A Stranger that Cares

This is me, I'm stranger they/them. I care about you problems. If you're having a hard time, life is too much and you want to give up send me an ask or something. Anything is better than giving up.

[astrangerthatcares]

Let's start!

Hi! I'm Stranger. This blog is to help people that have mental illneses when they are feeling down. Or maybe you don't have a mental illness and you are just feeling down! My askbox is always open to anybody that needs help.

10 reasons not to kill yourself

10 things you can do instead of self-harm

The most random and stupid but somehow cool links

A little reminder

A short story

I will keep adding things when I can.

Always remember,

a) You are needed

b) You are valid

c) I love you

[selfcarereminder]

hey if ur reading this and ur in a bad spot mentally or anything i hope u feel better soon and have a good day

[astrangerthatcares]

To everybody out there who is struggling,

you don't have to do it alone. There's somebody who'd love to help you. And if you don't seem to find that somebody, I'm here.

-Stranger

[lild3m0nsworld]

[sweetlikeacherry]

to anyone reading this: be proud of yourself for continuing on— even when you thought you couldn’t hold on any longer. I see you, I love you, and I am routing for you every step of the way.

[astrangerthatcares]

Why is self harm bad?

Because you are a beautiful being that deserves to be happy and not hurt enough to hurt yourself. People will always be bitches to you, so don't make their jobs anon <3.

Love,

Stranger.

[astrangerthatcares]

hey it's nice to be here again :)

sooo I'm 109 days clean (yay!!) but it's tough at the moment. Because I'm on vacation with my family in a camper and we're 5 persons (3 teenagers) in 12 m². There are a lot of conflicts. And I'm not wearing my Invisalign when I should and ive got problems with eating (basically I feel like I'm eating too much ("bad") food).

I'm not sure I told you but one trainer from Judo hasn't been there that past two months cause they were in India but I'll see them again after summer break!!! And I'm so excited for that because I really like them :D

We're away for almost four weeks with our camper so I'm really worried my plants will die. A family friend is coming to our place to water them but last time some died anyway. I would be really sad if some plants of mine died because I really like my plants.

My body issues are still there. Lately I've really started hating my legs.

I'm visiting a natural history museum tomorrow and I'm really excited for that. I love these museums. I think I visited three or four on the trip with my mom earlier this year.

Uhmm yeah I don't think there's much else on my mind at the moment but if there is I'll tell you another time cuz I really have to sleep now.

Oh wait some things I have to say: I'm really happy that it's summer break but it doesn't feel real yet. Also I'm totally fine with being called Girl.

~ Maya <3

Hey Maya!!

I'm so glad you're 109 days clean! You should definetly party. Alright, about the issues with being too many people in too little space, just try to get through it. I know you can (and if you can't just send me rants, I'm here for anything).

About the food, don't worry, you deserve some treats after all you've been through.

Yay! You're going to see the Judo trainer!! Congratulations, really.

Sorry to inform you, but I'm crap with plants, so I can't really help, I just accepted my plants would eventually die, so I don't really know how to cheer you up.

About your legs, GIRL, WDYM? You're slaying, you look great and you're drop dead gorgeous, stunning, beautiful and perfect! Trust me, it's hard to have "bad" legs.

I love museums too, and I hope you have a great time! And I'm glad you could visit so many museumss with your mom.

Yeah, I know how surreal it feels when summer break starts (I'm a lucky person and have been in summer break for almost a month) but try to enjoy the heat!

Be safe and use sunscreen, drink water and sleep enough!

Love, Stranger.

[astrangerthatcares]

Hiiii

Guess what - I'm 74 days clean! I've been quite struggling tho because I don't seem to find reasons not to self harm - after all I'm not cutting that deep and it'll heel with time anyway. Soo if you got any reasons that'd be really helpful if not - don't worry I'll work through it. Today was a really shit day but that was just cuz I was sick and was feeling nauseous and had (still have) a headache. And I have my period. And I slept really bad. Me and my best friend made slideshows talking about our feelings tho we haven't shown them to each other yet cuz we had no time to meet up. I have this really big important and complicated math test coming up and I haven't learned yet and I'm really shitty at the topic - it's about triangles. I hate geometry. Anyway I'm so happy that it's spring although it's already too warm for me on some days. I really struggle with heat I don't know what it is I just have a really low tolerance and I'm feeling nauseous and have headaches. It's really annoying. Anyway I'm really looking forward to the time where our teachers can't give us grades anymore (end of this week) cuz i really hate school. Uhmmm yeah I think that's it.

I hope you had a good day

~Maya

Hey Maya!

I'm glad to hear you're clean!!!! 🥳🥳🥳 About reasons not to do it, well, you can consider me a sh Duolingo, if you don't keep your streak, I'll come for you 😈 (Just kidding, please take care of yourself, I'm really proud of what you've achieved and I hope you can keep going).

I hope your headache is better, but if it isn't, I recommend water. A lot of water. It's really helpful. For your period, all I can say is tell you, I get how you feel. You can get through it girl! (If you rather I use another term, tell me please, it's just something I use regardless of gender).

I think the slideshow thing you're doing with your best friend is great, it's a really innovative way to talk about feelings and emotions. And yeah, I hope school finishes soon as well.

Tschüs!

-Stranger

[astrangerthatcares]

What should I do when my parents don't listen to me ?

Honestly Anon, I'm crap with parent stuff, I'm not of any help here, sorry to disappoint. You can always rant here, but we both know it isn't the same.

Hope you find help,

-Stranger

[astrangerthatcares]

some things I forgot to talk about:

My sh wounds didn't heal but my mom probably didn't saw my wounds and if she did she didn't talk to me about it which is good. I'm still clean (18 days now I think) and I had a picnic with my friends again!!! It was really nice and it was like 6 hours and I just love mg friends. I also baked the cake again and I failed the sour cream layer again but it was still delicious. I'll have to call my grandma and ask her if she knows what I'm doing wrong because it's her recipe. And I'll bake it again for my dads birthday in a few days. Art club still isn't that fun but all my friends are still alive and I helped one friend with relationship problems.

With love Maya

Hey Maya!

(I read it all, sorry for coming late)

I hope you're doing alright! Keep going at it, stay clean (YAYYYY!!!!) and be happy.

Love,

-Stranger

[astrangerthatcares]

what do I do when I'm messing up everything

Anon, you're not messing up. And even if you think you are, it's human to mess up and nothing wrong with it. Just think, take deep breaths, and go for it.

Love,

-Stranger

[astrangerthatcares]

i feel like I have no purpose in life. Except for going to school and scrolling I do nothing. Life doesn't feel fulfilling at all and I don't want to do anything. I feel like shit because I'm doing nothing that feels like doing anything.

Yeah, no jokes anon, I know how you feel. It's okay to feel like that, but it isn't healthy. One thing that usually works is going to new activities, such as sports, or cooking or whatever shit you want to do.

Hope you get well,

-Stranger

[astrangerthatcares]

is it okay if I made the wrong decision?

Hey anon! Of course it is. It's okay if you did wrong because you didn't know any better, thought you were doing something good, didn't have any other option... And quite a few more things. Although it isn't okay if you knew it'd be bad, it can still be okay. Everything will be alright anon.

-Stranger.

[astrangerthatcares]

Hiiii stranger!!! I'm back with updates!!

Lets start with some happy stuff: the trip I told you about was really fun and we cut my hair!! Nothing crazy just shorter big still good. I don't like having too long hair and my hair was kinda driving me crazy so I'm really happy we cut it. Also I love my friends :) they're just great. And me and my sister baked cookies today. They were honestly mid but it was still fun to bake.oh and last week I baked a blueberry sour cream cake with my grandma's recipe but the sour cream layer didn't set so it had a pudding consistency but it was still really good and I brought it to a picnic and all my friends loved it. Also just because I need to say it again: I love my friends. I also made a lot of art with my sister today, I drew a cup of tea, a fish and I made two tiny vases out of air drying clay. oh and a tinee tiny duck. One of the vases is shaped like a bag and I love it.

Soo now the negativ stuff: I was 99 days clean and then. I just wasn't. The hardest part is hiding it from my friends and my mom because I'm going on a trip with her in a week and I'm super worried it isn't going to heal until then. My mental health is kind of getting worse at the moment but I really noticed how it improved when I was clean so I'll try my best to get the current 9 days to hopefully forever. Also my personal hygiene is really suffering currently. And I hate school. I have so much to do but just no motivation so it just piles up and I do stuff last minute and I just do it really bad and I'm just copying my friends stuff. And I also hate my phone. Especially social media. And I got friendzoned by my best friend. But that's okay I didn't really expect it to go different. Also I'm probably not agender I just thought that because I wasn't really feeling much emotions. I'm still not. I can't remember the last time I cried. And I'm fucking tired. What's also shit is that art club isn't really fun at the moment. I don't really like what we're doing. But maybe that's just cuz I don't have any motivation for anything at the moment. Also like last time I'm having body issues. Did I mention I hate school? Because i really do.

My friend is still alive so that's good. Or maybe he isn't, I haven't heard from him in two days. I don't know how I'd react to that. I'm mainly just feeling numb. I don't think my brain can really process death. That makes me feel like I don't really care about people and that kinda makes me feel like a bad person. But I know it's not really my fault.

Also yeah im from Germany no worries about guessing haha.

You don't have to answer, I'm just ranting and I wanted to tell you

And to end this with happy thoughts: I'm doing judo and I'm training the little kids every Friday and they are just so adorable because they are 4 to 6 years old and they are just too cute and altho they're loud it's always fun and I really like the other trainers.

~ Maya

Hey Maya! I'm so happy with the updates!

I'm glad you had a good time in your trip, and also that you're doing artistic things. It can help a lot with mental health! I hope your friends are doing alright as well. I'm sorry to hear you relapsed, but I know you'll probably be able to get clean again, as you could stay clean for almost 100 days (yay!!!!). Also, I understand that absolute hate for phones and school.I don't think there's much either of us can do about it, so I send you strenghth from here to keep going. I'd like to think your friend is still very much alive, and I don't think it'd make you a bad person to not care about others when your priority should be your own well-being until you are well enough to care about others. About hygene, I know it can be hard as fuck, but please, try, because it helps with your mental health. With training judo, pleaseee I think my hear is going to melt with those little kids! I hope you like it there and find your little judo family. By the way, I send you all my support so you can deal with the idiot politics in Germany ❤. Stay safe and take care!

-Stranger

[astrangerthatcares]

10 things you can do instead of self-harm

(For phisical self-harm)

1- Paint that area. If you were planing to make cuts on your leg, paint your leg. If you were scratching your arm, paint your arm.

2- Cut stuff. I used to cut little locks of my hair, but it looked horrendous, so I recommend cutting papers and/or soft plastic.

3- Scream. Scream at the top of your lungs, let it all out without harming yourself.

4- Cry. It is also good. Maybe you rather cry in a more silent way or you want to ugly sob until you don't have tears left. Either way, do it.

5- Make noises with the most random stuff you can find. Hit that nail polish against the table in a ritmic way. Move things to make noise.

6- Throw things (soft and that don't break). Against the walls, to the floor. It doesn't matter. Hurt an object, you can always replace it. Throw it and use the energy you were going to use to harm yourself.

7- Listen to the most weird music ever, a song you don't know and learn the lyrics. Try to feel the music and the feelings the lyrics is telling.

8- Sleep. Just rest, fall asleep and forget for as long as you can. It doesn't matter if it's 3 a.m. or 1 p.m. Sleep.

9- Paint long lines on a white paper. Try to make them as straight as possible. It might sound stupid, but it works and it's better than self-harm.

10- Get a paper or a soft toy. Hurt it the same way you wanted to hurt yourself. Cut the paper, scratch the toy or whatever. Hurt it not you.

Remember you can always send me an ask to tell me how you are feeling and why and I will try to answer as fast as possible. Take care of yourselves.

[formertokenstraight-deactivated]

10 reasons I can't do these things instead of self harm

1- I hate having paint on me.

2- Too much mess

3- No, can't have people know

4- Tried, failed, I seem to have disabled most emotion on accident. Whoops.

5- I tell people not to do that bc of the noise, so I cant start doing that myself

6- I have done this and gotten in trouble :/

7-No

8- Don't want to screw up my sleep schedule more than it already is

9- No painting. No.

10- I am NOT going to hurt a toy, they have souls. And paper cutting makes too much mess.

[astrangerthatcares]

1- Paint in paper.

2- Instead of cutting papers, fold papers. Maybe origami, maybe just random foldings.

3- Then sing. It isn't the same, but chanelling your emotions through music is good.

4- Not necessarilly cry, but let your feelings out in a way that doesn't hurt anybody.

5- Fuck what people think. Hypocrite for doing what you told them not to do? Yes, and? Do it anyways, your wellbeing comes first.

6- Maybe try doing it when nobody knows so you won't get in trouble? Like, if it heps it's a shame you can't do it.

7- Please, try it. Or, if not, learn new languages or admire art. It helps.

8- Yeah, I understand that one, but still it's better to have a fucked up sleeping schedule than doing self-harm.

9- I kinda get that one. I can't answer, but I can give you another thing. People recommended holding ice cubes.

10- I get that toys have sould and paper cutting is a mess, but have you considered... balls? Those small ones that bounce... Yeah, those. They aren't toys and it's so relaxing to se them move.

Please, always remember you come first and nothing is more important than your well-being. Take care.

-Stranger

[astrangerthatcares]

why does no one care?

why doesnt friendship feel like it used to?

Hey anon. I know sometimes everything feels grey and nobody cares and friendships get fucked up. I also know we all have the resilience to keep fighting to find people who care and that'll stay by your side no matter what. People change, the world collapses and society is fucked up, but I swear you'll find whoever it is that'll be the best friend you could ever wish for, or you'll fix whatever it is with your actual friends.

-Stranger

[astrangerthatcares]

I have a guy in my class and we're kind of friends but I'm not sure. It's complicated (it's not romantic or anything) but I'm worried he is going to commit suicide. I don't know how to help him. The main reason I don't want him to commit suicide is because it would completely destroy my friend who is friends with him.

What do I do?

WARNING: Suicide mention

Hey! I hope he's alright now, but I honestly don't know much about keeping people from suicide. I'd just keep him talking, make sure to check in regularly and talk about his feelings. Usually works. I'm sorry I can't help more.

-Stranger

[astrangerthatcares]

Soooo Update!!!

I'm 51 days clean. Yesterday was really hard. I don't know how I'm still clean. (Self harm)

My friend is still suicidal and I'm really fucking afraid. 1) that he'll kill himself, 2) the situation in the us and 3) the situation in my own country. I'm really fucking afraid of the far right Party. I fear for a second Nazi regime.

I think I already told you but I'm pretty sure I'm depressed. I'm contemplating telling my other friends. But idk. I'm going on a school trip in a little over a week and and the school trip I'll be 2 months clean. So 62 days. My one friend kinda knows that I sh so I'm thinking of celebrating with her. I imagine it in the bathroom so the others won't notice. We're both sitting on the floor and i light two candles on a cupcake or a mini cake. I blow out the candles and after that we both share the muffin. But for that I'd have to tell her. So idk maybe I'll just get a message from my friend.

I'm also having massive body issues at the moment. And I'm really tired. I can't wait to see my friends again after the holidays.

~ Maya

Hey Maya! I'm sorry for answering so late, but I read everything you sent me. I hope you're doing alright now, and as for the reasons not to self harm, I have a list on my blog, but if you need more just tell me and I'll give you more. I'm so happy you're still holding on and you're clean. You deserve to be happy. For what you say about the far right party, I'd say it has to do with the issue in Germany (I'm so, so, so sorry if you didn't want me to guess, it's just I'm going on a trip to learn more German and in German class we got told about it). In fact, I'm also worried about the US and Germany, but also about Russia and possible wars. Honestly, what I've done is completely ignore the outside world and centre on doing other things. Maybe it helps you too. What i recommend is learning languages and speaking with friends. Also, i hope the whole thing with your best friend (you told me in an earlier messagge) is okay now, and it is a really fucked up situation. Take care and update please.

-Stranger