Where Dragons Rest

He/Him Come chill in my lair, kick up your feet, and check some positive shit while I put some food on.

[astralspacedragon]

where the fuck am i 

[dpsmainprivilege]

TWITCH STAFF MUST CONDEMN 

[mechahiggs]

#why did they make me watch limmy experience a microaggression

[smoothexpression]

UUUMMM SHE CUTE??? 

[cat-boots]

your deer boyfriend makes a good point

[bard-like]

fellow DMs listen to me.

if one or more of your players roll to seduce: own it. It’s world building. It’s character building. Sex ain’t a free action. Bring that fucker to the bedroom. Think about your NPC’s sexual traits. Roll dexterity. Make your players roll constitution saves. Give them challenges. If they don’t please the beast, go praying mantis on them. What’s weaker than a bard? A naked bard. Their AC has now been hella dropped. Maybe they succeed and all is well, but that displacer beast is clingy and keeps encountering the party.

So the next time some smug players seduces your encounter, you smirk and you turn the tables on them. :)

[bard-like]

NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL BIG DUNGEON ENERGY

[literallybyronic]

so can we get a link to the table or what

[hydro-homies]

Mountain Relocation

[arirna]

[zooophagous]

My cat, angry that I won’t let him eat styrofoam and die: Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow meow!

Me: cry about it you stupid fuck

[dmcfadzean]

crunch munch

[cat-boots]

⭐!

[commission for Wolf_Booty on twitter]

[cattgirl]

d&d is great I just tried to slam a guy with a two-handed maul and missed, swinging into the floor I roll for damage against the floor bc of course I do. I roll high. The tiles are crushed to bits As a free action, I grab a handful of floor gravel and shovel it into my mouth and straight up eat it in an intimidation attempt My combat opponent is horrified. I get +2 to hit him next turn

[groake]

I fought an opponent who had an eye patch. I used Mage Hand to pick up his eye patch and move it to his other eye.

[filibusterfrog]

hydrogen dragn

[filibusterfrog]

best lizord for @astralspacedragon

[astralspacedragon]

My BOY!!! AAAA

Amazing job dude!!! I love it!!!

[yourplayersaidwhat]

" This is going to sound like a stripper move but please just go with it "

Context: We were trying to escape a dragon by going on an elevator. The dragon broke the platform but we tried to escape by riding the chains the rest of the way up. The dragon had grabbed the chain and was beginning to break the mechanism that was pulling us up.

Me, The Barbarian: So the dragon is holding and pulling on my chain right? not the others ?

Dm: Yea, Its your turn what are you going to do.

Me: Uhm.. uh okay go with me on this one but.

Me: I’m going to Grip the chain with my Thighs so I don’t fall take my Bow and shoot it in the Face.

Dm: Fuck okay roll acrobatics

- And then, My Buff barbarian werewolf woman proceeded to nail the acrobatics check, Lean back and Get a Critical Hit with her Bow as she leaned back to shoot the dragon in the face. The dragon let go of the chain allowing me and the rest of the party that was either in stunned silence or cheering on My barbarian. Whom i am sure several people have a crush on now -

[astralspacedragon]

I was the dm lol

[hustlerose]

douglas adams is literally the anti-lovecraft. seriously, look at the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy. it’s not cosmic horror, it’s cosmic comedy.

lovecraft: you’re surrounded by strange things that you do not understand. isn’t it terrifying? adams: those things? those are normal. the worst thing about them is the bureaucracy. you should get out more. you can read all about them in this gigantic book.

lovecraft: you are ultimately insignificant and the universe will be unaffected by any actions you take. isn’t it scary? adams: um duuuh literally everyone already knew that. let’s go get lunch.

lovecraft: you are transforming into a terrible monster and you can’t stop it. adams:

[dovescape]

i wish bards weren’t turned into the jokey silly class of thots, for zero reason other than the fact that i cannot comprehend them being able to cast power word kill

[alexithetransformingknight]

They can cast power word kill???

[dovescape]

according to roll20 they can

pompous skinny human man in puffy pants: anyways heres wonderwall [strums lute]

enemy barbarian: [dies instantly]

[cat-boots]

fun times at the lake!

[commission for @Cordelia9876]