hii!! would you ever consider doing a college!rick AU?
IM LISTENINGGGGG
I'm in college myself and the delusion might just be the total motivation 👀👀👀
I really liked Drunk on You, and this would probably be similar. So if anyone has any specific ideas, let me know, and we shall see what we can do :)))
he's such a pretty liar || Rick Grimes (TWD) × gn!reader
rick grimes taglist: @golden-hoax @mgparker @zomb-1-egutzz @deadgirlrin
AVAILABLE ON AO3
Dialogue Prompts: 8 + 2
Inspiration: my boy by Billie Eilish
Summary: You and Rick had gotten along at some point, at the farm and prison. You were friends even. Until the Governor killed Hershel, which you believed to be perfectly preventable. Because of his inaction then, you'd gotten a bitter taste in your mouth at the thought of him and eventually, he started to reciprocate the behavior. But as time passes, and you experience more and more with him, is it really hate that you feel?
TWs: enemies to lovers (like fr though), yelling, mentions of death (Shane, Lori, Beth, and Hershel), mention of the Claimers scene, cursing, anger, nosebleed, bruising, love confessions, injuries, blood, and all things TWD.
[[A/N: This is based on Carl being mad at Rick after the prison. Rick do be stressed out, and he do be saying some terrible stuff, but like so are you. This gif is so 🫣💞🤭💞🤪. Anyway, enjoy :))) ]]
You weren't a bad person, and in that regard, you wouldn't say Rick was either. Honestly, you respected him as a leader -you just didn't agree with all his choices. That's where it all started, after all, isn't it?
You'd seen what a wrong choice could do, you'd watched Hershel die right in front of your eyes. You'd seen it all.
And, sure, maybe you were grieving a little but you still largely disagreed with Rick's actions on the matter. It was preventable.
It started there, and only really got worse. It was like once you identified one flaw, suddenly you were second-guessing his every move. The two of you couldn't be in a room without arguing, couldn't be put on shifts together, nothing. Daryl, for one, wouldn't let you be alone together at all. And if it wasn't him, it was someone else.
"Rick, seriously," you spoke once, almost sternly, "-that can't be your decision."
"Why?" he responded -pointed and short, "-Ya got a better idea? Go right fuckin' ahead."
You knew that since the prison, Rick had been strung thin. You knew that he had been harder on himself than you could ever be about Hershel. But, you still were angry. Sometimes, sometimes it felt like maybe he was just a target for everything that you'd been through. And you were trying to change your behavior, change your ways.
You'd known him for so long, and you were going to be stuck with him. The group, even though the two of you weren't on the best terms, was like family to you.
And then, it started getting personal.
This argument stemmed from something small, trivial, you can't even remember it now. Maybe a decision on a run? You can't-
"Ya act like ya ain't made mistakes of your own," he added, "-all high and damn mighty-"
"When did I say that?" You interrupted, more cold than anything, "-You're putting words in my mouth, Grimes."
"-Because I seem to remember ya tellin' me about your family," he continued, not even pausing to listen to you.
You stilled in place.
"Rick," you warned (voice slightly shaking), "-don't... don't go there."
Your family. At the beginning of all this, you'd froze -scared. Watched one of them get bitten, and then everyone just followed after -not willing to grieve. You regretted not being quicker, not being more aware, but you weren't used to it. You weren't-
"Ya fucked up," Rick continued, as if he wasn't bringing up what he was, "-We all do, why do you-"
"No, no," you shook your head, voice shaking, "-Rick, that is not fair. You can't bring up my family-"
You had hated yourself for that, hated yourself. Still did. You would never forgive yourself for not saving them, even though you really didn't have an idea how to then, you should have-
God, he was bringing this up? Really?
"-over a goddamn run strategy."
"Well, you pick apart every damn thing I do," he retorted, "-'Thought I'd do the same for once."
"Oh, fuck you, Rick," you seethed, tears burning the backs of your eyes, "-you want me to poke at your wounds? Talk about who you could've saved?"
He pursed his lips, and you saw something flash through his eyes (they were trailing the now shake of your hands) that looked a little like regret. Like maybe he was understanding what he said. You felt like your skin was on fire.
"Do you want me to start from the beginning?" You tsked, a fire burning in your chest, "-Shane? Or maybe Lori? Beth? Hershel-"
"Stop," he stated, quieter than before.
"-Why, Rick?" you hissed, and you felt the tears now, "-Is this not what we're talking about? Oh, do you not want me to bring that up? Over a run?"
"I get it," he spoke, softer, and something in you sharpened, "-I get it, Y/N."
"Do you?" you responded, frustrated and just... angry, "-Do you, Rick?"
"I shouldn't 'ave-"
"Can it," you interrupted -short, "-Let's just get the fucking supplies and go."
Rick frowned, blue eyes far more emotive (all you could see was regret and pity), "Y/N, I didn't-"
"You didn't what?" You countered, and your voice was cracking, "-You didn't mean to bring up the fact that I watched my family die, right in front of me? Do you think that I don't hate myself every day for not doing anything then?"
Rick didn't say a word.
"-Hate to break it to you, sheriff, but I fucking do."
"Y/N..." he trailed off, blue eyes much calmer, the rage from before dissipating out of his voice.
"No, just-" you cleared your throat, wiping mindlessly at your frustratingly red eyes, "-Let's get this shit done and leave."
From then on, it had been much deeper.
You couldn't stand him, you hadn't been alone with him since. He made your skin crawl and your mind flare up in anger, and sometimes, just sometimes, it would shake your respect for him. Because you did have some, you probably wouldn't even be here, if you didn't.
The funny thing about it all was that you were close to Carl, very close to him. At the prison, after Lori's death, you'd nearly been inseparable. It was kind of like a parent relationship, but at the same time a little like a friend. It made you want to reconcile sometimes, but all you and Rick did was clash.
So much that you started to wonder what a normal conversation was like with him.
And then, you had the run-in with the Claimers.
God, what they'd threatened to do to Carl? You personally would've snapped their spine yourself if you had the chance. But what Rick had done? You couldn't imagine it yourself.
But you knew that he did what he had to. And some part of you wanted to tell him that, despite... despite all of your problems, you knew he needed it.
It was late that night when you decided to talk to him. It was just the two of you awake. You, on purpose, and you just knew Rick would be. Doing that was probably still rattling through his skull, he probably couldn't even close his eyes without-
Your steps were slow and careful, trying not to startle him -he just seemed to be staring. Endlessly staring, and just pacing. Despite it all, you felt something in your chest swirl with worry.
"Rick?" you spoke, gently. Even still, you saw his whole body tense up.
"Please," he muttered, voice low and gravelly -blue eyes heavy on you, "-I don't need your shit right now. I kno' 'at I did somethin' bad, really damn bad. But I just can't deal wit' ya-"
"No, Rick," you interrupted, "-that's not why I'm... That's not what I want to say."
"What do ya want to say, then?"
"You made the right decision," you responded, tone sturdy and unmoving, "-you... you did what you had to."
Rick stilled, something flickering through his face -a flutter of emotions.
"I know, we aren't on the best terms, but-" you rolled your lip around your teeth, "-you're not a monster, Rick."
The silence was loud then, as his blue eyes skimmed over you -carefully. Maybe like he was seeing a new you, or maybe an old one he'd forgotten about. One you'd forgotten about.
"Trust me, I know it feels like it," you added (mind flashing with what you'd done over the years), "-but you did what you had to. You saved your son, and that's all that matters."
He didn't say anything for a moment, trying to process your words. And if you really looked, you might've seen his eyes fogging up a little and the slight drop of tension in his shoulders. A little like he was waiting for someone to tell him that.
And then, he replied, "Thank ya."
You pursed your lips a moment, fidgeting with your hands. You weren't sure what else to say. This was all so new. With a succinct nod, you moved to spin on your heel and lay down for the night.
"Wait," he called, and you turned back to him -eyes inquisitive.
There was a beat.
"-'At day, on the run," he continued, slow and regretful, "-I'm... I'm sorry. I never should 'ave said somethin' like 'at. I never should 'ave brought it up at all. 'Wasn't right of me to."
"Thanks, Rick," you responded, brief but genuine, grateful. You could tell he understood.
Before you could fully turn around though, he added -softer, with something you couldn't quite name, "Goodnight, Y/N."
There was a pleasant hum in your mind at the way he said your name, but you shoved it away. You'd locked all of that far away, a long time ago.
"Night, Grimes," you chimed back, lighter in tone.
He smiled at you then, and something in you gleamed a little from it. Not that you would ever say it out loud.
There was something different after that, a sort of trust or respect. Or maybe something else, you didn't really know. It was there, though.
When you found Alexandria, things shifted a little. Mostly because it was your group against another one, you and Rick were profoundly on the same side. That being said, you still clashed. You weren't sure if it was just the authority of it all, or what? (It might've had a little to do with a blonde wife that he was spending some time with, but you'd never say that out loud.)
"You're seriously not going to let me lead the run?"
"I got Daryl on it," he responded, eyes solely sat on you.
"He's been on all the runs lately," you continued, trying to explain your case, "-Shouldn't this shit be evenly distributed? Have you even talked to Daryl about what he wants? Or are you just assigning us like it's some dictatorship-"
"'Course I damn talked to 'im," he snapped back, and you could see something tired in his eyes, "-everybody gets a say in what 'ey're doin', ya know 'at."
"Except for me," you contradicted, "-you keep giving me the same fucking chores, when I'm useful in other places-"
And he was, he kept you in Alexandria -washing clothes, making dinner, keeping an eye on the people. He made you some kind of mediator between Deanna's people and your own. But you were useful, you shouldn't be locked inside like you couldn't handle yourself. Because you could, and you had before.
"-You know, I scavenged for months before I met you, right? I was alone, and I figured it out."
"I know 'at," he confirmed, pinching the bridge of his nose. You could nearly see the stress radiating off him, but you couldn't stop, not then.
"So, so what-" you asked, "-you don't trust me? You don't think I can do it?"
Rick sighed, big and loud -fully facing you, "It ain't 'at, Y/N. I know ya can handle yourself, I've seen it."
"Then, what is the problem, Grimes? I don't get it-"
"Just take the goddamn next run," he groaned, something in his tone broken (and something a little like guilt curled up in your stomach), "-I'll tell Daryl he's switchin'."
You stopped in place, words faltering off your lips. Your will and the fire in your gut extinguished, you suddenly felt very out of place, and a little like the bad guy. You knew you weren't though, but he just looked so tired-
"Okay," you finally responded, a little dumbfounded, "-thanks."
He nodded in your direction and didn't say a word. You took it as a motion to move along, so you did.
Apparently, he might've had a good reason to worry.
It wasn't that first run, or even the second or third, it was the fourth after that conversation that you were stupid. Well, it really wasn't your fault. You thought someone had your back, and they didn't; so, one of the walkers had clawed pretty deep into your arm.
It was bleeding a lot (maybe too much) and probably needed stitches, but you didn't worry about it. Denise could handle it, and you, as a community, were pretty good on medical supplies at this point.
What you didn't expect, was after Denise patched you up for one Rick Grimes to be on your ass.
You were still sitting in her doctor's space (you had no idea what to call it) then, silently trailing your fingers over the bandaging. You could already see some of the blood through the white of it. It made you a little nervous, you won't lie.
And then, the door swung open.
At first, you nearly grabbed for the knife you hid on you -alarmed, assuming it was someone coming to hurt you. Instead, you were met with one Rick Grimes -his face was all scrunched up in that way he always got when he was frustrated.
If there was one thing you could recognize, it was that.
"Rick?" you questioned -carefully, a little shocked by him bursting into the room. Did you do something to him recently?
"'At's why ya can't go on fuckin' runs," he grumbled out -suddenly so angry, it made your head spin.
You furrowed your eyebrows, "What?"
"You're always makin' damn bad decisions," he continued, and something in you bristled. Your defenses were up in an instant.
"What the fuck, Rick?" you countered, "-You don't even know what happened, how the hell do you know it's on me?"
"You're injured," he clarified, a little like he was talking to himself, "-ya made a stupid mistake-"
"How the hell do you know that?" you hissed, "-Do you just think everything that goes wrong has to be my fucking fault, Grimes?"
"-and you're damn hurt."
There was something there in his tone, something different. Your frustration twisted into a little bit of curiosity. What was that?
"I can’t leave ya alone for one second without ya hurting yourself, can I?" He started up again, and it was there again, angry but also... but also-
Your eyes swam over him, and you recognized it then, worry. He was worried about you, you felt something in you stall. It was so different from what you knew from him-
"I mean," you responded, a little awkwardly -unsure (since when did he care so much?), "-I’m fine so it’s okay-"
"No, it’s not okay," he suddenly shot his eyes to you, blue eyes heavy with worry (so much, it shot to your core), "-Not when I feel like I’m goin' to go batshit fuckin' crazy, thinkin' you’ve hurt yourself."
It was silent for a moment, as your mind processed the words. Skimming along his face, as he seemed to do the same -frustration dissipating along his features.
That... That was new.
"It's just some scratches," you spoke -a little lost, you weren't sure exactly what to say. He cared about you that much? Thought about you that much?
Rick's eyes darted to the bandages, which were just about as dark as before -which was just a little, the stitches seemed to stop it mostly. Something in him relaxed, you could tell in his shoulders -the drop of the tension. You couldn't believe that was because of you. When-
"Ya had to get stitches, yeah?" He spoke, suddenly and a bit awkwardly too (like he wasn't sure what to do).
"I did," you confirmed, just looking and something in you felt like you needed to tell him more, so you did, "-Uh, five in one, and three in the other."
He pursed his lips (like he was debating something), before shattering out a breath, "Can I see it?"
"It's already wrapped up," you responded, blankly -you were running a little on autopilot, "-She already-"
"Denise can rewrap it," he offered, stepping closer. Something in your stomach stirred.
You furrowed your eyebrows, "You want to waste medical supplies, just so you can see my wound?"
Rick's lips pressed into a thin line, something in him firing back up, "I'll replace the supplies my damn self, if I 'ave to, just let me see."
You couldn't really say anything, it felt like all the words had washed from your head. Like you couldn't speak if your life was on the line.
He faltered a second, sighing, and his eyes shifted to something softer (a little like pleading), "I... I need to see if ya are alright."
You felt like you were stone -frozen.
"Please."
Your heart lept into your throat (and you let your mind drift somewhere you'd never let it before), "Yeah, okay."
That started the shift.
And he started checking over you after every run, you thought it would've been annoying but... you got used to it. And something in you liked helping him calm down, although you'd never say it out loud.
Things were a little different. You clashed but it wasn't as fiery anymore. Because you knew he cared about you, and somewhere you could acknowledge you cared about him. (More than you'd ever admit.)
This time it wasn't even Rick you were arguing with. It was someone originally from Alexandria. You couldn't even remember their name, but they'd said something about you and you let it slide. But then, they kept going.
"You made a shit call," the guy remarked, sauntering up to your side.
You were a little startled, but you stayed composed, "What are you talking about?"
"We could've gotten more supplies," he continued, "-that gun store was right there, and you called the whole fucking thing off."
You soured -something steeling in your gut, "You mean the one that was swarmed? Hate to break it to you, but we were outnumbered."
"We could've done it," he added -persistent, something frustrated in his tone, "-we had the manpower."
"Are you serious?" you laughed a little incredulously, "-There were three of us, and about 30, 40 maybe, walkers. That is-"
"Maybe you couldn't have done it," he tsked, lips falling in a flat line.
You flexed your jaw, trying to stay composed, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"You're a sorry fucking excuse for a lead," he gritted through his teeth, "-You don't know shit about-"
"Next time, just go right ahead and do it yourself then," you shot back but stayed still in your space (composed, composed, composed), "-and I don't know about you, but I value life more than something we already fucking have-"
"It's ammunition," he seethed, stepping much closer to you -something sparking behind his eyes, "-Don't know if you fucking know this, but it's pretty damn important to survival-"
"No," you disagreed, voice calm and collected, "-it's not. You don't need to walk into a situation that you can't handle-"
Without warning, a fist flew at your face -right at the nose.
"Shit," you hissed, and you felt the thrum of pain under your skin and could almost immediately taste the coppery taste of blood, "-What the fuck? Why did you-"
"What the hell is goin' on 'ere?"
It was Rick, and his tone was something you'd only heard a few times -blue eyes flickering over you. They held onto your, now bleeding, nose which you were now trying to soothe, and something in his jaw tightened.
The guy was the first one to speak, mostly because you were trying to stop the bleeding. Luckily, Maggie rushed up to your side with paper towels -doing her best to help too.
"They made a mistake on the run-"
Rick didn't let him get far, "So, you punched 'em in the damn face?"
"Well," the guy fell quieter, "-we were arguing-"
Maggie snapped back, shifting her focus for a moment, "You were arguin'."
"No-"
"They were just trying to talk some sense into ya," she continued, tone cold, "-You were the one who took it personally-"
Rick put a hand on her shoulder, eyes flickering toward you -something swimming through them that you recognized from a different day, and Maggie took the notion to stop talking. She turned back to you, and gently guided you to tilt your head forward. On instinct, you pinched your nostrils shut -breathing out of your mouth.
"Even if it was a fuckin' argument," Rick tsked, something cold in his tone, "-there's no damn reason to do 'at. They weren't gettin' violent with ya-"
"How do you know that?"
"Because I kno' 'em," he retorted, "-an' if 'ey got their hands on ya, you wouldn't be standin' in front of me."
You laughed a little and could feel his eyes shoot to you for a second. It made something in your chest flutter, something you were trying desperately to ignore.
"We need to get ya some ice," Maggie spoke, mostly to herself, "-It's already bruisin' up pretty bad."
"'S leave 'is for another day," Rick seemed to exit the conversation with the man, tone unshakable, "-but if I 'ear anythin' else from ya, 'ere's gonna be a problem. Ya got 'at?"
You could almost visually see the way Rick shifted as he made his way over to you. Composure slipping into something more worried, eyebrows furrowing and eyes shining in an entirely different way. Like he couldn't help it, his hands frantically found themselves along your shoulders. It made your skin buzz a little, and made you feel a little woozy. Well, you guessed there could be more than one reason for that.
On that note, you stumbled in place a little, and Rick's hands immediately slid to your sides -stabilizing you. Your heart skipped a beat, stupid fucking handsome men with big fucking hands.
"'Ey, can ya bring a chair over 'ere, please?"
Before you could so much as blink, he was pushing you into it -gently, mind you. Ever-so-gently. And almost on instinct, he fell onto one knee in front of you, trying to hold your eye contact with your head slightly forward, you guessed. His eyes were the same as that day, but there was something else there too, something fuzzier.
"Maggie, ya go get the ice," he turned to her, "-I'll stay with 'em."
She seemed to scamper off because you could tell it was just the two of you. Maybe he'd warded off everyone else, Rick had this... aura to him when he wanted to -a dangerous one. Sometimes you thought it was to balance out his natural nature as a leader.
Quietly, you heard Rick tear off another paper towel and gently wipe at your mouth (where you imagined blood was staining at this point). It was strangely intimate, as you just skimmed over his face.
He was entirely focused on the task, so your eyes roamed along the creases along his face, the blue of his eyes, the sharp line of his nose, the little curls that peeked behind his ears-
You blinked, clearing your thoughts. He was always handsome, you knew that.
"What even is that dick's name?" you questioned, testing to see if your nose had stopped bleeding as much. It had.
Rick smiled a little, looking up at your eyes from where he was focused before (he seemed to be done), "I 'ave no fuckin' clue."
You laughed at that, and if you were honest with yourself thought you saw something shoot through his eyes. Something warm. You ignored it.
"'S hurt?" he spoke, softer.
You responded, simply, "I've had worse."
Rick smiled a little at that, but fell into something more serious, "So, yeah?"
"Like a bitch," you admitted, and he let out a low sort of chuckle.
It made something in you relax, something warm lighting up in your chest. You let yourself feel it this time, just once.
"Just so ya know," he interrupted your thought process, "-'at ain't happenin' again."
You frowned, furrowing your eyebrows -warmth dissipating, "Are you- Are you chastising me right now?"
"No," he quickly responded, but didn't explain further, "-'M just tellin' ya I ain't lettin' it happen again."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
Rick paused a second, ripping another paper towel off and dabbing at your nose. It was probably still bleeding a little bit.
You just watched him, waiting for an explanation. Even though, you weren't entirely sure he was going to give you one.
"Anyone touches ya, says anythin' to ya, so much as looks at ya the wrong way-" he listed, tone deadly serious (it shook through your skull), "-ya come get me, and I’ll set 'em straight. Understand?"
Your mouth moved before you could stop it, "What?"
"I'll handle it," he repeated, pulling away the paper towel and locking eyes with yours, "-It ain't happenin' again."
"Rick," you laughed -incredulously, and maybe a little defensive, "-I don't need a fucking guard dog. I can handle myself."
"'Didn’t say 'at," he hummed, carefully, eyes skimming along your face -a little like he was in wonder (it made your head spin a second), "-'S for me, not ya."
"How does that-"
"If 'ey're fuckin' with ya, 'ey're fuckin' with me," he interrupted, eyes so solid that you couldn't really look away, "-you can handle it how ya want, but Imma 'ave some choice words of my own. So, send 'em my way too."
The words faltered in your throat, something swirling around your heart. He was just so-
The coppery taste again.
You shriveled up your nose in disgust, and Rick laughed at it (something gleaming in his eye), as you reacted -spitting the taste out into the dirt.
"Yeah, keep laughing, Grimes," you tsked, but there was no bite, not really. Not like there used to be, "-I'll beat the shit out of you."
"'Ere's no doubt in my mind," he retorted back, smiling in a way that crinkled at the eyes. You thought for a spare second it was a beautiful one, that maybe he was beautiful.
After that day, you'd say that everything was a little confusing.
These feelings towards Rick were far from new, very far. They'd always kind of been in the very back of your mind. Part of you was actually pretty sure that hating him had in some way distanced you from what you felt otherwise. Now, that is to say, you had definitely hated him at one point. That just didn't mean that it erased the... other thing.
You and Rick were off-kilter. Or at least you were. You guessed you couldn't say anything about him, he was very much a mystery to you at this point.
He just kept doing things. Like the scratch and nosebleed. And every time he'd smile at you a bit warmer, say something you couldn't really avoid. Not anymore. (And you weren't sure you wanted to avoid, honestly.)
And he'd looked at you a lot more, searched you out (when before you used to shun each other, avoid each other), and just smiled at you sometimes for no reason. The thing was you didn't mind it. You wanted him to. Because you... because it was all different.
You were confused, but you weren't going to be the one to encroach on it. It all felt so surreal, that one day something would happen and you'd just snap right back into place -just like before. To be fair, you still argued. But, it was moreso bickering now. And even if it wasn't, before you could get as heated as you used to, you compromised -easily.
You slotted together perfectly and bounced off each other with ease. Hell, he started coming to you about running Alexandria, about problems he couldn't quite get. And the two of you would talk until you worked out a solution. Because you always did.
It made no sense why you'd even clashed in the first place.
You were confused, beyond confused. And you wanted things, wanted to ask things, but they seemed dangerous. Far away-
That brought you here, on a night when you couldn't sleep. Which were more frequent nowadays, if you were completely honest. This whole situation made your mind run for a lot of different reasons, and when it wasn't that, it was nightmares. Alexandria was safe, you knew that, but it didn't necessarily stop your fight or flight -the urge to constantly be on edge, protect.
So, sometimes you sat here on the steps of your porch in the night -the chill and silence of it soothed you. It wouldn't always get you back to sleep, but it would make you feel better. Remind yourself that you're breathing. That you're alive.
You exhaled, trailing your finger along the wood of the railing beside you -absorbing the low buzz of bugs in the air and the strangely familiar groans of walkers outside the walls. It was kinda fucked up that it calmed you down, but you gave yourself a pass.
"Funny seein' ya 'ere."
Your eyes shot up and latched onto his.
The Grimes house was just a couple of houses down, diagonal to yours. So, you could see him, but not entirely clearly.
He was leaning on the porch railing, you could see the sleeves of his jacket against the starch white, and his hair seemed a little messy -your eyes trailed over a particular curl. It was hanging slightly down in front of his face. (You got the urge to fix it, comb it back into place.)
"'Could say the same to you, Grimes," you replied.
You saw him smile, dropping his head to look at the ground. It made something in your chest flutter. But, before you could say anything else, he was stepping down from his porch and making his way to you.
As he got closer you recognized that he was in pajamas with just a jacket thrown over.
He stood just at the bottom of the stairs, leaning onto the railing slightly and just looking at you. Like he always did these days. With worry and... something else.
"Nightmare?" he questioned, genuinely.
You rolled your lip around your teeth, deciding to say, "Kind of."
Rick's lips pressed into a frown, eyes glazing along your face (you didn't look back at him), "Can I sit?"
You were wordless, but moved slightly to the left (despite not really needing to) as unspoken acceptance. He stared at you for a second longer, before slowly but surely making his way to the steps. He sat closer to you than you thought he would've, but it was almost in character of him to do something that surprises you so.
"Ya cold?"
On cue, you shivered slightly, "I've had worse."
Rick let out a low sigh (he knew you well now), nudging off his jacket and hanging it squarely on your shoulders without hesitation. His eyes trailed over you wearing it for a moment, a small look in his eyes that you couldn't name. All shiny as his lips quirked up just a smidgen.
"You don't have to do that," you objected, but it was quiet and weak.
"I want to," he replied, simply.
You couldn't argue with that. Hell, you didn't think you could argue with him anymore-
Rick interrupted the thought, eyebrows furrowed in that kind of way you knew to be worried, "What do ya mean 'kinda'?"
You took a second, staring out into the night -listening to the silence.
"My mind won't stop," you clarified, "-sometimes it's... things I've done, and other times it's... things that I just can't seem to figure out."
"What's it today?"
You pursed your lips a minute, before answering, "Something I can't figure out."
He stared at you, blue eyes flickering along your face in a hazy sort of way. It made something unfurl in your chest that you'd tried to keep shoved down, "Is 'ere anythin' I can do to help?"
You ran the idea through your head a few times, and let your eyes match him a few more. You aren't entirely sure why, but talking to Rick fel a little like he'd never judge you. Even though he had before, it was... it was now. Things were very different.
"Can I ask you a question?" you spoke, then, deflecting a little.
"Shoot," he responded, almost instantly. ( A little like he'd do anything you'd ask.)
"What happened to us?"
Rick's eyebrows furrowed, and you took it as a motion to keep talking, to explain. So, you did.
"We used to-" you dropped your hands on your lap, and stared out into the Alexandrian streets, "-We used to scream at each other until our faces turned red. We couldn't stand each other, and now..."
"'At ain't a good thing?" he questioned, something in his tone a little disappointed (it made your head swirl a little), "-'At it changed, I mean."
"It is," you reassured, facing him a second, "-but I just... Isn't it confusing?"
Rick stayed silent a second, eyes smoothing along your face. Just looking, like maybe he thought you were beautiful (just like you did on that day), or maybe like he never wanted to forget what you looked like.
"No."
You pressed your lips together.
"Don't get me wrong," he clarified with a smile, "-I hated ya once, a long time ago. But 'is? Now? It makes sense."
You asked before you could think about it, "What is 'this'?"
He just stared at you a second, something flickering through his eyes, careful and considerate. Something warm. The warmth you kept seeing now, the one you tried to avoid.
"You," he answered, vaguely, "-Us."
"What does that mean?" you asked, your confusion was ever-so-clear. This was all things you didn't understand.
He didn't say anything, as you stared out into the streets -watching some of the porch lights flicker. The night sky was still dark, so you weren't really worried about the hour.
And then, you felt calloused fingers on your chin -guiding you back to his eyes. The thoughts cleared out of your head.
"Y/N, you drive me fuckin' crazy," he laughed a little, and you felt your eyebrows furrow, "-not just in a frustratin' sorta way. You... I worry about ya like crazy, I think of ya like crazy... I care 'bout ya like crazy-"
Your heart skipped a beat.
"-an' I... I love ya like crazy."
Your lips felt stitched shut, as he just smiled at you -something in his eyes that you could see now. You could identify.
"Ya poke and prod at me until I'm reelin', yeah, but-" he pressed his lips together, eyes shimmering across your face, "-I wouldn't 'ave it any other fuckin' way. An' I mean 'at. I just... I'm not me without ya annoyin' the shit out of me. Without ya callin' me out on my shit."
You laughed, something burning the backs of your eyes, "I am the only one who would do that, huh?"
"Ya are," he grinned at you, and you felt something in your chest squeeze tight.
It felt clear then, abundantly clear.
"I love you too, Grimes."
He grinned, the big kind that crinkled at the eyes, "Thought so."
You rolled your eyes, with no bite, "Oh shut up, sheriff. I could still kick your ass, and you would deserve it."
He laughed, the genuine kind -hand coming to cradle your cheek, "Still, don't doubt it, sweetheart."
You smiled, and noticed just how close the two of you were. He only seemed to be roaming closer, and it made your heartbeat pick up in your chest a little. Before you could stop it, your eyes dipped down to his lips.
He grinned again, the kind that rattle down to your core, all handsome and shiny white teeth. And then, he started moving closer, his own eyes dipping to your lips.
"Ya kno', I can think of a way to get me to shut up."
"Can you?" you teased, quiet between the two of you.
He just hummed, distracted. It made something in your stomach stir.
"I am pretty desperate for you to," you remarked -playfully.
Rick busted into laughter, a loud kind that you barely ever heard from him. It made something in your chest shimmer, proud. You kind of wanted to hear that forever. And now, maybe you could.
The thought made you grin, as you leaned forward, impatiently, and connected your lips to his. It was just a press of lips, but you did feel him lean into it. Before you could get far, he laughed even more, breaking off the kiss, and it made you laugh.
"'Course ya can't wait for one second," he chuckled -playfully, "-You've always been so damn impatient."
"Oh, fuck you, Grimes," you laughed into the night, "-You're lucky I don't-"
i found a home in you (part one) || Rick Grimes (TWD) x f!Winchester!reader (SPN)
1...
rick grimes taglist: @golden-hoax @mgparker @zomb-1-egutzz @deadgirlrin
AVAILABLE ON AO3
|| Crossover between TWD and SPN ||
Requested by @twostepandhalf
Summary: At the start of the apocalypse (one of many you'd been a part of), you and your brothers got separated. So, you roamed the new world on your own, searching for them. You just knew they were alive, so you kept yourself alive too. That and looking for them were your main priorities. Well, until you run into a group and meet a man you can't quite get out of your head.
TWs: cursing, anti-john winchester, lil bit of misogyny, injuries, blades, guns, threatening someone's life, all things TWD and SPN.
[[A/N: so this is my personal trifecta. I am in love with this concept. This is so exciting for me, it's all my favoritesssss. I hope the audience who will read this enjoys :))) ]]
Personally, you'd always thought if the world went to shit, you would be with your brothers. It just seemed natural, the three (recently four) of you against whatever monster of the week it was. You'd kind of gotten used to it, to them.
When you were growing up, John (he was never a Dad, especially not yours) dropped you off at Bobby's. Not in the every once in awhile way, like your brothers, he left you there. Something about you being a little girl, like he could condition Sam and Dean, but not you. Because you were a girl.
(Despite what John thought, Bobby did teach you the way of a hunter. After letting you be a kid, though.)
You saw your brothers a lot when you were young, mostly because John disappeared and would drop them off while he did... whatever the hell he did. Hunt, supposedly. And yeah, it got spotty when you were older, Sammy going to college, and Dean stuck to John's side.
But, then, the fateful day came.
"Dad's on a hunting trip, and he hasn't been home in a few days."
It all started from there, the three of you stuck like glue. You'd seen their highs and lows, and they had seen yours right back. Your group grew to include a few more faces, and then maybe it shrunk again because of... because people didn't last forever.
All that to say, when the world went to shit, you were with them. Always. Every time. (Even sometimes when they didn't want you to be.)
Except for now.
You'd gone out on a solo hunt. Maybe to clear your head? You couldn't remember. Sam and Dean didn't want you to go, but they were overprotective, big brothers, they never wanted you to go. You told them you'd be fine and would be back in a few weeks, at most.
Long story short, the world went to shit, and you were far away from the bunker. Far away from your brothers.
The thought of it all still made you sick to your stomach. At first, you thought you could make it back to the bunker -just kinda on instincts. Follow the road sort of thing.
And then, your car ran out of gas.
You liked to think that you'd know the land of one state from another, but after a few days of endless trees and the stretch of pavement, you realize that you 100% didn't.
So, your priorities shifted, and you readied up for the long haul. Because somewhere in your chest, you could tell this apocalypse might just be the one that sticks.
With your luck anyway.
You tugged on the thin tree branch, snapping it off the trunk. Your eyes skimmed across the sky, trying to track the sun -the hours of sunlight were important now. Sometimes you missed sleeping in though, you'll admit.
Letting out a long sigh, you gathered up your wood collection and shoved it into your backpack -one you'd spotted in a strip mall. Otherwise, you had your duffle, full of all the... other stuff. Hunting stuff.
Surprisingly, you didn't need a lot of it now. Just an old army knife, kept in your pocket was reminiscent of that life. Dean gave it to you, a long time ago.
Huddling into the little shack you'd found by the road (well, in between a shack and a barn really), you put them all down and pulled out some matches.
It was the hot, humid kind of season then, but still, the night got cold. And if there's one thing you couldn't handle right now, it was getting sick. So, you made a fire -despite the heat feeling a little like it was stuck to your skin. Like maybe you'd never wash it off.
You didn't really think you'd wash any of this off.
Satisfied with the fire, you pulled yourself against the worn wooden walls, tilting your chin up to the sky. Your eyes flicked across the rusted metal roof -eying the scratches and buffs. And with a breath, you closed your eyes for a second.
That was the thing, living in this new world, you were always on edge. Survival mode. Before with Sam and Dean, you had a safe place. Motels, the bunker, Baby. And even if you didn't have a roof over your head, you had them.
They wouldn't let anything hurt you, just like you wouldn't let anything hurt them. And it made you... Without them, it made you afraid. For the first time in a long time, you had no one to watch your back.
So, you lived everyday with heightened senses and numbness to everything that wasn't hunger. You actually don't think you've spoken in weeks, it was a little like you reverted. Like you were how humans were in the beginning, primitive, hunter-gatherers. The shit you see on the nature channel.
On that thought, you opened your eyes back up and pulled your backpack forward -digging through the pockets. Gnawing at your lip, you eyed your rations. It wasn't a lot, you'd probably have to be on the look for more soon. That, or you could spread what you did have over the next few days.
Without another thought, you pulled out a can and with the ease of a breath, pried it open. It was some sort of beans, you didn't really care at this point. Food was food.
Quietly, you ate.
Every time you did though, you missed Dean's food. When he'd cook for everybody. It wasn't just some can of beans-
You turned the can in your hands, eying the label. Not one you'd ever seen before, but yeah, some sort of beans. Baked beans. The kind of stuff you get at a barbecue. You could nearly hear the squeaky styrofoam plates and the smell of charcoal. (The whole thing sent something through you that felt a little like nostalgia and a little like grief.)
Briefly, you wondered if they were healthy. If Sam would tell you they weren't and try to convince you to eat something else. Maybe he'd even snatch them from you.
Would they have even left the bunker? Was that not the safest place in the world?
Well, by now, they would have. You'd been gone for months at this point. Or you think so anyway. (You had been counting, but just lost the point of it.) And realistically, they probably went out to look for you after maybe two weeks. If that.
God, you could imagine them now. Those pinched faces they get when they're worried, Dean ready to kill everything in his way, and Sam with his ever-present hope. You could really picture what Dean was probably saying at this point.
"We're in a damn zombie movie, Sammy!"
You laughed at that, swirling your spoon (you had a few) around your can.
Sometimes, if you focused hard enough, you could perfectly picture them. Dean nursing a beer, flicking through channels in his 'Dean-cave', Cas beside him (trying to follow along with his explanations), and Sam, with at least 5 books on the table in front of him, engrossed in whatever case he'd found.
That was the nice thing about the bunker, the quiet little things and at the same time the hum of people, of family.
You missed it now.
As you sat by your fire, in walls that weren't the bunker's, eating something that your brother hadn't made, you missed it.
Summary: Your town was small, not the smallest you knew, but anyone of high fortune was the gossip of the week. Predictably, Richard Grimes was a thing of whispers -rumors of a search for marriage among the grassy hills. You weren't one to buy into town gossip, but something about him... just seemed a little too intriguing.
Chapters 1-20:
1. a basket of berries
2. a gift beyond expense
3. the name of a man
4. a meeting anew
5. the wife
6. the inconvenience of love
7. letters (not) to be sent
8. the offering of a heart
9. to confront and forgive
10. an admission
11. to love and to be loved
12. the support of a sister
13. the fate of two
14. a whisper from someone else
15. the blood of another man
16. a finality of feelings
17. to doubt and to believe
18. an assumption
19. to be a mother
20. like mine own
All reblogs and comments are appreciated!! Feel free to send an ask or comment to get on the taglist :)
⋆ “i can stay the night, y’know. if it’d make you feel better.”
⋆ “try and get some sleep. i’ll stay right here- i won’t let anything happen to you, i swear.”
⋆ “you should’ve told me this was going on. i would’ve put a stop to it the second i heard about it.”
⋆ “no one gets to treat you like that, you hear me? no one.”
⋆ “either go to bed and get some rest willingly, or i will drag your ass down the hall kicking and screaming. you know i’ll have no problem with either option.”
⋆ “you must be freezing- here, take my jacket.”
⋆ “this place is dicey at the best of times. just take my hand until we’re clear of it, yeah?”
⋆ “anyone touches you, says anything to you, so much as looks at you the wrong way- you come get me, and i’ll set them straight. understand?”
⋆ “i’m not jealous. i just know the intentions that someone like that has for you, even if you claim not to see them yourself.”
⋆ “stay behind me, no matter what.”
⋆ "i know you can't believe it yet, but i promise you can trust me. whenever you're ready to rely on me, i'll be here for you. i swear it."
⋆ “i like seeing you this way. so… at ease. makes me wonder how anyone could ever purposely put you under stress and live with themselves afterwards.”
⋆ “shut up and just let me take care of you!”
⋆ “this isn’t up for discussion. i know you’re used to looking out for yourself, but i need you to understand that you don’t have to live like that anymore. i’m here. for as long as i’m around, i’m going to come between you and anything that wants to hurt you.”
⋆ “no one’s ever going to hurt you again. i promise you that on everything i believe in.”
“Since when did you ever care about me?!” “Since fucking forever, you idiotic dunce!”
“I can’t leave you alone for one second without you hurting yourself, can I?” “I mean, I’m fine so it’s okay—” “No, it’s not okay. Not when I feel like I’m going to go batshit fucking crazy, thinking you’ve hurt yourself.“
“Well, I’m sorry I fell in love with you, okay? But it happened and I can’t do shit about it.” “You… What?”
“You think I wanted this to happen? You think I, of all people, wanted to fall in love with you?”
“Trust me, I’m also trying to understand how in the shit this happened.”
“…This is why I knew I shouldn’t have gotten close to you.”
“I’m going to need you to stop for one second because I just find it so incredibly rude that you think I’m not head over heels in love with your stupid, oblivious ass. Are you a brick? Because you’re dense as fuck.”
“Tell me how I’m supposed to un-love you, then. Tell me. Spare me.”
“Yeah, well, if I could, I’d lose feelings for you. But it’s not that easy. It’s not that easy to just let go of someone you’ve held onto for so fucking long.”
“What part of ‘I want you, and only you’ do you not understand?”
hello! im the one girl from ao3! so i was kinda thinking about like a winchester sister reader, where she's about adam's age (I'd also love adam in the storie) and the apocalypse starts and reader finds herself alone (doesn't really matter why) until she finds rick's group (the whole think w rick and her falling in love etc) and idk one day she gets reunited again with dean, sam and adam (maybe even cas and jack if you'd like)
also because she is a winchester she is super badass and know a lot of stuff on survival
maybe she acts tough and doesn't show weakness to anyone until she sees her brothers again and she breaks down crying because she's finally safe?
i guess this is a bit silly and i totally get if you don't feel like writing it, but, hey, a girl gotta try, right?!
Okay, so actually, you're at the perfect Tumblr. Because I have an entirely separate one for spn, and this is my Rick Grimes one.
(When WORLDS COLLIDE)
So you've found the perfect niche creator.
I absolutely think I could do this, and I may get so invested it ends up like a series, actually. I love writing Sam and Dean, and OF COURSE, I would include Cas (he's my favorite, honestly) and Jack. I just have to remember Adam's character, because in my defense, he was used very minimally. I totally respect your interest in the character though.
I will say I cannot tell you an exact time frame though, my inspiration comes and goes.
It'll be my first crossover on this account though, so that's exciting!!!
Yeah, I'd totally be down to do this, so just me give me some time and I got you 💅💅💅
