Mike Zacharius, 2nd Captain of the Survey Legion

A Ask and RL RP blog, as Mike Zacharius in real life I Watch #AskMikeZach So If you want to get my attention. Use that too

[gif87a-com]

[monkeysaysficus]

“AHkhwoo”

[omgamazingwtf123-deactivated202]

WHAT

[memesville]

Leave him alone he is perfect!

[koleijon]

“AKUUU”

[valtsv]

being married to an elf would suck bc they’d just be like “i wrote a short ballad on the subject of our love. would you like to hear it?” *proceeds to sing for the next 12 hours without pause because that’s what’s considered brief by elf standards* and being married to a dwarf would suck bc they’d be like *spends 36 hours carving a pattern into a single face of a hammer they’re working on because you “can’t rush art” and forgets that you even exist until you’re forced to come down and persuade them to return to the surface to take a nap before they collapse of exhaustion* so you really can’t win

[valtsv]

you’re too smart to be following me

[quiiz]

the official pokemon twitter posted this and it’s beautiful (x)

[sushinfood]

PIKACHU’S LITTLE SQUEAL

[letitrainathousandflames-archive]

Parallels

[gaypussyretard]

[friendly-neighborhood-ehrhardt]

this image actually makes complete sense & that is a fucking trip & a half.

[rot-city]

You can take it back even further to the Archudke’s assassin just bumping into him deciding to get a sandwich. One man’s need for lunch 100 years ago gave rise to tentacle porn half the world away. What a world.

[goblinbutler]

Is anybody going to explain?

No? Okay.

[kemonododo]

1. Archduke Ferndinand is murdered, causing World War 1.

2. The Allies win WW1, imposing the Treaty of Versailles on Germany.

3. This causes tension between Germany and the rest of Europe, something Adolf Hitler takes advantage of and begins WW2.

4. Japan joins the axis in WW2 in order to expand their empire.

5. The Axis is defeated, and Japan comes under US occupation.

6. American soldiers bring comic books, cartoons, and other American mediums to Japan which stay behind even after the occupation is over.

7. Post-WW2 Japan imposes strict censorship laws that include the banning of most conventional porn.

8. Japanese citizens retaliate by drawing comics with women having sex with vaguely penis-shaped objects like tentacles to exploit loopholes in the law.

9. It establishes itself as a fetish even after the laws are relaxed, and so Hentai was born.

[deadddeviant]

Butterfly effect

[divinegaeity-deactivated2023101]

….oh my god.

[dragongirltitties]

player: what if (exact prediction of gm’s plan)

gm: 

[radnewworld]

Let me tell you a tale…

Once upon a time, I was running a DnD game for some friends. The player characters were checking out reports that a local town had been having trouble with monsters. They’re informed that it was true, a few years ago, but a copper dragon set up a lair in the mountains and chased all the awful creatures out. A dragon slayer showed up shortly thereafter and neither dragon nor slayer were heard from again. Players are disappointed at first, but then quickly perk up when some other plot threads become apparent.

A few sessions later, the place they were staying burned down (their fault), forcing them to check out the more expensive tavern in town. There, they meet Allie Cohol, a half-elf woman with red hair that owned and ran the tavern. She was cheerfully greedy, but still helpful and always ready with a cheesey joke… And after only the third joke, one of the players, Bill, froze and locked eyes with me. “You fucker. She’s the copper dragon,” Bill says.

That reveal was supposed to be a big thing later, so I’m kinda on the spot. Fortunately, another player, Fran, pipes up and says, “nah, that’s stupid. The dragon in the mountain is a red herring. We’re here for the cultists.” The cultists were in the sewer and the PCs were actually working for the cleric Big Bad without them knowing.

“No, listen,” Bill continued. “Red hair. Greedy. Bad jokes… Her name is Allie Cohol.”

Everyone around the table gives him a fairly blank look, but I’m sweating bullets. Threads that I had spun oh so carefully were half a heartbeat away from unraveling. Bill is getting this real wild look in his eyes and pounds a fist against the table. “Allie Cohol. HER NAME IS ALCOHOL.”

Fran then slowly pans over and looks me dead in the eyes. “The deadly joke ability. She’s a goddamn dragon.”

[dragongirltitties]

this is beautiful

[midwest-monster]

broadway antique market

i bought this telegram, because it’s probably the best thing i’ve ever seen.  i’m framing it.  it cost $1.

[theblamegabe-deactivated2019102]

I need to end all my correspondences with “Get me” now

[idaiku17]

DAY 07

[unisex-futures]

[ladynorbert]

I always wonder how many times Travis Willingham had to practice before he was able to rap the whole thing without dying of laughter.

[dodostad]

i am so confused and so glad. i probably don’t need to reblog anything ever again what could possibly follow this

[insertdisc5]

who knew it’d take the end of the world to make me happy!

[cronchamonch-blog]

I feel like this doesn’t even need a caption lmao

[sourearth]

my brother is a little shit in minecraft

[darkmoron]

This is the most accurate portrayal of siblings on this goddam site

[kitty2i-blog]

[chazzfox]

Okay but the “where are the kids” “they’re out back” made me ugly laugh

[just40k]

[just40k]

40k Themed Products Now available at Farfuture!

Use code OUTFIT to get 25% off apparel! Limited time!

[pinkcori]

Spent the last couple of nights drawing these ^-^ 

[japotecture]

[caveisgettingdeleted-deactivate]

Thank you clam man

[tiktoksithinkarefunny]

[ck6y72-blog]

.