Ask A Radfem

This blog exists to bridge a gap between people with honest questions about radical feminism, and radical feminists with something to say. The answers provided herein are purely the opinions of the radical feminist answering the question, and not reflective of the entire team.

[askaradfem]

*** NOTICE ***

Hi. Neo here. I’ve decided to leave AARF for a multitude of reasons. For one, receiving nothing from the other mods in terms of contact and general lack of assistance running this blog. Also, this year is my GCSE year, and I’m running out of time to manage a blog as large as this. 

This does not mean that I no longer hold my views/values.

I am tired of seeing messages in the inbox either insulting my age (as if it affects my ability to think critically) or my tone. Hell, sometimes my autism or general mental health. I came to this blog hoping to answer genuine questions. Maybe I was misguided and naive, but since this blog’s mods have disappeared, I have felt so alone. I’m sure they have good reason but it does not change the fact that I am leaving.

—Mod Neo

[askaradfem]

Why are people hellbent on misunderstanding you lmao Maybe they just wanna stay in their own little bubble where they are always right

Idk some people just don’t wanna learn lmao.

—Mod Neo

[askaradfem]

So according to trans logic, I a biological female, could "feel like a guy" have sex with a gold star lesbian (without telling her I'm really a guy, and my vagina is secretly a penis) and that would take away her gold star, because now she slept with man?

According to the trans cult yeah lol.

—Mod Neo

[askaradfem]

Hey there, could you explain why you don't include transwomen in the feminist movement?

Because they are male I’m repeating myself far too often for you anons.

—Mod Neo

[askaradfem]

What do you think is the origin of male violence? Is it social or does it have a biological component also (hormones, genes etc)? If it is biological, what can men do about it?

That’s a hard question, and the answer from me is: I don’t know. However, I do highly HIGHLY doubt that biology makes males more violent. Seems like such a cop-out.

—Mod Neo

[askaradfem]

After reading several pages on this blog (which is very informative btw) I'm still a little confused on what exactly the difference between sex and gender is. This may be in part because English is my third language, and my native tongue doesn't have two different words for gender and sex. So can you please spell out for me, as simply as possible, what exactly the difference is between sex and gender?

Sure thing! It confuses lots of people, even native English-speakers because they are often used interchangeably.

Sex: whether someone is male, female, or has an intersex condition (i.e. if you have XX chromosomes, a vagina, a uterus, fallopian tubes, blah blah or if you have XY chromosomes, a penis, testicles, yada yada or [insert every variety of intersex condition here], etc.) 99% of the time, it is clear and it’s 100% unchangeable. 

Gender: what people often call “gender roles” (they mean the same thing). It’s what society imposes on you the second your sex is known. It’s arbitrary, varies across cultures, and has no basis in fact or biology, but it always subordinates women.

Basic examples:

“Boys like blue, girls like pink!”

“No Sally science is for boys, go play with you kitchen set.”

“Boys will be boys!”

“The wage gap is because women work less hours!”

The huge differences between men and women’s clothing (e.g. high heels vs flat brogues).

If anything is unclear please message us!

—Mod Neo

[askaradfem]

Will you be voting for Bernie next year? I think as feminist's we have a duty to further the cause of women, but i don't think just voting Hillary is right, she's clearly just a member of the 'good old boys network' and doesn't care about women! Bernie on the other hand has stood for the same rights all the way through his career, gay rights, women's rights etc: so even though he's a man, will you be voting for him? As a feminist i sure will!

Well I’m neither from the U.S.A. nor old enough to vote, but I agree that Hillary isn’t the person to vote for. Bernie is my current fav to win.

—Mod Neo

[askaradfem]

if gender is an imposition from society (i became a woman since my vagina was detected on my birth), how come trans people exist?

Dysphoria is a condition that some people choose to treat with surgery and hormones so... trans people will exist as long as sex dysphoria exists.

—Mod Neo

[askaradfem]

Hi there, I stumbled across your blog and I just wanted to make it clear that trans people do not 'choose' to be any gender. Other people try to choose for us, and it's not our fault that sometimes they get it wrong. Feminism should be for all women, and that includes transwomen.

Gender is imposed on you by society. We’ve never said that people choose gender. People can choose to transition/be pressured into it but that is not the same. Trans women are male and feminism is for females so no, they don’t belong.

—Mod Neo

[askaradfem]

Do you think Feminism would benefit from a centralized doctrine or agenda? There seems to be lots of infighting. Sorry if this is a repeat ask.

No I completely agree! I hate the infighting as much as the next woman but centralizing stuff could prove difficult.

—Mod Neo

[askaradfem]

but trans men are men. thats why they're called trans MEN. (hey look i can capitalise words too!!)

Sex and gender are not the same. While they are often consistent they are not identical.

—Mod Neo

[askaradfem]

Im sorry why do you keep calling trans men female and trans wonen male like if you wanna be biologically correct do your thing but its offending??? Its rude??

We’re discussing facts not feelings here. Sorry that offends you.

—Mod Neo

[askaradfem]

What sexuality would you say a trans man who exclusive likes females has?

Well they’re a gay female but calling them lesbians would almost certainly be extremely triggering (especially if they’ve transitioned). 

—Mod Neo 

[nosequeescribirblah]

“I don’t want you being who you are cause it bothers me” Feminist entitlement is rampant in our society

[askaradfem]

I meant that it would be triggering for a trans man to call themselves a lesbian but hey it’s obvs just the big mean feminists talking.

—Mod Neo

[askaradfem]

Radfems never answer my question.. they all wanna talk shit about the dd/lg kink. But i am a mommy, who is the top. With a man as my submissive. Its never talked about I'm curious. Because i do believe alot in the radfem movement

What you asking? Because you’re sexualizing pedophilia and that’s gross and you should stop immediately. It isn’t made better by the fact that your ‘sub’ is a man.

—Mod Neo

[askaradfem]

I generally align myself with rad fems and have even started to refer to myself as one, but one thing that I don't understand is why the term 'cis' is so controversial. I thought it was just a label for someone who identified as the gender that corresponded with their sex, but it seems that rad fems have taken it as an insult. Am I missing something?

Okay well first off you have to realize that gender is not something you can identify as or with; it is placed on you by society. My sex is female and society says that because I am female I must be placed in inferior caste of ‘woman’. I do not “identify” with gender (no one does). You can identify with stereotypes but that changes nothing. I thought it was chill in the beginning as well (saying you’re ‘cis’ so as to not other trans people or call yourself normal because it’s rude) but I grew out of it like every other radfem.

—Mod Neo

[askaradfem]

What about countries like mine where we only have one word- Gender and sex is the same word here. So we can't really say "yeah but gender and sex are different things"

The constraints of language are pretty sucky and I suppose discourse will have to based around that. Or make words to describe it.

—Mod Neo

[askaradfem]

Why do you think trans men are female? They're male. Just like how trans women are female.

If trans men were male they wouldn’t be trans? They’re female; that’s what makes them TRANS men. And vice versa for trans women. Not hard.

—Mod Neo

[transmed-amethyst]

I’m not female stop misgendering people

[askaradfem]

Female isn’t a gender, it is a sex. You cannot change your sex, ever. Trans men are female because if they were male they wouldn’t be trans.

—Mod Neo

[naturalblueflame]

I agree. You can identify as woman or man because they’re social constructs based on sex and sex is just chromosomes. It’s you at birth but that doesn’t mean that you cannot be a woman or a man in any sense of the word.

[askaradfem]

You cannot “identify” as a man or woman because those things are not identities. I am a woman because I am female. A man is a man because he is male. You cannot “identify” into a sex.

—Mod Neo