This is actually really cool news- it's not final and I haven't really told anyone, but Reyna is thinking about giving me the coffee shop. I mean, she's moving because of her mom, and she wants to give it to me for safe keeping. I basically live there anyways. So that's exciting.
It's great to be surrounded by coffee smells, especially in the morning. Even if people are yelling at you for getting their orders mixed up.
GENERAL NOTES:Â There's a flashback that happens in here. So technically she's still in her apartment. Sorry I didn't get this in sooner!
Ash sipped her coffee. It was funny how even though she knew how to make any sort or variation of java on Earth, she still took her coffee black. Maybe it was a Rogerson thing. A shiver went down her spine, but not one of the nice ones. The kind that made her want to put on gloves and turn on the fireplace or hop into the oven. It was Rogerson's fault. That's what she told herself. And it was true. Right?
It wasn't like she hated him or anything, she had mostly, and I say mostly, gotten over it. What bothered her was his nerve. They had been in love- serious love. But now, she wondered. It had seemed so easy for him to just, bite her. It didn't make sense. Would he do this to her if he cared?
These were questions that Ashlyn perpetually tortured herself with. It didn't matter that he was gone and that she'd never see him. These were facts that she forced herself to not take into reason. And there was a part of her that didn't want to see him again, and there was one that ached for it. It was less in resolve than fear or anger for him. She didn't want to hit or kick him or hurt him for that matter. He just wanted to look him in the eyes and know that he had taken something away from her. A life. She could've had everything. A stable job, a child. Not anymore. She was stuck working at a lowly end coffee shop in the summertime and counting down the years before she couldn't turn human again. And that, she thought, was all him. And something about remembering that she wasn't him was strangely idyllic.
So as Ashlyn sat milling about listlessly in her small, studio apartment, twirling her cup of black coffee and thinking about the boy she spent a year with who, if it had been different, she might have spent more with. So when it all came back in a cascade of past, Ashlyn wasn't surprised. She had been asking for it. It was only fair that she flashbacked.
Ash walked along a tightrope of a sidewalk. Her head pounded with dehydration and her mouth tasted like virus. She had thought she was getting better, but it had been ephemeral, and perhaps a figment of her mind. She stopped for a moment to get sick on the curb before sitting down hard on the pavement. She ripped off the scarf she had been wearing to keep warm, and another wave of nausea threatened to be a tsumani. She brushed shaking fingers over the open sore on her neck and thought about Rogerson.
Maybe it was thinking about him, or maybe his insouciance about the whole thing. Maybe it was the cold September air brushing against her bare neck. But a wave came over the blonde that was not nausea. And it occured to her that she might not be human anymore. And just as she brushed the thought off incredulously, she started turning. It did not pass quickly, but the monster inside her took its time. She crawled off into a patch of shadow, hoping she didn't look as coarse as she felt.
That's when her skin became a pelt and her eyes became daggers and her cheekbones became a long snout. She screamed as her humanity was ripped away in small, uncious bites, bites from her wolfish teeth. She didn't have time to stop and think about what was happening to her, but she remembered Rogerson, and his feral growl before leaping at her. Part of her knew that it wasn't him that committed that crime. And she didn't want to commit one as well.
She loped off into the woods, tail between her legs, stopping again to dry heave. Something she couldn't feel in her mind but in her physical form was creeping up from her legs. A sense of liberty from her limiting human body. She could be anything, thanks to Rogerson. So as she flew through the woods, she allowed herself to be grateful to her monster boyfriend. A monster that now, was her.
I told you about the whole furniture thing, other than that I’ve been just keeping myself busy doing random things. I need to make a friend or two in this town or I’ll end up driving myself crazy.
I know what you mean about making friends though. Even if you've grown up here it's hard to breach the gap that people make to distance themselves from relationships. It's like, when people are wolves they think they can't have friends anymore.
Well she liked books and writing too much, so that was enough to know that she's just me incarnate. I mean, I love writing, but much less writing about myself. It's more fun to get into a character's head that's foreign to you.
I've never been able to deal with Mary Sues in books that I read. I do love books but I can't stand the perfection that comes along with a Sue, you know?
Well don’t give up, always give it a chance to become something more than it is. It takes time to create something, so put it down and do something new for awhile.
I’m decent, I haven’t heard from you since the party. How are you?
Sure you can, darling! It was a story at first, but the main character has become a bit of a Mary Sue, so I'm probably gonna scratch it and start over.
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