Karkat's Pretty Castle

HEY WHAT'S UP I'M KARKAT VANTAS. I AM A PRETTY FUCKING PRINCESS AND I DESERVE SUCH. YOU GOT A QUESTION!? I'LL ANSWER, YOU GOT SOME SHIT TO GIVE ME!? MOTHERFUCKER I'LL TAKE IT. ((This is an rp/ask blog.)) M!A: None

[bytonight]

[nathansummers]

Gold

[littlerosedark]

This is probably one of the best posts I’ve ever seen

[112866213]

During The Zombie Apocalypse, A Dog Just Wants To Get Back To His Boy

[askprincesskarkat]

In most zombie apocalypse stories, the protagonist is focused on their own survival. But in the short film Steadfast Stanley, a loyal Corgi just wants to reunite with the boy he loves.

EXCUSE ME WHILE I CRY FOR TWO HOURS BECAUSE THIS 

[boyprincessmanic]

TW: EXTREME RACISM AND SLURS

[boyprincessmanic]

Alright you guys listen up. This is really REALLY important so just do me a solid here and take a minute to read this okay.

A few years ago, a good friend of mine named Whitney Mitchell became extremely sick and had to have both arms and legs amputated. She was given a 12% chance to live but she fought through it and she’s one of the bravest and most beautiful people I’ve ever met in my life.

Today, her mother sent me a message on Facebook saying that Whitney had been targeted by a website called Chimp Mania. I’d never heard of it, so I did some research, and at just a glance I was immediately disgusted. Just the RULES for the website are awful beyond words.

The forum thread for Whitney is mocking enough, calling her a “shefreak” and saying she “plans to knuckle drag again.” The comments say some pretty stomach-churning things, but I decided to leave a lot of them out. A lot of them were photoshopped pictures of Whitney from when she was in physical rehab, replacing her legs with things like fried chicken legs and a map of Niger. This is the only thread I even bothered looking at and I could barely stomach it.

There is a petition to get this website permanently deleted. I don’t know how much good it will do but it NEEDS signatures. It’s got barely any right now and I don’t want this blatant vomiting on human beings to continue.

Here’s a link to the petition: http://chn.ge/1dectHH

This bullshit has gone on long enough. The fact that it exists in the first place makes me sick to my stomach. Please take a moment to sign this petition.

[becauseloveonlygrows-deactivate]

NOT

ENOUGH 

NOTES

[ashitomarisu]

WHY ISN’T THIS AT OVER A MILLION NOTES??!

[ulibeanzz]

being “cute” is really hard because even when youre angry people just kinda giggle at you and say “aw youre so cute when youre angry.” no. stop. recognize my power. 

[askprincesskarkat]

RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH

[1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1]

maned wolves hit the creepy factor WAY HARD

like the you see the top and it’s like ok cool, wolf fox thing that’s neat, but then

the legs

[jacobtheloofah]

it’s like a fucking horse-fox

[askprincesskarkat]

HORSE FOX.....

[saucymercy]

[askprincesskarkat]

Yo, so I guess I'm your new slave?

WELL I WOULDN’T SAY SLAVE… EXACTLY… I MEAN BY COMPARISON OF WHAT HUMANS CONSIDER SLAVES I WOULDN’T SAY.

YOU ARE MORE OF A FANCY… BUTLER. 

ANYWAY HERE I HAVE SOME BUTLER CLOTHING, WHENEVER I FIGURE OUT HOW THE FUCK I CAN GET YOU TO MY CASTLE YOU WILL BE REQUIRED TO WEAR IT. ALL THE TIME.

[askprincesskarkat]

dat kat butt

YOU LIKE IT? TAP IT... YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

[gnatsattack]

Drown me slowly in a sea of tragic characters.

[askprincesskarkat]

DAVE NO BABY DON'T BE SAD I REMEMBER YOU I SWEAR ASDFGHGFAF

DAMNIT PLAYABLE CHARACTER WHY CAN'T I TALK FOR YOU AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! *CRIES FOR LITERAL EVER* 

[blackstar]

DAVESPRITE MAKES SBAHJ COMICS AND SHOWS THEM TO YOU AS PART OF A ROMANCE PLOTLINE I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS GAME IS REAL

[askprincesskarkat]

I CAN'T AFFORD THINGS AND IT MAKES ME SAD AH

[thefuckinknightoftime]

I WANT THE K

9. Hickey:

A hickey technically isn’t a kiss; it’s a red mark (a bruise, really) left on the skin after someone sucks hard enough on it. Hickeys hurt a little to get, but some people think the sucking feels good, especially on the side of the neck. It can be embarrassing to walk around with a hickey, so before you start sucking, get permission first.

Dave moved lower, leaving a few kisses after him. He was bearly touching the troll’s grey skin, but even so sweet sounds and annoyed curses were leaving his lips. And that drove the blond crazy.

He wanted more of those little moans, sweet gasps and deadly insults. The Strider found a nice spot, little above Karkat’s collarbone, and gently sucked on the sensitive skin. It was like he hit the bull’s eye. The candy-blooded troll ran his palms through the blond curls almost immediately, slightly tugging on and letting out the loudest moan until now. That made Dave almost bite down hard, but he kept his cool and continued sucking. He couldn’t keep it like that thought, he was getting quite impatient and moved to another spot. That somehow surprised the grey skinned troll.

“Fuck! Strider~”

Wide smirk crossed Dave’s lips. “Pretty nice hickeys I’m doing here and there. Heard you like it.” He looked up at the troll and god even with his shades on he could still see Karkat’s deep red blush.

“You’ll pay for that, fucker.” The troll muttered.

[askprincesskarkat]

((Mun:-HEAVY BREATHING-))

[official-johncrocker-deactivate]

so i guess the first post was interesting and i’ve made a part 2. woohoo.

also, a small thanks to the followers who provided these!

(Part 1 Part 3 Part 4)

[seffosaurus]

To all of you with finals with love

GOOD LUCK ON YOUR FINALS, LOVELIES. OFFICE ASSISTANT DAVE IS HERE TO HELP YOU TURN ALL YOUR PAPERS IN TO RAPS. (The friend I did this for actually did send me exerts of his paper in rap format. Fucking Fantastic!)

[andisupreme]

I would get all of my papers done so much faster if the more you typed, the more clothes your hot office assistant losses.

[senorpacman-deactivated20200826]

most embarassing video ever im just gonna go and dig a hole and hide inside it for centuries

[kururu4ever]

OMG IMD YING

[helvetica-sans]

OHMY G. HO. D

[senorpacman-deactivated20200826]

FOR THE PEOPLE ASKING, NO I DID NOT MEAN TO RECORD THIS IT WAS MEANT TO BE PRIVATE SENORPACMAN TIME

[iamcode-deactivated20161109]

And that’s the most frustrating thing about depression. It isn’t always something you can fight back against with hope. It isn’t even something — it’s nothing. And you can’t combat nothing. You can’t fill it up. You can’t cover it. It’s just there, pulling the meaning out of everything. That being the case, all the hopeful, proactive solutions start to sound completely insane in contrast to the scope of the problem. It would be like having a bunch of dead fish, but no one around you will acknowledge that the fish are dead. Instead, they offer to help you look for the fish or try to help you figure out why they disappeared. (x)

[millennium-lily]

This is actually a really good way to explain it, I think.

[markula]

I WILL NEVER NOT REBLOG THIS

[smackintyre]

Favorite line will always be “No, see, that solution is for a different problem than the one I have.”

[deactivated-0101-deactivated202]

[askprincesskarkat]

doctorscottie:

ask-humanimpala:

ALL OF YOU.

[ikimaru]

it’s almost that time of the year again 8’)

he just loves it