Ask Bart Literally Anything!

(Unofficial) Bart ask blog / Tftsd

[askbartanything]

Bartholomew Finn here! You can just call me Bart, though! Feel free to ask me anything!

((Edit: Purple Text is the blog runner, and any purple text is ooc <3))

[askbartanything]

(OOC)

Oh yeah I got you back too. That’s cool lol

[ask-gumgum]

my dude, your mom is a god and your father tried to kill her

*blinks* What does this mean?

[askbartanything]

AH— *covers gum gum’s ears* That’s a weird joke that I don’t think Gum Gum really needs to hear, anon.

[ask-gumgum]

gum-gum… it’s me… your dad…

DAD?? BART ITS MY DAD! @askbartanything

[askbartanything]

Gum Gum I’d uh… take that with some caution but if it’s really him, congrats buddy! 👍

[askbartanything]

(A FACT ABOUT CANNIBALISM BY THE WAY): Mothers would actually eat their own placentas, btw

Also, I have heard of Hugh Manner! Great guy. Terrible dad. Wait, hey! I’m supposed to be asking the questions!

Anyway, why does it matter if self-cannibalism is unhealthy? Drinking too much is unhealthy, yet Dr Ahem does it and I don’t remember any of you judging too much

Hugh is not a good— whatever.

You know what? I’m not gonna yuck your yum. You do you I guess—

[askbartanything]

What does being an infinight have to do with anything?! Ah well, i’ll just ask another question.

How do you feel about self-cannibalism?

I knew a cannibal once. Not a pleasant experience. Self Cannibal though? I uh.. don’t think that’s healthy.

Hey— random question but do you happen to know a guy named Hugh Männer? Maybe?

[askbartanything]

IT’S A VERY INNOCENT QUESTION, BART. WHY WON’T YOU CHOOSE TO ANSWER?? >:(

I have the right to remain silent. I think? Idk. Also I’m an infinight and you’re not so—

[askbartanything]

You have been attacked by this random person so I give you a gum gum checkpoint

🧡

[askbartanything]

Ah, great! Honestly, I *love* fish. Where are your dads, btw? Just relaxing in Tetorah?

I plead the fifth I plead the fifth I plead the fifth I plead the fifth I plead the fifth I plead the fifth I plead the fifth I plead the fifth I plead the fifth I plead the fifth I ple—

[askbartanything]

I’ll make sure to set Euph and Bezzler up for a nice little date before you do that. Unless you know any other lawyers of course. Eh whatever, what am I talking about?

Perhaps dragon meat would taste like fish or chicken… do you like fish or chicken? :D

I mean… I ate fish for a while on the Jebbodiah so I guess fish is okay tasting.

((Fun fact! I, the blog runner, despise fish because of a texture thing))

[askbartanything]

How has being with your dads been?

It’s been great! I never even knew I had them!

It’s like a net gain of +4! Because I used to think they were dead, so I was at -2 parents. Then I found my dads, so then I had 2 parents and since the parent counter is at 2, it’s really +4 gain!!

[askbartanything]

@askingkyborg loser

[askbartanything]

Dragonfruit … i guess that makes sense but hmmm….

Great! That’ll do just fine. Oh btw, what do you think dragonborns taste like? I know humans taste like pork, but how about dragons? :)

Uh.. UH— I want to invoke the fifth and get a lawyer

[askbartanything]

How do you feel about the period of your life that most people will remember you for being complete?

Wait what?

<< Psst. Hey, blog runner here! This blog takes place during arc 7! It’s not quite over yet for him :) >>

[askbartanything]

How has being with your dads been?

It’s been great! I never even knew I had them!

It’s like a net gain of +4! Because I used to think they were dead, so I was at -2 parents. Then I found my dads, so then I had 2 parents and since the parent counter is at 2, it’s really +4 gain!!

[askbartanything]

I see! Well, fruit tarts are wonderful! Say, if you were a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be? :)

I am a fruit 🏳️‍🌈

Eh but probably like… I don’t know dragon fruit?

[duckies27]

I see what you did there

Cuz

Cuz he's half dragon borne

[askbartanything]

((You get it *finger guns*))

[askbartanything]

I see! Well, fruit tarts are wonderful! Say, if you were a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be? :)

I am a fruit 🏳️‍🌈

Eh but probably like… I don’t know dragon fruit?

[askbartanything]

How do you become a bard? Is there a certification course you have to complete?

I don’t know man I just kinda played a lute and it did some stuff. *shrug* I mean I went to college but that’s not really a necessary thing.

It’s just a vibe I guess. You start telling stories and one day you can make clouds of daggers.