Bloody Hell

John Constantine. Exorcist, Demonologist, and Master of the the Dark Arts. ((ask/rp blog. *selective- closed* *texpost heavy* mod is 23. AU: personal interpretation of the character mostly inspired by the 2014 show and various Hellblazer comics. What is continuity anyway?))

[ask-rockstarjohnny]

Happy L8 B-Day wizard man!!!

How about a slice of celebratory cheese cake for the birthday boy?? ;3

🍰

"Yer more than a month late, mate. But sure, I'll take it! What kind of monster says no to free cheese cake after all?"

[ask-rockstarjohnny]

Happy birthday to our favourite rat warlock! Here, have a celebratory cupcake~ *hands it in bc I don't have cupcake emoji :(* 🎉

"Normally I'd be none too pleased about this day being brought up. But... I like jumpers and I like cake.. and now I have two cakes! So thank you."

[ask-rockstarjohnny]

Birthday boy! 🥳

[ask-rockstarjohnny]

Do you have a favorite ex?

“I don’t think it’s fair to rate me exes against eachother, they all had their ups and downs, mostly, uh... downs in the end. Whether it was a messy breakup or.. erm... death...”

[ask-rockstarjohnny]

Well, uh. A “stan” is basically a fan of someone. And OnlyFans is a place where people usually post sexy/naked pictures for money. I hope that answered your questions.

“I see... Well, it answered my questions but made me a whole lot more uncomfortable! No problems with sex work ‘n all that, but I ain’t sellin’ any pictures of me to anyone anywhere!”

[ask-rockstarjohnny]

He ain't thick. He ain't thicc. He ~thique~ ;)

".... I can't say I'm fond of any variation of this word being used to describe me."

[ask-rockstarjohnny]

you should open an onlyfans and post belly pics the stans would love it

“Three questions. One, what’s an “onlyfans”? Two, what’s a “stan”? And three, uhh... what the fuck?”

[ask-rockstarjohnny]

Hey johnio, ever done magic for a crowd?

“Never got involved in that big stage performance malarkey like Zee does, try not to draw too much attention to m’self because I’m not bloody daft. Most I’ve done is street magic for small groups, usually to scam ‘em out of some cash.”

[ask-rockstarjohnny]

I bet youve never worked retail and yknow what it shows

“What do you mean it shows? Because, I mean, I haven’t. Only really worked this whole magic gig in one way or another.”

[ask-rockstarjohnny]

So John, umm...how many exes do you have?

“Quite a few, but probably not as many as you think. Most of me past affairs were one night stands or short flings which don’t really count as exes, ya know?”

[ask-rockstarjohnny]

Unpopular opinion: u spend ur whole life gathering guests for ur funeral. Change my mind.

“What are friends if not future funeral guests anyway? Shame I tend to outlive most of them anyway.”

[ask-rockstarjohnny]

Tumblr’s unfollowing glitch keeps messing with this blog and mine for some reason. But also—maybe I’m a little bit early, but I’m already planning on my Halloween costume this year...I’m gonna be John! 😝 excited even though it means I gotta go back to my natural hair color for a while

(hell yeah! There was a few Johns for halloween last year, it’ll be cool if there’s even more this year!)

[ask-rockstarjohnny]

Mr Constatine! Mr Constatine! You are hot

"So I've been told, many times. But it's always nice to hear again~"

[ask-rockstarjohnny]

Updated my reference sheet for my version of Johnno!  

[ask-rockstarjohnny]

"Mar and I'll have to get you all prettied up like you were in your punk days, Johnny~ At least the eyeliner and the paperclip earrings. God, you'd look hil- Cute! You'd look cute. I'm sure we could find some good gear for ya! Cause, uh..." She nudged John playfully. "We both know most of your old gear probably wouldn't fit anymore, yeah?" - Esme

John frowned and rolled his eyes. "Firstly, punk ain't cute. Secondly, I reckon I could still fit into some of it! Probably... Maybe... With a bit of squeezing..."

[ask-rockstarjohnny]

Hello to our favourite dilf papa! How are the things going? We haven't heard from you for some time now!

"Dilf papa, eh? Well uh.. Thanks? Um- Anyway! 'Ello! I'm doin' good, workin' my job, seein' my girl once a month, and spendin' lots'a time with my girlfriend, Mar. Even John's not been as pesky lately. Life's good!"

[ask-rockstarjohnny]

First of all, HOW CAN YOU BE SO CUTE AND THEN ROCKY?! And Second give me a hug, this is not a request

"I'm just amazing like that, ain't I~? Cute, punk, handsome, funny, I'm the whole package! And, uh... I'd rather not be hugged against me will, ta."