The simple power “No.” has can’t be understated. It’s especially fun those first few times someone hears it. When they’re forced to contend with the reality that everything they’ve taken for granted is now something they need to request. Something they’ll need to beg for.
“No, you’re not wearing that outfit.” I’m going to send them back to change again and again until their dress suits my tastes. Makeup, hair, even the jewelry and perfume they wear will be changed and decided outside what they thought was correct, or was their preference.
Personally, my favorite’s always the shock in their eyes when you drag them off the couch that first time. “Animals need permission to sit on furniture.” Even when they ask, the answer will be “No.” They’ll sit on the floor, by my feet where an animal should be. I want them close to me, where I just need to reach out to feel the top of their head. There’s a pout at first, but eventually they always relax and settle their head against my leg.
Even something so simple as leaving my side to go to the bathroom has to be requested, and that is denied with a simple “No.” No, they don’t get to decide something so basic as that. I hate doggie doors, and I’m not ready to get up yet, so no. They’ll stay put, only able to hope with mounting desperation that I’ll take pity on them as they squirm.
I’m training them to hesitate.
When getting ready for a date, their mind should be focused on me, my tastes, and how I enjoy seeing them dressed and presented. When guided to a chair in a restaurant, their first instinct should be to look to me, to hesitate, until I’ve nodded my head and given them permission.
The end goal, of course, is for that hesitation to eventually vanish. Training becomes second nature, ingrained to the point it’s closer to reflex. The worry over the decisions they used to fret over, becomes confidence as they learn to follow my lead without a second thought.
I’m not allowing them the anxiety of choice.
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