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@kaleflutterdust
How'd you get a girlfriend as a tiny little fairy?
I flew into her ear every night and whispered about how hot Kale Flutterdust was and how she should totally be his girlfriend, and when @anwenarendelle woke up she followed my subliminal messages, duh.
send me questions and i will answer with definite lies
TEXT | KALWEN
Anwen: And that's what I love about you! You're a man with a plan. ❤️❤️❤️
Anwen: Close, but no! I'm going on Royal Match, aka RJ's Walt Bachelor. I applied before we got together and now it's happening really soon, so I figured I could use the spot for promo! But I can't go in with a boyfriend for obvious reasons. :/ Do you understand, darling?
Kale: Ooooooh. Like all those girls who sell hair gummies and start podcasts on Instagram after they get dumped by the dude dating 30 girls?
Kale: So he's allowed to date like 50 of you and you can't date two people? Well... that really sucks. So does getting dumped by text, unless you're not dumping me for real? Now I'm kind of confused.
TEXT | KALWEN
Anwen: Oh, if only. What I'd give to see the look on your face at the sight of domesticated sharks in Walt. It'd be so adorable.
Anwen: But really, I've signed up for a lovely and wonderful opportunity to get some exposure for my designs! But there's only one tiny tiny tiny small tiny problem. We have to break up. 🥺
Kale: I'd probably get kicked out of Walt, though. Because I'd probably steal one. You'd be cool sleeping in a room that had a shark tank, right? I'm not sure how well their eyes would work, they probably wouldn't see anything too weird.
Kale: Oh. Are you going on a singles cruise or something to promote them? Because I'm sure no one would be able to tell the difference as long as I didn't go with you! Or as long as I only went fairy-sized, I'm good at hiding.
why Anwen?
I first noticed @anwenarendelle because she was super ugly, and then I realized she was super boring to talk to, and like, really dumb. Like truly the stupidest person I’ve ever met. She’s so ordinary and plain and basic and average, I’m obsessed with how unremarkable she is. She hates romance and fun and she also seems like she hates me, which is a real turn on in a girl. On a scale of jellyfish to shark, she’s for sure a jellyfish.
Send Me Questions And I Will Answer With Definite Lies
TEXT | KALWEN
Anwen: my darling Flutterbutt, how are you today? 😊❄️️✨ I have some wonderful news!
Kale: Better now that I found my phone, AND the notification that helped me find it was from you :D
Kale: What's the news? DOES WALT HAVE SHARKS NOW?
TEXT || KALEFELIA
Ofelia: I was nauseous the entire time I was home in Pixie Hollow. I couldn't figure out why and then as soon as I was back in my ~newly renovated~ cottage and opened up my closet I was instantly cured. The leaf dresses and flower petal skirts were LITERALLY making me want to vomit.
Kale: Come on, O, you look beautiful in everything, even literal tree trash! I mean not trash, but it's rejected from the tree just like trash is rejected from people so... yeah, not helping, am I?
ivyflutterdust:
While I’m sure the Noli party was phenomenal, I’m slightly disappointed that I didn’t hear anything about an eco friendly options while everyone was partying. I’d like to remind everyone that the ocean is our friend and if we don’t do anything about things soon, our planet isn’t going to survive much longer! Be more eco friendly, please!
SAVE THE SHARKS! But also like, do your friends even throw the kinds of parties that you’re wanting people to throw? I’m pretty sure I’ve seen like... straws and stuff in their pictures, little sis.
What’s wrong? Are you sad?
text 💬 kelia 😩
Delia J: IF YOU LET SHARKS EAT ME, I WILL HAUNT YOU FOREVER AND RUIN YOUR WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE WITH HOW MUCH YOU'LL MISS ME AND FEEL GUILTY
text 💬 kelia 😩
Delia J: THAT'S SO STUPID! I'M NOT TAKING IT BACK!
Kale: I'LL TELL THE SHARKS TO EAT YOU FIRST, AND THEN I'LL DO THE WORLD'S BEST JOB OF PRETENDING NOT TO MISS YOU.
text 💬 kelia 😩
Delia J: Yeah probably. Like if Sharknado really happened I think the country would take some time off to heal.
Kale: IF SHARKNADO ACTUALLY HAPPENED THEN I BELIEVE THAT THE TORNADO SHARKS WOULD BE SENTIENT ENOUGH TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND RUN THE TV STATIONS AND PICK THE PROGRAMMING, TAKE THAT BACK!
Whichever texts makes u happy
text meme | send one for…
( 😩 ) a worried text for @deliajubilee !!
text 💬 kelia 😩
Kale: You don't think anything could ever make them cancel Shark Week, do you?
loudcrman:
meladoodle:
BREAKING NEWS: more shark attacks during shark week because they all think we’re saying ‘shark weak’ and it upsets them
nick robinson for broadway.com
༄*:･ﾟ✧
TEXT 🌞 KELIA
Delia J: I'M KEEPING THE DOG.
Kale: I'm going to get a new dog that your dog is going to fall in love with and then THEY'LL RUN AWAY FROM HOME TO BE TOGETHER AND BOTH DOGS WILL BE MINE!
