I Eat Tongues.

Hastur RP Blog (TV Series Canon).  Selective. 18+ only. Common Trigger warnings will be tagged. Please come play with the trashdemon.

[hasturthirstblog]

from a secret source i have learned that hastur loves everyone who loves him

[askhastur]

I also love eating them.

[the-memedaddy]

meirl

[askhastur]

Okay, please settle something for us: was Ligur with you, or with Michael? I know you and Ligur were partners, but were you also husbands?

We were everything to each other, him and me. 

No idea what you’re talkin’ about with Wank Wings here, though.

[askhastur]

how do u know the computer is staring at you

It’s got one big, black eye that has these things on it. That don’t sound like an eye to you?

[askhastur]

[Hastur lights a cigarette with an entire arm of flame.]

t don’t matter what anyone says on the subject.

Lurking by yourself’s a misery. 

[She extinguishes her arm and inhales a mouthful of the tobacco.After a moment, she exhales in a slow, long breath.]

Yeah.

[She misses Ligur so hard that it sometimes feels like whatever she had for a heart was ripped out and torn in two. And that’s on a good day.

[Today is not a good day.] 

[thenatsdorf]

“Do I look like I eat bugs?!”

[emchromatic]

I love this frog so much I drew a comic of it.

[askhastur]

Okay,the bitch is back. Ask Hastur anything you want.

Just don’t expect her to be nice.

[askhastur]

What if I told you lot that I know what a “computer” is. 

And that I usually bash them to pieces for staring at me. 

[askhastur]

HER.

MotherFUCKER.

[askhastur]

I’ve neglected this blog for a while due to ongoing mental health issues :(. But I wanted to post here today just to say: If you feel like Hastur/Ligur isn’t an active fandom or pairing anymore, don’t. Some of us are writing as much fic for them as we can. If you’ve experience heartache because someone you care(d) about in a fandom hurt you, please don’t stop caring about that fandom solely for that reason. If you need to step away, step away. But don’t let that be the only reason you lose interest. If you feel like life’s too hard right now and you need someone to talk to, my inbox is open. I’m just a PM away and I’ll help you however I can.  (Unlike Hastur, who would eat your tongue, I’d like to think I’m a caring person.)

- Hastur’s Assistant

[askhastur]

Are you secretly the Loveland frog man???

I tell you! You and some mates go to America for holiday, get drunk, and no one lets you forget what you got up to while drunk.Yeah. I’m the Loveland frog man.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[askhastur]

That’s what I’ve been saying for years now!

[sphinxmemesmusings]

Send “Marry me!” to see my muse’s reaction to yours suddenly proposing to them!

Doesn’t matter if we’ve never interacted before!

[deatofabachelor]

when no one in class is ready for the test

[toadschooled]

Are texas toads as big and fluffy as texas toast?

I get asked this every day of my life… here’s a helpful chart

[askhastur]

*Hasturing Intensifies*

[aroace-get-out-of-my-face]

I need to see @rysttle Get along AU, where crowley turns to hastur and goes

"I dare you to drink some"

With hasturs face going 😮🙂🤠

And Aziraphale/Ligur in the background yelling

"NO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD"

[rysttle]

What do you think hastur would ask in return for that dare tho-

Out of topic but if my friend just went "Rysttle if you drink this I'll backflip for you everytime you feel the need to backflip" I'd do it dammit

[askhastur]

As a matter of fact, I did this at Heathrow the other day. 

Woke up in a dumpster wearing face paint, one of those shirts with the palm trees on it, and missing my wig.

Not sure what happened there, but I know one thing: it was probably one of the best nights I’ve ever had on earth.

[strangehorse]

My dad has motion detectors with built-in cameras along his driveway, and there's a frog that has figured out that if it jumps in front of the detector, the infrared light that turns on will attract bugs. So my dad frequently gets a bunch of pictures of the frog jumping around, and he's really fond of the frog now. He refers to it as his frog, enjoys getting pictures of it, and is always super, super careful in the driveway to check for the frog to make sure it's safe.

Anon. Please listen to me. I would not tell you this if it was not very important to me. PLEASE get me a picture of this frog. 

[strangehorse]

anon. where is the frog, anon. we need the frog anon.

[strangehorse]

THE FROG!!!!!!!