PERMANENTLY CLOSED

[kiwiplaetzchen]

Just a bunch of peanuts 🥜💚

@adallegra @theodoradevlin @ask-wren-zhang @ask-andrew-montrose @ask-alsius-vafer (and @ask-felix-aberg)

[raenegade-accio]

[adallegra]

Hugs for the talented, Kiwi-bean 🤍

[theodoradevlin]

[ask-alsius-vafer]

I think we can all agree that Kiwi is the most precious peanut of us all. 🩵

[ask-alsius-vafer]

I want you to wear me like a scarf.

I could certainly try to carry you on my shoulders but I can't guarantee I will be successful.

[ask-alsius-vafer]

Dear Alsius,

You're far too humble. Please accept this raspberry pie as a token of my gratitude. It was no trouble at all, since baking is one of my hobbies.

Enjoy!

With love,

Gabrielle

Dear Gabrielle,

It is humbly received with many thanks, and I still hope you saved some for yourself to enjoy too.

Seems baking is quite the popular hobby. I may not have any talent for it, but @ask-felix-aberg has become quite skilled. Perhaps you've run into him in the kitchens?

...assuming that's where all the student bakers go. I'm afraid I'm not particularly knowledgeable in available spaces for resident Hogwarts culinary enthusiasts, but if I'm correct, I should think (hope?) that the house elves enjoy the varied company.

It's not much, but with this owl I've included a small pot of healing balm. The base tincture is a concoction of my own making, but rest assured it's well tested to be gentle and effective. Whilst I sincerely hope you don't find yourself in need of it, please accept it with my gratitude.

Yours faithfully, Alsius

[ask-alsius-vafer]

Sir, I want to take you so deep, you can give my insides a high five.

That is physically inadvisable...

...and slightly unsettling.

[ask-alsius-vafer]

Do I have smallpox? Jedidiah told me that I was ethereal pale.

*Giggles.*

...

Perhaps you should try increasing your iron intake

...

And not take healing advice or compliments from Jedidiah

[ask-alsius-vafer]

A group of students arrive at the Hospital Wing with a trolley load of bouquets, get-well cards and sweets and look hopefully at Alsius.

"We heard that Sebastian was injured and wanted to come and see him! Which one is his bed?"

Alsius glances at the trolley with overt sympathy. Must have been quite an ordeal to get everything all the way to the top of the tower.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Sebastian never comes to the Hospital Wing when he's injured. Unless he is grievously ill and I drag him here by force, he convalesces in his room." He gives the group a once-over, eyes resting on a few Slytherin ties, and then points to a small parcel of potions and provisions he just finished preparing. "If any of you happen to venture to his dorm, you can take this to him and save me the hike to the dungeons."

And the headache, he thinks wryly.

[ask-alsius-vafer]

Dear Alsius

To thank you for your services, I'd love to make you your favourite dessert. What can I make you?

With love

Gabrielle

Dear Gabrielle,

There's really no thanks necessary. I'm happy to be of service, at least so far as my capabilities allow.

I can't think of one particular dessert that is an absolute favourite. I don't eat copious amounts of sweets, but given the season...perhaps something with raspberries would nice.

That said, please don't go to any undo trouble for me. If I'm unable convince you out of that, then all I ask is that you make enough to enjoy as well.

I would offer to return the favour in kind...but my culinary skills are rather lacking...

Yours faithfully, Alsius

[ask-alsius-vafer]

I feel a bit dizzy from the heat. Could you help me, please?

*casts a gentle cooling charm at the back of your neck*

[ask-alsius-vafer]

A student trips into the Hospital Wing, clutching at their arm that looks suspiciously disjointed.

“HEALER SÖTPOTATIS! IS THERE A HEALER SÖTPATATIS?” Their eyes start to water as they frantically look around the infirmary, “It hurts so much.”

Alsius immediately takes the patient in hand and guides them to an open bed, repeatedly muttering something that sounds suspiciously like remember your oath all the while.

[ask-alsius-vafer]

Dear Alsius,

I would like you to crack me open like a new book and annotate my pages until they are full of your marks.

Respectfully, --Fin Germi

Dear Fin,

I was under the impression that writing in book margins was frowned upon, if @ask-sebastian's reaction to the prospect is any indication at least.

Yours faithfully, Alsius

[ask-alsius-vafer]

I heard Nurse Blainey said that Monty is the boy with the biggest heart she has ever seen. Is that true?

I can't say she's ever made such a confession to me.

[ask-alsius-vafer]

Who would you say has a bigger... heart? Montrose or Felix?

Literally speaking, I have quite thankfully never seen either with my own eyes.

Metaphorically speaking, I don't know Andrew well, though I have never heard anything negative other than from @ask-sebastian...

...who we all know is not a reliable source in these matters.

However, I can say with much confidence that Felix's heart is as big as he is. Probably too big, in many circumstances. He is as generous with it as he is his baked goods.

[ask-alsius-vafer]

*Widely smirks at you.*

Hehe. He would kiss you~ Hehe.

Who?

[ask-alsius-vafer]

I think I forgot everything about anatomy, so I'm going to have to closely examine your body and refresh my memory.

*slowly drags over the hanging skeleton model*

[ask-alsius-vafer]

*Watches you as you unbutton just one button on your shirt.*

Merlin have mercy.

*is extremely startled by the unexpected company*

On whom?

[ask-alsius-vafer]

My CPR may be rusty, but I can promise you, at least my lips won't be crusty.

Because I stole all the vaseline.

I kindly ask you to return the lot to the infirmary. There are genuine patients in need of those supplies.

[ask-alsius-vafer]

Do we need more lube or...?

We?