Lily Evans to Sirius Black: do u think i should get a fringe
Sirius Black: depends if u want james to fuck you again
Lily Evans: a fringe wont effect my GREAT boobs
Lily Evans: ive rung mar im doing it anyway get fucked
Sirius Black: have fun becoming a born again virgin just to spite me
“Do you think Jane Austen could’ve written more convincingly about love if she’d been married?”
Sirius, lying on his bed scrolling through Twitter and ignoring Remus’ emails, didn’t look up.
“Jane Austen,” Lily flopped onto the bed and made Sirius drop his phone down the side of it. “I’ve just read the most infuriating article”
Sirius, phoneless, not quite ready to let the joke go: “Jane Offramp, did you say?”
“- think you have to married to write about love? Is it a fucking prerequisite? And what does ‘write convincingly about love’ even mean? Like Sense and Sensibility isn’t fucking incredible-”
Lily turned to him, “I know you read the book.” He had, but only because it was cheaper than getting Lily a birthday present last year.
“He said Sense and Sensibility would’ve been more convincing if Jane was married?”
“Yes. I mean, I’m paraphrasing, but yes.”
“No. Do you listen when I talk?”
“Pity. Maybe then you’d be better at pub quizzes.”
“One time!” Sirius shoved his hand down the side of the bed, grasping for the phone, “One fucking quiz! I’d had eleven gins!”
“Seven, at best.” Lily sat up, “I don’t know what to do about this, I’m thinking about scrapping my entire thesis to exclusively write about why this guy sucks one.”
Sirius finally grasped the phone, “That sounds unwise.”
“We won’t know till I’ve tried it.”
“Buzzkill. Go have another gin.”
Sirius Black to Lily Evans: you home for dinner tonight
Sirius Black: im going to combine spaghetti and baked beans in a pot and make spaghetti beans
Sirius Black: ive bought wine
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