demeter chuckled and slowly went up behind munkustrap to wrap her arms around him. she just wanted to surprise him. resting her head against his back. "are you doing okay, munk?" she mumbled against his back. ( ask--demeter )
The silver tabby jumped as Demeter seemingly appeared out of thin air behind him. He'd been so lost in his thoughts he hadn't realised she was there. He had to actively stop himself from answering no to her question, looking behind himself. "Yes. Of course I am. Are you okay?" He raised a brow, a small smile appearing on his lips.
@ask--demeter
she sighed and nuzzled his back lightly. "don’t turn the question on m e." she laughed softly. she wasn’t, but she wasn’t ready to let munkustrap know she was simply . . thinking about things that . . we’re a bit hard to think about. "you’re obviously not, munk." she whispered softly, she moved to place her paws into munkustrap’s from behind. holding him a small bit tighter. "you can talk to me, dear." she said, softly, slowly making her way around him so she could face him, grabbing his paws again once her eyes were on his. "what’s up?" she could read him like a book. she supposed that was good, though.
"Nothing!" Munk replied, a slight laugh in his voice. He didn't give up without a fight when it came to these things. "I'm not turning the question on you. After all, I gave you an answer. But you didn't answer my question." Munkustrap smiled a little wider. "So, if anything, you're turning the question on me." He counterargued, squeezing Demeter's paws a little. "You can talk to me, dear." Yes, he was intentionally repeating what Deme had said. And yes, he would go to great lengths to avoid discussing his feelings.
she crossed her arms and gave munkustrap a chuckle. "i’m fine, please, munk." she insisted and moved her paws onto his shoulders with a . . a bit of an awkward smile accompanying her. "i can t e l l you aren’t doing well, everything has always been about me . . munk, please?" she didn’t want to become a problem, again. she was putting everyone through enough worry and her question . . she’d only distress him further. she moved her arms to wrap around his neck as she looked up at him. her paws slowly moved to rest on his chest slowly as she kept her eyes on his. "and i can’t turn a question if i already asked it. it’s called you’re full of s h i t, munk."
The tabby's eyes widened and he spluttered for a second. "What?! No!" He gave a nervous, maybe too loud laugh. Munkustrap could feel his face heat up. "I'm not!- Full of-" He trailed off, glancing to the side. "I'm doing fine, Demeter, really!" He quickly pulled her into a hug, making sure to rest his head atop hers so that they didn't make eye contact. He was shit at lying. "You don't have to worry about me, you've already got so much stress on you. Believe me, I'm fine." He reassured again, just in case.
"if you tell me what’s wrong, i’ll tell you what’s wrong." she promised. she chuckled at his reaction to her swearing. she wrestled her face away so she could look him in the eyes again. "look at me, tiger." she chuckled and placed her paws on his shoulder, moving her paw to his cheek to keep him facing her. she stroked his cheek lightly. "i love y o u, just talk to me." she shook his shoulders slightly and gave him a look, her eyes were filled with pure love as her paw rested on his cheek. she wanted him to talk to her. she was trying her best to simply get his attention. she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.
"But I don't want to make you worry, Deme!" He insisted, giving the golden queen a conflicted look. He DID want to tell Demeter the truth, because he loves her and it'd be relieving to get it off his chest, but he also DIDN'T because he loves her and doesn't want to add onto her troubles and worries. It was... Troubling to say the least. "Really- I'll be fine-" He frowned, glancing away before looking back to her. "I always turn out fine, okay? It's just me being stupid and nervous, nothing important. I don't want to upset you, Deme."
"you’re l y i n g to me." she said, she knew very well he didn’t end up fine. he’d breakdown and that hurt demeter, more then him simply saying what was bothering him. "you . . you know what happens when you don’t talk." she managed to get out as she placed her paws on his chest lightly to look up at him. "you’ll upset me more if you don’t tell me." she insisted, moving one paw to stroke his cheek as the other wrapped around his waist. "it’s important to me." she added. in a voice that meant it like a promise. he’d always be important to her and she’d always love him, for the rest of time, and she could admit that.
Munkustrap stared down at Demeter for a couple of seconds, a debate going on in his head about what to do. Eventually he gave in and let out a small sigh. "Fine.." He mumbled. "I-" He drew in a sharp breath, trying to think of how to say it. "I'm afraid?" He said it more like an answer than an explanation. "I just.. I'm scared of him. And I'm scared of what he'll do." It did feel relieving to be able to talk about it, that was for sure. Still, Munk couldn't help but worry a little. "I know what he can do." He knew more than he wished he did. "And I don't want that to happen to anyone. Ever again. But I... I don't know what to do to stop him. Because if I fight and hurt him he'll just run back to his hideout and lick his wounds and then it'll happen all over again and I know I can't keep doing this my entire life-" Munkustrap felt like he was in a panicked ramble by now but he couldn't stop. "- And I'm aware that if I want to end it for good then he has to die but I can't kill him. I don't want him to die. He's my brother and I HATE him but I just- I can't, I-" The tabby felt like his throat hurt, and his breathing was getting faster. It was too much.
demeter listened to every word he said, of course she did. she brought her paws to his cheeks and held them as he spoke. when his breath was faster she stroked his cheek and nuzzled the fur near his shoulder. "it’s okay." she whispered, holding him close and resting her head against his. she couldn’t say what was bothering her now. now that she knew his problem was macavity. "i . . i never want to be with a killer ever again." she whispered into his ear, pressing light kisses to the side of his head and scratching behind munkustrap’s ear. "i hate him too, but you know that. i just wish i never had to see him i . . i hope i haven’t been making it worse." she said softly. since macavity scarred her and he’d been around more often since she came. it would be her fault he had to deal with it. she didn’t say that was her realization though. "munkustrap . . " she whispered. "i love you." she added and started to hum. soon letting herself sing him a song, very lightly. hoping it would calm him down.
