#Injunada

Hi, I'm Pía! I'm an Aqua sun/Taurus moon. about // tags // ask away

[astrolomermaid-blog]

this year is a 9 year + me turning 18 (=9) + my personal year number being 6

my progressed moon in the 12th house and in capricorn

my solar return with a taurus rising and having a 8th house stellium (that includes venus and pluto) + the sun and saturn in the 7th house

transiting pluto conjunct my natal venus

=

im going to do everything slowly and still everything is going to be intense and complicated

@the universe: just fuck me up. i’m ready

[astrolomermaid-blog]

HOLY COW i had forgotten about all this!!

i have been having some really bad mental health weeks and one of the main reasons is because i feel like im stuck on repeat. like theres nothing bad with my day to day life but nothing happens. nothing changes. and i’ve been having this suffocating feeling as if i’m gonna stay like this for the rest of my life. i guess now i know why

on the other hand there hasnt been many things happening in my love life right now but love, relationships with others, my sexuality and my intimacy problems have been round and round in my head nonstop

above anything else i’m holding on. i’ve been with really bad headaches which was the only thing i can remember from the times where i was the most depressed, and ive been feeling like i’m losing it a little but i’m still here and as hard as it gets i’m persevering

[astrolomermaid-blog]

long time no see tumblr ! im even more inactive here than in my own personal blog and that’s something!

as the year comes to an end and im here reevaluating what has happened so far, even though we’re still two months away from the end of my current solar return, i decided to check my SR again just for fun

first of all some of the placement i mentioned are wrong lmao.

i have my sun in the 9th house

the ones in my 7th house are my moon and saturn

but venus, pluto and mercury are in a chain of close conjunctions in the 8th as i said before.

my rising is either taurus or gemini, will never know ! (i was away for my birthday this year which changed it) but i think taurus fits better

my mars is in the 6th

my sun in the 9th is truly fitting since i’ve been completely focused in doing good in college but also doubting what i’m studying and if i’m fit for it. it’s just so important for my ego to be able to do well in college (while juggling with everything else), and to actually be studying something that i like. also i’ve been so into travelling and stuff !!

my moon and saturn in the 7th and relationships have been in my head nonstop this year, especially these past months. after going round and round for months i finally got into a relationship (we arent bf/gf tho yet) with this guy im friends with, honoring saturn he’s older than me

as i mentioned before, venus and pluto in the 8th also are fitting since i’ve had to deal a LOT with sex, sexuality and intimacy this year and it hasnt been the funniest thing to do :( but it was needed. mercury in the 8th also is fitting. this year i decided i didn’t want to keep secrets anymore. i decided to share really intimate parts of myself and my life (like my mental health problems and family issues ) with my best friends, and i had to address my sexuality and my issues with intimacy with the boy im dating (even if superficially)

also my SR mars in the 6th and nothing is making me lose my temper and making me so upset as work lol i love my job but i do not like the way things are playing out now and its revolting.

finally i think taurus rising is more fitting bc thats the way ive been approaching things. i have had a really really bad mental health lately. my mind is spiraling down into a depression hole again, im doing shit like not eating, not training, not sleeping again, and i’ve been thinking a lot about cutting and wanting to die again. but i’m holding on and i’m persevering. slowly and steady things will be fine. im not allowing my feelings and intrusive thoughts ruin the things i’ve achieved. im completely fixated on getting what  want and what i want is to be okay

[astral-obscura]

So 2020 is expected to be shit bc of the Saturn - Pluto aspect, but why is 2016 so awful? Astrologically, what could explain why 2016 is so bad?

Saturn and Mars have been conjunct for much of the year, Uranus is in Aries, and Pluto is in Capricorn (there have been a few Pluto-Uranus squares this year, I think). Chiron is in Pisces, which some people say is its detriment. Also, if you believe in numerology, 2016 is a 9 year, which is the end of a cycle, so things are being forced to end/start. Basically there’s a lot of volatile energy bouncing around. And in my opinion, 2016 is simply the year everybody’s naturally realizing all the shit that’s been happening for decades

[astrolomermaid-blog]

this is called “im too poor to afford a psychologist and i have no friends anymore so i’guess ill just vent on my blog” and i wouldn’t recommend reading it lmao

there are so many things going on in my life right now. and there are so many things going on within me as well.

the main one is that i'm still Depressed. I've learnt to manage my anxiety a lot better, i think these past years i've seen myself so forced to do stuff even though it makes me feel like i'm going to die that i've cured myself from any type of anxiety disorder lol. i mean i still feel unconfortable and insecure but i can pull of pretty much anything so it's not an issue. but, as i said, i'm still Depressed. the big ol' depression. i just started laughing because i was cleaning my personal blog (that i no longer can use to vent bc too many ppl irl know it exists) and i found a post from the beginning of the year (when i was having a really really bad time, even worse than now) saying that when i was younger i thought when you turned 18 you magically stopped being depressed (which did not happen to me lol). its just so funny, to not say tragic, to me. i've done so much to get better. and i did get better. but it's becoming so tiring. like a bad case of gastroenteritis that no one took care of, my depression became chronic after a lot of time of not being dealt with. now it comes back at me every once in a while and it leaves me with some weeks or months were i literally live my daily life feeling like i'm drowning. and i'm tired. i'm exahusted. people always mock me because i'm tired all the time, without realizing that i literally waste every single drop of energy to be functional and to fight back my depression. every day i do that shit and every night i go to bed feeling like i'm about to dissolve because of how goddamn tired i am. and i'm done. it just feels pointless. why am i wasting all my energy on this, if it seems inevitable that my depression will eventually come back full force and hit me like a fucking train? is it even worth it? i just want to be okay. i was gonna write i want to be happy but that's not fair. i'm happy, so goddamn happy. with their flaws and everything i have a family that loves me, a job that makes me happy, really good friends (even if they are far away now and i just dont want to bother them anymore with my problems), iand 'm doing well on college. now i even have #him. i'm happy. but i don't feel okay. i'm not comfortable in my own skin, i'm constantly feeling out of place. out of breath. every little inconvenient makes me feel such a disastrous discomfort that i just cannot explain, even if i wanted. a discomfort with myself. i cannot stop thinking about everything thats wrong with me (im ugly, im stupid, i have no talent, im a bad person, im selfish, im childish). i cannot stop thinking that i'm not enough and i will never be enough. no matter how much i try. the only thing i ever hoped for is to have a positive impact in somebody elses life but im feeling desperate now. i'm a terrible daugther, a terrible sister. i'm a terrible friend, some of my closest friends probably would need me to be more present in their lives right now and i cannot do it because im too busy pitying myself. i'm an awful teacher, my students really need someone more thoughtful, more helpful, more attentive, and i just am not enough. i cannot give those wonderful girls all that they need. and i'm definetly not good for him. fuck for once i like someone and that someone likes me back and i happen to be ME, an actual piece of shit. he had a nasty day and the only thing my depressed ass can do is complain about my own shitty day, like i do literally everyday because i have been feeling so bad lately. i'm so goddamn toxic for everyone around me lately and im so tired. i wanna be good for the ones i love. i wanna be helpful, be that one thing even in the shittiest days that will make them feel like this are alright, the way they play that role in my life. but i cannot do that. i'm not enough, i'll never be enough. and that thought is revolting. if i cannot be enough then i dont want to be nothing at all.

also i've been dissociating so much lately. i'm a little bit better now but it's still so annoying. i read somewhere dissociation is a defense mechanism that children (who experienced trauma at a young age) develop to block out the pain and the fear from whatever traumatic situation they went through. and as a result the mind starts dissociating whenever it feels like it's about to go through something painful again. i still don't know if i'm allowed to say what happened to me as a child was traumatizing or not, but i started noticing that pattern in my life. everytime things become too much i block myself and become numb. and when things start changing and i find myself in situations where i no longer have control it gets so much worse. so many things have been happening in my life and the fact that now i'm dating #him was the last straw. things have changed and i no longer have control. i'm no longer safe. from here i don't know what will happen. and my brain thinks the best solution is to just block everything out. i'm constantly feeling like i'm not actually the one living my life and i'm just some espectator. i'm with him, or out with my friends or working and i don't feel like i'm really there. i feel like i'm a ghost outside of my body just watching everything that happens. and my memories feel so hazy, so unreal. as if they weren't mine. like if i'm not with him i just feel like it hasn't happened, because my memories of being with him don't feel mine, don't feel real. and if i'm not with my friends the same thing happens, i start feeling anxious and paranoid ("maybe they actually hate me and i annoy them!") because all the good times we spent together and all the thing they did for me feel so surreal and distant. besides the anxiety and paranoia that this provokes me what annoys me the most is that i just cant enjoy things. i'm out there with the people i love, having fun, but im not really there and im not really enjoying things, at least not as much as the others. and it's a really shitty feeling you know? i want to feel okay, i want things to feel real. i want to share the enthusiasm others feel for the things we're doing and we're sharing. you know how shitty it is to be with #him and know he's super into whatever we're doing and i'm just. there. outside. watching as an spectator. it's sickening. it's heartbreaking. and it makes me feel especially bad for him, because i know how shitty it is to know you're a lot more into something than the other person.

another thing that has been troubling me SO MUCH is the way things have been lately. as a whole. around the entire world. have any of you read the paper or watched tv? things are getting crazier and crazier. there's so much violence and cruelty out there and it just doesn't make sense to me. why are things like this?? it's suffocating to see all the things that are happening and know it's so far out of your control. and its just. something that doesnt make sense to me. i'm not the best person out there but not for once i ever thought of purposefully hurting someone else, especially with the levels of cruelty and monstruosity that you get to see everyday. and what drives me the craziest is that i can't do anything, not even to keep the ones i love safe. it makes me sick to think that anything like that could ever happen to my family, my friends, my students, him. and i just feel like i cannot live with that fact. with the fact that it's a situation that we'll have to get used to because it's far out of our control. i cannot feel okay knowing the awful things can can potentially happen to any of them. like i know we all go through rough shit but enough is enough and there's a difference between "rough shit" and the madness that has been developing.

among other minor subjects i'm having a life crisis. i feel so stupid for college and i'm afraid i will be terrible as a teacher. i'm doubting myself as a teacher already in my current job, and i've seriously considered quitting next year. i need to get out of my house immediately. it's driving crazy. it's so toxic to be here sometimes. i come home after all these shitty ass days i've been having and i cannot have a break because i gotta keep up the act that everything is okay for my parents. and i have all these flashbacks and revolting memories whenever i'm around my dad. i still have little flashes where the fear i felt as a kid comes back. and i cannot be at ease in my house. i dont have a home, i dont have a safe place. and my safe place used to be my friends but they are so far away now. i miss them so much. i never thought i could ever feel as awfully lonely as i feel right now. i keep hating every inch of my body. watching my reflection in the mirror feels like a torture and getting naked in front of him with a goddamn light turned on has been the most excrusiating thing i've done in a long time. i'm having such a hard time dealing with my sexuality right now. i never really said it to anyone but im pretty much asexual. i dont feel sexual attraction, i've never felt it. i don't really get horny and i'm not a very sensitive person when it comes down to actually having sex (like it's cool and i have fun but it isnt a big deal for me?). so now that i'm with him and we're having sex often i feel kind of guilty. like he's super into it and i'm just here like yey fun times. i hate not reciprocating what other people feel. and also it's something i can never talk about, because i feel like it kind of sounds like i'm having sex even though i dont want to and its not like that. i do want to have sex, but only with him, because its him. because i feel this need to be closer and closer to him and sex just feels like a really good way of achieving it. and idk if it has always been hard to identify as ace in a society so obsessed with sex like ours, now it's harder because the label of "asexual" really doesn't match the fact that i do have sex (at least not for most people lol, it does match for me).

and idk ugh its late and im tired. i've already cried enough tonight and tomorrow i have a long day so i better go get some sleep

[astrologymarina]

tell me about your pluto aspects and how you experience them

[astrolomermaid-blog]

i have pluto square mars at 0º09′ i’m so defensive!! im always ready to defend myself (especially physically). im overall really good at surviving, i have been able to push myself and get through really sticky situations on my own (also that, idk how to accept help form others, gotta do things on my own lol). i’ve been abused emotionally/verbally/physically in the past and im terrified of either falling into the vicious circle of constantly getting in that type of relationship over and over or (even worse) end up becoming an abuser myself. 

also ive noted most of the people ansering this had pluto aspecting moon! like A LOT.

[ahzodiac]

Venus Signs

Aries

Believes love should happen at first sight; likes independent, go-getters; enjoys chasing and being chased

Arguing and friendly competition is an aphrodisiac

Attracts love by inspiring/encouraging suitors to pursue and “win” her/him

Flirts by teasing and picking fights; 

Wants to be #1 in the relationship (and in her/his partner’s life) or will lose interest quickly

Taurus

Believes love should come after a lot of long-term consideration; likes (and is impressed by) wealthy people

Rich, comfort foods, receiving massages, listening to music, and fragrances that smell like something edible (mmm vanilla!) are aphrodisiacs

Attracts love by being emotionally stable and having consistent habits

Flirts by providing physical comfort

Wants to feel secure in relationships and “know where this is going”

Gemini

Believes love should mean never having to say, “I’m bored”; likes quotable, multifaceted people who have lots of diverse interests

Verbal/written expressions of love are aphrodisiacs

Attracts love by being infinitely entertaining

Flirts by sharing thoughts & feelings and assigning pet names

Wants 24/7 communication accessibility in relationships; variety, unpredictability

Cancer

Believes love should be nurturing; likes people who need mothering (or who are mothering) and are appreciative of her efforts

Emotional bonding and cuddling are aphrodisiacs

Attracts love by making people feel cozy and sheltered; 

Flirts by feeding and/or cooking for someone, remembering preferences, giving thoughtful tokens of affection

Wants interdependence in relationships

Leo

Believes love should ALWAYS consist of romance, drama, fun, and loyalty; likes people who stand out in socially acceptable ways 

Receiving awe-inspiring gifts and positive, focused attention from an audience are aphrodisiacs

Attracts love by playing up strengths and downplaying weaknesses, and inspiring chivalry

Flirts by complimenting

Wants emotionally-moving displays of appreciation and gratitude in relationships

Virgo

Believes love should involve making a commitment to take care of someone else; likes hard-workers who pay attention to details (conversely, is also attracted to flawed, disorganized partners that need fixing)

good hygiene, a neat appearance, and an orderly environment are aphrodisiacs 

Attracts love by handling all of the “dirty work” in a partner’s life

Flirts by making analytical observations, self-deprecating humor, or offering self-improvement advice

Wants to feel needed and useful in relationships

Libra

Believes love should = 50/50 partnership + 24/7 romance; likes attractive, intelligent, and sociable people

The usual romantic clichés (such as rose petals on the bed and long, moonlit walks on the beach) are aphrodisiacs

Attracts love by being charming company, understanding and attentive

Flirts indiscriminately for attention and popularity

Wants equality, romance, and lots of attention in relationships; beauty, making plans as a couple 

Scorpio

Believes love should be passionate, intense, and life-altering; likes to associate with powerful people whose sexuality comes in contradictory layers

A strong sex drive, instant chemistry, intensity, and loyalty are aphrodisiacs

Attracts love by keeping a mate’s secrets, developing an emotional bond, and not wanting to share the partner’s affection

Flirts through seduction

Wants to have control and trust in a relationship

Sagittarius

Believes love should bring happiness, great times, and good luck; likes outgoing, intelligent, independent, adventurous people

Visiting exotic places, meeting foreign people, exploring foreign cultures, and different accents are aphrodisiacs

Attracts love by being friendly, fun-loving, generous, and free-spirited

Flirts through friendly conversation and making someone laugh

Wants freedom, honesty, few expectations, and undefined commitment in a relationship

Capricorn

Believes love should make people keep their word; likes responsible, successful people who can help with achieving aspirations

Knowing what’s coming next is an aphrodisiac

Attracts love by being dependable and loyal; shows affection by honoring commitments and not leaving the relationship; 

Flirts by getting straight to the point, assessing a potential mate’s value, and showing off their dry wit as they feel more comfortable

Wants a solid commitment from the right person in relationships

Aquarius

Believes love should be dessert with friendship as the main entrée; likes free-spirited, eccentric people who aren’t afraid to go against the status quo

Discussing new, inventive ways to have sex is an aphrodisiac

Attracts love by being friendly to everyone

Flirts by sharing unusual ideas and opinions

Wants a best friend, intellectually stimulating company and emotional detachment in relationships

Pisces

Believes love should be a perfect blend of an intuitive, spiritual bond and romance; likes nonjudgmental, creative people who think and communicate in imaginative ways

Dreamy kisses that cause tingles, foot massages, bubble baths, and mind-altering substances or practices are aphrodisiacs

Attracts love by being infinitely compassionate and seeing the best in people

Flirts by developing and acknowledging a special connection

Wants empathy, kindness, and sensitivity in relationships

[astr-logy]

Aquarius Venus is for people who try to protect their heart (and so they are distant lovers)

Aquarius sun is for people who try to protect their vitality (and so they are distant consolers)

Aquarius moon is for people who try to protect their spirit (and so they are distant interpersonally)

[astrolomermaid-blog]

one of my favorite things ever is finding out my students birth dates and birth years so i can calculate their birth charts! (too many births in one sentence lol)

i once mentioned this super charming and light-headed girl, who turned to be air dominant and venus dominant! she was a literally her chart SO BAD.

one of my fave students is a charming, talkative, head-strong girl who is, despite thecurrent childish expression of her chart, a wonderful girl with a wonderful future. she’s 11 years old and i looooove her so much. if she manages to bring the best out of her personality she’ll be such a great girl when she grows up

she’s a leo/virgo sun (idk her birth time). i would always laugh because she told me a long time ago that she’s a leo and it was really fitting. she likes being the center of attention, she’s self-centered but also likes helping others, and she’s quite dramatic and cocky. but noticing now that she might be a virgo sun, i’m wondering if those parts of herself are a representation of other parts of her chart, since a virgo sun also makes sense. she really likes helping others, she feels like it’s her job during the classes lol. she feels pleased when she can help and likes it when i thank her and compliment her for helping others.

on the other hand she’s an aries moon, which makes a lot of sense and as we all know children express a lot more their moon. she’acts self assures, she’s impulsive and light-hearted. she’s dramatic as heeeeell and she’s also quite silly. she’s also really expressive. She also has a leo mercury which TOTALLY  makes sense. once again, dramatic, bright, loud, expressive.

she has a libra venus which probably explains why shes so damn charming and pretty. she totally bought me from the first class, even tho she was such a disastrous child back then (she would get into fights with others students and step all over them bc of her strong personality and their shy weak ones)

she also has a taurus mars square by less than 2º her mercury. tbh i have never seen her angry, but the stubborn part makes a lot of sense, she’s So stubborn!! lol. Also a taurus mars sounds like a placement that isnt particularly active or motivated, and she’s quite lazy until she sets her head on something and she gets so annoying over wanting to do it.

[astrologanize]

my goodness ur chart is one loaded southern hemisphere 

[astrolomermaid-blog]

sun and mars conjuncting in taurus! no wonder why you have a hard time letting go of things but also once you’ve made up your mind abt something there’s no turning back. taurus is a slow sign but also a stubborn one. 

also all those 12th house placements! they might be the reason why you feel like you’re always in your head and watching life from a different persepctive

[astrologanize]

I love to sing, but so afraid to show people even though I know I can. I was always told I had a purpose because I was born 3 months early and only weighed 2 lbs. 3 oz. I love to help others. Genuinely. I am a T1D, and have been for 7 years as of today. :) I do not understand my family and wish they’d be more sensitive towards me, but nahhhh. I love to write and read, but mainly nonfiction. English was my favorite study, though I’d love to learn other languages. I don’t like being talked to in a negative fashion or being put down. I will literally cry. I live by my name, which is Hope. I am Love, Hope, and Faith. I can write with both hands. I love to make others feel good about themselves so they don’t ever have to feel as low as I did. Oh, and I suck at coloring but am excellent at drawing and painting! Lol.

i do imagine you treat being helpful as second nature!

[astrolomermaid-blog]

i swear im blind! but aren’t your mercury and chiron conjuncting in the 12th house in virgo?? im loving those placements!. as well as the libra moon and the libra AC!. i just feel it really shows you care about others, about making them feel good about themselves and the like. you’re also a virgo sun, and all virgo suns i know really pride themselves in caring about others, it’s really important for them to work to help others

[astrolomermaid-blog]

im sorry that sometimes the things that i write make no sense my wires cross too often and i mix up the things i want to say and when reading things i read everything in the wrong order lmao its a huge problem of mine and im very sorry because when i confuse myself i also confuse other people

[astrologanize]

that last part is showing ur 7th house and 12th house blindspots (-;

[astrolomermaid-blog]

i had never associated that to the fact that i have an intercepted 7th house :o

[astrologanize]

(tbh read me for filth bc i barely said anything bad abt myself 😅)

probs bc you have an intercepted libra sun lmao. i think you’d benefit doing anything where you can talk a lot haha or work around children (-:

[astrolomermaid-blog]

imagine there’s an emoji pointing up lol you have mercury and chiron in the 6th house + plus a gemini rising. so journalism makes so much sense! BUT you also have chiron in scorpio, as well as an aqua mc, which prolly makes you inclines to want to help people or make a change.

[astrologanize]

I thought I’d join in!

ur jupiter in 3rd shows with these notes haha

[astrolomermaid-blog]

that libra sun in the 7th house + being bugged by people not liking you lol! too fitting

[astrologanize]

you have the ability to be definite <3 a cap stellium entails a lot of waiting and climbing but you’ll get there. your venus conjunct mc is surely there <33 knew u were lovely the second i saw you 

[astrolomermaid-blog]

you really do look lovely!! love that dress! i think your pisces rising adds up in a positive way :-) piscis rising are often really cute looking in m yexperience

i like the sagittarius moon in the 9th (learning and exploring, it makes me think on all the languages you know, the fact that you know how to play two instruments, and that you wanna go to law school). you also have a first house mars in aries!! you probably are a really fire-y spirited person and really determinate. 

[astrologanize]

ok ok ok i don’t know what happened but that wasn’t my chart. this is. sorry! i must have forgotten to put the month and it was left on january

don’t be hard on urself *scorpio* lol

[astrolomermaid-blog]

i have a terrible eyesight so correct me if i’m wrong but you have a 2nd house mars right? i have that placement too and it makes me so damn possessive! i hate losing stuff and im ok with sharing but there are certain things im so SO possessive over it drives me crazy when people want to borrow them and stuff lmao....

you also have a first house sun and i’ve read it often makes people feel insecure about their own persona. it has been real for me (i have a 1st house sun as well) and you do seem insecure, especially with the saying sorry too much

[astrologanize]

our taurus friend just sent me the most taurus thing i’ve ever read

[astrologanize]

moon in the fourth house can indicate a sponge-like absorption of familial attitudes. there can be an overwhelming sense of pride in where you and your family came from, and thus their opinions, tradition, and views are adopted into your own life. this can also be true when leaving the nest, when you take on the traits of your new, cultivated family in adult life.

we have also noticed that the manifestation may vary; from our personal observations, it seems that men exemplify their moon in 4th by wanting to stay at home with their family, and have lasting bonds there for as long as possible. women, on the other hand, can have the tendency to want to build their own home, in terms of having their own family and becoming the nurturing figure herself, as opposed to wanting to continue being nurtured.