what do you deserve? what can you forgive?

judas || Him || trans king || 🏳️‍⚧️|| FREE PALESTINE || 18+ Hellstrider on AO3 — writer of The Land of Gods and Monsters

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welcome to the official playlist for the land of gods and monsters verse ✨

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I wanna ……… start a new verse so bad 💀

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serving C U N T

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okay new run is dark urge!Astarion.

I will be posting updates.

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there are so many ways to do this but like.

imagine Astarion being so blissfully unaware of what he is - until he dies and is reborn

in death, he is Awakened; the truest Bhaalspawn can only achieve such enlightenment through the act of being murdered, after all.

over the next two hundred years, Astarion’s Awakening progresses. Bhaal comes to him in dreams, granting him boons to aid him in his desperate search for freedom from Cazador’s domineering mind control.

and what creature knows more about mind control than the mindflayers? to attain that level of mental dominance - nothing could ever touch him again!

he toils in secret, mastering deception and persuasion, garnering Cazador’s favor with the marks he brings home. there is a silent fury inside him, to know he does not get the honor of slaughtering his own well-hunted marks.

meeting Gortash is entirely an accident; being drawn into the fold of the Bhaalists is not. the plot that unfolds from there is interrupted when Orin, envious and spiteful that Astarion has not truly lived the life of a Bhaalist, tries to kill him - but he has died before, and now, with the blessing of his father’s adoration, he cannot truly be killed again.

his mind wiped but freed by the aid of a tadpole, Astarion is now at the most incredible crossroads he will ever encounter - the ultimate slayer, driven by blood and a thirst for vengeance unlike any the world has seen before.

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okay new run is dark urge!Astarion.

I will be posting updates.

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virgil, blood of bhaal, neither a denier nor an embracer of the darkness of his inheritance but an arbiter of balance

i am OBSESSED with him. obsessed.

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I made a Gith for the first time

This is changing me as a person

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he sounds like Steve-O and he has a hot drow girlfriend heavily based on Jessica Rabbit who is a Selûnite and his only moral compass (he’s a durge)

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this gith is making me rethink everything I wanted to do with my durge character,,,,,,, my previous idea was pretty ,,,, I hesitate to say like, lame and unoriginal, but. Idk I’m part of the bg3 subreddits and there was a recent trend of folks sharing their white cisgender goth girl durges (I’m not using that verbiage in a derogatory way, that was literally what the trend was called, the white goth girl durge epidemic) and mine was in the same vein and I think I was,,,, bored by her 💀

I’m utterly fascinated with how well-written BG3 is to the point where a Githyanki Durge literally makes sense within the context of the plot to a point that’s kind of blowing my mind. this is an exercise in thinking WAY outside the box for me, and I’m thrilled about it

[astarionsilverbough]

I made a Gith for the first time

This is changing me as a person

[astarionsilverbough]

he sounds like Steve-O and he has a hot drow girlfriend heavily based on Jessica Rabbit who is a Selûnite and his only moral compass (he’s a durge)

[astarionsilverbough]

I made a Gith for the first time

This is changing me as a person

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okay I finally FINALLY! got my meds approved. took my first dose. I feel like my entire nervous system just exhaled and relaxed this is crazy. my brain is quiet? like. in a really amazing way? holy fuck.

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I think Lae’zel is the best representation of what being a Virgo is like I’ve ever seen

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also sexuality is a BITCH I hate it here lmao

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I put Too Many Rules on my own art and creating whatever it is I want guys it’s exhausting I’m so tired of limiting myself with rules that literally I MADE and can very easily ignore if I’m brave enough

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guys.

I cannot tell you how much I love this fucking game

I’ve been using it to make my own OC’s from my long-standing world that I’ve been developing for 10+ years and the IDEAS that are coming to me….

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned that like. I’m in school for animation, so I can make my own animation studio and eventually tell the story of The Hellstrider; he’s been with me since I was 19 and so angry and hurt and confused in the wake of a super abusive relationship - I want to voice him myself.

Originally The Hellstrider had his story set in OUR world, in Rome. Over the past year, I’ve realized just how much I want to create my own world entirely, so I got brave and moved him to the world of Elysia, which is just one realm in a host of many under the Hellstrider Saga Umbrella.

I’m worldbuilding through playing BG3 and it’s,,,, changing and evolving SO much for me. I’m going to kick off the world of Hellstrider/Elysia with a character from the dawn of legends, prior to The Hellstrider being conceived, and really challenge myself to make a webcomic that updates regularly and for free.

TLOGM is still set to continue, don’t worry. I’m finally getting my ADHD meds this week, we had some Problem with Insurance bc I live in the US and it’s Hell to get meds here but.

Anyway. I love u guys. This is gonna be my journal/diary and workspace as I develop more for Hellstrider and the webcomic, I cannot WAIT !!!! To introduce these characters - it’ll be a while yet until you meet The Hellstrider, but no character I ever write about is unimportant.

The Doctor said it best, after all; “900 years of time and space and I’ve never met someone who wasn’t important.”

xxxxxx 💋

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me, mentally incapable of understanding how nexus mods works, watching all the folks who can use nexus mods for bg3 download the best horny mods while i'm stuck using the sanitized in-game mod manager bc it's simple like my idiot brain

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can’t wait to actually utilize my school gym and like. gain muscle and get hot so I can thirst post myself

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i have found perhaps the best raphael mod i've ever seen in my life