Ash

[ashmonster3]

Some times I have black thoughts, like I have a black accent. Well I’m not, I’m white like neon white, I am part Native American but that is like a small percent. Like bitch that be European invading America bc we think we all that. Mhmm, you not Native American, you white with a sprinkle of native. 1/536 or something. Idk but I’m still proud of that lil percent, like maybe it will make me less crazy. It’s too late, I am the crazy.

[ashmonster3]

An ash moment

Bro talk: where you communicate by only saying the word bro, bro is said in different tones. For example:

Bro 1 and bro 2 were talking and bro 2 hears about how rough bro 1 is having it so bro 2 give bro 1 some money to help out and this is their conversation.

“Bro!?” Bro 1 exclaimed in shock.

“Bro.” Bro 2 confirmed with a smile.

“Bro?” Bro 1 asked to be sure.

“Bro.” Smiled bro 2.

“Bro!” Bro 1 excitedly threw himself at Bro 2 for a Bro hug.

This is the end of the example.

[ashmonster3]

An ash moment

To all the people who tepeed other peoples houses. I bet you wish you had those toilet paper rolls back. 

[ashmonster3]

So anyone else make this connection? Or was it just me? Gollum’s hair.

[ashmonster3]

Just an ash moment

You know, people walk around the underwear  aisle and think these half naked pictures of people aren’t porn. But when you watch porn and they all start the same way as that underwear aisle picture. And people wonder why so many people are addicted to porn.

I suddenly understand why people like watching people at the beach. It’s a very swimy lingerie.

[ashmonster3]

An ash moment

So you have people who speak to much to listen and then you have the people who listen bc they just want to be listened to so no one hears them.

And people ask why mental illness is on the rise. Bc everyone wants to be heard and some people are too busy listening to themselves to listen.

[ashmonster3]

An idea up for adoption

What if Robin Hood was really a woman dressed up like a man. And history didn’t like that so they made her become a he. Just saying it’s an option.

[ashmonster3]

For some reason I wrote this instead of sleep

Death

There is no reason to be afraid

For when the light begins to fade

And your life starts to drain

Step on to the moving train

To the world of the dead.

It seems your mind is far from your head

You never knew you could’ve flown

To see the wonders of those unknown.

The great adventure of the there after

Has us all seeking for another letter

Another word, another sentence, another way to be whole again

For no peace will remain

Unless we seek what it is that which we need

Something away from human greed

He is the only one who can give us peace

Sweet death will give us no release

[ashmonster3]

So... is this what hitler told himself to sleep at night?

[ashmonster3]

An ash moment

You know the saying “rawr means I love you in dinosaur?” Well “rawr” also means I kill you in dinosaurs. Dinosaurs speak in rawr ok, so you never know if they are friendly or hungry.

[ashmonster3]

An ash moment

So you know when you laugh at a meme and then scroll down and you have no idea what the meme was about, kinda the equivalent of walking into a room for a reason and having no idea why when you get there. It was funny though, that’s all I remember, because I laughed, I did. Just what did I laugh at though.

[ashmonster3]

Just an ash moment

So like have you ever just told a joke and no one laughs but you and you think you’re freaking hilarious. Then your best friend or your sibling walks in and ask why you’re laughing so you try to breath through your laughs to tell the joke. Then because they think the same things are funny as you do they’re are there laughing along side you and you just realize “it was you that that joke was suppose to be said to.”

[ashmonster3]

Why pun why?

Sweet potatoes aren’t really my yam.

[ashmonster3]

So,

Anyone else still in denial about Tony Stark dying in endgame. Like I know why they did it, bc he would never be able to give up being Ironman. And rdj wanted to get out from under that. But I just can’t comprehend it. I still haven’t watched the new Spider-Man far from home bc of it. I’m in denial. That last part of the movie didn’t happen. He woke up and lived happily with his daughter and pepper. I don’t believe it.

[ashmonster3]

Just an ash moment

So like I need like someone who is prim and proper like a queen, and she’s like loosing an argument and mad but can’t show it bc she’s a queen. To be like “well press your lips to my backside,” and get up and start walking away then at the door over her shoulder “and don’t forget to pucker too.”

[ashmonster3]

An ash moment

The conversation I have in my head at ass o’clock in the morning are interesting. It went a little like this:

“Would I let Derek Hale suck my dick yes, yes I would.

One problem, I don’t have one”

Random male in my head that doesn’t even exist. “You sir come here so that I might have a perfect specimen to grow my dick like.” And then I realize “you can’t just grow a dick, ash, you have to have either it from the womb or surgery from that.” And it all sounded very complicated when I have no money or a dick or have a fictional character in my room to suck imaginary dick. This is why I don’t like waking up early.

[ashmonster3]

Can we just marvel at this coincidence that happened on Pinterest. It’s beautiful.

I get sucked into my fandoms and I have no shame. It’s amazing.