Ask the Catholic

Got questions?

[askthecatholic]

"Unless you teach your moods 'where they get off', you can never be either a sound Christian or even a sound atheist, but just a creature dithering to and fro, with its beliefs really dependent on the weather and the state of its digestion. One must train the habit of faith."

C.S. Lewis

[askthecatholic]

We are God’s creative works in process. God alone knows what we shall become. What might He have in store in the fullness of our time? In the beginning, God created Light. In Mary, God became flesh. What will God become in us this Advent?

Thomas Hoffman

[askthecatholic]

The ashes mean I'm a sinner, but the cross means I have a savior.

Fr. Mike Schmitz

[askthecatholic]

Welcome to Lent! This is a beautiful reflection by Father Mike Schmitz about WHY we receive ashes.

[askthecatholic]

The voice comes in the middle of the night or the early hours of the morning, when our hearts are most unedited and vulnerable… There is something missing… You were made for something more. You know it.

Brent Curtis

[askthecatholic]

We’ve Been Here Before: Marriage and the Room of Tears | Word on Fire

One reason the Supreme Court's decision has been rather shocking to American Catholics is that we have had, at least for the last century or so, a fairly benign relationship with the environing culture. But now the Church finds itself opposed by the ideology of secularism.

“So what do we do? We continue to put forth our point of view winsomely, invitingly, and non-violently, loving our opponents and reaching out to those with whom we disagree. As St. John Paul II said, the Church always proposes, never imposes. And we take a deep breath, preparing for what could be some aggression from the secular society, but we take courage from a great cloud of witnesses who have gone before us. The Church has faced this sort of thing before—and we’re still standing.”

[askthecatholic]

I'm very catholic as well and the recent SCOTUS ruling has been difficult. I'm afraid for the future and I've started realizing how alone I am in thinking this way... there's my family sure, but even most of my "catholic" friends are celebrating it. It would be so easy to just go with the flow but I can't do it. I've been upset and alone all day. How does one handle this? It feels really hopeless.

First, please don’t feel alone or hopeless! Next, a word from our sponsor :)

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.” - John 14:27

Jesus said that. And as difficult as that may seem (coming from a fellow worrier, here!) faith and trust are truly the only ways to deal with the world we live in. Our hearts should not be troubled, but that does not mean burying our heads in the sand, nor does it mean angrily protesting. If you get right down to it, marriage has been in crisis mode since no-fault divorce was established as the law of of land. And it’s important to remember that the Catholic sacrament of holy matrimony has not been changed by the SCOTUS ruling.

As for how we should proceed? LOVE. Obviously, if you are prompted, you should be able to defend Church teaching with logic and charity, but we need not go out of our way to cause discord. Rather, as Catholics, we should focus on creating healthy relationships, marriages, and families in our own lives. Authentic and loving witnesses do far more for our cause than angry debates ever will. And prayer! When you feel upset or concerned about your friends and neighbors, pray for them! It does far more than we even realize.

The world, made up of flawed humans, will always be chaotic. But truth, goodness, and beauty can always be found too. In that verse from John, Jesus is explains that he gives us peace that the world cannot. Have faith in those words and take them to heart. In spite of sin and hatred, God is still working in our lives!

In other words, keep the faith (and hope and love!)

[askthecatholic]

If a person is homosexual but he/she has never dated anyone or done anything with a person of his/her same sex, can he/she become a monk/friar/nun?

Yes. And further, even if said person has sinned, if they have sought forgiveness in the sacrament of reconciliation, they are forgiven. A sinful past doesn’t prevent you from a holy future!

To go off on a bit of a tangent, I’m sure that with everything in the news recently, many people are getting the sense that all Catholics care about is the gay issue, that same-sex marriage is wrong, people are sinning, etc etc etc. I don’t blame anyone if they’re thinking that. In fact, I want to apologize for any hatred you’ve encountered from Catholics about this- agree or disagree, we are called to love first and above all else.

Relating back to your question, I’d like to let everyone in on a not-so-secret but little known fact: it doesn’t matter who you’re attracted to. Let me rephrase- human beings are made up of SO MUCH MORE than the details of who they are attracted to. Same-sex attraction doesn’t preclude you from joy and it certainly cannot prevent you from holiness. We need holy men and women in the religious life now more than ever, so if you feel called, it’s up to you to discern whether a religious vocation is right for you!

EDIT: It obviously does depend on the person, order, and situation (with ANYONE, regardless of orientation). But if you do feel called, I encourage you to seek spiritual direction and guidance!

[askthecatholic]

When freedom does not have a purpose, when it does not wish to know anything about the rule of law engraved in the hearts of men and women, when it does not listen to the voice of conscience, it turns against humanity and society.

Pope Saint John Paul II

[askthecatholic]

Be attentive to the voice of grace.

St. Elizabeth Ann Seton

[askthecatholic]

Is it okay to be angry at God?

Yes. A few years ago I was in a bad place, so talked to a priest friend about this and he smiled and said, “God is bigger than your anger. He can handle it. ” Basically what he meant is that we should always be honest with God in prayer. God created us with emotions and he is not afraid of them! Usually, if I bring my anger (or sadness, frustration, etc.) to God, it is not long before he finds a way to lessen it. 

Don’t be afraid of your anger, because God isn’t. He can take it.

[askthecatholic]

First of all I want to apologize for my english. Then I wanted to ask, what to do when you're losing your faith? I've started reading the Bible and I never felt so discouraged. Rape, child abuse... Also I see many people (non-christian) saying that you can't believe in God AND be gay because you're contradicting yourself (there's a homosexual in my family). Not to mention the whole "God loves everyone, but have killed millions of His children"...I kind of don't know what to do anymore...

No need to apologize, your English is great! 

I think we often think of faith as an end-goal. As though one day, eventually, everything will click and fall into place and we will have unshakable faith. That could not be farther from reality. Faith is a journey filled with ups and downs. There will always be things along the path that challenge our faith- the trick is overcoming them. 

As far as the God of the Old Testament is concerned, at first pass, you are right- things sounded pretty bleak back then. I felt the same way until I was fortunate enough to participate in bible studies that helped to open my eyes to the real meanings and context behind the Old Testament scriptures. To write a treatise about this would take days and far more expertise than I could hope to offer you, but I will recommend reading “Walking with God” by Tim Gray & Jeff Cavins and/or “A Father Who Keeps His Promises” by Scott Hahn. Both books do a great job of filling in the blanks and bringing hope and light to a seemingly dark chapter in salvation history.

Lastly, belief in God and same-sex attraction are not mutually exclusive. And it is NOT A SIN to be attracted to members of the same sex. The morality of SSA gets a little thornier when we start to talk about extramarital sex and the notion of gay marriage, but the bottom line is unchanged- God infinitely loves each one of his creations, gay or otherwise, and he wants us to love him back.

[askthecatholic]

Ok so I went to confession today and confessed a mortal sin. However I was really nervous during confession and completely forgot to confess that i received communion during my state of mortal sin. Am I still in the state of mortal sin?

Nope :) As long as you honestly forgot to mention it and weren’t withholding it on purpose, you are in the clear! We all get flustered in confession from time to time so I often like to end by saying, “For these, and all of my sins, I am sorry” in case I’ve forgotten anything.

It’s also important to remember that God isn’t sitting in heaven with a checklist of our sins, waiting for us to miss one so he can declare our confession invalid. It’s tempting to see him that way! But God is love, and we know he simply wants us to come to him in the sacrament to ask for his forgiveness… and it’s ours. That’s kind of amazing when you think about it!

[askthecatholic]

Are we not perhaps all afraid in some way? If we let Christ enter fully into our lives, if we open ourselves totally to him, are we not afraid that He might take something away from us? Are we not perhaps afraid to give up something significant, something unique, something that makes life so beautiful? Do we not then risk ending up diminished and deprived of our freedom? . . . No! If we let Christ into our lives, we lose nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing of what makes life free, beautiful and great. No! Only in this friendship are the doors of life opened wide. Only in this friendship is the great potential of human existence truly revealed. Only in this friendship do we experience beauty and liberation. And so, today, with great strength and great conviction, on the basis of long personal experience of life, I say to you, dear young people: Do not be afraid of Christ! He takes nothing away, and he gives you everything. When we give ourselves to him, we receive a hundredfold in return. Yes, open, open wide the doors to Christ – and you will find true life. Amen.

Pope Benedict XVI, from his inaugural homily in 2005

[askthecatholic]

What do you do when you've hit rock bottom? You've fallen back to the same sin over and over. You have become a slave to the sin. I feel so hopeless and numb! I just don't know what to say or pray anymore.

Confession, confession, confession.

I know it sounds kind of ridiculous, especially once you’ve become numb to a particular sin… but even if you don’t feel like it will help, get to confession! 

I once confessed a similar situation to a priest, and kind of threw my hands in the air and said, “I honestly don’t know why I’m here! I had to force myself to even walk through the door today.” And he smiled and said, “Sometimes, we pray with our actions more than we pray with our minds. You coming to confession today was a prayer.” What we do matters. Even when you feel hopeless, God’s love isn’t dependent on our feelings. He loves and forgives regardless of the guilt we may or may not feel. So go confess, ask for some advice, and try again. If you fall, confess again. And so on. Eventually, you might be surprised to find that the graces bestowed on you in the sacrament of Reconciliation are helping you to overcome this sin.

Think of it this way. When you wash your car, you take extra good care of it. You swerve to avoid mud puddles, you keep the interior clean and free of trash. But let’s say one day, you run through the puddle. Suddenly, your car is no longer clean and it doesn’t seem to matter what you do to it. Before long, you’re tossing trash in the backseat, there’s dirt all over your windshield, and you are sitting in a mess. But if you were to regularly get your car washed, this whole mess could be avoided. Even if you DO accidentally hit that puddle, you can wash it away before things get worse. See where I’m going with this? It’s an imperfect metaphor, but our souls are kind of the same way. If we regularly get to confession, we actually sin less over time. But if we fall and avoid “cleaning” for weeks, months, years… we are stuck in a mess. Luckily, getting to confession is as easy as running through a car wash :) And infinitely better for you!

[askthecatholic]

So I'm a baby Catholic after a recent conversion from Atheism with a dark dark past. I want to know what the Church says about self harm and suicide attempts. I have done research and know they do not condone it and that they say that it is in fact a grave sin. In a lot of my research it's been said that this sin is one that cannot be forgiven and casts me away from God and yet the church says all sins are forgiven. Could you please explain this?

Firstly, welcome! It always amazes me how God can change hearts and bring members of his flock home. You ask an interesting question, which is good! Asking questions is an essential part of the faith journey. Please, please, never stop asking questions.

On a basic, catechetic level, suicide = murder. Murder = grave sin = no bueno. 

But there is SO MUCH MORE to the story. People who struggle with depression and self-harm are not doing it on purpose! Mental state is of immense importance when we consider whether an action is sinful or not. If a person is depressed, it lessens their culpability. They are not considering suicide as murder, it feels like the only way out of a hopeless situation (for anyone reading, it is NOT the only way out!) I am so grateful that you are still with us- it sounds like God has big plans for your life. 

Ultimately, when it comes down to it, things are not so black and white. Yes, suicide is a grave matter, and It’s important to take any concerns to confession and/or spiritual direction and get some advice and support. But God is the only one who truly knows your heart, and from what it sounds like to me, you are seeking him earnestly.

The only sins that can’t be forgiven are the ones we don’t ask forgiveness for! And the only thing that can cast you away from God is asking him to cast you away. As long as you are alive and breathing and seeking forgiveness, he is waiting for you with open arms. He loves you infinitely, regardless of your past. Hold on to that truth. You are loved and you are forgiven.

[askthecatholic]

How does the Catholic understanding of the authority of God/Scripture/Church relationship work? Asking as an evangelical who has asked the se question of several Catholic friends but never received an answer (:

I’ll do my best! In simple terms, God used men as instruments to write down his sacred words (Scripture). As we know, he even sent his son to fulfill the promises made to the Old Testament fathers and redeem us from sin and death. This saving action was also committed to the written word so that we would know what God has done for us, and continue to worship, love, and serve him. 

The thing is, the written word is a tricky thing. Context is EVERYTHING, and every person who reads Scripture can interpret things in a different and/or problematic way. Luckily for us, Jesus established Peter (and the succession of popes following, all the way up to Pope Francis today) as the Rock on which he built his universal Church (Mt. 16:18). This means that the Pope/Church/Magisterium was established by God to help us know and rightly interpret the word of God. Without this unifying teaching body, the misinterpretation of Scripture leads to painful factions and divisions among the other Christian denominations. 

As far as authority goes, God is the ultimate authority (I think we agree on this point!), but within the Catholic Church, there is a threefold relationship between Scripture, Tradition, & the Magisterium. The Magisterium (the bishops & the pope) does not edit or change the scriptures, rather, they are essentially there to ensure that we are getting it right.

I apologize if that was too simplistic. If you are looking for more detailed explanations, I have other sources I’d be happy to point you toward. But thank you for asking and for your patience in awaiting my answer! :) 

God bless you!