the reason I appreciate zane lowe’s interviews with harry is that they are so raw and real.
when harry talks about the future for making space for people, relationships, etc., or about fulfillment, it really hit me hard. I started crying and got to thinking about how I’m 33 years old and what have I really done for myself? What have I done that’s fulfilling? What do I need to make space for?
I’m in masters library school and I have a year left of it, but damn. I’ve been in school for so long that I’m tired and bored of it. I wanted so badly in 2023 to become an archivist that I thought yeah, I can do this. Piece of cake. But now that I’m in it, I’m struggling to find any sense of motivation to complete it. And it is so easy for everyone else to say “you’re so close,” or “you can do it” — I know I can, but do I really want to? Do I financially want to? Where is this piece of paper going to get me? Then my mind and heart goes back to my first love of wanting to pursue art conservation.
I’ve never been in a relationship, yet I know what I want in one. When Harry talked about what he wants in a relationship or future with his person, is like -- “Hey! That’s me! That’s what I want.” And it’s so terrifyingly true that you wish someone like that would find you? I feel he is so wise beyond his years, and I genuinely just love the man. Like if I could call anybody my soulmate it would be him (and I don’t say that about anyone). I’m getting ahead of myself because everyone probably thinks that of him (that likes him anyway).
But yeah, where do I need to make space for people, relationships, or what I want to do?
My mind is racing and when I try to tell the people that I’m close to about such things—they just shoot me down and say “oh, you guys think your life is so awful. It could’ve been worse.” Like, how am I supposed to feel with such comments? I’m being so open and honest about what I’ve done in my life thus far to only get told that?! My life has had good and bad, but the good outweighs the bad. But I think that it’s time to just have a heart to heart with myself and what I need to do to get what I want or get where I need to be. Not just physically, emotionally, financially, but mentally too.
I don’t know if this will make any sense since it’s just random thoughts, but maybe someday I can look back and reflect on such things and be like “yeah, I remember that that was the moment I decided to change and think about some hard feelings and things.”
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