Ask Amy.

People are forever asking for my advice. Well, that is they put questions on yahoo answers, which is the same thing as asking for my advice right? Sometimes my advice is insightful, sometimes it's sarcastic, sometimes it's trolling. BTW my friends DO ask advice too. So ask away. Be prepared to take a risk....

[askamy80]

If someone ignores you should you block them?

No that’s no fun. Kill them? Or just post photos of you at an orgy so they see them block them?

[showerthoughtsofficial]

There are people still It from tag when they were a kid

[askamy80]

Well fuck. True. I better go tag someone.

[askamy80]

How do I make my dick bigger coz my g/f says its to small

Eh get a new girlfriend. Tell that ho her vag is too big!

Amy

[askamy80]

I met a guy on tinder but now I’ve seen he’s on oasis. Do I tell him I saw his profile and know he’s there?

Yes. I would. I believe in trust and honesty and if you spend your time worrying about it honestly it will drive you crazy. It also depends on what you mean by met a guy? Like have been talking to him/planning to meet/seeing him/in a relationship? Either way yes. If it was me I’d bring it up because it would do my head in. Sometimes even though the truth hurts it’s better to know. Good luck.

Amy.

[askamy80]

If I’ve jerked off and have fun on my hands then wipe it unknowingly on a girl am I raping her?

Uhhh what?

Okay it’s rare I’m lost for words but fuck.

I’m guessing this depends on whether or not you intended to rub cum (I’m guessing that’s what you mean by fun) on her or not and where you rubbed it.

Still: wtaf?

Amy

[askamy80]

If my gf farts during sex should I dump her

You could. But I suspect girls aren’t lining up to have sex with you so why dump the only one who is? 🤷‍♀️

Amy

[okay]

when u sent an important message to the wrong person

[askamy80]

Oh like I haven’t ever done this. I managed it last night. Then there’s the accidental screenshot message and typical girl chat that goes to guys who probably think we are insane. (Sidebote: we are.)

[askamy80]

Is there such thing as police cars?

Ummm yes?

Amy.

[thechaotictrickster]

Hey can the Cards Against Humanity people see if they can run tumblr please?

[thechaotictrickster]

THIS HAS MORE THAN 400 NOTES WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK??

[frogsfloattoo]

Why doesn’t thid have MORE notes?

[phantomspade]

I can’t tell who’s gaud anymore

[thechaotictrickster]

@tylercherry81 Gaudapocalypse

[showerthoughtsofficial]

It’s entirely possible that two random people on the internet have had a friendly conversation on one forum and later an aggressive hateful conversation on another forum, without ever knowing of their previous wholesome interaction.

[askamy80]

How do I get rid of dads girlfriend? She's mean to me and my little sister, she controls everything and Dad lets her, she grounds me for no real reason, and makes us do heaps of chores. She's like the wicked stepmother in a fairy tale.

Murder. May I be so bold as to suggest poison, dismemberment, then a mine shaft or try feeding them to a pig? I have a pig and those buggers eat everything. Feel free to feed him to Tony- it’ll save me on food.

Amy

[askamy80]

Is it legal for my boss to say no to me for a job because I'm a pre-op transsexual?

No. Totally and utterly illegal under HREOC. You can take it further either with them or perhaps fair work, though I’d go with the former as the latter are a bit of a toothless tiger legally speaking.

Amy

[askamy80]

When a man says he will wait for u after u break ur leg will he? As he's been very quiet wit me and new facey friend he always talks to on there. I turned down a guy who coulda been a potential partner for Luke but did I make a mistake? Do men really wait when they say they do?

Honestly it depends on the guy. But many men are cunts. Just ask him. If he’s got balls he will tell you the truth.

Good luck.

Amy

[askamy80]

So my mom just got remarried & turns out I had slept with my new stepbro. Would it b illegal to sleep with him again? I really want him. He's like my dream guy. I've had crush on him since I was like12. I'm 16 almost 17 now.

Nah, get in there. Totes legal. Maybe people might look at you weird but hey if he’s good enough to go back for seconds why not? Let’s be honest most guys think they’re better than they actually are.

Amy

[askamy80]

I think my BF is cheating on me. He even had a hickey but had a crazy explanation for it. I asked him and he said I was tripping. But a woman knows. There are a number of things including him hiding texts and calls from me, saying he's at the gym but not coming home like he has been, jumping straight in a shower, said he was at a friends but his friends wife later said he wasn't. So what do I do?

Yeah I get this- we do know. It’s easy to get that gut feeling. I’d love to say stalk him or kill him but honestly just totally have it out with him. It will suck- believe me I know that feeling all too well- but I’d rather honesty than living a lie. Good luck!

Amy.

[askamy80]

Could Jurassic park happen IRL?

I fucking hope so. I’ve got a long list of fuckers I would happily feed to the dinosaurs, starting with someone I hadn’t ever contemplated needing a major painful death. He has gone to the top of the list the past 7 days.

Amy.

[askamy80]

If you had been having sex with an AFL footy star would you tell anyone? I have had a few photos on Insta but got abussd by fans so took them down. I could use that came to kick start my model career but is that bad taste. Also he tells me that he isn't quite ready to have a g/f yet but we are getting closer to that point as I have met his mates and his mum and he met my friends and family. But if I use that fame I may lose him but my dream has always been to be miss world for Australia.

Uh let me think. If I was having sex with say the hot as fuck Dusty Martin i would be shouting it from the rooftops. No, in truth I wouldn’t. I would tell all my facey friends but not the whole world. (Fun fact: I once got the phone number of a very well known afl player for Collingwood at a pub last year, it’s still in my phone. He texted me to prove it was really him.) If he’s not comfy with it then it’s not something you should do. I mean if the situations were reversed would you want him to use you for fame?

Amy.