Papalucious Copia

The Melodic Cardinal of Sin

[askpapa-4]

Your Favorite Satanic Frontman’s Favorite Satanic Frontman

• Call me what you like. Copia. Papa. Rat Man. I will still headline.

•I have 18 costumes, a keytar, and a dream.

•Three walked before me. I carry them all.

•Yes, yes, Terzo had charisma. He also had a new mistress every Tuesday and no concept of rehearsal. They say he brought passion to the Church. I say he brought gonorrhea.

•My legacy is carved in stone. V’s is scribbled in lipstick on a gas station mirror.

•Embrace me for I will embrace you, send me your inquires and lend me your hearts.

Papa IV, at your service. Sort of.

[askpapa-4]

Hi!!! 👋

Randomly saw this in a shop and thought you needed it in the office.

Ahhh, finally! Someone in this Ministry understands interior design!

Yes, absolutely, put it in the office!

Right there.

Perfect!

It adds character. Warmth. Possibly mild psychological distress, but that is still ambience.

You see a strange little object in a shop and think, ‘Papa would appreciate this.’ That is friendship. That is instinct. That is culture!

[askpapa-4]

me when im on the square, the level, AND am swearing right here right now before the devil

anyway hi have a perp

FIRST of all! That is not my song!

And SECOND of all, why in Satan’s name would you hand me a Perpetua after saying all that to me?

You come into my vicinity quoting his lyrics, swearing before the devil like you’re at karaoke night, and then go ‘anyway hi have a perp 😊’ as if I am supposed to clap??

I don’t even like Perpetua. His hair annoys me. His posture annoys me. His entire… aura annoys me.

Keep yourself and those two Gollumpus Rakefires over there. I do not want him touching my desk.

[askpapa-4]

It heartens me to know that my words can offer you some solace. I hope you know your light doesn't simply flicker in my heart. It's a constant, steady glow. One that makes my days sweeter~★

Ah, and if you miss the cheers I can...cheer you on while you do paperwork? Quietly, so you can still focus, heh.

-A sibling of sin who's no longer as worried

You have a beautiful way with words, you know that? A dangerous talent. One more message like this and I’ll become completely unbearable.

A constant glow… mm. That is a lovely thing to be told. Especially by someone who has clearly carried worries of their own.

And for the record? I think I would like that very much. Quiet little cheers from the corner while I drown in paperwork.

‘You’re doing amazing, Frater, your stapling technique is impeccable!’

Truly though… hearing that you are not as worried anymore means more to me than you realize. Keep taking care of that heart of yours, sì? I think the world needs its light too.

[askpapa-4]

https://www.tumblr.com/askpapa-4/789489403409104896/youre-built-like-a-mix-between-a-muffin-and-a?source=share

Snack? Boy, you're the main course!!! You're mesmerizing, everybody likes to see you. I mean this in a purely friendly way of course, nobody wants to actually consume you as far as I know 🤔.

And if you want to be snuggled and complimented like I'm going to do to your rats, come here. Damn. Acting like I'm going to leave you behind 🙄. I've got a blanket and Ratatouille on the TV. Join me if you want.

Ah. So I am not being consumed, I am being… collected and offered blanket privileges. This is an important distinction, sì?

Mesmerizing, hm? Be careful saying things like that. I start believing them, and then I become unbearable in meetings.

And you have Ratatouille on? Of course you do. This is how I lose all authority. One minute I am Frater, next minute I am sitting under a blanket discussing culinary philosophy with an animated rodent.

…Still. That sounds… very peaceful. I appreciate the invitation. And for the record… nobody leaves anyone behind. Not if I have anything to say about it.

Save me a spot under the blanket, eh?

[askpapa-4]

I just went on a half hour rant about you to my therapist, (all good things, of course) what’s your opinion on that?

A half hour?! I hope they charged me for the session at that point!

All good things, eh? Then I suppose I am honored. Slightly concerned, but honored.

You know, though… there are worse things to talk about with a therapist than music, comfort, and the strange little characters that make life easier to carry. If I’ve brought you joy, or helped you through difficult moments, then I can’t really complain about being the subject of a very passionate TED Talk.

Though I do want to know if your therapist had notes for me. I can improve. Probably.

[askpapa-4]

How's the new year going for you so far papa? All good things I hope, speaking of how was everybody during new years eve?

Ahhh… this year? Madonna mia. A complete catastrophe already!

It’s almost halfway and somehow I have already lost important documents, slept through FOUR meetings, spilled espresso on myself SEVENTEEN TIMES, and had to stop a rat from climbing directly into the Christmas decorations storage. Again!

And New Year’s Eve? Total chaos. The ghouls were screaming, someone lit the wrong candles, there was glitter in places glitter should never be, and I am fairly certain one of the rats drank champagne.

But… eh. We survived it. Sometimes that is enough, sì? A year can begin badly and still become something beautiful later on.

[askpapa-4]

Rock, paper, scissors-

shoot!

(Scissors)

Paper!…Ah.

No, no, wait. Best two out of three. My hand slipped. Spiritually.

You looked too confident. That is cheating somehow.

Fine. Congratulations. You’ve defeated me in honorable combat. I hope you’re proud of yourself.

[askpapa-4]

The chicken crossed the road because it was a deep-cover avian intelligence operative, code-named Featherlock Holmes. For years, it had been embedded on the farm, pretending to peck corn while secretly intercepting radio signals hidden in windmill squeaks. That particular morning, its micro-transmitter (disguised as a harmless leg band) picked up an urgent message: a rogue raccoon syndicate across the road had cracked the breadcrumb encryption and was minutes away from exposing the entire barnyard network. With no time to wait for backup, the chicken executed Protocol Beakstorm, crossing the road in broad daylight because no one ever suspects a chicken doing exactly what chickens are “supposed” to do. To humans, it looked random. To intelligence agencies worldwide, it was a flawless extraction maneuver that saved national security… and lunch. Now you know why the chicken crossed the road.

Tragic, really. Next time it should just cross the road quietly, say nothing, and not inconvenience anyone who’s deeply committed to the sanctity of a two-second joke.

Although…

You’re telling me this chicken was essentially… James Bond with feathers?

[askpapa-4]

Happy Valentine’s Day, miei cari 💙

Whether you are spending it with someone special, your friends, or simply yourself. I hope you feel loved today.

And if you do not… consider this your official reminder that you are cherished more than you know❣️

[askpapa-4]

Watched a chicken cross the road… I still don’t know why.

[askpapa-4]

https://www.tumblr.com/ultrafacts/773276900231643136/magawa-a-rat-trained-to-detect-landmines-retired?source=share 🐀 !!!

…Ah. That is a good rat.

Five years of service. Twenty football fields. Lives saved, human lives, by a creature so small most people would never look twice at him.

Magawa did holy work. Braver than many men I have known. He deserves every honor, every soft resting place, and all the treats in the world.

Rest well, little hero. 🐀🖤

[askpapa-4]

❤️ 🎅 🎄 🎁 🌲 🎁 !!!

Someone is feeling very festive, eh?! 💙🎄

Careful, if you keep this up I’ll have the rats in little hats by morning 🐀🎅

[askpapa-4]

This is gonna taste so peak vro

…I don’t know what this means, but I admire your confidence.

[askpapa-4]

Every time I see that ‘and you,’ I pretend it’s not making me emotional.

It is.

But I pretend.

[askpapa-4]

Buon Ringraziamento, miei cari 🦃💙

I’m wishing you warmth, comfort, and… well… less chaos than what is happening in my kitchen.

One of the rats stole the entire block of cheese meant for dinner and is now hiding under the stove.

But I am still grateful. For you. For them. For cheese. For everything. 🐀✨

[askpapa-4]

Hello, I hope you're having a lovely day. Bit of a weird question, but do you have anything you like to do after a particularly bad day?

After a bad day…? After a particularly bad day, I… mmh. I guess every bad day is different…

Sometimes I light a candle in my office, dim the lights, and just… sit. No paperwork. No meetings. No expectations. I let myself breathe like a normal person for a few moments.

Other times I just crawl into bed fully clothed and watch stupid videos on my phone until I fall asleep. Very dignified for a Frater, I know.

Embarrassingly enough, sometimes I look in the mirror and scream. Pure, primal, echo-down-the-hallway catharsis. It’s free, it’s effective, and frankly it scares the novices enough that they stop bothering me for an hour.

…But really, sometimes letting it all out, quietly or loudly, is the only sane option we get. So if you ever feel like screaming at your own reflection, you’re in very dignified company.

But mostly, I try to find some small thing that reminds me the day isn’t bigger than I am. I hope you find that little thing for yourself too.