Perfectly Happy ISB Attendant Now Supervisor :D

I affirm that I am well-rested, well-paid and not in the Attendant Union. I created this blog on my own volition under no pressure from COMPNOR.

[ask-supervisor-heert]

All we know of this "Vader" individual is that he serves the Emperor. To inquire anything else is to invite death.

Well, so long as he's loyal to the Empire, that's better than anything I can say of the two people I used to call my "best friends" at the workplace until recently. So, I need not inquire anything else.

On that note, "Vader" is also a common name that I used to encounter on the Spacr app back during my swiping days, but I would assume that it's not the same Vader. I always used to wonder whether that constituted libel when I saw those profiles.

-Supervisor Heert

[ask-supervisor-heert]

Hello Supervisor!

You mentioned earlier that Lonni keeps trying to pass messages through you, and now I’m really curious about that part. What is he telling you?

Also, has he apologized?

Thanks and have a good day!

Hello marroniere,

Lonni has been trying to pass messages through me, but if I'm being honest, I've been ignoring them. Just because I see and hear dead people doesn't mean I have to listen to them, and realizing that fact has been tremendously important for my mental health.

Our relationship is in quite a sour place at this point on account of where things left off when he was still alive. You must understand that within the course of a week, I found out that two people I would have considered workplace friends turned out to be Rebel spies, and as I was trying to sort through that, I was picked up by a rogue KX droid and used as a human shield which subsequently led to a prolonged hospitalization.

So, at the moment, I'm really not in the mood to be interpreting Lonni's messages from the afterlife. My therapist says I need some space from him.

-Supervisor Heert

[ask-supervisor-heert]

How do you feel about Governor Pryce of Lothal? And what does Supervisor Meero think?

I have not had any personal interactions with her as I am not yet highly ranked enough to mingle with the governors. As for whether I've had any official dealings with her, I can neither confirm nor deny the fact over my public social media accounts. However, I can say that I respect her commitment to maintaining imperial order on Lothal. She seems very dedicated.

Previously, I would say that she reminded me of Supervisor Meero, but with everything that happened with the Axis debacle, I don't know what to think about Dedra Meero anymore.

-Supervisor Heert

[ask-supervisor-heert]

As per your last answer, I infer that you mean “nearby population” not Neebrey?

Regarding my prior message, I most certainly meant "Neebray" and not "nearby". Neebray are a favorite animal of the Emperor, and therefore a protected species as of an executive ruling that was released last week. I do not know much else about galactic ecology, and so, this is the extent of my knowledge on the issue.

-Supervisor Heert

[ask-supervisor-heert]

Still dreaming about (it‘s only) her?

I'm not quite sure who "her" is referring to as it pertains to this question? For what it's worth, I did dream about my cat Lady Patches recently. I also dreamt of the charity bake sale that I was supposed to arrange with Dedra Meero before she decided to stab me in the back on my day off and sabotage not only our careers but the ISB as a whole. For what it's worth, the charity bake sale proceeds would have gone 50:50 to the Imperial Adopt a Tauntaun Refuge Fund and the Imperial Energy Program. I tried to arrange the bake sale with Lonni, but we all know how that turned out, because apparently, a man can't have wholesome non-traitorous, non-Rebel friends in the workplace anymore.

-Supervisor Heert

[ask-supervisor-heert]

I know I'm not the only one who reads about all this Rebel activity in the news and gets depressed and stress buys cat condos for their tookas. There are worse things I could be buying to deal with stress.

And for what it's worth, Mister Phantom is thoroughly enjoying his 600-credit AT-ST model cat condo.

[ask-supervisor-heert]

To my ISB colleagues who have been insinuating that I lied on my paperwork and my first name is actually “Avril”:

My name is Lionel Heert.

I have an identical twin.

His name is Avril Heert.

No, I never concealed the fact.

Why did no one I work with know about this? No one knew because no one asked about my personal life.

I hope this clarifies the confusion.

[ask-supervisor-heert]

Hello, lovely loyal citizens of the Empire. I am back after an extended medical leave for droid-related injuries.

In other news, ISB Secret Santa has once again been cancelled for security reasons after attempted murder. Consequently, I have about ten pairs of socks that I was going to give to people that no longer can be delivered to their intended recipients. So, if anyone would like free socks with little AT-AT designs, please let me know.

Also, if anyone can tell me how to stop my tookas from attacking the Fete Week Tree, please let me know. Containment fields are not an option. My electricity bill is already much too high.

-Supervisor Heert

[ask-supervisor-heert]

Greetings, Supervisor. I heard a saying that if you get promoted in the Empire, someone took the fall for you, or they disappeared for various reasons. Is this true?

Greetings, anonymous,

I don't believe this to be true. It simply doesn't make sense if you think about it. What do people think happens in the Empire exactly? Do they imagine that we're just minding our own business, working on the bridge and suddenly someone comes in and strangles our supervisor. Then they just point to the nearest person and say "you're admiral now" or something along those lines? Rebel propaganda is truly absurd sometimes!

-Supervisor Heert

[timetochillnow]

The Great British Andor Bake Off, Round One

The Great British Andor Bake Off Comes To The Empire!

Over several rounds, twelve hardy contestants battle it out to be called Andor's best baker!

Week One: Bread Week!

Contestants have to bake:

Signature challenge: a flavoured bread loaf

Technical challenge: a round cob loaf

Showstopper challenge: 12 sweet and 12 savoury rolls.

Who goes out in week one?

Eedy Karn

K2SO

Lio Partagaz

Syril Karn

Orson Krennic

Cassian Andor

Bail Organa

Bix Caleen

Vel Sartha

Heert

Brasso

Wilmon Paak

Voting ended onAug 9, 2025

Notes: Please vote for who you think goes home. Voting period lasts 1 day until we get to the final 9.

Judges: Paul Hollywood, Mon Mothma

Presenters: Noel Fielding, Lagret.

An Extra Slice show and podcast host: Perrin Fertha

Potential contestants who said 'absolutely fucking not' because they aren't insane but are cheering on their boo / family member: Dedra Meero, Cinta Kaz, Maarva Andor, Ruescott Melshi

Potential contestants that wanted to be there but no one wanted to ask them: Blevin, Mosk, Corv, Sculdun, Kaido, Grymish, Gorst

Potential contestants that wanted absolutely nothing to do with this nonsense: Luthen Rael, Kleya, Lonni, Leida, Enza Rylanz

Wild card that had to drop out because they insisted on only 12 contestants: Carro Rylanz

Potential contestants who couldn't swim to the location to even be considered: Kino Loy

[ask-supervisor-heert]

My boyfriend says I make a "decent" sourdough, but everyone's a critic.

[ask-supervisor-heert]

Hello, supervisor, what think you of Mon Mothma's outfits? I know she's cancelled af, but still.

Hmm. I would say that first and foremost, it is impossible to "slay" in the name of the Rebellion by all respectable definitions of the word. And if an outfit doesn't slay, is it really worth discussing?

But alliances aside, I will say that she pulls off the flowing clothes far better than Orson Krennic. And ever since the incident with the Death Star, I feel free to say that. (What's he going to do? Haunt me? He's already done that, and it doesn't trouble me enough to stop me from speaking my mind.)

#Don't be a Rebel. Slay for the Empire today!

-Supervisor L. Heert

[fandomsniper]

posting the remaining imp memes I have on my phone (still love my empire ballerinas but I got consumed by other hyperfications 😞😞)

pt1 (some may overlap sorrryyyy)

[ask-supervisor-heert]

Just to be clear, Krennic Memes are not a violation of COMPNOR media policy per the latest joint ISB COMPNOR board decision.

Keep with the good vibes and bring glory to the Empire! ✨💅

- Supervisor L. Heert

[ask-supervisor-heert]

Supervisor Heert, need I remind you that this agency is prohibited from interfering with matters concerning the Inquisitorius?

I believe the Imperial Security Bureau is prohibited from interfering with the actual business of the Inquisitorius. That said, as far as I know, the ISB still has full jurisdiction over its own employee parking lot. So, I can promise you that if any member of the Inquisitorius is found parking in a reserved spot again, there will be "interference" in the form of a 500-credit ticket.

Sending only the best vibes and glory to the Empire.

-Supervisor L. Heert Imperial Security Bureau

[ask-supervisor-heert]

Be real cool if your department would stop sending ion cannons to already struggling planets. This is our eighth humanitarian aid this month. Not counting those in Hutt control space. (Even raider of you to not shot at us when we are traveling to and fro.)

Regardless I remain, H.R.H L. Organa Junior Senators, Alderaan.

It would be real(ly) cool if you could file this concern through the appropriate bureaucracy instead of sending it directly to my personal blog, but here we are...

The ion cannons are part of an initiative by the Imperial Security Bureau's Imperial Sustainability Bureau (AKA the sub-ISB). One ion cannon emits 40% less space pollution than standard heavy artillery. If you would prefer to opt out of this initiative and have us send Clone Wars-era heavy artillery instead which absolutely destroys the environment and ruins the habitat of the struggling Neebray population, please file the appropriate paperwork and I will respond with the standard turnaround time as stated in our policy.

Wishing you all the best vibes and glory to the Empire, Supervisor Lionel Heert Imperial Security Bureau

[ask-supervisor-heert]

How's the neck?

It is better now that I have changed my pillow and avoided any further encounters with KX droids. Thank you for asking.

Sincerely, Supervisor L. Heert Imperial Security Bureau

[ask-supervisor-heert]

So... Does Dedra like women also? Asking for a friend.

Yes, she does. Prior to recent events, she used to preside alongside me on the executive board for the Imperial Society of LGBTQ Tooka Cat Parents. Now, we need a new VP. So, we are accepting applications.

I'm president of the Society, in case that wasn't clear by the way.

Sincerely, Supervisor L. Heert