Not Spoiler Free @help-i-need-a-cool-username - Tumblr Blog

rationally speaking, in a world with dragons, almost any land animal above a certain size will largely live within/with direct access to dense tree cover to evade detection. similarly, water animals within a certain range of sizes will either be unintuitively fast for their mass or will largely populate lower depths.

this is because dragons, as commonly presented, are massive aerial pursuit predators with ranged artillery. minimum 10% of mammals will be hunted to extinction by these things before humans wise up that we might like to keep those animals around. on account of the ecology.

speaking of the ecology, grasslands as a concept would likely be unrecognizable to us in the real world, if they exist at all. without an array of large animals to maintain them, those grasses are NOT thriving.

of course, none of this applies to elephants. not because i think they'd be too big for dragons (although they are big enough that dragons might have a hard time carrying away any larger than a baby, if they eat other places than they kill) but because i think if dragons existed in their environment elephants would have a noble tradition of dragonslaying, and might even work alongside local humans to do so if given the opportunity

tamlins-stories-and-poems

It should be noted that basically immediately after posting this, he came downstairs to ramble disjointedly on this topic, particularly elephants being dragonslayers. Walked into the kitchen only to walk back out and point at me emphatically about European knights not knowing what they’re doing.

manyblinkinglights

what is up with all of you infants deciding the Hail Mary doesn’t have porn on it or that the porn is, like, filtered somehow. THE HAIL MARY HAS PORN ON IT. We don’t actually have confirmation that a snapshot of the Internet is on there, but inasmuch as we mostly decide that it’s funny if there is, all of the porn is just! Going to still be on it!

Counterargument: that is way too much data unless it’s on a crystal storage matrix or whatever that those Bay Area guys still have not iirc perfected. The internet is probably a vague sketch of itself, missing most video and images.

There is disappointingly little porn on the Hail Mary…

curlicuecal

the Hail Mary has heroin on it, you can bet it has porn on it

bananonbinary

these people were planning on dying out here after saving humanity, you think they didnt bring everything they wanted for a hedonistic display that would concern the gods when the time came?

thetypingdragon

I just finished a relisten of the audiobook, and canonically the ship has:

- Just about every piece of media Stratt could conceivably get her hands on, especially prioritizing scientific texts, but with no particular discretion to what might actually be useful.

- Enough of the internet (whatever that means) in addition the scientific texts that Eric could significantly advance themselves scientifically and technologically. Unclear how different this is from the science texts.

- Basically every video game that could conceivably be put on the Hail Mary and was available at time of planning. There was canonically frivolous stuff on there too. This is also evidence for them having the crazy storage required for video and images.

- Heroin

- Gun

Other Counterpoint: Stratt REALLY didn’t want people getting it on on the Hail Mary. She originally wanted the crew to be all straight men she was so worried about this. It’s possible porn would be the one area of media she WOULD exercise restraint for.

Counter-counterpoint: Ilyukhina would’ve made sure there was porn on the Hail Mary I can almost guarantee you. The woman wanted to go out high on heroin. Quote “I have been good girl all my life”.

manyblinkinglights

The video games are in there as an artifact of being copywritten! How much porn is under copyright? All of it that is, is on the Hail Mary.

If “enough of the internet” is a direct quote then it was presumably scraped or stored without porn as a priority, so it’s possible that VERY basic website categorization filters were used to screen for pornography/adult sites as irrelevant to the scientific endeavor. I will allow this (since too much utterly irrelevant stuff would at some point compromise the archive’s utility/indexing/searchability).

But that just means there’s gonna be scads of non English language porn, from my understanding of workplace filters. :P

help-i-need-a-cool-username

Theres no way theres not some kind of erotic fiction books even if video porn didnt make the cut somehow

#rocky listening to audiobooks and making grace explain certain parts #idk if grace would be down for it or absolutely dying #they both get hooked on some 12 part series by the end

cowardsexual

currently in hysterics cause i just realized olesya ilyukhina 100% demanded to bring a vibrator as part of her personal kit (it's a suicide mission, she deserves to enjoy her last days off earth for god's sake), eva stratt 100% vetoed it on account of the "crew members must not under any circumstances get sexually or romantically involved with each other" policy, and ryland grace was 100% forced to mediate that particular meeting

cowardsexual

for the record i DO think ilyukhina won that particular argument, because not having a vibrator isn't going to prevent her from masturbating in the last few months of her life and if anything it will make her MORE likely to break the rules and ask her colleagues for help.

grace discovers it a few months into the trip to Erid during what is otherwise an extremely somber moment where he goes through his dead friends' personal kits with rocky, and is suddenly hit with the double bat to the teeth of 1) instant flashback to the most agonising staff meeting of his life (and yes he's including the one where everyone asked him to die) and 2) rocky losing his entire shit laughing the moment he explained what it was. spends the entire day gloating that "eridian mating so much better, humans made tools to reinvent it from scratch"

manyblinkinglights

It’s just hard for me to accept him not finding it immediately during his initial crashout if it were present! He went through her stuff closely enough to pick out clothes and wear them.

Now, going through everyone’s things with Rocky AGAIN, later, sure. Like, in memoriam. But it WOULD be dangling over Grace like a silly little vibe of damocles, he’d be aware of it, and woe betide him if he wavers in his firm schoolteacherly mask of authority…

Cue the flashback his brain wasn’t up to on his first day. :p

cowardsexual

oh well, we never really see movie!grace being responsible for the prime crew's arrangements the way he explicitly is in the book so i was fully basing this on book!grace. the only time we see him go through their personal kits was for the taumoeba-82.5 celebration party, and he was in a rush and specifically looking for the vodka, so i can totally see him missing it (in the heat of the moment, or maybe wilfully. Not! Thinking about that right now!)

help-i-need-a-cool-username

He's gotta use it for her. Its what she would demand after that ridiculous meeting

Ilyukhina's ghost: Grace, if you ever cared about me at all youll take this vibrator and film yourself using it before sending it straight to Stratt. It was to be my final mission and now my last request is for you to complete it for me

help-i-need-a-cool-username

Grace: uhhh

Ghost: i specifically planned to use it in every room, multiple orgasms each. One hand on the camera and one hand on-

Grace: woah okay i get the picture

Ghost: ideally you and Yao would have joined in. Perhaps taken a turn. Really rub it in her face since that was her big argument

Grace: oh gosh

Ghost: so if you can get the alien to help in some way that would be great

#this is too funny y'all #im having to much fun #her and dubois probably choreographed the whole thing as a side project #she was gonna edit it to be a montage and have music and extra porn sounds

cowardsexual

currently in hysterics cause i just realized olesya ilyukhina 100% demanded to bring a vibrator as part of her personal kit (it's a suicide mission, she deserves to enjoy her last days off earth for god's sake), eva stratt 100% vetoed it on account of the "crew members must not under any circumstances get sexually or romantically involved with each other" policy, and ryland grace was 100% forced to mediate that particular meeting

cowardsexual

for the record i DO think ilyukhina won that particular argument, because not having a vibrator isn't going to prevent her from masturbating in the last few months of her life and if anything it will make her MORE likely to break the rules and ask her colleagues for help.

grace discovers it a few months into the trip to Erid during what is otherwise an extremely somber moment where he goes through his dead friends' personal kits with rocky, and is suddenly hit with the double bat to the teeth of 1) instant flashback to the most agonising staff meeting of his life (and yes he's including the one where everyone asked him to die) and 2) rocky losing his entire shit laughing the moment he explained what it was. spends the entire day gloating that "eridian mating so much better, humans made tools to reinvent it from scratch"

manyblinkinglights

It’s just hard for me to accept him not finding it immediately during his initial crashout if it were present! He went through her stuff closely enough to pick out clothes and wear them.

Now, going through everyone’s things with Rocky AGAIN, later, sure. Like, in memoriam. But it WOULD be dangling over Grace like a silly little vibe of damocles, he’d be aware of it, and woe betide him if he wavers in his firm schoolteacherly mask of authority…

Cue the flashback his brain wasn’t up to on his first day. :p

cowardsexual

oh well, we never really see movie!grace being responsible for the prime crew's arrangements the way he explicitly is in the book so i was fully basing this on book!grace. the only time we see him go through their personal kits was for the taumoeba-82.5 celebration party, and he was in a rush and specifically looking for the vodka, so i can totally see him missing it (in the heat of the moment, or maybe wilfully. Not! Thinking about that right now!)

help-i-need-a-cool-username

He's gotta use it for her. Its what she would demand after that ridiculous meeting

Ilyukhina's ghost: Grace, if you ever cared about me at all youll take this vibrator and film yourself using it before sending it straight to Stratt. It was to be my final mission and now my last request is for you to complete it for me

#someone write this #please

digitalmyyth

my petri dish planet.........

kedreeva

I offered to come check on my friend's animals while she's away for the long weekend

She thinks I'm joking

But I'm ready

eunyisadoran

Wait. Are there 200, but to be numbered 1-250? Did I read those tags right? 😲

kedreeva

Yes there are actually 202 of them, the company sent 2 extra in the package, and I will be numbering them on the bottom with sharpie marker 1-250. This will ensure even if she manages to find all 202, she will never truly stop feeling like there might be a tiny duck somewhere unknown in the house. Lurking. Waiting to appear at the strangest time.

talesfromtreatment

#sometimes you must be gently evil to your friends#so they know you love them enough

very very important

ifririt

hey op i don't think those are frogs like you said

armayes

they're right those arent frogs op.

kedreeva

I meant to prank my friend by hiding hundreds of small ducks after saying I would hide small frogs, but it turns out due to some quirk of only 3 people on the entire Internet knowing what a prank is, it seems I have pranked hundreds of other people by saying I would put 100 small frogs in my friends house, when in fact the prank was that it was 202 small ducks.

kedreeva

an update. it has been over 4 months and they are still finding ducks

kedreeva

1 year and 7 months later:

kedreeva

#imagine the dread she felt when she found the first duck and realized op wasn't joking (via @robyn-goodfellowe)

The key to a good prank, imo, is that the person you're pranking should not feel bad. They should feel delight. My friend has 2 kids. She walked in the door from her vacation, and instead of having two cranky children to deal with as soon as she got home on top of everything else, she got two children excited to run around finding small ducks. My friend knows me well enough to know that when I say weird things there's always a chance I'm not joking, and she would have said no (and been respected) if she didn't want this. The prank was never that I was hiding the toys, just which toys they were, and how many would be hidden.

evstratt

EVA STRATT WEEK 2026 @dailyprojecthailmary day 4 ‧ colors / stars / light: character profile

starvariety

i love this shot they’re all so weirded out

eridiancigarettes

robertseanleonardthinker

shut up i love him

[video description: james ortiz walks up to the interviewer at a premiere event. the interviewer is holding a microphone with a 3D printed rocky hand on it, which he looks at with delight. he looks at a woman off to the (viewer's) left, then back at the interviewer, breaking into a grin. end ID]

down-in-dixie

Sunrises & sunsets in Disney films

starvariety

i love this shot they’re all so weirded out

toasthaste

#tfw you meet a guy who wont stop talking like a pbs kids presenter and it turns out hes in charge of the nukes round here (@startingatmidnight)

assiraphales

the crazy thing is if a historically accurate pirate movie came out it would be called woke propaganda. they were multi cultural crews that included black & indigenous men (and while some captains obviously held the prejudice of the time) a lot of crews treated them as equals. most ships were run on democratic systems of equal say, equal vote, equal share and they used to break pieces of jewelry apart so they’d all get the same amount of gold. they valued art (music and even put on plays) and had working conditions that were FAR better than the merchant ships and the british. piracy was in some cases a response an exploitive system and a lot of people who turned to the seas had been wronged by the rich, w sam bellamy’s crew even calling themselves robin hood’s men

help-i-need-a-cool-username

There were no set crews, with every one being disbanded after a trip and free to leave or rejoin. Captains would be chosen by vote before every trip. Everyone would debate and agree on what went on the "pirate code" before signing also before every trip. All pirates were equal and you could only be a pirate willingly, making everyone on board a pirate or a prisoner (pirates were known to capture people with navigation skills). Many prisoners choosing to be pirates so they could be free men. They deliberately avoided targets that would fight back. The average career length was 2 years before retirement. So many pirates were ex-navy because it sucked so much to be in the navy. Its true some pirate ships forbade women but it was specifically the women who sold their smuggled goods for them on land that made them rich and provided safety in the form of alibis and reputations

#a chance dump my pirate lore facts? its more likely than i thought #just imagine a diverse cast of sea cowboys and that was it

stephanie-brown-week

The prompts for Stephanie Brown weekend 2026 are here! Each day has three prompts and a theme. There are three additional wild card prompts that can be swapped out for any prompt or used as inspiration for our free day. Plain text version under the cut: