Chaos Crew Ask Blog!

Ask Professor Chaos or his minions any question!

[askchaoscrew]

Ooh, did you get him??

<Prince Anarchy appears drained and tired. He leans against an alley wall, alone>

Prince Anarchy: ...we were able to make a deal. That bastard won’t be... hurting him anymore...

<Prince Anarchy slides down the wall and pulls out a phone, dialling a number>

Prince Anarchy: ...I need help. Can you pick me up?

[askchaoscrew]

hey prince anarchy, could you be a little more straightforward about your intentions? that was a very vague monologue you gave

Prince Anarchy: I'm busy right now. Your human ideals about friendship are entirely meaningless to me. Doctor Bedlam is but one of many humans that I tolerate for my own purposes. Can your puny human brain not understand plain English? Perhaps I should explain it in a differ-

<A strange sound can be heard below>

Prince Anarchy: That bastard finally fell for the trap.

[askchaoscrew]

hey Professor Chaos!! what’ll be your next plot of evil to unleash upon the town of South Park?

Professor Chaos: Golly, I want to do somethin’ that’ll really make ‘im scream but now I’m just not sure if I oughta. It’s all been so strange lately... should I take time away from being a super villain?

<Professor Chaos grows silent>

Professor Chaos: ...can I trust you guys with a secret? You have to promise you won’t tell anyone!

[askchaoscrew]

Prince Anarchy! allow me first to praise you for your wonderful work in the chaotic crime department. secondly, what are your thoughts on doctor bedlam? do you consider him a friend? perhaps... more than a friend? give me your honest opinion, i promise i won’t tell!

Prince Anarchy: This can’t go on. I’m going to stop him. No matter what it takes.

[askchaoscrew]

I think someone should go check on disarray

Doctor Bedlam: Tits, I’m the only one left, aren’t I? Destroying Mysterion will have to wait.

<Bedlam Goes To Dougie’s House>

[askchaoscrew]

how DARE Mysterion punch General Disarray! I ask for vengeance! VENGEANCE I SAY!!! No Mercy!

[askchaoscrew]

Any crushes?

<Professor Chaos Is Embarrassed>

Doctor Bedlam: Are you heading home for the day, Professor?

Professor Chaos: Huh? Oh... yeah... It’s been a really long day... by the way, have you noticed anything different about the General lately?

Doctor Bedlam: ...no...

Professor Chaos: I’m going home.

<Professor Chaos Went Home Looking Angry>

Doctor Bedlam: Oh, bullocks. I’m no good with secrets.

[askchaoscrew]

Chaos, have you tried to talk to general disarray? Maybe he needs some reassurance; it doesn’t look like he’s doing so well :(

<Dougie Went Home>

[askchaoscrew]

You guys are NOT lame, those dumb heroes are lame!!

Professor Chaos: Thank you! Especially lately! Minions! I want an update on the lame heroes attempting to thwart us!

General Disarray: Call Girl has been spotted on the perimeter taking photos, she was scared away with some well placed lava though. Our cookie plan from yesterday was thwarted by... Mosquito... he ate the cookies...

<General Disarray Has Lapsed Into Silence>

Doctor Bedlam: Ah-hem, Don’t worry there, Chap! I’ll pick up from there! After our cookies were consumed by the glutinous pig only known as ‘Mosquito’, we received a notice from Toolshed on our front door. The note reads ‘Melvins’. Oh dear, how crass.

Prince Anarchy: I’m going out.

<Prince Anarchy Stormed Out>

[askchaoscrew]

Professor chaos, what are the requirements to be a minion? ( I may or may not be looking to join you )

Professor Chaos: We’re always looking for more help! Just make sure you can obey the above and you should be a-ok!

General Disarray: ...we could really use the help lately...

Doctor Bedlam: Wait, what’s number three mean?

Prince Anarchy: I broke all those rules yesterday.

Professor Chaos: Ah hamburgers! Anarchy, we can always depend on you to inject more chaotic energy! You truly embody the best of us!

General Disarray: Yeah. Rules are for breaking.

<Prince Anarchy has turned red>

[askchaoscrew]

Have you seen the New Kid lately, Chaos?

Professor Chaos: No, but sometimes... I can still smell their farts >:[!

[askchaoscrew]

Pip! What are your thoughts on Damien?

Doctor Bedlam: Pip? Who’s Pip? Who’s Damien? I’m Doctor Bedlam! There is no Phillip here!

General Disarray: Very convincing.

Doctor Bedlam: Thank you, Disarray. I’m told I’m quite the actor! General Disarray: By who? Doctor Bedlam: Super Craig!

General Disarray: ...yeah. That checks out.

[askchaoscrew]

Why so silent, General Disarray?

[askchaoscrew]

When did you recruit so many minions??

Professor Chaos: We’re always looking for  good help! And with how dangerous our schemes can be, we were in desperate need of a medic!

Doctor Bedlam: I quite enjoy the opportunity to cut loose a bit and really show others what I can do. Those meddlesome heroes really need someone to hold them to account!

General Disarray: He keeps setting our pamphlets on fire though. Which is a problem.

Prince Anarchy: Try to stop me, shorty.

[askchaoscrew]

what does chaos think about mysterion? any missions ruined because of the heros? 😳

General Disarray: ...

Doctor Bedlam: We don’t see him much though, I think he works in the superhero equivalent of ‘major crimes’.

Professor Chaos: Our crimes are major!

Prince Anarchy: <mutters> majorly lame

Professor Chaos: ANYWAY! We don’t clash with the Freedom Pals much, but last week when we were sending out firecrackers in gift-baskets, Mysterion came to our base.

Doctor Bedlam: He made a right mess of the place too, he could have cleaned up after himself. Feathers, everywhere. Does he think those things pick themselves up? He’s quite a rude lad.

Professor Chaos: He said our ‘prank’ was too ‘dangerous’ and we needed to stick to ‘safe’ activities! Golly, he doesn’t understand us at all! Disarray tried to explain it to him-

General Disarray: ...

Professor Chaos: So yeah, he’s scary and mean. If he ever tries to interfere with our plots again, I’ll make sure he regrets it!

[askchaoscrew]

Professor Chaos: No one’s asking us questions... are we lame?

General Disarray: No! We’re awesome!

Prince Anarchy: You sure about that, shorty?

<Chaos Crew’s Morale Has Lowered>

[askchaoscrew]

Professor Chaos! If you were trapped on an island and had to pick one hero to stay there with, who would it be and why?

General Disarray: ...I wish you wouldn’t rely on him so much... he always betrays you.

Professor Chaos: He’s definitely a slippery character! But I can outsmart him.

General Disarray: If you say so...