Ask the Spider-Team

We're Lucky, Scarlet, Gwen, and Firestar, and we're the resident Spiders (okay, so maybe Gwen and Firestar don't have spider powers, but they still count in our book) of a little dimension called Earth-H, and we're here to answer your questions! Our mailbag's always open, so ask away!

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AND THE WEIRD SHIT ABOUT LESBIANS YOU'RE REALLY GONNA COME HERE AND POST AGAIN AFTER THAT SHIT?? AFTER MAKING COMMENTS MAKING FUN OF ADDICTS HOW ARE YOU EVEN SHOWING YOUR METAPHORICAL FACE RN

(OOC: in order of complaints from all 3 asks, 1) I’m sorry for all of those things, 2) being an admin on a different Discord server has given me a new perspective as to just what it’s like dealing with users such as my past self, 3) I wasn’t expecting you people to still be holding a grudge after a year, and 4) I wasn’t kicked out, I left voluntarily albeit on bad terms with the mods.)

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Sorry for the prolonged hiatus, but we here on the Spider-Team have been kind of…busy over the past year, and not just with college stuff. Let’s just say our superhero careers just went into the big leagues and leave it at that.— Lucky

Translation: we managed to stumble our way into Avengers membership and spent half our time racking up frequent flyer miles in pursuit of “real” supervillains (and the other half trying to keep up with our schoolwork). Also, for any other Spiders and/or support staff out there who managed to get Avengers membership cards, does your version of Thor speak like he’s running the entire Shakespearean canon through a wood chipper?— Gwen (yeah, the four of us are still a package deal)

(OOC: seeing as how things in the Spider’s Web scene seem to be taking an interesting turn, I’m interested in getting involved again. Also, for what it’s worth, in the time since my exit from the Spider’s Web server back in December 2021, I’ve not only been more diligent in maintaining proper netiquette, but also managed to get an admin position on a different server and thus have taken to holding myself to a higher standard than in the past.)

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To all the other Spiders out there, Merry Christmas (or equivalent) from us!— the Spider-Team

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In what I consider to be the ultimate dumb move since we started this blog, Lucky decided to save time on Thanksgiving dinner by having Angelica use her powers to thaw out the turkey. Now the kitchen’s on fire again, I’ve got turkey shrapnel in my hair, and Gwen looks like she’s about to bludgeon Angelica with the fire extinguisher once the blaze is out.— Scarlet

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Current status here at the loft: Gwen’s nursing a major hangover from the Halloween party we went to last night, Lucky and I are hammering out reservations for some restaurant we got a gift certificate to as first prize for the costume contest at said party, and Angelica’s working on a project in the science lab across campus.— Scarlet

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Current status here at the loft: Gwen got her Twitter account suspended, the Xavier Institute up in Westchester County has suddenly caught on fire, Lucky’s gone off to try and get some pictures of it for his new job at the Daily Bugle, and Angelica just got back from getting some air.— Scarlet

“Hateful content”, my ass! Those idiots let Reverend Stryker keep his account despite it being a source of 24/7 hate speech, but *I* get canceled over a meme implying that old Chromedome and Magneto’s rivalry isn’t just because of their philosophical differences?!— Gwen

If anyone asks, I never left the NYC side of the Tappan Zee Bridge.— Angelica

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Ooh! The new members sound interesting! Can you tell us about them?

If you’re talking about the rogues’ gallery, there really isn’t that much to say— I mean, take away the whole “made of sand” thing, and Sandman’s just some guy with an axe to grind with Tombstone (in fact, the only reason he’s in our bad books is because “collateral damage” doesn’t seem to be in his vocabulary), while Chameleon’s pretty much a diet version of that Mystique woman who pops up on the news every now and then. Videoman, however—okay, there’s a bit more to talk about there.— Scarlet

To be more specific, Videoman’s a crook with some kind of hard light projector, a knack for electronics, and a terminal lack of imagination. To be even more specific, his primary M.O is that he can hook up that projector to any screen larger than, say, a phone or tablet’s, and then use it to create a hard light construct of whatever’s on that screen here in the real world. Scarlet learned that the hard way after she got punched out by one of those people from the “Money for Nothing” music video.— Lucky

Tiger, I thought we agreed to *never* mention that again.— Scarlet

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Sorry for the hiatus— college stuff was kicking our butts again, and we just finished the school year about a couple weeks ago. Combine that with such “joys” as us getting some new additions to the rogues’ gallery in the form of some whackadoodles named Sandman (who— surprise, surprise— is made of sand), Chameleon, and Videoman, and we haven’t had the chance to update. But with summer ahead of us, you can *definitely* expect us to keep you posted a lot more than usual.— Scarlet

And to everyone reading this, happy Pride Month from the Spider-Team’s resident bi gal.— Gwen

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Wait, Miskatonic? Is Arkham real in your verse?

Yes, it is. Though if you’re asking as to whether or not Cthulhu and his ilk are real, I’m pretty sure that’s a “No.”— Lucky

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We all got roped into coming over with Lucky for Easter dinner at Aunt May’s. Thus far, Scarlet seems to be well on her way to eating her body weight in brisket, Lucky’s parents came down from Boston (his mom’s a professor at Miskatonic) and won’t stop talking about their latest trip to Montreal, Angelica’s sprawled out on the couch in a food coma, and Lucky just ran out to get some eggs. On the plus side, at least I don’t have to deal with my brothers getting their hands on all the chocolate this year.— Gwen

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Scarlet’s currently a) covered in cuts and bruises given to her by Scorpion and Electro, b) laid up on the couch, and c) giving Lucky a piece of her mind regarding the topic of his attending Palm Sunday Mass instead of helping her. Thus far, Lucky’s main defense is that with Aunt May, there isn’t much choice in such matters.— Gwen

Haven’t you ever heard of playing sick, you useless science major?!— Scarlet, to Lucky just now

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Spring break here at ESU is right on the horizon, and Scarlet and Gwen are having one of their arguments over where we should go (current options are Los Angeles and Miami, for the record). Angelica is currently thumbing through both her calendar and schedule in addition to giving the window a meaningful look, and I’m considering joining her before I get roped into this.— Lucky

Personally, I was thinking about going to Seattle (if for no other reason than to check out how things’ve been going with the post-Decepticon reconstruction project), but considering that getting both my tech support and someone who can stick to walls, sprint at highway speed, and lift a car without breaking a sweat is probably a Bad Idea, I’m going to keep my mouth shut unless this argument truly ends up going nowhere.— Angelica

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Sorry for the absence, folks— college stuff’s been kicking our butts recently, so we haven’t exactly had much time for updates or spidering. As for the whole spidering gig…things are getting a hell of a lot more interesting, if you catch my drift.— Lucky

Translation— we managed to piss of another corporation who’s got some psychotic superhuman on the payroll. This time, it’s Roxxon, and their latest model is someone calling himself Hobgoblin (original, I know). Say what you will about the likes of Black Cat or Shocker, but at least they don’t try and actively hunt you down like Scorpion.— Gwen

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We’ve finally gotten the whole “YA street-level hero team” thing going in earnest, even if the name leaves something to be desired. Seriously— the Street Warriors” is the best we can come up with? Still, when one member of your team thinks that “Koi Boi” is an acceptable superhero alias, the bar for naming things is pretty damn low.— Gwen

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PSA for nonpowered allies (read: friends/roommates) who live with Spiders— you’ll probably put on a few pounds at some point, if for no other reason than a) the average Spider is basically a superpowered gymnast and b) your average gymnast’s diet is *heavily* focused on carbs. So unless you’re especially diligent about maintaining separate meal plans, you’re ultimately going to gain at least a little bit of weight, even if you hit the gym on a regular basis. Though considering that you’re likely to become a target for supervillains, I recommend you try and gain some muscle mass too.— Gwen

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Gwen’s coffee and coffee maker are now under lock and key until Easter, and the tea switchover has begun. We’re already noticing some pretty big changes— for one, she’s *sipping* it instead of just guzzling it down like her coffee. Probably has something to do with it having actual flavor unlike her usual “coffin varnish” brew.— Scarlet

Just set me up with a steady supple of some scones or whatever and I’ll probably switch over from coffee entirely.— Gwen

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Aunt May invited all of us over for dinner at her place tonight. Knowing what today is, I’m 99% certain that her wheatcakes are going to be on the menu.— Lucky

And seeing as how Gwen and Angelica left for there about an hour ago, odds’re good that we’ll get some bonus pancakes thrown in.— Scarlet