ℳ𝓇. 𝒥𝒶𝓂ℯ𝓈 ℛℯ𝓎𝓃ℴ𝓁𝒹𝓈

[askmrreynolds]

𝓓𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓪𝓵𝓵, 𝓘 𝓱𝓸𝓹𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓵𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓭𝓼 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓲𝓷 𝓰𝓸𝓸𝓭 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓵𝓽𝓱 𝓐𝓷𝓭 𝓲𝓷 𝓪 𝓹𝓻𝓸𝓼𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓼 𝓮𝓷𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱 𝓹𝓸𝓼𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝓽𝓸 𝓹𝓾𝓽 𝔀𝓮𝓪𝓵𝓽𝓱 𝓘𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓹𝓸𝓬𝓴𝓮𝓽𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓹𝓮𝓸𝓹𝓵𝓮 𝓵𝓲𝓴𝓮 𝓶𝓮, 𝓓𝓸𝔀𝓷 𝓸𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓲𝓻 𝓵𝓾𝓬𝓴.

𝓘 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓼𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂 𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓲𝓻 𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓲𝓷𝓺𝓾𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓼,,, 𝓪 𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓲𝓬𝓾𝓵𝓪𝓻 𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓭𝓻𝓮𝔀 𝓶𝔂 𝓪𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷, 𝓲𝓽 𝔀𝓪𝓼 𝓶𝓸𝓼𝓽… 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓲𝓰𝓾𝓲𝓷𝓰.

𝓣𝓲𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓹𝓪𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓹𝓲𝓹𝓮𝓻 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓼𝓮𝓽 𝓲𝓷 𝓶𝓸𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷. 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓮𝔁𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓬𝓪𝓼𝓱 𝓲𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓶𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓵𝔂 𝓬𝓾𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓶𝓪𝓻𝔂—𝓲𝓽 𝓲𝓼 𝓮𝔁𝓹𝓮𝓬𝓽𝓮𝓭.

𝓕𝓵𝓪𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻𝔂, 𝔀𝓲𝓽, 𝓸𝓻 𝓬𝓵𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓬𝓾𝓻𝓲𝓸𝓼𝓲𝓽𝔂 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓼𝓾𝓯𝓯𝓲𝓬𝓮; 𝓹𝓻𝓸𝓹𝓮𝓻 𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓾𝓷𝓮𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝓮𝓷𝓼𝓾𝓻𝓮𝓼 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓮𝓭 𝓲𝓷𝓭𝓾𝓵𝓰𝓮𝓷𝓬𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓺𝓾𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓸𝓫𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓿𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼.

𝓚𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼: 𝓘 𝓪𝓶 𝓸𝓫𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓿𝓪𝓷𝓽, 𝓶𝓮𝓽𝓲𝓬𝓾𝓵𝓸𝓾𝓼, 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓯𝓾𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓪𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓽𝓪𝓵𝓮𝓼 𝓾𝓷𝓯𝓸𝓵𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓲𝓷 𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓶𝓲𝓭𝓼𝓽. 𝓟𝓻𝓸𝓬𝓮𝓮𝓭 𝔀𝓲𝓼𝓮𝓵𝔂, 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮𝓶𝓫𝓮𝓻, 𝓲𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓲𝓼𝓱 𝓽𝓸 𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓪𝓲𝓷 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓶𝔂 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓲𝓬𝓮, 𝓬𝓪𝓼𝓱 𝓲𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓸𝓷𝓵𝔂 𝓬𝓾𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓷𝓬𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓼𝓮𝓬𝓾𝓻𝓮 𝓶𝔂 𝓪𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷.

ℳ𝓇. 𝒥𝒶𝓂ℯ𝓈 ℛℯ𝓎𝓃ℴ𝓁𝒹𝓈

[askmrreynolds]

Hey mr reynolds whats ur favorite money

𝒟ℯ𝒶𝓇 𝒶𝓃ℴ𝓃𝓎𝓂ℴ𝓊𝓈, 𝐼 ℎℴ𝓅ℯ 𝓉ℎ𝒾𝓈 𝓁ℯ𝓉𝓉ℯ𝓇 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝒾𝓃 ℊℴℴ𝒹 ℎℯ𝒶𝓁𝓉𝒽.

Favorite money, you ask? Ha. There’s a certain pleasure in the clink of coin—gold for show, silver for comfort—but the real delight is the rustle of notes that change hands when a secret needs burying. Cash is tidy, immediate, and buys discretion. Bring me velvet purses or folded bills, and I’ll smile as I take them; bring me promises and speeches, and I’ll smile as I watch them tear.

Remember: what’s offered to James Reynolds is never charity. It’s an investment. Pay well, and your curiosities remain curiosities. Pay poorly, and the world learns what you’d rather keep buried.

Best,

ℳ𝓇. 𝒥𝒶𝓂ℯ𝓈 ℛℯ𝓎𝓃ℴ𝓁𝒹𝓈

[askmrreynolds]

Are you perhaps from Pretty Boy Reservoir?

Sincerely,

Mr. Benedict George M.

𝒟ℯ𝒶𝓇 Mr. Benedict George M, 𝐼 ℎℴ𝓅ℯ 𝓉ℎ𝒾𝓈 𝓁ℯ𝓉𝓉ℯ𝓇 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝒾𝓃 ℊℴℴ𝒹 ℎℯ𝒶𝓁𝓉𝒽.

Pretty Boy Reservoir… what a curious little association. I can only assume you mean to tease, but I assure you, I am no reservoir to be drawn from at whim. I am a man of rather particular appetites, and unlike a reservoir, my depths are not public property.

Still, I find it almost endearing—the way you and your little blogs ask around me with such amusement. Your wit, your questions, your attention… all of it flows my way, and I do not fail to notice. It is flattering, in its own sharp fashion.

So no, I am not from Pretty Boy Reservoir. I am from a world of coin, of debts tallied and settled, of desires bargained for and paid. And if you insist upon casting your attention in my direction, well—know that even curiosity comes with its price

Best,

ℳ𝓇. 𝒥𝒶𝓂ℯ𝓈 ℛℯ𝓎𝓃ℴ𝓁𝒹𝓈

[max-napoleon]

I was trying to call you attractive, dumbass.

[askmrreynolds]

Interesting.

Best,

ℳ𝓇. 𝒥𝒶𝓂ℯ𝓈 ℛℯ𝓎𝓃ℴ𝓁𝒹𝓈

[askmrreynolds]

u and ur wife are queer

𝒟ℯ𝒶𝓇 𝒶𝓃ℴ𝓃𝓎𝓂ℴ𝓊𝓈, 𝐼 ℎℴ𝓅ℯ 𝓉ℎ𝒾𝓈 𝓁ℯ𝓉𝓉ℯ𝓇 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝒾𝓃 ℊℴℴ𝒹 ℎℯ𝒶𝓁𝓉𝒽.

Interesting, will not confirm nor deny,

If you wish to enlighten yourself with answers or thus conformation from I, then there's a price to pay, oughta get your purse ready.

Best,

ℳ𝓇. 𝒥𝒶𝓂ℯ𝓈 ℛℯ𝓎𝓃ℴ𝓁𝒹𝓈

[askmrreynolds]

Are you perhaps from Pretty Boy Reservoir?

Sincerely,

Mr. Benedict George M.

𝒟ℯ𝒶𝓇 Mr. Benedict George M, 𝐼 ℎℴ𝓅ℯ 𝓉ℎ𝒾𝓈 𝓁ℯ𝓉𝓉ℯ𝓇 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝒾𝓃 ℊℴℴ𝒹 ℎℯ𝒶𝓁𝓉𝒽.

Pretty Boy Reservoir… what a curious little association. I can only assume you mean to tease, but I assure you, I am no reservoir to be drawn from at whim. I am a man of rather particular appetites, and unlike a reservoir, my depths are not public property.

Still, I find it almost endearing—the way you and your little blogs ask around me with such amusement. Your wit, your questions, your attention… all of it flows my way, and I do not fail to notice. It is flattering, in its own sharp fashion.

So no, I am not from Pretty Boy Reservoir. I am from a world of coin, of debts tallied and settled, of desires bargained for and paid. And if you insist upon casting your attention in my direction, well—know that even curiosity comes with its price

Best,

ℳ𝓇. 𝒥𝒶𝓂ℯ𝓈 ℛℯ𝓎𝓃ℴ𝓁𝒹𝓈

[askmrreynolds]

Projects my period cramps into you

𝒟ℯ𝒶𝓇 𝒶𝓃ℴ𝓃𝓎𝓂ℴ𝓊𝓈, 𝐼 ℎℴ𝓅ℯ 𝓉ℎ𝒾𝓈 𝓁ℯ𝓉𝓉ℯ𝓇 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝒾𝓃 ℊℴℴ𝒹 ℎℯ𝒶𝓁𝓉𝒽.

You claim to be “projecting your period cramps into me.” How… vivid. I must say, I am impressed by the imagination, though I assure you, James Reynolds does not suffer bodily afflictions vicariously. I am quite particular about what pains I accept, and yours, I fear, is not included.

However, if you wish me to endure such… uncomfortable entertainments on a more regular basis, you know what must accompany them: cash. Proper remuneration ensures I tolerate even the most inventive of sufferings with civility. Without it… well, consider your cramps yours alone.

Best,

ℳ𝓇. 𝒥𝒶𝓂ℯ𝓈 ℛℯ𝓎𝓃ℴ𝓁𝒹𝓈

[askmrreynolds]

Do you beat up your wife

𝒟ℯ𝒶𝓇 𝒶𝓃ℴ𝓃𝓎𝓂ℴ𝓊𝓈, 𝐼 ℎℴ𝓅ℯ 𝓉ℎ𝒾𝓈 𝓁ℯ𝓉𝓉ℯ𝓇 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝒾𝓃 ℊℴℴ𝒹 ℎℯ𝒶𝓁𝓉𝒽.

You ask if I “beat up my wife.” Perhaps you’ve been reading Hamilton’s little confession, hm? Convenient, is it not, how the quill in his hand makes me the brute, so that he might parade himself as the tragic hero? He sets the stage, paints me monstrous, and still thinks himself clever.

Now, I will not waste ink denying what whispers already cling to my name.

Let the curious believe what they please. But tell me—who appears the greater fool? The man accused of cruelty, or the one who paid me cash just to crawl back to her, time and again?

So yes, I will confirm this much: I beat Hamilton’s pride black and blue, and the blows were struck with nothing more than a purse.

Best,

ℳ𝓇. 𝒥𝒶𝓂ℯ𝓈 ℛℯ𝓎𝓃ℴ𝓁𝒹𝓈

[askmrreynolds]

do you confirm hamburr sir

𝒟ℯ𝒶𝓇 𝒶𝓃ℴ𝓃𝓎𝓂ℴ𝓊𝓈, 𝐼 ℎℴ𝓅ℯ 𝓉ℎ𝒾𝓈 𝓁ℯ𝓉𝓉ℯ𝓇 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝒾𝓃 ℊℴℴ𝒹 ℎℯ𝒶𝓁𝓉𝒽.

“Hamburr,” you say? Ha! I confirm it as surely as I confirm that Hamilton cannot keep his quill—or his company—to himself. And Burr? Ever the quiet shadow at his side, pretending indifference while his gaze tells another story entirely. A most profitable arrangement, if one were to charge admission.

You ask if I confirm “Hamburr.” A curious thing to inquire, though I confess it hardly surprises me. I have seen the way certain gentlemen look at one another, the pauses in their speech, the unspoken words hanging heavy in the air. One does not need to be particularly perceptive to see what is plainly before us.

Do I confirm it? Let us say this: if a man were inclined to wager upon the matter, I would advise him to keep his purse ready. Cash, of course, buys not only certainty but discretion. Without it, I will leave you only with a knowing smile and the assurance that some rumors exist because they are… richly deserved.

Best,

ℳ𝓇. 𝒥𝒶𝓂ℯ𝓈 ℛℯ𝓎𝓃ℴ𝓁𝒹𝓈

[jadelemonadee]

fleshy cowboy head…🚬

[askmrreynolds]

𝒟ℯ𝒶𝓇 jadelemonade, 𝐼 ℎℴ𝓅ℯ 𝓉ℎ𝒾𝓈 𝓁ℯ𝓉𝓉ℯ𝓇 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝒾𝓃 ℊℴℴ𝒹 ℎℯ𝒶𝓁𝓉𝒽.

I have observed the image you have seen fit to submit—a most… fleshy portrayal of my own visage, a cowboy no less. How bold of you, and yet, I cannot deny a certain… amusement. Truly, to see oneself reduced to such an absurdity is a rare experience.

However, allow me to remind you: attention from James Reynolds is not granted freely. Should you wish to continue circulating such portrayals of my person, proper remuneration is expected. Cash, naturally. Without it, consider your amusements little more than idle distractions, and know that I am ever aware of who dares to mock me—even in jest.

Proceed wisely, for some truths are worth far more than a mere meme.

[askmrreynolds]

who did u vote for in the election? burr? Jefferson? Angelica?

𝒟ℯ𝒶𝓇 𝒶𝓃ℴ𝓃𝓎𝓂ℴ𝓊𝓈, 𝐼 ℎℴ𝓅ℯ 𝓉ℎ𝒾𝓈 𝓁ℯ𝓉𝓉ℯ𝓇 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝒾𝓃 ℊℴℴ𝒹 ℎℯ𝒶𝓁𝓉𝒽.

Ah, the election. A spectacle most diverting. Between Mr. Jefferson and Colonel Burr, I must say my sympathies rest firmly with Jefferson. Burr, as ever, lingers in silence, as if the office might stumble into his lap by sheer accident. One wonders how he plans to govern a nation while whispering to himself. Jefferson, at least, has the decency to speak—and to act—though one might still question his judgment.

Best,

ℳ𝓇. 𝒥𝒶𝓂ℯ𝓈 ℛℯ𝓎𝓃ℴ𝓁𝒹𝓈

[askmrreynolds]

spreads my legs

𝒟ℯ𝒶𝓇 𝒶𝓃ℴ𝓃𝓎𝓂ℴ𝓊𝓈, 𝐼 ℎℴ𝓅ℯ 𝓉ℎ𝒾𝓈 𝓁ℯ𝓉𝓉ℯ𝓇 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝒾𝓃 ℊℴℴ𝒹 ℎℯ𝒶𝓁𝓉𝒽.

Ah, miss, sir, how very indecorous of you. To “spread one’s legs” so freely—why, that is a service, and services demand payment. In this household, we accept nothing but cash. Mr. Hamilton, of course, required no such reminder; he was most diligent in settling accounts.

As for Colonel Burr, well… he is less forthcoming with his coin, though I have oft suspected he pays Hamilton in other currencies entirely. Two men forever circling one another—I should charge admission.

Now then, if you would continue in this vein, kindly ready your purse. I do not work on credit.

Best,

ℳ𝓇. 𝒥𝒶𝓂ℯ𝓈 ℛℯ𝓎𝓃ℴ𝓁𝒹𝓈

[askmrreynolds]

You gay?

𝒟ℯ𝒶𝓇 𝒶𝓃ℴ𝓃𝓎𝓂ℴ𝓊𝓈, 𝐼 ℎℴ𝓅ℯ 𝓉ℎ𝒾𝓈 𝓁ℯ𝓉𝓉ℯ𝓇 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝒾𝓃 ℊℴℴ𝒹 ℎℯ𝒶𝓁𝓉𝒽.

An excellent question, sir: “You gay?” A line so brief, so cutting, I daresay Mr. Hamilton himself would be jealous he hadn’t published it first.

As for the matter—well, I cannot say. But I hear tell that if one seeks expertise on the subject, one need only look toward General Hamilton and Colonel Burr. Two gentlemen who spend so much time circling one another, I wonder they don’t simply dispense with their pistols and elope.

In any case, should you crave further details of my private inclinations, kindly remit your inquiry with proper compensation—in cash, of course.

Best,

ℳ𝓇. 𝒥𝒶𝓂ℯ𝓈 ℛℯ𝓎𝓃ℴ𝓁𝒹𝓈

[askmrreynolds]

ur wife has a GYATTTT

𝒟ℯ𝒶𝓇 𝒶𝓃ℴ𝓃𝓎𝓂ℴ𝓊𝓈, 𝐼 ℎℴ𝓅ℯ 𝓉ℎ𝒾𝓈 𝓁ℯ𝓉𝓉ℯ𝓇 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝒾𝓃 ℊℴℴ𝒹 ℎℯ𝒶𝓁𝓉𝒽.

Ah,

Sir, your choice of words is as peculiar as it is unrefined,

yet I suppose I ought to thank you for the entertainment.

If you truly wish to discourse upon my wife’s attributes, I suggest you address Mr. Hamilton himself; he has already paid most handsomely for the privilege. As for yourself—should you wish to continue in such commentary, I do request it be done in cash, for I find paper promises and lofty speeches of no value in my household.

Best,

ℳ𝓇. 𝒥𝒶𝓂ℯ𝓈 ℛℯ𝓎𝓃ℴ𝓁𝒹𝓈

[askmrreynolds]

get off tumblr hoe.

𝒟ℯ𝒶𝓇 𝒶𝓃ℴ𝓃𝓎𝓂ℴ𝓊𝓈, 𝐼 ℎℴ𝓅ℯ 𝓉ℎ𝒾𝓈 𝓁ℯ𝓉𝓉ℯ𝓇 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝒾𝓃 ℊℴℴ𝒹 ℎℯ𝒶𝓁𝓉𝒽.

Excuse me, who do you think you are? I have a feeling you have 'The Reynolds Pamphlet' playing, and I'd appreciate if you'd mind your business, 'Hamilton, glazer' or whatever they, 'chronically online fourteen year olds, according to among', would say.

“get off Tumblr,” you say? How blunt, how charmingly vulgar. Truly, it warms my heart to see such concern for my online presence. Yet I must remind you, dear anonymous: one never knows who might be listening. Every word, every post—an audience, invisible yet attentive, waits. Why, if I were so inclined, I could compose another Reynolds Pamphlet this very evening, revealing all I have observed of these curious little blogs.

So, do proceed with care, and remember: my attention, unlike yours, is not granted freely. Payment in cash, naturally, secures continued discourse.

I am not a 'hoe' unlike my wife, please.

Oh, and leave the cash on my doorstep, thanks.

Best,

ℳ𝓇. 𝒥𝒶𝓂ℯ𝓈 ℛℯ𝓎𝓃ℴ𝓁𝒹𝓈

[askmrreynolds]

well hello there fine man

𝒟ℯ𝒶𝓇 Kyleetryme, 𝐼 ℎℴ𝓅ℯ 𝓉ℎ𝒾𝓈 𝓁ℯ𝓉𝓉ℯ𝓇 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝒾𝓃 ℊℴℴ𝒹 ℎℯ𝒶𝓁𝓉𝒽.

Ah, Kyleetryme… you’re here?

I had a suspicion, but to see it confirmed is… most entertaining. I have seen through your little blog, every curious inquiry of yours, and I must say, it amuses me greatly. Still, if you wish to continue this delightful audience with me, pray remember: such attention is not given freely. Payment in cash, of course.

Best,

ℳ𝓇. 𝒥𝒶𝓂ℯ𝓈 ℛℯ𝓎𝓃ℴ𝓁𝒹𝓈

[askmrreynolds]

MARIAH DOESNT NEED YOU GET TF OUT OF HER LIFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

You've got mee....

𝒟ℯ𝒶𝓇 𝒶𝓃ℴ𝓃𝓎𝓂ℴ𝓊𝓈, 𝐼 ℎℴ𝓅ℯ 𝓉ℎ𝒾𝓈 𝓁ℯ𝓉𝓉ℯ𝓇 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝒾𝓃 ℊℴℴ𝒹 ℎℯ𝒶𝓁𝓉𝒽.

I'm sorry? I don't understand, I've got you?

Alright. Hand me an envelope with cash and I'll think about it.

Best,

ℳ𝓇. 𝒥𝒶𝓂ℯ𝓈 ℛℯ𝓎𝓃ℴ𝓁𝒹𝓈