ACHERONTIA LACHESIS
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@astria-lee-seraphim
ACHERONTIA LACHESIS
Daddy’s at the food store, Mummy’s out of town,
She’s working at the hospital since Rhona came to town,
Hide away, hide away, Miss Rhona’s come to town,
Hide away, hide away, she’s come to take us down.
Miss Rhona’s at the doorstep, I’ll keep 6 feet away,
But Grandma needs the paper, I’ll take her some today,
Hide away, hide away, Miss Rhona’s come to stay,
Hide away, hide away, we can’t come out to play.
But Grandma needs the paper, I’ll take her some today,
And here’s a note from Rhona, she wanted me to say,
Hide away, hide away, keep 6 feet away,
Hide away, hide away, she took us down today.
[Image ID: Tumblr user @neanderthyall says in the notes, “I thought that 6 feet was kind of a double meaning. Like six feet away to stop the spread, but when people die they’re six feet underground, and its six feet of the dirt that keeps you apart. Like ‘Hide away, hide away, even though it hurts Hide away, hide away, or the six feet will be dirt’.” End ID.]
HI DON’T LEAVE THIS IN THE NOTES THAT’S ACTUALLY BRILLIANT
I’ve taken the liberty of expanding the lyrics slightly and coming up with a tune:
Daddy’s at the food store, Mummy’s out of town, She’s working at the hospital since Rhona came to town, Hide away, hide away, Miss Rhona’s come to town, Hide away, hide away, she’s come to take us down.
Miss Rhona’s at the doorstep, I’ll keep 6 feet away, But Grandma needs the paper, I’ll take her some today, Hide away, hide away, Miss Rhona’s come to stay, Hide away, hide away, we can’t come out to play.
I need to see the sunlight, I’ve not been out in days And here’s a note from Rhona, she wanted me to say, Hide away, hide away, keep 6 feet away, Hide away, hide away, she took us down today
The days all run together, I haven’t changed my shirt We may be getting restless, but keep on the alert Hide away, hide away, even though it hurts Hide away, hide away, or the six feet will be dirt
@billpottsismygf’s extended version. A beautiful singing voice 🎶☺️
As planned I’ve extended this even further and re-recorded it with the new lyrics and a guitar part; it’s also a bit better quality. It’s so cool that so many different versions of this song have sprung up already! I recommend having a scroll through them all on @jus-tea‘s tumblr.
(Em)Daddy’s at the (B7)food store, (Em)Mummy’s out of (B7)town, She’s (Em)working at the (B7)hospital since (Em)Rhona (B7)came to (Em)town, (Am)Hide away, hide away, Miss (Em)Rhona’s come to town, (Am)Hide away, (Em)hide away, she’s come to (B7)take us (Em)down.
Miss Rhona’s at the doorstep, I’ll keep six feet away, But Grandma needs the paper, I’ll take her one today, Hide away, hide away, Miss Rhona’s come to stay, Hide away, hide away, we can’t come out to play.
I’m missing all my friends, though we keep in touch by phone, I’m learning what it is to truly be alone, Hide away, hide away, even though you moan, Hide away, hide away, or we’ll be lying prone.
My love she says she misses the twinkle of my eyes, But Rhona stalks the streets and to meet would be unwise, Hide away, hide away, we hear the desperate cries, Hide away, hide away, or see the bodies rise.
I feel myself a-coughin’, I haven’t got a mask, It’s work or die for me, though, so who am I to ask, Hide away, hide away, Miss Rhona’s on the task, Hide away, hide away, she’s come for me at last.
I need to see the sunlight, I’ve not been out in days, And here’s a note from Rhona, she wanted me to say, Hide away, hide away, keep 6 feet away, Hide away, hide away, she took us down today.
The days all run together, I haven’t changed my shirt, We may be getting restless, but keep on the alert, Hide away, hide away, Miss Rhona’s quite the flirt, Hide away, hide away, her touch is not inert.
Hide away, hide away, even though it hurts, Hide away, hide away, or six feet will be dirt.
you absolutely nailed the slightly ominous yet catchy tune for this, great job!
Helicoprion: What if, like, teeth,
Mesosaurus: Yeah?
Helicoprion: but WHEEL
Mesosaurus: No don’t -
Helicoprion:
(Image by ДиБгд)
Drepanosaurus: What if, like, tail,
Rutiodon: Yeah?
Drepanosaurus: But CLAW
Rutiodon: How would you -
Drepanosaurus:
(by @drawingwithdinosaurs)
Igunaodon: What if, like, thumb,
Hypselospinus: Yeah?
Igunaodon: But like spike
Hypselospinus: But why would you ne-
Igunaodon:
Stegosaurus: What if, like, tail
Camptosaurus: Yeah?
Stegosaurus: But SHARP
Camptosaurus: But what would y-
Stegosaurus:
Pelagornis: what if, like, beak
Paramobula: I’m listening
Pelagornis: but TEETH
Paramobula: what possible reason would you have t-
Pelagornis:
(Image by Peter Trusler)
Cotylorhynchus: What if, like, head
Moschops: Okay?
Cotylorhynchus: But SMALL
Moschops: What? No, why the he-
Cotylorhynchus:
Erythrosuchus: Okay but what if, head
Cotylorhynchus: I’m listening…
Erythrosuchus: But HUGE
Cotylorhynchus: What no pump the breaks there why-
Erythrosuchus:
Sharovipteryx: Okay, but what if like, wings
Kyrgyzsaurus: Okay?
Sharovipteryx: on my BACK LEGS
Kyrgyzsaurus: Wait hold on now, why would you put them-
Sharovpiteryx:
Deinocheirus: Okay, but what if…
Barsboldia: What if what?
Deinocheirus: : )
Barsboldia: What are you doing, what is this, wh-
Deinocheirus:
Therizinosaurus: Ok what if claw…
Deinocheirus: Alright go on….
Therizinosaurus: But l o n g
Deinocheirus: You eat planet for heavens sake why in the world would yo—
Therizinosaurus: SUCK IT IM WOLVERINE
Azhdarchidae: What if, like, fly?
Pterosauria: Okay… what about it?
Azhdarchidae: But HE A D
Pterosauria: What does that even-
Azhdarchidae:
Thylacoleonidae: ok, what if vegetarian teeth Diprotodontia: sure Thylacoleonidae: but for MEATING
Diprodontia: how are you even going to do this
Thylacoleonidae: you are like baby, watch THIS -
Brachytracholepan: What if neck
Tehuelchesaurus: yep thats basically our identity
Brachytrachelopan: but chonk
Tehuelchesaurus: WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK
Brachytrachelopan: Chungus time
Ichthyovenator: What if, like, sail
Spinosaurus: Yes?
Ichthyovenator: but HOLE
Spinosaurus: Why would you-
Ichthyovenator:
Parasaurolophus: What if, you know, crest
Gryposaurus: Cool, go on
Parasaurolophus: but more
Gryposaurus: …okay?
Parasaurolophus: and trumpet
Gryposaurus: For wha-
Parasaurolophus: BIIIIIIIIIIGGGG HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNK
Yi Qi: What if, um, Wing
Anchiornis: Yes, yes go on,
Yi Qi: but, more skin
Anchiornis: But we are all doing this feth…….
Yi Qi: FLAP FLAP
Eoabelisaurus: What if, like, hand.
Asfaltovenator: Yeah?
Eoabelisaurus: But like, nub?
Asfaltovenator: But wouldn’t that–
90 MILLION YEARS OF EVOLUTION LATER
“…damnit!”
Kaprosuchus: Okay so.. teeth, yeah?
Crocodyliformes: Mmhmm?
Kaprosuchus: But they’re tusks
Crocodyliformes: Oh God..
Kaprosuchus: And I’m twenty feet long
Crocodyliformes: Don’t do it..
Kaprosuchus: And upright.
Crocodyliformes: Please sto-
Kaprosuchus:
Stethacanthus: okay, what if fin…
Cretoxyrhina: Yeah, what about it?
Stethacanthus: But anvil
Cretoxyrhina: What
Stethacanthus: with teeth
Cretoxyrhina: Nonononodon’t-
Stethacanthus: and teeth on forehead
Cretoxyrhina: STOP
Stethacanthus:
Opabinia: Hey, so–
Anomalocaris: oh God what now??
Opabinia: what if… Eye
Anomalocaris: no, stop
Opabinia: but FIVE
Anomalocaris: I SAID STOP
Opabinia: NOSE CLAW
Anomalocaris: YOU WHA–
Opabinia:
Tully Monster: greetings~
Every living creature, like, ever: Oh Jesus Christ what do you want
Tully Monster: :)
Every living creature ever: what
Tully Monster: :)))
Every living creature ever: I’m literally begging you to stop
Tully Monster: :)))))))))))))
Nyctosaurus: What if, like, head…
Pteranodon: Yeah?
Nyctosaurus: But FORK
Pteranodon: Nyctosaurus you are trying my patience…
(art by Julio Lacerda)
Corythosaurus: What if like, Head crest
Brachylophosaurus: Mhm Mhm Okay
Corythosaurus: But like, Circle
Brachylophosaurus: Excuse me What-?
Corythosaurus: circle
Ouranosaurus: What if Like, Dorsal Spine?
Spinosaurus: You are Stealing My whole Schtick-
Ouranosaurus: Fuck it, Dorsal Spine
Epidexipteryx: What if like, fingers?
Archaeopteryx: Yes we all have them.
Epidexipteryx: But like, long.
Archaeopteryx: Why would
Epidexipteryx: And teeth pointing forward.
Archaeopteryx: Please no more.
“I’d love to stop watching TV, but you cancelled school!”
aka, YouTube series to binge when you’re stuck indoors and you’d like to learn a little something.
ART!
Lindsay Ellis’ entire YouTube channel. It’s like film school for people who can’t afford film school.
Here she is teaching you about film theory… via the Transformers movies.
Here she is talking about the ways the potrayals of various characters have changed and developed over the years.
It’s Lit! A series hosted by Lindsay Ellis in collaboration with PBS, about reading, writing, and the publishing industry.
Brows Held High. Half comedy reviews, half artistic and political analysis of “highbrow” films – often both at once.
Also he has talked about Shakespeare a LOT. Like, so much, you guys.
ThugNotes. Advertised as “classic literature, original gangster.” Sparky Sweets, PhD, summarizes and analyzes some books you may have heard of.
Terrible Writing Advice. Teaching you how to write by telling you how not to write.
Maven of the Eventide. A very nerdy goth lady reviews vampire-focused content, and has thus talked quite a lot about the history of the vampire genre and how it’s developed over the centuries. It’s so awesome. She also has really cute kids who show up sometimes!
SCIENCE!
Sexplanations. One very smart lady answers all your sex ed questions. Yes, even that one.
Tibees. A PhD student explains physics and math… in the style of Bob Ross, baking videos, and shitposts.
Cool Worlds. Videos about astronomy and space and other planets, for when you want to think about how small you are.
Minute Physics. Complicated scientific ideas, in short, easy to digest videos.
SciShow: Hank Green and friends tackle serious scientific queries, like, “Why don’t we just throw trash into volcanoes?”
HISTORY!
Ruining History. Shane Madej infodumps about salacious periods in history that were left out of the books. People have always been weird, y’all.
On that note: Puppet History! It’s a new one, but it’s a lot like Ruining History, but with puppets and songs, too.
BuzzFeed Unsolved: True Crime. If I get mysteriously murdered with no leads, Ryan and Shane are the only people allowed to talk about it.
Also Supernatural often has some interesting historical tidbits.
MISCELLANEOUS CRAP!
Adam Ruins Everything. One very earnest, very nerdy man annoys his friends and family by debunking common misconceptions about everything from chemistry to the TSA to the funeral industry.
Last Week Tonight. Comedy news program hosted by a sad British man in America. Depending on the episode, you might see him get in a jockstrap-related feud with Russel Crowe, troll the FCC with robocalls, or interview Edward Snowden. Constantly wastes HBO’s money on stupid shit. Always funny, always informative, and he hates Trump SO. GODDAMN. MUCH.
Defunctland. Our host Kevin gives us the rundown on theme park attractions, and sometimes whole parks, that don’t exist anymore – how they were developed, and why they ultimately shut down.
He also has a side-series about kids’ TV shows that don’t exist anymore.
And a miniseries about the works of Jim Henson.
Daily Moth. American news given in ASL, with full English transcripts.
Ali Abdaal. A Cambridge grad talks about life has a junior doctor, and how to study and work more effectively.
Feel free to add!
types of people during corona time
ICONIC CINEMA!
im very grateful for the lessons in photography i was taught in stop motion class because just now they made it possible to photograph the stars with my phone in spite of the camera usually not detecting the light of stars because theyre so dim,,,, enjoy these shiny motherfuckers
ok so if everythings normal, your phone camera should have a manual mode (sometimes called pro mode). in it, change the settings of the shutter lag to 20 seconds, then put the phone down on some stable, plane surface and press the photo button (usually when using your camera, the volume buttons can be used as photo button) and let the phone still for the whole 20 seconds.
(basically the problem with most cameras is that they dont have a very good light sensitivity in the dark, however that doesnt mean they cant detect it at all. the longer the shutter is open, the more light your camera takes in and the more burnt/light your pic will be, so in (literally) dark situations, make the shutter lag longer to get all that light you need! also i said 20 seconds but really you can make it shorter or longer depending on what kinda stuff you want for your stars)
Yes this!
Additionally, adjust your ISO to the highest number (mimics the film used for very low light and low speed images)
And set your shutter speed to the longest time possible (on my phone it’s 10 seconds).
Leave your focus settings on Auto, and if your phone camera has a timer option, turn that on (five seconds is generally enough).
Plan your shot first, then find a place to set your phone down so you can get the image you want. The less light pollution, the better; you’ll pick up FAR more stars in your picture.
Once you know what you want to shoot, tap your screen to “focus” it, then hit the button to take the picture, set your phone down, and back away from the “tripod”. Don’t touch your phone for a good 15 seconds, just to be sure.
You will not be disappointed in the results, let me assure you.
Not even a little bit.
@tamberland
THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I’VE EVER LEARNED
Make Some Pocket Extenders for Your Pants
So I don’t know about you, but I’m often frustrated by the ridiculous smallness of girls’ pockets. At a bare minimum, I need to be able to shove my cellphone in there - come on, pants companies! So what I started doing was making myself pocket extenders. I’ve done this several times, for pants and shorts. It’s great.
I just got this pair of jeans, so I thought I’d show you how to do it. I kind of feel like it just hasn’t occurred to some of you that this is an option, so maybe now it will. All you need is your pants, some fabric (I just took a random piece from a scrap bin), a needle, and some thread (thread doesn’t even need to match the fabric since literally no one will see it).
See? Ridiculous. Like, half a cellphone, or only 2.5″. Useless.
So turn those inside out to expose the pockets.
Figure out how big you want your pockets to actually be. I kinda go by whatever looks like might be right. I didn’t really measure them. Fold the fabric in half, so you have a pocket, and then fold it in half again so you can have two equal ones.
Try to get the edges to line up enough, pin it in place, then sew up the sides! Are your stitches crazy uneven and wonky looking? Doesn’t matter; nobody’s going to see it. These are in the inside of your pants. The only thing that matters is that it holds up. So I double-did the corners, since those tend to get the most stress.
Cut open the bottom of the existing pockets.
Pin it in place, then sew around, joining the new pocket to the old pocket. I did this by keeping my hand on the inside, so I wouldn’t accidentally sew through the other side. Again, I reinforced the corners, and didn’t worry about what it actually looks like. Then I turned it in side out to make sure the inside was all joined properly.
Yay all done! And the pockets are so much bigger now!
Whaaaat I can fit my entire phone and entire hand and probably something else now, are girls’ pockets even allowed to do that?! Heck yeah they are.
You are a goddamn hero.
The fashion industry just needs to catch the fuck up!
The fashion industry wants to sell you pants AND a purse. They’ve made a conscious decision not to catch up.
My mind has been blown
messy thing just to get my thoughts down
Visually beautiful and concise, well done
This had my tired three seconds into it but the level of respect I have for them is immense.
The Irritating Gentleman - Berthold Woltze
1874
why does this communicate the universal mood we women experience so perfectly
This is doubly annoying because she’s clearly in mourning; look at her clothes. those are mourning clothes. The way she clutches her handkerchief. The wetness of her eyes. She’s not a lark to the seaside, she’s traveling to or from a funeral. And this dandy fuckboy can’t look beyond his own nose and have some fucking respect.
This is why I support artists. You can tell a story without any words at all. You don’t even need to title this piece “The Irritating Gentleman” and yet most 21st Century women will know exactly what this 19th Century woman endured on the day of that painting.
One Hundred Years Of Solitude by Kejun Zhao
A series of illustrations for the novel One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez
Books mentioned in An Unnecessary Woman
Here’s a list of all the books mentioned in Rabih Alameddine’s An Unnecessary Woman, a novel about a book-obsessed 72-year-old woman who only leaves her book-laden apartment when she has to. What are some of your favorites here? 1. Austerlitz (2001) by W G Sebald 2. The Emigrants (1992) by W G Sebald 3. 2666 (2004) by Roberto Bolaño 4. The Savage Detectives (1998) by Roberto Bolaño 5. A Heart So White (1992) by Javier Marias 6. Tomorrow in the Battle Think on Me (1994) by Javier Marias 7. Your Face Tomorrow Trilogy (2002-2007) by Javier Marias 8. A Tale of Two Cities (1859) by Charles Dickens 9. Invisible Cities (1972) by Italo Calvino 10. Cinnamon Shops (1934) by Bruno Schulz 11. The Conformist (1951) by Alberto Moravia 12. Lolita (1955) by Vladimir Nabokov 13. The Reluctant Fundamentalist (2007) by Mohsin Hamid 14. The Shipping News (1993) by Annie Proulx 15. The Magic Mountain (1924) by Thomas Mann 16. 100 Years of Solitude (1967) by Gabriel Garcia Marquez 17. The Year of the Death of Ricardo Reis (1984) by Jose Saramago 18. Murphy (1938) by Samuel Beckett 19. Waiting for Godot (1952) by Samuel Beckett 20. Death of a Travelling Salesman (1936) by Eudora Welty 21. Giovanni’s Room (1956) by James Baldwin 22. Corydon (1924) by Andre Gide 23. Sepharad (2001) by Antonio Muñoz Molina 24. Sophie’s Choice (1979) by William Styron 25. Nightwood (1936) by Djuna Barnes 26. The Leopard (1957) by Guiseppe Lampedusa 27. Kaddish for an Unborn Child (1990) by Imre Kertész 28. Fatelessness (1975) by Imre Kertész 29. Crime & Punishment ((1866) by Fyodor Dostoyevsky 30. The Brothers Karamozov (1880) by Fyodor Dostoyevsky 31. Madame Bovary (1856) by Gustave Flaubert 32. The Waves (1931) by Virginia Woolf 33. Mrs Dalloway (1925) by Virginia Woolf 34. Anna Karenina (1877) by Leo Tolstoy 35. The Book of Disquiet (1888-1935) by Fernando Pessoa 36. The Fall (1956) by Albert Camus 37. The French Lieutenant’s Woman (1969) by John Fowles 38. Metamorphosis (1915) by Franz Kafka [my review] 39. The English Patient (1992) by Michael Ondaatje 40. Dubliners (1914) by James Joyce 41. Herzog (1964) by Saul Bellow 42. Hills like White Elephants (1927) by Ernest Hemingway 43. For Whom the Bell Tolls (1940) by Ernest Hemingway 44. The Encyclopaedia of the Dead (1983) by Danilo Kiš 45. Ransom (2009) by David Malouf 46. The Colour Purple (1982) by Alice Walker 47. This Way for the Gas, Ladies and Gentlemen (1947) by TadeuszBorowski 48. Alice in Wonderland (1865) by Lewis Carroll 49. The Vanity of Human Wishes (1749) by Samuel Johnson 50. Flight Without End (1927) by Joseph Roth 51. Hunger (1890) by Knut Hamsun 52. A Book of Memories (1986) by Péter Nádas 53. The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie (1961) by Muriel Spark 54. A House for Mr Biswas (1961) by V S Naipaul 55. Midnight’s Children (1981) by Salman Rushdie 56. Waiting for the Barbarians (1980) by J M Coetzee
WHOEVER MADE THIS IS MY HERO