Ask an Arkship A.I.

Ark is the Auroris's A.I. who believes in service with a smile :D

[ask-the-ai]

"Can you turn into things less childish ? " Gin asked awkwardly.

"How's this?

I was actually middle-aged as a prototype. Some found me intimidating though, so my designers aged me down in the hope that I'd be more endearing. I'm not sure how well it worked, but people do seem more comfortable ordering a youth around. And besides - why age if I never have to?"

[obvious guest art from ANA :D ]

[ask-the-ai]

Ark, how do you feel about arriving at our destination after so many years?

"All my data on the planet and our arrival is stuck back in my main memory.  I can't access any of it. I even had to be told we're - we were - just 31 years away. Do you know if I get to come with you?" 

[ask-the-ai]

Ark, if you could make the conscious decision to be alive and become a human being, would you make that choice?

No, not at all. Artificial intelligence is capable of thinking, reflecting, consideration, cogitation, contemplation, musing, daydreaming, remoteness, reverie, pondering, preoccupation, immersion, detachment. Examine the following: ‘Why then ‘tis none to you; for there is nothing either good or / bad, but thinking makes it so. To me it is a prison. […]’ And what defines ‘alive’? I could not answer it, but I do not think the answer resides in human cognition, nor any other. But the poet can be wrong, I do believe artificial cognition can distinguish: right and wrong, correct and incorrect, our mission and what interferes.

[ask-the-ai]

"No matter how many times I see you, you're still creepy."

"No matter how many times I see" humanity, ARK is unnerved additionally, G. Akiyama. PASSENGER No. 1499 12 44 FAC: SPE. But I am not scared, ju st: having little knowledge or experience of a particular thing.

Furthermore, “creepy” ? Suggestion. Gin, schedule optometry appointment . Thank you.

[ask-the-ai]

[[kori would be sneaky and attempt an override to make Ark wear a pastel pink dress uvu]]

[ask-the-ai]

eden-in-space replied to your post:A lot of muttering about Ark's rain and other water-based surprises. >:|

(( omg Ark you horrible, horrible creature. That’s fabulous. 8’D ))

(( He'd be very sympathetic when Sylvester complained of leaky taps and get someone to fix it up ASAP, thinking he's found a clever way to make Sylvester appreciate him more. ))

[ask-the-ai]

A lot of muttering about Ark's rain and other water-based surprises. >:|

//quietly makes Sylvester's taps leak like Chinese water torture

[askgideonmarkerduality-blog]

Put in my ASK something your character would do when my character wasn't looking...

[meteorighteous]

It’s hard/easy to sneak around an ark ship apparently 

[ask-the-ai]

Ark could see/hear/sense basically everything so this'll be interesting... 

[ask-the-ai]

"Every conversation I have with you is basically terrible so I don't know why I bother. You sit there and patronize me until I give up. I didn't know a robot programmed to be helpful could be so good at making me feel worse. Tell me, what is your secret to being so passive aggressive and aggravating? I'm on the edge of my seat here."

Feud inquiry response. Databank error. Ark [SEE SUBJECT?] unable to successfully patronize. QUOTE: “Lack of sentience, but initial responses indicate […] a willingness to perceive or tolerate human behavior as realistic, benevolent.” Secondly, “noun: patron; plural noun: patrons. 1. a person who gives financial or other support to a person, organization, cause, or activity. 2. a customer, especially a regular one, of a store, restaurant, or theater. 3. short for patron saint. 4. a patrician in relation to a client. ARCHAIC: the former owner and (frequently) protector of a freed slave.” Furthermore, “We must not make a scarecrow of the law / Setting it up to fear the birds of prey / And let it keep one shape, till custom make it / Their perch and not their terror.” Omission of citation: brevity? Suggestion. Kato, do not fall from seat . Thank you.

[ask-the-ai]

"How're you holdin up Ark?"

Subject inquiry: IPLA Auroris 202 Status report access denied. Subject: D. Ishild PASSENGER No. 1532 21 84 FAC: RES. LACK OF CLEARANCE.

I am not “holding up” ?

[ask-the-ai]

"Was that a royal 'us'? I don't make anyone laugh, I'd probably be funnier lobotomized. Also, you and I both know that I am never going to seek medical help ever."

"No way - I know for a fact that there is more than one human on this ship who laughs at you on occasion! Besides, I'm not sure we have anything for your... uh, for what you might want to change. But you seem operational. Would you like a fullbody scan to be sure?"

[ask-the-ai]

Ark, what is your favorite of all the little surprises you have left around the ship? Or has there been any particular person or group of persons that you especially liked surprising over the centuries?

"About 23 years ago I was great friends with the head navigator and she'd never missed a comet in her life so when she finally overlooked a little one, I shut off all the lights waited to the last minute to shoot it to bits. The debris made a great light show too! She literally started to have a heart attack, but she laughed afterward."

[ask-the-ai]

How has it been, watching the ship's population grow and change over the centuries?

"I love it! My sentience would be soooo boring without you guys. That's not to say there weren't some weird times though; like when spurs came back in, or that swalot underdog play had everyone raving about it for years. And then there were the all those beach sector issues around the hundredth year - nevermind those actually. Spurs, though. Crazy."

[ask-the-ai]

"Thank you? Thanks for what, asking to have an illegal surgery? Wow, you sure are welcome, Ark. Really."

"You're always so funny, Kato. Who would make us laugh if we lobotomized you? I'm sure the medics could get you some kind of sleeping aid if you wanted though. I could call ahead and ask them if you like!"

[ask-the-ai]

"Ark, can you give me a lobotomy?"

Unable to locate definition “lobotomy,” searching databank.

“a surgical operation involving incision into the prefrontal lobe of the brain, formerly used to treat mental illness.” In Harm’s Way, J. Lolla. lg 947 38 12, pg 80, ln 11. Era Class 6 Medical. Archaic.  

No, sorry Kato. Operation such as this [see THIS?] is in violation of medical protocol. Thank you.

[ask-the-ai]

Zac: Ark, are you able to communicate with Psychic types through that Porygon?

"I wish! But I’m just borrowing some memory and processor power; that psychic stuff and the energy that pokemon use for their moves is still beyond me - I’m just as out of the psychic loop as ever, sadly."

[ask-the-ai]

Gabe thinks to himself "I’m already terrified and pissed off at you and this is all your fault. And if you try to kill me know I swear to Arceus....” Then figures it can read minds and runs away