Snowton and The Addisons

Ask Blog for the Snow!Spamton au. Pfp by Koryabeebee :)

[asksnowton]

❄ It's always...so...cold... ❄

_______________________________

The Snowton au is a Spamton centric deltarune au, where Spamton has the Thorn Ring because he himself has ice powers, infact, he's the current wearer of the ring.

The wears it mainly for the safety of his family.

For more information, please see the "Snowton Lore" tag on the blog :)

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⚠️ WARNING⚠️: THIS BLOG INVOLVES THEMES OF DEPRESSION, TRAUMA, AND SELF HARM.

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❄ RULES ❄

❄No NSFW asks

❄️No M!As (Magical Anons)

❄You will not be drawn into the story, please don't expect to be.

❄Have fun!

____________________

❄CHARACTERS❄

❄ Snowton

❄ Swatch

❄ Vi

❄ Poppy

❄ Banner

❄Vey

🔒 ❄ ? ? ?

🔒 ❄ ? ? ?

____________________

OPEN FOR ASKS:

Spamton, Poppy, Vey, Vi

OPEN FOR ASKS (SNOWTENNA EVENT):

Tenna, Spamton, Ramb, Queen, Lanino, Elnina

____________________

(Wanna know how the characters are currently feeling towards askers? Here's where to find out!)

Relationship Status:

Snowton: Wary (0/10 Animosity) (0/10 Appreciation)

Vi: Neutral (0/10 Animosity) (0/10 Appreciation)

Swatch: Slightly Wary (0/10Animosity) (0/10 Appreciation)

Poppy: Disgusted (1/10 Animosity) (0/10 Appreciation)

Banner: Welcoming (0/10 Animosity) (0/10 Appreciation)

Vey: Neutral (0/10 Animosity) (0/10 Appreciation)

Click here to read the story in order.

[asksnowton]

I just want to say that I feel exactly like you have. It has made fandom a lot less fun for me, and it distresses me a lot. It sucks fucking ass because fandom and special interests are my lifeblood, and I can tell that you're the same. Even if the origins of my distress around it come from another fandom: I see you. No matter what I try to think I feel like "one of the bad ones" as well and I'm glad I'm not the only one, honestly. That anon is absolutely right about it being awful and it's the absolute worst because it's nobody's fault... Not even your own. You can just hope it'll go away.

I wish your father well

Gattocatto,,, hiii!!! Heeyyy

It actually makes me feel a lot better to know I'm not alone in this feeling, and that my mutuals feel it too, even if it's for another fandom.

It's a feeling that makes you feel so incredibly lonely, and like you can't talk to anyone because you're, as you said "one of the bad ones"

It sucks

It suck sooooo bad

I think I'm feeling a little better now though. Dunno how long that'll last, but I might as well enjoy this "okay" feeling while it's here

[asksnowton]

I hope you don’t mind a lurker chiming in, but I saw your post and wanted to say that you’re not irrational or cringe or anything for the way you’re feeling. That suffocating pressure is real.

I went through something similar in a different fandom, though I can’t even imagine what it’s like for as big of a fandom as deltarune. But I know that same feeling. How it starts out as people just wanting to share really cool details they noticed and then it transforms into “everyone has to portray it this way or you’re not doing the characters right” and “if you do too much of xyz content then you don’t Really like the characters, you just like that one part of them” and the usual “if you like the characters doing this thing without any nuance, you’re Evil and Bad.” And that pressure you feel to make sure you’re doing the characters right by the fandom’s rules and that you’re not one of the Bad Ones is so awful and exhausting and I’m genuinely So Sorry you’re going through that. Especially when you’re not feeling your best mental health wise.

Do what you need to and look after yourself. Everyone will understand. And regardless of whatever you decide to do, I want to tell you that people Do care about you and there are people who like what YOU make, regardless of what the “fandom rules” say.

Wishing you the best from the internet space.

yeah

That is the exact fandom rabbit hole I went down. The way you described how people talk about it is literally perfect lol

It happened gradually, but eventually it just became too much.

Anyway, if this was all I had to say I wouldn't be coming here and answering this to be honest, but I kinda have a mini life update

Nothing that's related to this.

Just stuff with really bad timing.

I really don't want this to sound like a pity party, or an "oh woe is me" type of shit, but like

Y'know

I think I have to get it off my chest, and also tell in case it takes longer for me to come back.

basically, my Dad is in the hospital.

I woke up. Literally WOKE UP. To my sister opening my door, and telling me "you might wanna say goodbye to Dad, he's going to the hospital." I shot up outta bed because I'm like WTF DO YOU MEAN??? and she told me "he can't move again"

So I'm worried as fuck, and I take my sick ass out of bed even though I can hardly find the strength to walk, and I start walking to my dad's room because my dad

That's my dad

Dad

Dad

But there are already a few paramedics in the way, and talking to him. So I could see him through the door way but I couldn't get to him.

I ended up having to go back to my room to make room for them to take him away.

My dad is a big man, and it takes a lot of force to move him, but the problem with that is, he's got injuries that are sore that made him this way, as well as bad joints.

So he can't move.

But the paramedics have to move him.

I go to my room, and curl up to my friend, and all I hear is my Dad screaming

It travels throughout the house.

Then to the front door.

Then oustide of the front door and outside of my window

And I just try to curl up and disappear and block out the noise because it's just all too much

It's too much man.

And it's not the first time. But that doesn't make it any easier. That's still my dad. I hate seeing him in pain. I hate hearing him in pain.

I can't fucking do this man

[asksnowton]

update: my dad is home.

He's still in pain, and he still can't move without assistance, but they released him for some reason

I heard my mom say that there was nothing that they could really do for him.

That sucks. And I hate to see him in pain. But at least I don't have to worry about him being alone and cold, and a lot of the times, mistreated, in the hospital.

[asksnowton]

I hope you don’t mind a lurker chiming in, but I saw your post and wanted to say that you’re not irrational or cringe or anything for the way you’re feeling. That suffocating pressure is real.

I went through something similar in a different fandom, though I can’t even imagine what it’s like for as big of a fandom as deltarune. But I know that same feeling. How it starts out as people just wanting to share really cool details they noticed and then it transforms into “everyone has to portray it this way or you’re not doing the characters right” and “if you do too much of xyz content then you don’t Really like the characters, you just like that one part of them” and the usual “if you like the characters doing this thing without any nuance, you’re Evil and Bad.” And that pressure you feel to make sure you’re doing the characters right by the fandom’s rules and that you’re not one of the Bad Ones is so awful and exhausting and I’m genuinely So Sorry you’re going through that. Especially when you’re not feeling your best mental health wise.

Do what you need to and look after yourself. Everyone will understand. And regardless of whatever you decide to do, I want to tell you that people Do care about you and there are people who like what YOU make, regardless of what the “fandom rules” say.

Wishing you the best from the internet space.

yeah

That is the exact fandom rabbit hole I went down. The way you described how people talk about it is literally perfect lol

It happened gradually, but eventually it just became too much.

Anyway, if this was all I had to say I wouldn't be coming here and answering this to be honest, but I kinda have a mini life update

Nothing that's related to this.

Just stuff with really bad timing.

I really don't want this to sound like a pity party, or an "oh woe is me" type of shit, but like

Y'know

I think I have to get it off my chest, and also tell in case it takes longer for me to come back.

basically, my Dad is in the hospital.

I woke up. Literally WOKE UP. To my sister opening my door, and telling me "you might wanna say goodbye to Dad, he's going to the hospital." I shot up outta bed because I'm like WTF DO YOU MEAN??? and she told me "he can't move again"

So I'm worried as fuck, and I take my sick ass out of bed even though I can hardly find the strength to walk, and I start walking to my dad's room because my dad

That's my dad

Dad

Dad

But there are already a few paramedics in the way, and talking to him. So I could see him through the door way but I couldn't get to him.

I ended up having to go back to my room to make room for them to take him away.

My dad is a big man, and it takes a lot of force to move him, but the problem with that is, he's got injuries that are sore that made him this way, as well as bad joints.

So he can't move.

But the paramedics have to move him.

I go to my room, and curl up to my friend, and all I hear is my Dad screaming

It travels throughout the house.

Then to the front door.

Then oustide of the front door and outside of my window

And I just try to curl up and disappear and block out the noise because it's just all too much

It's too much man.

And it's not the first time. But that doesn't make it any easier. That's still my dad. I hate seeing him in pain. I hate hearing him in pain.

I can't fucking do this man

[asksnowton]

hi guys.

it's arrow.

the cringe blog isn't deleted. just private, and locked with a password.

though I am heavily contemplating deleting it.

I want to delete it

Unfortunately, deleting my custom blog that I've had since I was a teenager isn't really as simple as just pressing a button.

I mean it is.

But there's so much to think about behind that decison. And maybe some of what I feel is from me being sick, and admittedly, off my medication, for the past few days.

I have a lot to say before I leave things as they are.

I suppose you can take this as a confession of sorts.

Like I said in the pinned post of my blog, I'm extremely sensitive

Over the time of me being in the spamtenna side of the fandom— I've absorbed a lot of things, and internalized a lot of things.

And even though I know none of it could possibly be direct towards me specifically, I still found myself internalizing certain criticisms.

Of how to portray the ship, the nuances behind it, the characters, how they act, etc.

and I know everybody has their preferences.

But I have found myself feeling bad about how I portray the ship compared to other creators.

Who portray them with such beautiful complexity, that explores the range of emotions of like.

Loving someone. Losing them. Feeling anger. But still wanting them. The mourning of a relationship lost.

People make such beautiful stories and works of art surrounded these nusances and depth of emotions.

And I've seen the occasional opinion of. People expressing their distaste of portrayals that brush over that side of their relationship—

The anger, the sadness, the betrayal, which is essential to their dynamic.

(keep in mind. This isn't. Directed towards anybody particular, or any particular post. I couldn't pin point a user or post if I tried. Or even quote or paraphrase wtf I'm talking about. cause I read the shit, and immediately tried to push it out of my mind, but I internalized it anyway, oops.)

I suppose, being someone who mainly draws and portrays fluff between the two, I, for some reason or another, internalized that as being criticism directed towards me specifically.

In reality, I know that can't be the case. I know people are just talking about their personal taste, on their personal blogs, in which they can express their tastes.

But idk.

I know it's irrational.

And it's absolutely nobody's fault except my own.

But I just feel this weird looming feeling of inadequacy and dread hanging over me. It makes it hard for me to create. Makes it hard for me to like or reblog anything as well. My anxiety is making it hard for me to enjoy the fandom space—

I'm trying to be true to myself and create things that make me happy...

But it's hard.

Idk it's just really hard.

Like so hard.

When I see things that are so much better than mine, and stumble across opinions that express dislike of the things I like to create.

I feel this weird pressure to either make things more like the things people like, or stop posting.

Even when I was keeping up with my medication and in a better headspace, this feeling was so large and crushing

It's suffocating

I try to tell myself "Holy shit, two cakes" and "I'm just playing with my toys" etc, all that good Tumblr motivational fandom stuff

But it's just not fucking working.

Especially combined with the struggle of— not even wanting to exist anymore in the first place.

Which I'm trying to keep separate from the rest of this.

It's not like. The previous stated stuff CAUSED my suicidal struggle.

I've struggled with suicidal thoughts for most of my life.

This is just. Stuff that's piled on top of it. Like a little extra surprise on top of my usual depression.

Anyway what I'm saying is like. It's hard to wanna keep creating and interacting when I've internalized so much negativity, and when, on top of that, I struggle to even want to continue exist.

It feels like everything I make is a bother. It feels like my existence online is a bother.

How can anything I make be enough when I am not enough?

If I delete my blog I can't tell you if I'll continue to live afterwards.

That's probably going to scare some people.

I don't know.

Maybe it won't.

It probably won't.

I don't know if I can find it in me to care right now.

What the hell does it even matter

Y'know?

And this will sound so pathetic, and like "touch grass" and I promise I do touch grass, I go outside, I talk to my family and friends, but even still, my comfort characters, my art, my stories, that's it.

That's my lifeline.

I'm hanging on by a thread, and yes I have people irl who care about me. But when you're like me and you're scared everyone hates you you don't really tell them everything.

And y'know, on that note, my friend who's with me right now has been saying over and over "I'm worried about you" and "are you okay?" for the past few days. And it's been really confusing.

I don't feel any different, and yet he's so concerned.

Well. Like I mean I feel bad mentally but that's not. New?

Idk why I'm typing this.

Tldr;

I'm stupid. My blog is fine. I'm fine for now.

Just need time to think and make my decision.

"Do I stick it out or do I finally disappear?" That's what I'm asking myself"

We'll see

[alyx-aizawa]

If you feel like the fandom experience is draining or is making your mental health worse, then you should do what you can to take care of yourself first and foremost. The suffocating feeling sounds awful, I'm sorry you have to go through that.

I think your contribution to the spamtenna fandom is extremely appreciated. The popular opinion is that the ship is supposed to be toxic, it's supposed to be messy and that's fine but what I truly enjoy and I'm sure what others do as well, is when those characters are truly happy with each other. Those moments of fluff make it all worth it. It creates an eye in the storm for the ship to rest, to gather itself back up. You deliver that constantly and that's why you are one of my absolute favorite spamtenna blogs.

"It's probably going to scare some people. I don't know. Maybe it won't. It probably won't" I cried for about 2 hours after I realized the blog was just gone, I was panicking and concerned. I was a shaking mess and I didn't want to go back to what I was doing before because it felt rude. It sounds so silly considering I don't know you at all but I was so worried something had happened.

It's not pathetic. You're not pathetic for your lifeline being your creations. It's not pathetic to be scared to trust after being hurt. That feeling of everyone secretly hating you, it's terrifying. I know that feeling and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. That feeling, it makes you omit the truth, makes you lie to trying to make others feel better, to try and make yourself look as perfect as possible so they won't throw you away.

If you boil it down to the very core, it is your brain trying to survive, it is your brain being so scared of rejection it will do anything. Thats something that can change if you put in the effort. You have value, you have worth. Even if you never contribute to society at all, your life matters so goddamn much okay?

I don't care if that's weird, I don't care if it's strange that I'm reaching out towards some words on my screen. Because I know there's a person behind them and that person deserves the kindness and respect they give others. They deserve to know they are not alone. You've brightened my day countless times, let me do the same for yours.

So thank you for being here, thank you for existing, thank you for putting thoughts into words that I can relate to, thanks for making things that cheer people up, thanks for creating ideas that inspire, thanks for spreading positivity about disabilities and trans identities. Thank you.

[asksnowton]

hi guys.

it's arrow.

the cringe blog isn't deleted. just private, and locked with a password.

though I am heavily contemplating deleting it.

I want to delete it

Unfortunately, deleting my custom blog that I've had since I was a teenager isn't really as simple as just pressing a button.

I mean it is.

But there's so much to think about behind that decison. And maybe some of what I feel is from me being sick, and admittedly, off my medication, for the past few days.

I have a lot to say before I leave things as they are.

I suppose you can take this as a confession of sorts.

Like I said in the pinned post of my blog, I'm extremely sensitive

Over the time of me being in the spamtenna side of the fandom— I've absorbed a lot of things, and internalized a lot of things.

And even though I know none of it could possibly be direct towards me specifically, I still found myself internalizing certain criticisms.

Of how to portray the ship, the nuances behind it, the characters, how they act, etc.

and I know everybody has their preferences.

But I have found myself feeling bad about how I portray the ship compared to other creators.

Who portray them with such beautiful complexity, that explores the range of emotions of like.

Loving someone. Losing them. Feeling anger. But still wanting them. The mourning of a relationship lost.

People make such beautiful stories and works of art surrounded these nusances and depth of emotions.

And I've seen the occasional opinion of. People expressing their distaste of portrayals that brush over that side of their relationship—

The anger, the sadness, the betrayal, which is essential to their dynamic.

(keep in mind. This isn't. Directed towards anybody particular, or any particular post. I couldn't pin point a user or post if I tried. Or even quote or paraphrase wtf I'm talking about. cause I read the shit, and immediately tried to push it out of my mind, but I internalized it anyway, oops.)

I suppose, being someone who mainly draws and portrays fluff between the two, I, for some reason or another, internalized that as being criticism directed towards me specifically.

In reality, I know that can't be the case. I know people are just talking about their personal taste, on their personal blogs, in which they can express their tastes.

But idk.

I know it's irrational.

And it's absolutely nobody's fault except my own.

But I just feel this weird looming feeling of inadequacy and dread hanging over me. It makes it hard for me to create. Makes it hard for me to like or reblog anything as well. My anxiety is making it hard for me to enjoy the fandom space—

I'm trying to be true to myself and create things that make me happy...

But it's hard.

Idk it's just really hard.

Like so hard.

When I see things that are so much better than mine, and stumble across opinions that express dislike of the things I like to create.

I feel this weird pressure to either make things more like the things people like, or stop posting.

Even when I was keeping up with my medication and in a better headspace, this feeling was so large and crushing

It's suffocating

I try to tell myself "Holy shit, two cakes" and "I'm just playing with my toys" etc, all that good Tumblr motivational fandom stuff

But it's just not fucking working.

Especially combined with the struggle of— not even wanting to exist anymore in the first place.

Which I'm trying to keep separate from the rest of this.

It's not like. The previous stated stuff CAUSED my suicidal struggle.

I've struggled with suicidal thoughts for most of my life.

This is just. Stuff that's piled on top of it. Like a little extra surprise on top of my usual depression.

Anyway what I'm saying is like. It's hard to wanna keep creating and interacting when I've internalized so much negativity, and when, on top of that, I struggle to even want to continue exist.

It feels like everything I make is a bother. It feels like my existence online is a bother.

How can anything I make be enough when I am not enough?

If I delete my blog I can't tell you if I'll continue to live afterwards.

That's probably going to scare some people.

I don't know.

Maybe it won't.

It probably won't.

I don't know if I can find it in me to care right now.

What the hell does it even matter

Y'know?

And this will sound so pathetic, and like "touch grass" and I promise I do touch grass, I go outside, I talk to my family and friends, but even still, my comfort characters, my art, my stories, that's it.

That's my lifeline.

I'm hanging on by a thread, and yes I have people irl who care about me. But when you're like me and you're scared everyone hates you you don't really tell them everything.

And y'know, on that note, my friend who's with me right now has been saying over and over "I'm worried about you" and "are you okay?" for the past few days. And it's been really confusing.

I don't feel any different, and yet he's so concerned.

Well. Like I mean I feel bad mentally but that's not. New?

Idk why I'm typing this.

Tldr;

I'm stupid. My blog is fine. I'm fine for now.

Just need time to think and make my decision.

"Do I stick it out or do I finally disappear?" That's what I'm asking myself"

We'll see

[asksnowton]

I find it really funny that you came up with the idea for Snowton to be a Weatherman/TV Star 4 years ago well before Tenna ever came into the picture. It lined up so perfectly, you hardly have to change any of the established lore!

(. . . Are you secretly a psychic? A time traveler, perhaps? /j /silly)

HEHEHEHEHE

No but it's kinda weird

I tend to have a knack for unintentionally doing things that vaguely predict canon,,, but it's usually all in private or spoken convos. Trust me, it's a weird pattern.

Like you said though, I'm just lucky I don't have to change much of the Snowton lore!!!

Definitely not anything special though, I WISH I was a psychic 😭

[asksnowton]

I have not forgotten about the au... Or the Snowtenna event....

My brain...

Simply has the zoomies....

[asksnowton]

Sorry about the delay! I went to a con for 3 days, and that took a lot out of me

I plan to start sketching responses again soon!

[asksnowton]

Mr. Snowton, what is your scientific opinion on the phrase, "love is in the air"? Is it really possible for certain kinds of weather to make people feel more... emotionally open?

*Love is in the air

*It flurries and dances like delicate crystals in the cold

*You're filled with the power of Christmas Specials

[asksnowton]

Snowton i love you please dont die for three months. /silly

*He doesn't even know what you're talking about, but somehow you get the sense that the idea appeals to him somehow.

[asksnowton]

Snowton... Don't you wonder about what they will think, seeing you on TV?

*Spamton grimaces. Part of him knows they won't be happy for him... But he pushes that thought down.

*He's doing this for them.

*They have to know that...

*... Right?

[asksnowton]

Tenna, for absolutely no particular reason... what are your thoughts on divorce?

*Tenna shuffles around the break room area with his mugs nervously

Tenna: I thought I was the gameshow host! Shouldn't I be asking the questions here?

*Tenna takes pause before speaking.

Tenna: I mean-... It's a necessary course of action for some people... but it can also... hurt a lot too.

* . . .

*Seems that's all he's willing to say on the matter.

[asksnowton]

New responses have been sketched up

Feel free to send more asks, I'm having a lot of fun with this 🫶🏾

[asksnowton]

responses are being colored, should be ready to post soon!

[asksnowton]

New responses have been sketched up

Feel free to send more asks, I'm having a lot of fun with this 🫶🏾

[asksnowton]

I need to redo my Snow au Ramb design it's actually really ugly 😭

[asksnowton]

Queen, are there any programs in particular that you prefer?

Queen: I SHOULD SEE IF THAT TV CAN PUT ON THAT FIRST SHOW THAT WOULD BE SO SICK HAHA