❝ I DON’T OWE ANYBODY ANYTHING. ❞ he says such with confidence but … it’s not like he believes it or any of this. there was something the universe wanted from him and it would squeeze it out of him until his bones break, though whether it was something that he ‘ owed ’ was a theory beyond his comprehension. the world in question had a nasty habit of leaving things rather vague. TYPICAL. but there was one thing that he did understand ; there was one thing he would do without fail. ❝ you might be able to stop killing people but … i can’t stop doing this. i solve the cases that nobody else bothers with because if i don’t, nobody will. i —– i may not know what i want to do or who i want to be but … i just want to do the right thing and people … ——– people keep dying because of it. ❞ tears escape blue eyes like water from a dam, spilling down his face as the muscles of his chin & his bottom lip trembled like a small child. he looks towards the window of the prison as if the light could soothe him ( as it always had ) but there was static still in his brain and his hands shook as he pulled his legs close to his chest. ❝ how do you deal with it ? that much death ? ❞
IT STRIKES A CHORD WITH HER. His tears, him opening up to her. Only one other person had done that to her before. “ It’s what the universe wants and so far I ain’t ever killed anyone who’s not s’pposed to die before. With you, you get people killed by accident but I do it on purpose, it’s what I’m meant to do. You’ve never killed ‘em yourself so it’s not your fault. ” Another attempt at comfort, though one which had the strong potential at falling just a little short. “ I’m starting to think all I am is someone who kills people. You know, like I’m not a person, I’m a weapon. As if there ain’t anything more to me. You know, that much death ain’t s’pposed to bother me. And I think I’m starting to think we’re the same, Dirk. You keep talking about not being able to stop solving things and, you know, when I stop that’s when I get HURT. Bad. I stop doing what I do and the universe, it lashes out at me. But then Ken and you don’t like it when I kill people. But if I stop doing it, then nothing goes right and I get hurt and I’m not s’pposed to get hurt. And, and recently, I’ve started feeling as if people are gonna start dying ‘cause of me who I don’t want dead. Like an accident. And I don’t know what I’m doing anymore but I’m trying to do the right thing and I still feel like that’s not right either. ”
gummygunk
jimmyeatworldofficial
gracieabrams
ellievsbear
blakekathryn
