Boss of the Port Mafia

"It's inevitable. Don't you get it?"

[ask-beastdazai]

INTRODUCTION POST

OOC - OOC - OOC - OOC

The owner of this account is not a minor, so flirting and mild nsfw is alright. If I'm not comfortable with anything, I will ignore the ask.

I'm hoping to do some art answers to asks, but this will be dependent on the availability of my tablet or motivation.

All of BEAST!Dazai's answers will be in white. Anything in red is from the account owner.

I will interact with angst, fluff, flirting, other RP accounts in the BSD fandom, and crack/joke requests. I don't find brainrot funny and likely won't respond to those.

I enjoy ALL Dazai ships, but specifically SKK. However, I only exclusively like bottomzai and will 100% ignore any asks that don't follow this... My apologies in advance...

[ask-beastdazai]

Boss, there's somebody claiming to be my... Future father? I don't believe it. Do you know something about it...?

Ah. It's him.

Yes, I, uh, am well aware. I'm sure he'll take care of you, when the time comes.

[tthe-white-reaper]

S- So it's true...? He really will become my father?

[ask-beastdazai]

In all the ways that matter, yes, he will.

[ask-beastdazai]

Boss, there's somebody claiming to be my... Future father? I don't believe it. Do you know something about it...?

Ah. It's him.

Yes, I, uh, am well aware. I'm sure he'll take care of you, when the time comes.

[ask-beastdazai]

I envy you.

I'm sure you would. But I envy you as well.

[nolongerthedemonprodigy]

There is nothing to envy, Dazai.

[ask-beastdazai]

Odasaku liked you, at least. Whilst mine lives and will be happy forever, you had the Lupin Bar.

[nolongerthedemonprodigy]

Short of four years is nothing. You've accomplished to do the one thing I couldn't, to trade my life for his.

[ask-beastdazai]

Perhaps, then, you should've been better. So many universes you made, and only I succeeded in saving him.

[ask-beastdazai]

I envy you.

I'm sure you would. But I envy you as well.

[nolongerthedemonprodigy]

There is nothing to envy, Dazai.

[ask-beastdazai]

Odasaku liked you, at least. Whilst mine lives and will be happy forever, you had the Lupin Bar.

[ask-beastdazai]

I envy you.

I'm sure you would. But I envy you as well.

[ask-beastdazai]

You must be the other Dazai, you seem— interesting.

Yes, I am. And, I must say, I think this world's Ranpo dresses much better than you...

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

That's how we're starting the conversation? Rude.

[ask-beastdazai]

How is a bit of fashion advice rude? And what else should I do?

I'm sure you already know the answers to any possible questions you could've asked by now, detective.

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

Duh. I just think there's better ways to start a conversation.

My world's Dazai is way cooler anyways.

Though, I'm sure you already know of him.

[ask-beastdazai]

Your Dazai is certainly a character. I owe him a lot. But I'm sure he must envy me almost as much as I do him.

Detective, would you ever be curious in coming to my world, in the Port Mafia? I think you'd like it here. Atsushi-kun could use someone with a brain on his missions.

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

Hmmm, no thanks! My loyalty lies with Fukuzawa

Though, I'd be curious to see what it's like in this version of the port mafia based on what I heard— I've only see the one Ogai shaped

[ask-beastdazai]

My version is much more efficient. And the pay is better too.

And, according to anonymous complaints, the headquarters are too cold, but that's not so important.

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

Sounds fun, what are the chances that if I agree I won't be able to leave again?

[ask-beastdazai]

Depends which contract you sign. There's some very particular fine print.

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

And if I don't sign one?

[ask-beastdazai]

Then you probably won't get paid. And you won't be able to enjoy the company's dessert buffet...

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

Woah, hold on a second. You mentioned nothing about a dessert buffet.

[ask-beastdazai]

I thought that might be convincing...

All company meals have an accompanying dessert buffet, all made fresh. I'm sure you'd enjoy it, detective, if you ever wanted to take my offer?

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

Er— damn you.

Before I answer, what are the limitations of the job? Don't lie and say there are none. Because I wanna know if I could do both the agency(My world's agency) and the port(this world's port)

[ask-beastdazai]

I'm more than happy to let you hop between both worlds. It shouldn't interfere with my goals. As for any other limitations, I'm sure they'll show up when they're relevant.

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

Aaaaand you lost me at that last part

[ask-beastdazai]

... You can have a private dessert bar in your own office?

[ask-beastdazai]

You must be the other Dazai, you seem— interesting.

Yes, I am. And, I must say, I think this world's Ranpo dresses much better than you...

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

That's how we're starting the conversation? Rude.

[ask-beastdazai]

How is a bit of fashion advice rude? And what else should I do?

I'm sure you already know the answers to any possible questions you could've asked by now, detective.

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

Duh. I just think there's better ways to start a conversation.

My world's Dazai is way cooler anyways.

Though, I'm sure you already know of him.

[ask-beastdazai]

Your Dazai is certainly a character. I owe him a lot. But I'm sure he must envy me almost as much as I do him.

Detective, would you ever be curious in coming to my world, in the Port Mafia? I think you'd like it here. Atsushi-kun could use someone with a brain on his missions.

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

Hmmm, no thanks! My loyalty lies with Fukuzawa

Though, I'd be curious to see what it's like in this version of the port mafia based on what I heard— I've only see the one Ogai shaped

[ask-beastdazai]

My version is much more efficient. And the pay is better too.

And, according to anonymous complaints, the headquarters are too cold, but that's not so important.

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

Sounds fun, what are the chances that if I agree I won't be able to leave again?

[ask-beastdazai]

Depends which contract you sign. There's some very particular fine print.

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

And if I don't sign one?

[ask-beastdazai]

Then you probably won't get paid. And you won't be able to enjoy the company's dessert buffet...

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

Woah, hold on a second. You mentioned nothing about a dessert buffet.

[ask-beastdazai]

I thought that might be convincing...

All company meals have an accompanying dessert buffet, all made fresh. I'm sure you'd enjoy it, detective, if you ever wanted to take my offer?

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

Er— damn you.

Before I answer, what are the limitations of the job? Don't lie and say there are none. Because I wanna know if I could do both the agency(My world's agency) and the port(this world's port)

[ask-beastdazai]

I'm more than happy to let you hop between both worlds. It shouldn't interfere with my goals. As for any other limitations, I'm sure they'll show up when they're relevant.

[ask-beastdazai]

"You much prettier than our zazai!"

".. Ame who are you talking to...."

That's mostly because I've not been jumping into rivers recently.

[bound-by-the-puppeteers-strings]

"Not lazy look either! But that because you in port mafia, not agency. Zazai need stay pretty or it look bad!"

[ask-beastdazai]

Don't worry, every version of myself I've ever seen has been very, very pretty.

[bound-by-the-puppeteers-strings]

"I find that hard to believe Mr port mafia Zazai, Zazai ugly sometimes"

[ask-beastdazai]

... That's a bit rude... I'm always gorgeous...

[ask-beastdazai]

You must be the other Dazai, you seem— interesting.

Yes, I am. And, I must say, I think this world's Ranpo dresses much better than you...

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

That's how we're starting the conversation? Rude.

[ask-beastdazai]

How is a bit of fashion advice rude? And what else should I do?

I'm sure you already know the answers to any possible questions you could've asked by now, detective.

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

Duh. I just think there's better ways to start a conversation.

My world's Dazai is way cooler anyways.

Though, I'm sure you already know of him.

[ask-beastdazai]

Your Dazai is certainly a character. I owe him a lot. But I'm sure he must envy me almost as much as I do him.

Detective, would you ever be curious in coming to my world, in the Port Mafia? I think you'd like it here. Atsushi-kun could use someone with a brain on his missions.

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

Hmmm, no thanks! My loyalty lies with Fukuzawa

Though, I'd be curious to see what it's like in this version of the port mafia based on what I heard— I've only see the one Ogai shaped

[ask-beastdazai]

My version is much more efficient. And the pay is better too.

And, according to anonymous complaints, the headquarters are too cold, but that's not so important.

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

Sounds fun, what are the chances that if I agree I won't be able to leave again?

[ask-beastdazai]

Depends which contract you sign. There's some very particular fine print.

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

And if I don't sign one?

[ask-beastdazai]

Then you probably won't get paid. And you won't be able to enjoy the company's dessert buffet...

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

Woah, hold on a second. You mentioned nothing about a dessert buffet.

[ask-beastdazai]

I thought that might be convincing...

All company meals have an accompanying dessert buffet, all made fresh. I'm sure you'd enjoy it, detective, if you ever wanted to take my offer?

[ask-beastdazai]

"You much prettier than our zazai!"

".. Ame who are you talking to...."

That's mostly because I've not been jumping into rivers recently.

[bound-by-the-puppeteers-strings]

"Not lazy look either! But that because you in port mafia, not agency. Zazai need stay pretty or it look bad!"

[ask-beastdazai]

Don't worry, every version of myself I've ever seen has been very, very pretty.

[ask-beastdazai]

You must be the other Dazai, you seem— interesting.

Yes, I am. And, I must say, I think this world's Ranpo dresses much better than you...

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

That's how we're starting the conversation? Rude.

[ask-beastdazai]

How is a bit of fashion advice rude? And what else should I do?

I'm sure you already know the answers to any possible questions you could've asked by now, detective.

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

Duh. I just think there's better ways to start a conversation.

My world's Dazai is way cooler anyways.

Though, I'm sure you already know of him.

[ask-beastdazai]

Your Dazai is certainly a character. I owe him a lot. But I'm sure he must envy me almost as much as I do him.

Detective, would you ever be curious in coming to my world, in the Port Mafia? I think you'd like it here. Atsushi-kun could use someone with a brain on his missions.

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

Hmmm, no thanks! My loyalty lies with Fukuzawa

Though, I'd be curious to see what it's like in this version of the port mafia based on what I heard— I've only see the one Ogai shaped

[ask-beastdazai]

My version is much more efficient. And the pay is better too.

And, according to anonymous complaints, the headquarters are too cold, but that's not so important.

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

Sounds fun, what are the chances that if I agree I won't be able to leave again?

[ask-beastdazai]

Depends which contract you sign. There's some very particular fine print.

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

And if I don't sign one?

[ask-beastdazai]

Then you probably won't get paid. And you won't be able to enjoy the company's dessert buffet...

[ask-beastdazai]

*Throws cheese at you that smacks you right in the face before running away*

...where is Chuuya? I need to have a word with him about how awful of a bodyguard he is...

[ask-beastdazai]

"You much prettier than our zazai!"

".. Ame who are you talking to...."

That's mostly because I've not been jumping into rivers recently.

[ask-beastdazai]

You must be the other Dazai, you seem— interesting.

Yes, I am. And, I must say, I think this world's Ranpo dresses much better than you...

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

That's how we're starting the conversation? Rude.

[ask-beastdazai]

How is a bit of fashion advice rude? And what else should I do?

I'm sure you already know the answers to any possible questions you could've asked by now, detective.

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

Duh. I just think there's better ways to start a conversation.

My world's Dazai is way cooler anyways.

Though, I'm sure you already know of him.

[ask-beastdazai]

Your Dazai is certainly a character. I owe him a lot. But I'm sure he must envy me almost as much as I do him.

Detective, would you ever be curious in coming to my world, in the Port Mafia? I think you'd like it here. Atsushi-kun could use someone with a brain on his missions.

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

Hmmm, no thanks! My loyalty lies with Fukuzawa

Though, I'd be curious to see what it's like in this version of the port mafia based on what I heard— I've only see the one Ogai shaped

[ask-beastdazai]

My version is much more efficient. And the pay is better too.

And, according to anonymous complaints, the headquarters are too cold, but that's not so important.

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

Sounds fun, what are the chances that if I agree I won't be able to leave again?

[ask-beastdazai]

Depends which contract you sign. There's some very particular fine print.

[ask-beastdazai]

You must be the other Dazai, you seem— interesting.

Yes, I am. And, I must say, I think this world's Ranpo dresses much better than you...

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

That's how we're starting the conversation? Rude.

[ask-beastdazai]

How is a bit of fashion advice rude? And what else should I do?

I'm sure you already know the answers to any possible questions you could've asked by now, detective.

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

Duh. I just think there's better ways to start a conversation.

My world's Dazai is way cooler anyways.

Though, I'm sure you already know of him.

[ask-beastdazai]

Your Dazai is certainly a character. I owe him a lot. But I'm sure he must envy me almost as much as I do him.

Detective, would you ever be curious in coming to my world, in the Port Mafia? I think you'd like it here. Atsushi-kun could use someone with a brain on his missions.

[thegreatestdetectiveever]

Hmmm, no thanks! My loyalty lies with Fukuzawa

Though, I'd be curious to see what it's like in this version of the port mafia based on what I heard— I've only see the one Ogai shaped

[ask-beastdazai]

My version is much more efficient. And the pay is better too.

And, according to anonymous complaints, the headquarters are too cold, but that's not so important.

[ask-beastdazai]

Boss. Can I ask for your attention...? I have a question.

What's your question, Atsushi-kun?

[tthe-white-reaper]

You're quite clever. Do you know why there is another universe that we can just... Interact with...?

[ask-beastdazai]

...

It's a funny story, Atsushi-kun. I hear it had something to do with a book.

Maybe I'll tell you one day.

[tthe-white-reaper]

So, you know about it...? Sorry- I'll stop asking.

I hope you'll tell me too. It's very confusing...

...Have you seen that you're in the Armed Detective Agency in that universe?

[ask-beastdazai]

Yes, I'm very aware of the origins of this world.

And I have seen that. He's... An interesting man. I would say I'd like him, we have things in common, but... Hm. It's unimportant.

[tthe-white-reaper]

I imagine you would. You are the same person after all.

Even I'm in the Agency too. I wonder what that could be like...

N- Not saying I'm going to leave, of course. I'm just thinking out loud. My apologies, Boss.

[ask-beastdazai]

You can't leave, Atsushi-kun. Don't bother imagining it. You're our white reaper after all.

Just stay by my side, with Kyouka-chan, okay?

[tthe-white-reaper]

I will. I could never leave her.

Or you, too... You saved my life. I know I've said it dozens of times but... Thank you. For that. I'm so, so grateful.

I will always be here when I'm needed.

[ask-beastdazai]

Hm. You're a good kid, Atsushi-kun. I'm glad I picked you up, and gave you the right home.