BASIC MINIMALISM @astheticallyminimal - Tumblr Blog

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Jake Gyllenhaal as Jack Twist | Brokeback Mountain (2005)

Musicals By Their Best Insults

Phantom of the Opera: "Carlotta must be taught to act, not her normal trick of strutting round the stage. Our Don Juan must lose some weight- it's not healthy in a man of Piangi's age. And my managers must learn that their place is in an office, not the arts."

Les Misérables: "Master of the house? Isn't worth my spit! Comforter, philosopher and lifelong shit! Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire. Thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house!"

Wicked: "I hope you're happy. I hope you're happy, too. I hope you're proud how you would grovel in submission to feed your own ambition!"

Hamilton: "Sittin’ there useless as two shits. Hey, turn around, bend over, I’ll show you where my shoe fits!" & "SIT DOWN JOHN YOU FAT MOTHERFUCKER!

Heathers: (this entire musical is an insult) "Freak! Slut! Burnout! Bug-eyes! Poser! Lard-ass!" & "SHUT UP HEATHER!"

Love Never Dies: (this entire musical is an insult to humanity) "Look at you, deep in debt. Stinking drunk, pitiful [...] Look at you, foul as sin. Hideous, horrible." & "Beauty sometimes goes unseen. We can't all be like Christine."

Grease: "Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee. Lousy with virginity. Won't go to bed 'til I'm legally wed. I can't; I'm Sandra Dee"