Onomatopoeia Express

ADHD, ND, aroace, of the female persuasion, sad sometimes, pissed off a lot, into space

[ass-sassafras]

In about a week I will have surgery. Why am I spending most of my time hoping I die on the table? Why am I like this, why can't I just be happy like everyone else?

[ass-sassafras]

So not to overshare, but I'm sitting here alone in my house wondering if it would take the edge off to stick an unloaded gun in my mouth just to see what it feels like, or if it would desensitize me to the sensation and make me more likely to do it for real one day.

I need to relieve this suicidal ideation pressure in my mind but I don't know how. I know it'll pass and blah blah blah but it really fucking sucks to feel this way.

I'm so tired of this shit, why can't I just be normal?

I've tagged this with as many trigger warnings as I could think of, sorry if I missed any

[mfshipbracket]

BONUS ROUND: Aang/Katara (ATLA) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars)

Aang/Katara

Kylo Ren/Rey

Voting ended onMay 23, 2023

[charlesoberonn]

[rettoujoutou-deactivated2025112]

[charlesoberonn]

I just looked through OP's blog and every single poll is a popular m/f ship vs. reylo (with similar results). I don't understand.

[cordezshenanigans]

There was an actual bracket, but reylo got obliterated in round one, and after the poll was done, someone suggested it would be funny to do a "bonus round" where every tournament contestant is pitted against reylo to see how many ships, if any, reylo can beat

[charlesoberonn]

I hope it's none.

[lindleland]

It is beating exactly one of them.

[beenovel]

NOTHING could have prepared me for that

[qillermeme]

[hagenlastkiss]

Tom Petty captured during the making of Wildflowers 1994

📷 Somewhere You Feel Free documentary/Tom Petty Official

[skelerangart]

"Can you find me?"

[ass-sassafras]

Is there something wrong with me?

Hear me out. I am definitely an introvert and I have a lot of trust issues from abusive relationships, depression, anxiety, etc.

The thought of going to a structured event that I don't have to go to is just a big fat nope.

Like stuff at work to build rapport, the pot luck pitch in my church has once a month, just no. I did go to the pitch in once to drop off a customer's pot pie order and got roped into staying and it sucked. I felt panicky and couldn't wait to leave.

From a smart business perspective I could go there once a month and bring something homemade that would knock people's tits off and maybe gain me some more customers, but I just can't bring myself to do it.

And yet, I'm going to spend the weekend being bored and wondering why I can't make friends.

[ass-sassafras]

I'm sitting in the lobby at work and a song from the 80s comes on that people used to sing to me to lightly make fun of me/annoy me because it has my name in the title and the chorus. Even though I've pointed out that the name in this context belongs to a dude. No one cares

Any guesses what the song is?

[syntactition]

The Eridians, pointing proudly at their Human-Safe Biodome: that’s where we keep Grace, who saved the stars and spends his time teaching our children about science. we owe him everything.

The Eridians: oh and also Simon. we found him in a blood-covered dumpster and we think he has rabies.

[paranormal-taters]

I am going to [remembers that jokes about suicide are detrimental to myself and others] Scarborough Fair.

[citadelofthestars]

oh cool can u get me parsley sage rosemary and thyme while ur there please?

[paranormal-taters]

Absolutely I can

[wine-dark-sky]

I was so scared they were heading for a romance subplot but congrats to Project Hail Mary for going for the far funnier option of 'Trolley Operator' and 'Guy She Is Actively Tying To The Tracks'. What a dynamic. Movie of the year.

[wolfythewitch]

Dog years

[spiderbasil]

like im okay with being medium attractive and having a moderately clean house. instagram reels just bounce off of me like water off a ducks back

[ass-sassafras]

Seriously though, what the fuck do single people with no friends do when they have to go to the hospital? Whether it's having someone drive you to the ER or to a necessary surgery?

The medical transport people called me back just now and told me the earliest they pick up is 8:30. They only charge $4 each way which is great, but also if you're put under for the surgery they can't take you unless you have a representative with you. And they can only drop you back home, not help you in the house or anything.

Wtf am I supposed to do? Just never get any medical care where I need to be sedated? If I don't get this surgery, things are going to turn dangerous pretty fast.

[ass-sassafras]

I can legit see how the older single ladies I've worked with have become bitter and standoffish. You have no one to rely on but yourself. Does this mean you should get back with your ex or get with some new guy and let him treat you like shit just to have someone there? No. But there has to be an alternative.

Damn it sucks being a single, aroace introvert.

[ass-sassafras]

Seriously though, what the fuck do single people with no friends do when they have to go to the hospital? Whether it's having someone drive you to the ER or to a necessary surgery?

The medical transport people called me back just now and told me the earliest they pick up is 8:30. They only charge $4 each way which is great, but also if you're put under for the surgery they can't take you unless you have a representative with you. And they can only drop you back home, not help you in the house or anything.

Wtf am I supposed to do? Just never get any medical care where I need to be sedated? If I don't get this surgery, things are going to turn dangerous pretty fast.

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[sometiktoksarevalid]