The Art of Spanking your Middle
If you’ve known me for longer than 10 seconds, you’ll know I’m a brat. There’s a running joke that punishing me, is not punishing me. At this point I would consider myself a spanking expert, having gone over several hundred different knees in my day (no exaggerating). A few of you (very few) of you may have even gone over mine. The results have been incredibly mixed with everything from laughing at you, to screaming at the top of my lungs, to becoming exhausted because it’s taking so long. Therefore, I will speak to you honestly and from the heart about what your Middle is probably thinking and feeling, but know that spanking is not a science, it’s an art. There is a finesse to it, and you should be tailoring it to the needs of your boy because tastes will vary widely. Not every Middle is a brat and punishment isn’t for everyone, but if it is then I hope this helps! Adults Only 18+. Please and Thank you.
How do you approach the topic of spanking with a Middle?
1. Don’t ask me about my childhood. The answer to your question is obvious. I grew up in the deep rural south in a one-horse rodeo town. You do the math. It’s creepy for you to ask “Got it growing up?” because I did obviously, and I know you’re perving out about it in your head. That’s not inspiring my confidence in meeting with you. I get it though, you’ve got traumas, so do the boys you’re playing with. I understand that it helps to talk about these things sometimes (I’m not your therapist bro), and that spankings are super cathartic (Why else would I do it to myself? Come on now. Think). If you’re one to take a stroll down memory lane, do so with me after our session. How about sharing the experience that’s stuck in your head first, before I tell you mine. You have to give to get. If I just met you, I don’t know you well enough to open up my heart like that, and I probably don’t want to. Maybe that’s just me though. Ask me instead about how I want to be spanked, and maybe I’ll tell you what day I’m trying to recreate for myself. That’s my decision though. Otherwise, the what’s and how’s of my upbringing questions are super creepy. Not to mention it’s totally outside my headspace. I’m still growing up. Asking your Middle to reflect on something that in their roleplay is supposed to be presently or recently occurring, is counterintuitive.
2. “I’m going to spank that ass… and [insert something about fucking you here]”. A charming proposition if you’re a horny twunk on Grndr. That one always makes me smile because I’m immediately thinking, ohhhh you must be new here. That’s just rough sex. We might also enjoy that immensely, but that’s definitely not what Middles are about. I always again take it back to the football coach analogy. Listen to these two scenarios… “Boy, I heard you were causing problems in ___ class today. I’m going to need you to come down to my office so we can have a serious talk about your behavior.” Oh man did you see that? Expertly crafted pickup line. Your Middle just got a huge stiffy in his jock over that one. Compared to yours, the football coach walks in and says “Boy, I’m going to slap that ass red and you can take this dick to pound town”. Crash and burn Maverick. I just lost all love and feeling for you. My reason goes back to my neighbor, bless his heart, Armando. He’s like a latin adonis, but he’ll put a dick in anything that breathes. All I have to say Órale papi. Hoy cena pancho, and I’ll be riding him like a bull at Christmas. Why would I drive an hour across town to your hotel for rough sex, when I can walk next door? For your Middle, anal is a closer. You better satisfy all my other needs first, because once I cum, I’m done. If that’s your opening offer, I’m going to assume you’re impatient and inexperienced and that we’re not on the same page about what this is.
3. Don’t be the overly aggressive daddy. You will catch more flies with honey than vinegar every time. If you come in guns firing telling me you’re going to suspend me upside down from your barn rafters and electroshock my balls while you horsewhip me, I’m going to block you. Well okay maybe not, but I’ll politely decline. Be nice to your Middle. The guy who spanks out of anger has issues, it’s far more effective when you spank with love. We’re not saying to be light with us, we are Middles afterall, you better bring the heat. What I’m telling you is that there is truly nothing more terrifying than the calm and collected daddy who is very disappointed in you and plans to enforce the consequences of his rules. I dare you to speak calmly and softly to me. Whisper it my ear likes it’s a secret that I’m about to get my ass beat and you don’t want the rest of the family to hear. That’s way more powerful than the violent machismo daddy who wants to rip you in half with his schlong after he pulverizes your ass into dust. That’s what gimps are for, and that’s not who most of us are.
4. Okay Marshall you told us what not to do, so what’s a good approach? You can briefly introduce yourself as a dom, but don’t go crazy. “Hey there! I liked your profile. My name is Dildano. I’m a daddy/dom/whatever from Transylvania, and I play with diaperboys/littles/middles like you.” Short and sweet. Let’s me know that you first read my profile (praise be!), and secondly that you might be able to provide for my needs. I’m not creeped out by you yet. Excellent job. The very next thing you should do is ask your middle to tell you about himself. Find an interest, hobby, thing that he cares about and run with it. Even if you’re Googling it as he talks about it, learn something about that. You don’t have to lie to him, just show him that you care enough about him as an individual. He’s telling you about it because it’s important to him. He gets joy in it, takes pride in it. By conversing with him about it, you’re already satisfying his first need as a Middle. That you care about him as a person. Anon kink sex is widely available. If you’re going to roleplay, you must demonstrate your ability to influence my mind first. You’ve got him talking, and you’re feeling good about it. From here you can ask him what he happens to be looking for. Try to let this be a natural flow conversation. From here expand based on cues that he provides you. Chances are high that he will mention that he’s into spanking, but it’s better if he brings it up. That’s when you can start getting into the details about the what, how, how much, how often grit of it. You’re always responding to him though. If he says “yeah I like OTK spankings with the hand”, that’s not the time to say “oh cool here’s a picture of the razor strop I’m going to use on your ass.” You just escalated it way outside of the scope of interest, and now he’s wondering if you’ll respect limits or if you’ll enjoy yourself.
5. You already have a Middle boy. Your relationship is going good, but you think he’s been acting naughty lately, and could use some correction. Maybe this wasn’t a part of your play before, so how do you bring it up now? In this scenario, I would approach it with the idea that you want to start introducing rules into your play, that if broken had consequences that you followed through on with them. “Like what daddy?”. Cool he didn’t shoot you down completely yet. “Well son, I saw you doing [insert naughty bratty thing here], and I think that the next time that you do that you should get a spanking.” At this point he will either look at you crazy and put his foot down as a limit, or he’ll get a boner about it and decide to try it with you.
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How do you spank your Middle?
This can be highly variable, and you are looking to tailor it to his needs and desires. It’s going to be different for every boy, and of course you will have different methods that you enjoy.
Sensual spankings are going to be less common in roleplay. If all you are going to do is “slap slap fuck” that’s just rough sex. If your Middle is advising this, they’re not really that into spanking play. They probably have a low tolerance for pain, and they are just doing it to humor you, or to simulate the act of it. If you’re just spanking over the pants, or the underwear, or the diaper, it’s probably foreplay. If that’s what he’s into, great go for it. All too often though, it’s the dominant who is partial to these types of spanking and you leave us super disappointed because we think we’re about to get something else.
There’s been times I laughed at a dom for spanking me like that. I’ve left early a few times because they couldn’t do it for me. I’ve had sessions where I started out as the boy and half-way through ended up becoming the spanker instead. This isn’t the response you want from your Middle. Don’t tip toe with us. Be direct. Be firm. No cute implements that came in your 50 Shades of Gay box kit. If I see some pink fuzzy handcuffs and a daddy’s first crop, I’m out.
The most common type of spanking that your Middle is going to want, is going to be the Dad / Son spanking scenario. For this you’re going to want to have a rule that was broken. Middles are very verbally oriented. Give us the speech. Explain what the rule was, explain how we broke the rule, explain what the consequences are for the rule. Then you’re going to make me repeat it back to you. Your Middles hate that in the best way. “You told me to be home at 10pm. I didn’t get home until 2am. And now I’m going to get a spanking.” Once your boy has verbalized it, his headspace game just increased tenfold. Having to acknowledge our wrongs and then say out loud some childish punishment? Yes please sign me up.
How you establish rules is between you and your boy. There’s two ways that this can happen. You can set up a rule that’s specific to a goal. You and your boy are trying to improve X behavior or achieve X thing. He doesn’t meet his goal, you set up a time to spank him for it. Alternatively, you set up rules that he can break in your presence. That’s how I like to do it. Did you say don’t wet your pants? I’ll literally stand in front of you in my briefs with a smile on my face flooding them. Your move daddy.
For most boys, this is going to be a bare-assed spanking. Professional tip. Play diapers can slide right on down to the ankles, and be hoisted right back up again. You don’t have to wait until changes, or mess with the tapes. Just pull it on down. Being commanded to remove your clothes, is not nearly as fun as having daddy do it for you. I want you to tell me to lift my arms above my head while you pull my shirt off. I want to feel you unbuckle my belt, and struggle to pull my pants down around my now raging hard cock. Take your time. The anticipation of waiting is an added bonus.
Implements are a tricky game for Middles. Not to insult your masculinity, but most of you guys have soft hands. Start there for sure. We like you to get your hands on our ass. It’s intimate, It’s up close and personal. Eventually though you’re going to have to work up to something bigger. There are certain implements of tradition designed to get your point across. The paddle, the belt, the strap, the switch, the hairbrush. If you’re a British daddy you almost certainly have a slipper or a cane in your collection. These are all good prospective choices for your Middle. That’s going to hurt though right? Fuck yeah it is, and we want it to. Many prospective daddy’s out there struggle with going all the way. It’s against your nature to cause harm, and we’re asking you to inflict physical pain on us. Change how you view it. You’re not hurting us, you’re providing a service. You’re giving us what we’re asking for. If your Middle says he wants to cry, but you’re checking in with him every time he yelps, you’re never going to get him there. Don’t ask me if I’m okay! That’s what the safe-word is for. If things are going well, I’m going to be hurting a lot in just the right way. Am I okay? No. Do I want you to stop. No, we have a code word for that.
If you’re going to use an implement make sure you know how to use it. A rookie mistake I see is guys who spank too high. This is dangerous. The kidneys sit up there right above your ass. That’s a no-go zone. The top portion of the ass, particularly the portion near the tailbone, should be avoided. If you’re going to use a swinging implement, you better have good aim. Anticipate movement in your boy and adjust accordingly. If you’re going to use a wood implement, watch that tailbone, spank low. The meaty part of the ass near the bottom and that upper thigh area, that’s where you’re going. Basically at hole level on down. Flexible implements will provide a stinging pain, denser objects like wood will cause a heavier blunt pain that is more likely to result in bruising.
There are two main theories on spanking. Does your boy want it hard and fast or do they want the slow methodical build up? In my opinion, if you opt for hard and fast, you better have me in a solid headspace first. If I’m not used to submitting to you, and you come at me full rapid fire paddle, I’m not going to last long. There is however, a point at which the long buildup can take too long and your boy kind of goes numb to it. Learn to recognize when you hit a lull and take a break. You can always come back to it after corner time. Giving the ass a break is a sign of excellent spankers. Send your boy to time out. Wait awhile, squeeze the cheeks a bit. Then return to the spanking. It will hurt much worse the second time. Trust me. Getting an experienced boy where they want to go is going to take some stamina. When you’re going for the build up, save the woods for last. Hairbrush makes a great closer. They’re heavy enough to bring the pain, but light enough to avoid the dull. If your lexan paddle is thick enough, it will also happily serve this purpose.
Belts, and straps, your swinging implements are popular, but much less personal. It puts a greater distance between you and your boy. This makes it difficult to hold back resistance, or to establish intimacy. Starting by hand gives you a chance to connect a bit first. Make sure you properly care for your leather. Oil it up once in a while. Especially your straps. Make sure your belt is of a reasonable thickness. Don’t come at me with your casual happy hour belt from Dillards okay? My ass will be laughing at you. You’re either a really good belt spanker, or a really terrible one. I’ve found no in between. There are a ton of Middles out there who are looking for a quality belting.
Don’t bring unnatural implements to roleplay with your Middle. Cutting my own switch? Very reminiscent. Getting the belt? Very common. Household objects are what you’re going for mostly. If you show up with a cat-o-nine tails, I’m not a Middle anymore, suddenly I’m an 18th century sailor and that’s not cute. Does your implement pass the football coach / dad test? Or is it fucking creepy?
I follow a rule of three. You can choose three items to spank me with, and after that loses its luster. After that it becomes completely inorganic. Lay a few out and make your boy choose. That can be a fun pre-spank apprehension building tool. Just don’t bring your entire box of spanking instruments. Dad/Son spanking, not let’s try out the whole wall of the dungeon spanking.
Ultimately, spank your Middle like you mean it. You can proceed with us like we know the ritual. There is most likely going to be a power struggle. Your Middle will likely try to bargain or negotiate with you. They’ll protest greatly. “Do I have to? Can’t I just _____ instead? I’m too old for this”. This is where that verbal play becomes super important. We’re not going to like corner time either. It seems beneath us. Make sure you explain why it’s necessary.
The typical Middle spanking is going to leave a deep red ass that typically lasts the rest of the day. If your boy isn’t struggling or shouting out, you haven’t arrived yet. By nature of being a Middle, we’re going to try to outlast you. We’re going to try to be tough about it. You have to break us of that. It doesn’t necessarily mean you need to spank ridiculously hard or more aggressively. Consistency of swats with some space in between does wonders. Alternate between fast and slow. Put some arm into the swing from time to time. Middles are typically not going to put on a show, unless you take them there. My reactions are genuine. If you see tears in my eyes, they’re real. If I yell out, it’s real. If I’m struggling with you, it’s real. If I’m not doing any of those things, I’m just laying there and I’m probably disappointed. Make sure the reaction you’re getting reflects the expectations to be had from it.
I’ve also left sessions that were too heavy, too fast. It’s a spanking not a beating. We’re looking for dad levels, not sadistic dungeon master levels. It’s like Goldilocks and her three ass whoopin’s, this one is too hard, this one is too soft, this one is just right. The preliminary work up is important. Get your boy in the right headspace first. Play in other ways before you go for the big one. A few smaller spanks first for example.
Avoid unnatural positions as well. Laying across the lap, great. Laying across the bed or bent over the bed or desk, great. Bend over a chair, or up against a wall, great. Laying out in a sex swing, not natural. Strapped down to a spanking bench, not natural. Also… Upside down play is high risk. Certain positions like Wheelbarrow, OTK in some cases, and suspension techniques can be dangerous if your boy’s head is down under him too long. Don’t engage in upside down play if you’re not an expert. Just ask yourself WWDD what would dad do?
Be cognizant of the color of the ass. Reds tend to be okay, but the purples, blues, and blacks are signs of bruising. Never draw blood. Avoid repetitious sessions that form welts. If it starts to look too bad, end the session even if the boy hasn’t reached their goal yet. Give them a chance to inspect the condition and decide if they are comfortable with continuing, or if you are for that matter. Also, if you’re going to use judicial implements like cane, tawse, rattan, or prison strap, you better be an expert and so should your boy. These are not for the faint of heart and in the wrong hands these can leave scarring marks. When your boy is horny he might say he wants that, he doesn’t really want it, don’t do that. I’ve got a nice little memento on my ass from a time I went too far. You probably wouldn’t notice it, but I know it’s there and it’s regrettable.
When you’ve finished the spanking you should give the lecture again, and make the boy explain what they are remorseful for and obtain a promise that they will refrain from doing it again in the future. If they refuse to do this or very obviously screw that up, or have an attitude about this, they’re still playing with you and want you to realize they have not learned their lesson and you should keep going. We’ll drop subtle clues like that. If you’re a counter, I’ll miscount on purpose just to start over. Pay attention to his words, expressions, and body language. Don’t forget to be verbal during the spanking as the spanker. Describe your disbelief at how poorly behaved I am and how I need to follow whatever rule that was.
It should also be noted that when someone says they want a disciplinary spanking, or a biblical spanking, that there are certain additional rituals that accompany this process.
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Middles need their space. Corner time after helps. It’s a bit juvenile, but after his spanking he’s not going to want to hug you like a Little might. He’ll probably be a bit resentful and hateful towards you for a while after. Let him work it out on his own. Don’t be over there reassuring your Middle it’s going to be okay, or comfort them. We know we were bad and that we messed up, let us self-regulate and reflect on our behavior. Totally different from your aftercare for Littles.
If you just have to do something, consider a firm handshake from your Middle, or a quick bro-hug. This is not a hold me, cuddle me situation. Just pull my pants back up and send me to the corner.
You might need to leave the room and just let him have his moment to cry it out. Maybe send him to bed early and let him come down to you when he’s ready. Consider this distancing high praise of a job well done. At the conclusion of timeout, let him decide when he is ready to come back to you.
It’s also likely that your boy will not be hard, when his spanking is over. It’s okay. It doesn’t mean he didn’t fucking love it. It’s just a physiological response. He’ll get it back soon enough, don’t worry. If your plan is to have sex after, give it time. If I get spanked the way I wanted to, it’s going to be at least an hour before I’m ready. Don’t worry though, if you did it right, my ass will still be plenty burning when we get to that point.
My typical recovery time from a quality spanking is 3 days. Therefore, in any given weekend you probably get one good session with a middle. You can have smaller sessions of course. Just don’t expect to be going for the gold every day, it’s just not going to happen.
If you see that purple, black, or white surface, you’re looking at bruising. After you’ve exploded a mountain of cum and been brought back to your senses, you might want to put some ice on it to bring the swelling down. Or if you’re like me, you just let it happen because the constant reminder for days gets you hard!
Lastly, it’s common for Middles to want to show off their marks to their friends. “Look what I got from coach” or “look what my dad did when I got home”. Let them have their fun with it, and offer to take pictures for them. Not saying we get spanked for the Instagram likes, but it’s sort of a male bonding ritual for your gay Middles.
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That’s my two-cents anyway. As always stay safe, stay sane, stay consensual, and never fuck a guy who’s in a hurry. If he’s worth it, he’ll wait for it.
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