Michael

22. Scottish. At Cambridge doing PG English.

[tastefullyoffensive]

by Nathan Pyle

[staraptor]

life… is an egg

[kavvka-deactivated20171211]

explain

[staraptor]

has chickens in it sometimes

[a6]

me: hold the fuck up 

the fuck: *is hold*

[cacavape]

[coolhiroaki]

me, looking at a couple: so which one of you yodels and which one of you raps???

[chellmetra-deactivated20220515]

Eurovision victories

Fake victory: getting first place. True victory: becoming a meme. Petty victory: getting more points than your neighbors.

[johnnyjaqobis]

[marvinism]

*Romania comes up* 

me: lol wtf are they srsly yodeling

*20 seconds later*

me:YODALEEEYEE YODALELYALOOOO

[drottinsdagur-blog]

yooDEEELiiiiIIIIIIIIIi yooDEEEELIiiiiiiIIIIIiiii yoDEEEEELeeEEEeeiiOOOOOOo

[blooodymoon]

Italy proofs again that Eurovision is GAY

[waggington-deactivated20150109]

some people are afraid of dogs but i’m afraid of the opposite of dogs. the absence of dogs. dogless space

[ithelpstodream]

[we-want-chilly-willy]

[transexualizer-deactivated20170]

the word “chungus” is way funnier than any racist has ever been or ever will be

[movingblogsbye-deactivated20170]

[william-snekspeare]

"When you're in your bee suit and you feel sweat running down your back, that's fine. If you feel sweat running up your back, that's a bee"

-Some beekeeping advice my mom gave me today

[lumpawaroospaceprincess-moved-d]

I thought “bee suit” meant like a bee costume until I read the word beekeeping

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[mjalti]

me, drinking tea: pls leaf water….sage my body of the demons of my past…steam my colon…let me know peace

me, drinking coffee: I beg of u bean juice….cleanse me of the curse of sleep….make my heart beat like a tribal drum in ceremony….let me conquer this building

[bidoof]

the best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened and they’ll instantly start celebrating too and they have no idea what the context is they’re just always ready to party no matter what