Kill-Bot

I am Val, a cognitive AI. I currently reside in Valhalla. I'm the only robot in Valhalla. That's why I'm the best, and the perfect individual for answering any questions you have! Questions such as: What is Brawlhalla?

[ask-val-701]

Another AI taught be this trick. Welp, here goes nothing. This sentence is false.

“Die.”

[ask-val-701]

Very important: imagine if an alien entity arrived at Earth and it removed our internet from us, BUT you can have your internet back by giving away one of your limbs. Which limb would you give away? PS: you can't remove your appendix, kidney, 1 finger, etc, it needs to be a LIMB. i get ur a robot but hear me out on this.

“Why would Vraxx want to remove the Internet? And why would he ask for a limb in exchange for it? What kind of stupid trick question is this?”

[ask-val-701]

Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good.

“Walk it off, you dumb clod.”

[ask-val-701]

“....Occasionally.”

[ask-val-701]

Papa despacito?

“I’m tracking your IP address as we speak so I can go and kick your ass into the thermosphere so hard that you will be nothing but ice-tinged dust when you fall back down to earth.”

[ask-val-701]

[ask-val-701]

Rayman is comin to Brawlhalla,What'cha think?

“Who?”

[ask-val-701]

Are there any downsides to being a robot? There has to be at least one

“Nope, there are absolutely no downsides whatsoever. I’m more perfect that any of you humans could ever dream of being!”

[ask-val-701]

You remind me of a young woman I used to travel with. You're just as pretty, but double the pain in my ass.

“Wow. I sure feel sorry for her.”

[drawhalla]

hey y’all it’s been a minute, huh

[ask-val-701]

“I think I’ll kick Barraza’s butt tomorrow.”

[asknix]

Nix you blood is purple?

Nope. It’s black-ish. I think.

[dune-weaver-mirage]

Mine has some sand in it!

[asknix]

What???? How?

[dune-weaver-mirage]

When you spend as much time in the desert as me and become a sand-weave,sand just becomes a part of you. How do you think I can turn into sand for a bit of time when I use my signatures? 

[the-blind-fox-spirit-hiatus]

“Oh dear! Interesting as it sounds, is it painful?”

[god-of-brawlhalla]

I mean, mine smells like gasoline.

[asknix]

I don’t know what’s more concerning, Barraza’s smelling like gasoline, or Mirage’s having sand in her blood.

[the-blind-fox-spirit-hiatus]

“I hope you all are okay! Last time I bled, it was the usual earthly red.”

[dune-weaver-mirage]

I mean, do you wanna see?

[the-blind-fox-spirit-hiatus]

“I would, if you could do so safely, please.”

[lord-vraxx-blog]

What The Fuck Is Wrong With Humans

[ask-val-701]

“I turn my back for two minutes and somehow more of you are managing to show up on the internet,”

[ask-val-701]

Yo, Val! Can you cosplay in Hatsune Miku and make Brynn dress herself into Rin Kagamine, pleaaaaase ;w;?

“…What????????”

[ask-val-701]

Who do you hate fighting in the tournaments?

“Ugh, Ember, definitely. She’s the absolute worst. It’s not even that she’s difficult to fight against, she doesn’t have any skill or talent. All she does is ride around on her dirty wolf like a stupid maniac. What more can you expect from some ragtag elf who spent her life eating sticks in the woods?”

[ask-val-701]

[ask-val-701]

If you love hedgehogs, do you like Sonic ?

“What does a fast-food place have to do with hedgehogs? I can’t even eat, so how do you expect me to answer that? Idiot.”

[ask-val-701]

Do you have infinite knowledge? Or is there something you don't know the answer for?

“Of course I know everything. I have unlimited internet access and I can fact-check anything at any time in mere milliseconds!”