I had a weird dream last night in which I was on a vacation on some Mediterranean country. Then at a fancy cafe I saw Qui-Gon ordering cold noodle while wearing the most ass-looking outfit ever. Honestly wtf 😭
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@aspen-tree15
I had a weird dream last night in which I was on a vacation on some Mediterranean country. Then at a fancy cafe I saw Qui-Gon ordering cold noodle while wearing the most ass-looking outfit ever. Honestly wtf 😭
here is a fun little star wars scenario that has been pinging around inside my head like a screensaver:
so let’s say there’s some very zealous, very low-ranking fresh young Imperial officer on duty the day they take the Senator from Alderaan into custody.
and he is very very nervous because a) he’s been here for like a week and b) none of that week required him to be in a room with Darth Vader. which he now is. so he is trying to focus very very hard on Doing Everything Exactly According To Protocol, as a means of not focusing on the seven-foot evil wizard standing fifteen feet away.
and part of the protocol for processing new prisoners is to make a new file for them in the prisoner database, and enter all their biographical details and vital statistics and a gene sample and their known associates and the nature of their terrible crimes against the Empire and so on. which he does! very meticulously!
except the computer keeps throwing an error message. the stupid thing keeps beeping at him, this awful grating little noise that makes his shoulders ratchet up tighter and tighter every time it honks at him, and he can’t fix it and Darth Vader is right over there—
except oh god oh fuck the beeping noise must be annoying Darth Vader, too, because he’s coming over here and our poor junior officer is convinced he’s going to die before he even lives long enough to send his first paycheck home to his poor widowed mother —
he stammers out an apology. Vader just stares at him. he swears he’ll figure out the problem right away, sir, it’s probably a bug in the system, it’s just that for some silly reason it keeps saying this gene sample doesn’t match the one on file for the Senator so he can’t get her logged as a new prisoner just yet —
“Dismissed,” says Vader. the poor kid flees, gratefully.
Vader considers the matter. in fact, his underling was correct: the gene sample, which he saw taken through his very own helmet lenses, does not match the official record of Senator Leia Organa, heir to the throne of Alderaan. so: perhaps the sample on record was falsified. not impossible, but very, very difficult. and ordinarily a crime attempted by the lowly and desperate. he cannot see any need for it, in the daughter of a queen.
another possibility presents itself. Alderaan has no history of using royal doubles, as some worlds do. but Bail Organa has worked closely with royal houses where the practice is long-established. perhaps he was inspired. perhaps the girl they captured is not Leia Organa at all.
Vader runs the gene sample against the ship’s database. it is woefully incomplete, of course, containing only a fraction of the Empire’s billions of citizens: the ship’s own complement, a selection of known criminals and Rebels they might encounter, high-ranking officials whose identity must be confirmed should the Emperor require their presence. unlikely that this girl, whoever she is, would have a record here, or even a partial match—
the computer beeps at him. it’s a cheerful beep, this time, not the error message that stymied the junior officer. the computer reports that the gene sample is a partial match for Pooja Naberrie, the Senator from Naboo. they are, with eighty-nine percent probability, first cousins.
and Vader just. kind of stands there. for a minute.
when he goes to Leia’s cell, there’s no interrogation droid with him. he goes in. he shuts the door behind him. he stands there, silent, for frankly a worryingly long time, until Leia has run through her entire stockpile of “how dare you, I’m a member of the Senate on a humanitarian mission” and “whatever you want, you can’t possibly think I would be of any help” and “well, if you’re going to interrogate me, get on with it already” and “are you even listening to me?” and falls silent herself.
Vader has been listening to her. he has also been listening to the Force, which seems to think that she’s not lying. obviously the humanitarian mission part is bullshit, that goes without saying. but the “I’m Senator Leia Organa” parts and the “I won’t help you” parts? yeah. he searched his feelings. he knows them to be true. the Force is singing in his head, bright and clear, in a way it hasn’t for nearly twenty years.
there’s still Tarkin to deal with, though. Vader turns and leaves the cell without a word.
Tarkin wants to blow up Alderaan. this is unacceptable, obviously, and Vader forbids it on the grounds that the Queen and the Viceroy possess vital intelligence, not disclosed to their daughter, that must be acquired. said intelligence being, not that he’s saying this out loud, how the fuck Bail got his hands on his daughter, and who else knows about it.
“the fate of the galaxy rests on it,” is what he does say out loud. from the way the Force harmonizes with his words, that might even be true.
so the Death Star just. parks there. in an incredibly threatening orbit around the planet. they issue a demand that the Organas surrender themselves, or else, but apparently the happy couple just left for a low-tech weekend retreat in the mountains, what awful timing, they’re sending someone to fetch them right away. Vader shuts himself up in his quarters, to seethe and watch the surveillance feed from Leia’s cell. he’s not really paying attention to much else.
and it’s not like a random freighter getting tractored in for being an incredibly obvious smuggling vessel is the kind of thing you’d alert Darth Vader over, anyway.
so he’s still sitting there, one great big thought filling up his whole entire head, watching Leia take a frustration nap, when her cell door opens.
and a trooper comes in.
and the trooper takes off his helmet.
and he says, “I’m Luke Skywalker. I’m here to rescue you.”
what makes this better is obi-wan is on the ship, too. so vader’s interaction with obi-wan would definitely be more so “what the FUCK”
and obi-wan is just like “hello to you too??”
and vader is all shoving fingers in his chest and like “you didn’t think to TELL ME that i had CHILDREN that are ALIVE.”
to which obi-wan replies “the last time i saw you, you said anakin skywalker is dead. so what children do you have?”
to which vader just loses it some more because how has obi-wan not gotten less annoying. meanwhile luke and leia are watching this entire encounter like 🧍🏼♂️🧍🏻♀️
Oh. My. God. I n eeeed this. I cannot tell you how much I need this. I need all of this. Gimme.
Because Luke and Leia watching this showdown can only conclude that Vader and Anakin Skywalker were lovers and/or married and/or in a queer platonic partnership with each other and had CHILDREN together. Luke is obviously one of them (Leia offers her sympathies). They both wonder who the other one could be. They also wonder if Anakin had left Vader to be with Obi-Wan. This is why Vader (pupil of Obi-Wan) killed Anakin, Luke realizes. It was an nasty breakup and Vader killed his ex for running away from him with his kids. Luke wonder’s who his sibling may be.
Like oh my God, this is better than an episode of “Love Under Alderranian Skies”. Who knew Vader had such a dramatic soap opera style personal life?
@arielsojourner
Also Darth Vader/Anakin is so annoyed with this whole situation (Obi Wan) he forgets to take out his lightsaber and he just devolves into plain out (slightly angsty)bickering with Obi Wan again like it’s the clone wars again. He’s arguing like Anakin but with the Darth Vader voice to Obi Wan. And the twins just end up staring at them like, did they forget we are here?
And Obi Wan forgets himself too because he’s just really misses Anakin. Especially arguing with him. For better or worse he missed him.
Like two old guys just who are both very powerful in the force, and they forget that to bicker.
Anakin/Vader saying something like: You always do shit like this. First faking your death, letting the council do that to Ahsoka, and now this! Now taking my children!
Obi Wan: Well I’m sorry should I have left them with the homicidal Sith Lord that destroyed everything!
Anakin/ Vader pointing at him: What like you left me on Mustafar! The least you could have done was had the balls to finish me off. But no you left me stuck like this! With him!
And Leia and Luke are just looking back and fourth between them like a tennis match. It goes on for so long that Han comes back to stand next to them and watch too.
ello!! you are literally SO awesome and inspired me to draw more star wars art!! also it’s almost my friend’s bday… and she told me to ask if you could draw art of the goat obi-wan. if you answer, thank you!! :D
happy birthday to your friend! unfortunately all i could think of while looking at that image was the black swan meme so
I think clone wars dark side anakin is my favorite dark side anakin. because yeah, in the movies, you can tell he's gonna fall. maybe not in the phantom menace, but in attack of the clones and revenge of the sith, it's so obvious! everything about him just oozes both light and dark, the dark steadily winning. but clone wars anakin? clone wars anakin? oh, he's a sun. he's blindingly bright and he's happy. we can go full episodes without a trace of the dark side showing up on his face or in his actions, which makes when he does go dark even more jarring. when he snaps and attacks and the imperial march plays faintly in the background, when not even ten minutes earlier in the episode he was joking around with ahsoka. that is peak dark side anakin to me, because that is what i imagine anakin truly was. happy and fun and then snapping, terrifying. it's why no one believed it when he fell. why obi-wan and padme and ahsoka didn't see it coming.
Why does he walk like that
I keep hearing “grace wears science pun shirts to break the ice with his students” “aww grace wears those shirts to make science more interesting to kids”. Bullshit dude, in all of the classroom scenes he’s wearing business casual. His dumbass science shirts are for the love of the game and nothing else
why is every boreo-related post multi-fandom and/or crossover with something about reddie or byler
some director: okay, we need a kid to play a repressed gay boy who has a crush on his male best friend and maybe daddy issues? man, i don't know who—
finn:
your honor... 🤲🐦⚡️
professor layton spoilers
thinking about hershel and theodore both get adopted au
Des is having a crisis
aka The moment Desmond Sycamore realises he's in too fucking deep after inviting his long-lost brother and said brother's companions on a long globe-trotting adventure in his civilian persona and subsequently bonding with and coming to care about all of them despite his initial plans to use them all as means to an end and betray them eventually for his own revenge plot so he ends up having a mental breakdown over his tea
[based on this video which in turn is based on this and this]
he would LOVE hershels office. let him in there
yeah
Hey, so, have you read Feed and all the Newsflesh books by Mira Grant (aka @seananmcguire)? They're fantastic and I love them and I totally had my heart ripped out and cried several times so much fun! Highly recommended!
HIT THAT SHIT HERSHEL
The lack of sense of humor came with the diploma I think