Pinups and Strippers @astrippernamedbettie - Tumblr Blog

Posts

argumate

where are those startups that are disrupting the glasses industry

ms-demeanor

zenni and it’s amazing and i love it 40 dollar bifocals fuck yeah

ms-demeanor

Hey I’m reblogging this again because if you need glasses here’s what I do:

Go to Costco/Sams Club/WalMart - wherever they’ve got that $58 eye exam. That’s with no insurance, btw. Just $58 cash on the counter, you get your eyes examined.

They’ll give you a copy of your prescription. ASK THE DOCTOR TO MEASURE YOUR PUPIL DISTANCE. If they don’t it’s not a huge deal, you just have to have a ruler around that has millimeters so you can measure it yourself and it won’t be as accurate but being off by as much as a centimeter isn’t a problem.

Make them give you a copy of your prescription - you are allowed to have this, they have to give you it, you don’t have to buy glasses there. If anyone challenges you say you need a copy for your records and you’re not going to buy glasses today.

Go to https://www.zennioptical.com/ and start looking at frames/glasses that you like. If you create an account it’ll let you upload a photo and based on your pupil distance the site will estimate how well various frames will fit you.

Add the frames you like to cart and start checking out - the checkout process will ask you for your RX details that will be written in the boxes on your RX page. It’s pretty intuitive to copy it over but if you get lost use the livechat feature on the zenni page.

Start selecting your glasses details. Your RX will determine what kind of lens you get (go with the one zenni recommends for materials and thickness) but your needs will determine the other stuff. I make sure to get the fancy oleophobic coating because I’m a slimy bog monster. I also get the cheapest pair of sunglasses possible because bog monsters hate the sun. You can get transitions lenses or anti-scratch coating or super lightweight lenses or whatever works best for you. The extras will add up in cost but you gotta do what you gotta do - my life is much better with a pair of sunglasses than it is with some clip-ons for my regular glasses; your life may be better with transitions lenses instead of carrying a second set of glasses. DO WHAT WORKS BEST FOR YOU.

Don’t bother paying the rush shipping, this is going to take two weeks regardless.

GLASSES ARRIVE. WEAR GLASSES.

If the fit isn’t perfect see if the place that did your eye exam will adjust the fit for you. They often will free of charge.

GLASSES. GLASSES. I CAN SEE.

PROGRESSIVE BIFOCALS THAT COST $40 WITH CUTE FRAMES AND NICE COATING.

SUNGLASSES.

FUCK

It costs less for me to get two pairs of bifocals, one tinted and one clear, with special coatings and nice frames than it would cost me to get one pair of single-vision glasses from Warby Parker.

The cheapest frames available for adults on Lenscrafter’s site is $69.95. That is JUST the frames, not the lenses. The lenses are like $200. The anti-glare coating is like $70. THE ANTI GLARE COATING IS FREE AND INCLUDED WITH YOUR PURCHASE AT ZENNI. Just the frames and the coating at lenscrafters costs more than my two pairs of glasses AND my eye exam.

I can’t articulate how many literal headaches Zenni has saved me because I just used to wear my old prescription until I had trouble keeping my eyes open from the strain. Now at the first hint of eye strain it’s like “Not today, Satan!” and I can plan for the $100 expense that’s going to last me potentially years.

marinashutup

I’ve had glasses places try to bully me into buying their overpriced glasses (even though they were supposed to offer eye exams no strings attached.) The Stanton Optical manager called me repeatedly trying to get my sale, after one of his employees literally mocked me for wanting to buy cheaper glasses online. I was firm about it and didn’t give in because fuck them.

kelssiel

also just a quick note on pupil distances:

if you’re PD is like mine and ends in a .5 or something like that and they only have whole numbers put the nearest whole number in the box then add a note with your real PD and they’ll fix it

theblasianbarbie

another great website that i always use is eyebuydirect.com

ive been buying from them for 2+ years and their glasses start at $6 and they dont charge extra to put your prescription in. the only thing is that it takes about 2 weeks for the glasses to get to you but its worth it. my glasses are still in good condition and they always have bogo sales. and they give you like I think 10 or 15% off your first purchase if you use this code IFR6WNLQ4H

jehovahhthickness

Thank you for this!!!!!!!!!!

gothicstripper

I needed this because I actually have awful eyesight and I’ve been putting this off all my life

just-juno-stripping

Yasss Zenni saved me. I have such a cute pair from them and they’re sturdy too.

stripperina

I turn 18 next month and I really have seriously considered being a stripper since I was 15, any key advice you could give me? Like shit you would've told urself when u started? I could use all the advice I can get lol but thnksx10 xx ♡

Work on your hustle game as soon as you start.

Talk to every guy who gives you eye contact.

Ask for dances from anyone who sits at your rack.

Practice approaching guys and starting conversations with them.

When you use a good line on a guy, save it and use it again in the future.

When you give a lap dance, move slowly and sensually and explore the space you have rather than sitting there grinding for 4 minutes.

Look into his eyes flirtatiously/sexily during the lapdance.

Don’t forget your face: on stage and in the lapdance room, make sure you’re ALWAYS making a sexy, approachable face.

Treat your lapdances like a product and do your best to convince people to buy them.

Always try to upsell. Don’t give it all away in the first song. Tell people one song isn’t even worth it, they’ll need at least two.

When they ask how much a lapdance is say “Only $__”.

When it’s time to ask them if they want to continue with another dance, get real close and whisper it in their ear.

Don’t be afraid to be a little pushy.

Don’t be afraid to say no or stop if anyone does something you’re uncomfortable with!!!

Don’t be afraid to demand what you deserve.

Don’t be afraid to blame the club for things, i.e. “I’ll get fired if you touch me.” rather than “I don’t let guys touch me.”

Don’t be afraid to insult people to their faces when they insult you. Stand up for yourself!

Wear makeup, false lashes and pencil in your eyebrows.

Watch and learn from the other dancers, but don’t copy them.

Don’t hate on other sex workers, just because you draw a line where they don’t.

Don’t shit where you eat; AKA don’t start or get involved with drama at work. Be an ally to your coworkers.

Shower immediately after every shift!! Don’t go to bed without bathing. Wash with anti-bacterial soap.

Dance SLOWLY at first. Nothing looks worse than an unskilled dancer flailing around onstage to too-fast music. (Me when I started TBH)

remybottleinmypussy

These are great tips, even if you’ve already been dancing for a little while.

beardysgarden-blog

Ten Mistakes New Herb Gardeners Make (and How to Avoid Them!)

Mistake 1: Growing from seed. When you first start out trying to grow fresh herbs, I recommend you begin by trying to grow from seedlings rather than planting your own seeds. These great little starter plants are widely available in grocery stores in the late spring. For the same price as a packet of fresh herbs from the produce section, you can buy your own little starter plant. Lots can go wrong in the seed to seedling transition (including not thinning out plants properly), so its probably best to begin by skipping that complicated task or you are in danger of washing out before you really begin.

Mistake 2: Starting with the wrong varieties. I recommend you start by trying to grow fresh basil. It is the perfect trainer herb. First, basil grows quickly, allowing you to observe the effects of your care more easily. Second, basil leaves wilt visibly when not watered enough, but recovers well if you water the wilted plant. This makes basil a great ‘canary in the mineshaft’ to help you figure out how much water is enough.

Mistake 3: Watering herbs like houseplants. Instead, water herbs a moderate amount every day. While some houseplants flourish with one solid watering per week, most delicate herbs require moderate and regular watering. This is particularly true during hot summer months. If you have good drainage at the bottom of your pot (at least a drainage hole, possibly rocks beneath the soil), it will be difficult to water herbs too much.

Mistake 4: Not cutting early and often. As a novice gardener, it may seem like your puny little plant just isn’t ready for a trip to the barber, but then you will find yourself sitting there wishing for leaves without much success. Again, basil is a great herb to practice pruning. As with all herbs, you want to cut the herb just above a set of growing leaves. With basil, when you cut the plant that way, the originally trimmed stem will no longer grow. However, two new stems will grow around the original cutting, creating a “V” shape (see the photo above, can you spot the Vs?). If you don’t trim basil aggressively, it will continue to grow straight up, and become too tall and top-heavy. Making your first trim approximately 3-4” above the soil produces a nice sturdy plant. Of course you want to be sure you are always leaving a few good sturdy leaves on the plant (see below). As it continues to grow, continue to prune it approximately every 3-4" for a nice solid plant. I like to let it grow for some time and then cut back to within 2-3 inches of the original cut. After only a few early trial cuts, this usually makes for a nice clipping with plenty of basil to use for a pizza.

Mistake 5: Taking the leaves from the wrong place. When you are just starting out it seems to make so much sense to pick off a few big leaves around the bottom of the plant, and let those tender little guys at the top keep growing. Wrong. Leave those large tough old guys at the bottom alone. They are the solar panels that power your herb’s growth. Once your plant is big enough to sustain a decent harvest, keep on taking from the top, as you have been when you were pruning. That way you get all those tender new herbs that are so tasty, and your plant gets to keep its well developed solar power system in place. Plus, if you pluck from the base and leave the top intact, you get a tall skinny plant that will flop over from its own weight (and yes, I know this from experience). When you pluck from the top, instead of clipping off just below a pair of leaves, you want to clip off just above a pair of leaves. It is a bit counter-intuitive as a novice, but trust me it works. The place where the leaf joins the stem is where new growth will occur when your plant sends off new stems in a V.

Mistake 6: Letting your plants get too randy. If you are pruning regularly, this may never become an issue, but unless you are growing something for its edible flowers, be sure to cut back herbs before they start growing flowers. My friend once brought me to her backyard garden and pointed, frustrated, at her wimpy, small basil plants. “I just keep tending them, but they don’t even produce enough leaves to put on a salad!” she lamented. I pointed to the glorious stalk of flowers at the top of each plant, “That’s your problem” I explained. Because herbs are kind of like college boys: if you give them half a chance, they will focus all their energy on procreation and neglect growth. If you want leaves, keep cutting off the little flower buds whenever you find them (see photo above), and it will encourage your plant to focus on growing more leaves.

Mistake 7: Using tired soil with no nutrients. Tired soil that has been sitting in your garden or lawn for ages often looks grey and a little depressing. Would you want to grow in that stuff? Give your plants a dose of the good stuff and they’ll thank you for it. I grow my herbs in a combination of potting soil, used coffee grounds (with a near-neutral PH, available for free at Starbucks), and organic compost. If I have some on hand, I also throw in crushed egg shells. Those without access to compost (and no deep commitment to organic growing) may find Miracle grow useful. My momma swears by it for tomatoes. A diluted solution of Miracle grow occasionally can help many herbs flourish.

Mistake 8: Getting in a rut. There is an element to passion about herb gardening. In order to be good at it, you need to feel rewarded. So don’t stick too long with one or two herbs just because they work. Branch out to a few other basic herbs that you will use regularly in your kitchen. There are few things more rewarding as an urban foodie than being able to pop out to the fire escape to clip fresh herbs to use in my cooking. Once you have become comfortable with basil, I recommend moving on to try growing oregano, mint, rosemary and thyme. All are regularly useful herbs in the kitchen, and all are relatively easy to grow. You will notice that rosemary cleaves after cutting in a somewhat similar way to basil, but grows much more slowly, so the effect is difficult to notice. Some plants also respond to clipping by throwing out more full leaves at their base. I have long wanted to grow cilantro but have not had much luck with it.

Mistake 9: You mean there’s more than one kind of mint?When choosing herbs, read the label carefully. For example, there are two main varieties of oregano: Mediterranean and Mexican. Mediterranean oregano is the more common variety, and what you likely own if you have conventional dried oregano in your cupboard. I have Mexican oregano growing on my back fire escape. I love Mexican oregano in spicy dishes, for making beans from scratch, and often use it in tomato dishes where I don’t want the flavor to seem too much like marinara. Similarly, there are many different kinds of mint. You don’t want to be thinking of the pungent spearmint plant and accidentally take home the much more subtle (and not mojito savvy) applemint by mistake.

Mistake 10: Feed me Seymour! If you are planting in soil instead of pots, take care that your cute little herb seedling doesn’t become a giant plant that takes over your garden. A word of warning for oregano and mint: both can be voracious growers. If you are planting outside in a garden, rather than in pots, you may want to consider potting these herbs and then burying the pots in the ground. This will add a measure of control to the root systems of these herbs, which can otherwise take over a garden and strangle nearby neighbors. When in doubt, check out wikipedia, they usually are careful to point out which herbs are in danger of overwhelming your garden.

Some really useful info here if you’re new to herb gardening.

jacqthestripper

If strippers started showing up to other people’s workplaces and pulled the stunts y'all can’t stop trying to pull when you walk into our house.

originally published on jacqthestripper.com

iridescentavocado

The last one lmao

highh0pes333

I think we just need to fuck it out.

itmedaddy-deactivated20180802

The suit does all the talking.

astrippernamedbettie

Mmmm... again! Again!

vampiregerards

”when i was your age i-”

yes but this is not 1985 anymore things have changed literally everything is different so what you did when you were my age is completely irrelevant why is this so hard for parents to understand

astrippernamedbettie

Oh. Shit. That made me feel old.