom]

ofpcrkinscn‌:

“it sure has seen it’s fair share of witches and wizards as well.” the man said as he looked at the walls and at everything in the room, he’d had some good times here. “i don’t think i’d change anything about it, it has history, i like that.”

the leaky cauldron was said to have been there since the 1500′s and ash, though he was obsessed with knowing dates, didn’t know exactly when. that alone was enough to stir up curiosity. “you make a fair point. it’s kind of a rite of passage, yeah? every witch or wizard in britain has been here at least once. kind of makes you wonder who else could have sat here once.”

[ashlongbottom]

coragoyle‌:

   “I didn’t escape.” She said with a slight chuckle. “Though I probably should still be in bed but I figured laying in bed wallowing in self pity was just the worse option. Plus, I haven’t really had time to go get food and so here I am.” She explained, “I’m alive.” She repeated, “Currently on leave from my job though.. I’m not sure if I should be worried that I might get fired or something.” 

that was probably true, one of the first honest things cora had ever said to him. that didn’t make him feel any better. “alive doesn’t mean okay and you know it.” he wasn’t sure why he cared, just that he still did. “you’re right. wallowing in bed is bad, unless you’re still healing. but at the very least, you’re here. now get something that isn’t firewhiskey and eat.” as if to punctuate his sentence, ash took a sip of butterbeer. hypocrite. he’d also come here to get food, but he wasn’t eating either.

[ashlongbottom]

ofpcrkinscn‌:

“fair point.” he said with a soft chuckle, his eyes once again focusing on the man in front of him. “i remember coming here with my mum when i was younger, back then this place was the only place that i wanted to go.” the man said to mainly himself. “it’s a bit more run down now.”

ash’s own mum had run this place before she got a job at hogwarts, before his parents had him, and it had been a long time since she left. the place surely had seen other owners, other managers and people to care for it. ash was the latest in that long list and the comment grated on his nerves a little, but he didn’t let it show. “it’s an old building, sooner or later, it’ll come full circle and look better.” or tonight, when he went downstairs after close and cleaned everything the muggle way. 

[ashlongbottom]

coragoyle‌:

Cora peeked up at him when he started speaking. She was half expecting him to leave or tell her to shut up. Both reasonable reactions. She had decided to order a firewhiskey when the waitress brought him his butterbeer. Was it fine? She wanted to tell him to yell at her but would that make everything okay? She couldn’t tell him how to feel but Cora felt like she had gotten off any negative retaliation too easily. She bit her bottom lip and let out a shaky sigh as she pushed her hair back and out of her face. She looked up when her firewhiskey was placed in front of her. Lately alcohol had been another thing she used to just get away from it all.  She grabbed her glass and took a sip as well, setting it down. Cora cleared her throat, “I was about to bring in one of the ministry’s most wanted when I lost my magic.” She responded, “They said I was lucky he let me live.” She took another drink and set down the glass. “I’m not sure if to be happy or sad that I lost my magic yet.”

that wasn’t what ash was expecting but in reality, he hadn’t know what he was expecting. bring in and ministry implied auror but ash wasn’t sure if he would believe that she worked for the government. “that sucks,” he said after a second of choosing his words. he’d lost his magic too, but losing his hadn’t been nearly that bad. “you’re okay, though, right? didn’t like, escape from saint mungo’s when you should still be in a hospital bed?” 

[ashlongbottom]

ofpcrkinscn‌:

“still sometimes people like to dine alone.” he said to the other, leaning back in his chair as he looked around them. “slightly less crappy then our pub, plus you can’t really beat the food here, at least not in this part of town.”

he shrugged. “that’s true, but given how busy it is, i feel like it’d be a dick move.” something said that stefan didn’t care though and ash wondered if the situations were reversed, if stefan would have offered him a place to sit. “yeah, the food here is really good. i can smell it when i’m upstairs most of the time.” it made him hungry but he always got distracted doing something else before he could eat. 

[ashlongbottom]

ofpcrkinscn‌:

stefan sighed as he walked into the building, shrugging off his jacket as he went from the cold outdoors to the warm indoors, a fire going in the corner as well as all the warm bodies crammed inside. he needed to get out of his apartment and out of the bar, both places were driving him insane and he just needed something to do that wasn’t staring at a wall or dealing with assholes.

the man had been walking around when he heard someone, turning to face the familiar man that he’d seen play at the bar a few times. “thanks.” stefan said with a nod before taking a seat opposite the male. “it’s nice to see you out of a setting that isn’t some crappy bar.”

“no problem. it’s a big table and i’m only one person.” he had been contemplating coloring his nails in with the marker once he found a table but that quickly went away when stefan joined him. ash already knew he was weird, he didn’t want anyone else knowing. “likewise. even if this is still kind of a crappy pub, it’s not the same crappy pub we’re both used to.”

[ashlongbottom]

coragoyle‌:

  There it was. Cora was used to disappointing people. After all, she had disappointed her parents most of her life but this stung worse. She was always used to evident anger. Punching, hitting, screaming but this hurt worse than any of that and in that moment, she almost wish he would scream at her. Tell her to fuck right off. Anything but this. She nodded and she couldn’t blame him. She swallowed the lump in her throat. She knew he had said that he didn’t want her to talk but she had to say something. “That’s fair.” She replied in a hushed tone. “I don’t blame you for still being angry at me. You have every right to be.. it’s not worth anything but.. I’m sorry, Ash.”    He didn’t have to accept her apology but she needed to say it. 

for half a second, he considered leaving it at that. he wouldn’t ask and she wouldn’t tell him and they could both enjoy their time spent in the pub without incident. but he just couldn’t not ask. it wasn’t in his blood. he’d been raised to help people and be nice and, upon closer inspection, cora did seem to mean it. she also had a bruise on her head that made him curious. “don’t do that,” he said, rolling his eyes. “don’t apologise if you don’t mean it and don’t discredit it if you do. your words matter, don’t downplay them.” with a sigh, he considered her words, considered the wand in his backpack that wouldn’t do him any good. his magic was gone and he could take his frustration out on her but it wasn’t worth it. he had more important things to worry about. “it’s fine. hogwarts was a long time ago. it doesn’t matter anymore.”

it took a few moments longer before the waiter returned with his drink and, after taking a sip, he said, “nice bruise, by the way. wanna tell me how you got it?”

[ashlongbottom]

coragoyle‌:

It didn’t take very long for Cora to finish her cigarette and push herself to walk into the Leaky Cauldron. She tried to be respectful when it came to smoking. She was trying to quit but after everything that had happened in such a short amount of time, any attempts to do so flew out the window. Cora dusted herself off as she walked inside and noticed most places were occupied until she locked eyes with someone.  She hadn’t seen him in what felt like ages. It had been years since they had graduated Hogwarts and well, the age difference sure didn’t help the situation. Suddenly Cora could feel herself getting anxious and her heart sank. She recalled how she had used him and how he was the only reason she even passed Herbology years ago. Had he forgotten or had he forgiven her? Either seemed plausible but she wasn’t sure which it was. Cora hesitated before stepping forward and slowly sitting down next to him. “I didn’t think it’d be this crowded..” She started and looked down, avoiding eye contact for a moment. “It’s been a while.” This was awkward and suddenly she was regretting it but he deserved an apology. She wanted to right this. He didn’t deserve the grief she had put him through.

being polite was different than being nice. ash knew that for a fact. being an adult meant you had to know when to not be cruel or rude just because you didn’t like someone. it wasn’t being two faced, it was simply keeping your attitude in check. but he wasn’t sure if he invited cora over because there was still some part of him that was reminded of her presence in his life. they’d never been friends, he’d only thought they had been but it had been her using him. that wasn’t something he had been prepared for. while a waiter came around, he’d lost whatever hint of appetite he’d found and just ordered a butterbeer. so much for eating. when the waiter was gone, he replied, rather coldly, “i offered you a seat to be polite. this is a table for four and i am one person. that doesn’t mean we have to talk. in fact, i’d prefer if you didn’t, cora.”

[ashlongbottom]

it wasn’t every day that ash forgot to eat but it was becoming more and more common again. usually he had something lying around that he could pick at, ice cream or cereal or a cauldron cake he bought awhile ago. he wasn’t sure if there was anything in them that could go bad, but if there was, it was probably long since spoiled. it was the only reason he left his apartment that day, a marker tucked behind his ear so he could update his to do list; his arms were currently covered in ink, like drink water and eat. 

well, the water part probably wasn’t going to be happening today but he’d at least made it downstairs from his flat and into the leaky cauldron. it was pretty busy and he had trouble finding a table, and that’s with the fact that he knew about all the ones that people avoided for various reasons: the legs were uneven or the wood in the chairs were splintering. it took him a minute but he managed to snag a table and when he did, he noticed an familiar face, looking for someplace to sit. “you can join me,” he called over the quite din. “plenty of room.”

[ashlongbottom]

hugogw‌:

“by two months!” he affirmed with the nod of his head. sometimes he wondered if his premature birth was one of the reasons why he was born so fucked up, so abnormal. maybe he never finished cooking. the self hatred spiral was TOO easy for him to fall into and he was working on getting better, catching himself before he got too caught up in the darkness. so instead he decided to fixate on the nice boy in front of him, with the pretty brown eyes that gave him a reason to smile. “well i suppose today is an unofficial hang with your grandparents day, huh?” bright orbs flickered down to the guitar, interest immediately spiked. see, hugo himself, was a closeted musician, “you going to serenade them as well? what a lovely grandson you are.” he teased, playfully bumping ash’s shoulder with his own, already feeling a little more at ease. was he flirting? one could never tell with hugo. “well surely the flower can’t even compare to you and your music.” as if worried he’d offended the flower, a soft smile preyed onto his lips as he leaned forward to gently stroke the flower’s petals, “sorry, babe. fun fact…she’s the easiest flower in the world! self sufficient so you don’t even need to worry about watering her.” one of the amazing wonders of certain magical flowers.

ash wasn’t quite sure of how to reply to that, or even if he should reply at all, so he left it with a small, “wow. that’s pretty cool. how many people can say that?” it felt easy to discuss stuff like his music or the flowers, after a lot of time spent with his father. his grandparents was another issue. his mum had lost her mum when she was in school and he never heard anything about her dad but his dad’s own parents were still very much alive. just not sane. it felt like a loss. a lot of his peers didn’t have their grandparents after the second war and it wasn’t uncommon for people to die but he didn’t lose them. had just never had them. “yeah. it doesn’t do much but it makes me feel better.” the flower was pretty and he watched hugo lean forward to stroke the petals. “that’s good to know. i’m bad at remembering to take care of things.” up to and including himself.

[angstyindie-blog]

[ashlongbottom]

hugogw‌:

ash’s reception to the flower instantly made him feel at ease. he’d immediately felt anxious the SECOND he gave the offer. hugo had the tendency to do the WRONG thing, especially socially and with cute guys. “a preemie flower!” he exclaimed as the sudden thought came to him, cheeks tinting pink, “i was a preemie. not a preemie flower, obviously. just a preemie wizard.” there he was, making things awkward again, rubbing the back of his neck, “oh…just grabbing a couple of things for my grandmum. what about you? i mean…other than coming here to get flowers from weird gingers.”

“were you really?” ash asked, actually interested. the complexities of medicine and the human body weren’t something he even pretended to understood more than the basic amount of. plants weren’t even necessarily his thing. he liked them well enough and knew how to care for them thanks to his dad’s green thumb but other than that? sure they were pretty and could liven up a room but so could music and sunlight and a variety of other things. still, it was the thought that counted and this really was a beautiful flower. “no, it’s actually perfect. i’m headed out to visit my gran and grandad for a bit,” he gestured to the guitar strapped to his back, proving his intentions, “even this flower being there for a little bit might be able to make things a little brighter.”

[ashlongbottom]

ash longbottom, a study  — 1/?

[intoasylum]

[ashlongbottom]

intoasylum‌:

IF THIS AIN’T ME

[ashlongbottom]

hugogw‌:

it’d been a nice day, eerily warm for feburary but he wasn’t complaining. sunny days like this meant more time in the garden with his grandmum. hands were still dusted with dirt, forgetting to wash up before going to run some errands. expression immediately brightening up at the sight of the other as he handed them the flower, “here…she bloomed early. was hoping to find someone to give it to. my room is already FILLED with flowers…besides she seems to like you better.” hugo had the tendency to talk about flowers as if they were people.

@ministrystart​

it wasn’t what ash had been expecting when he stepped into the sun. for the first time in days, he’d managed to drag himself out of his flat and actually experience the world. he hadn’t been expecting much, certainly not hugo, offering a flower, but he appreciated a beautiful flower just as much as the rest. “she’s beautiful, if not a little early, apparently.” truthfully, he didn’t understand gendering the flowers, but hugo was referring to it with feminine pronouns so he would too. “thank you ... what brings you out today?”