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@ataleoftwosirens-blog
1) He finds me attractive - yay me! 2) Are we still doing that thing where insults are supposed to make me want you? 3) My okc profile is anything but lacking in information. I give just enough away to entice and hold enough back to intrigue. 4) He ain't even good looking. Take a seat, motherfucker. Siren B ox
it’s in comic sans, so it’s cool
CAN WE TURN THIS INTO A DRINKING GAME???
sure!! but I forgot the “6 things I could never do without” category. that’d make for a bingo/drinking game just in itself.
Omg right- the iPhones, family and friends, water, air, laughter, blah blah blah.
I’m so happy I don’t fall into any of these categories!!! #blessed
This is so tragically funny.
Had to shut that shit down quickly. The fuck he think I am? eye fucking roll - Siren B ox
I've totes got a job interview tomorrow for a managerial position. I really hope I get it.
Siren B
ox
It’s that time again! It’s what time, you ask? Why, it’s time for my IRL friends to look at me in horror and exclaim, “R.C., you spent a ridiculous amount of your own money on sex paraphernalia and you’re not even keeping any of it?! You’re crazy!”
I am.
I am crazy.
CRAZY ABOUT SPREADING JOY LIKE SOME KIND OF SEX TOY SANTA, THAT IS.
It’s October, which means it’s Orgasm Awareness Month (idk I made that up last year and I’m sticking to it), which means…
Wait for it.
… It’s time for the second annual TMI Tuesday Sex Toy Giveaway!
Last year, I gave away about $150 in sex paraphernalia and this year I’ve upped the ante. I’m very excited about this year’s haul. Are you ready for this jelly? Okay, here we go.
1 Grand Prize winner will receive:
- 1 Le Reve Femme Vibe (R.C.’s personal favorite) - 1 Thunderbird Dual Action Vibrator - 1 Doc Johnson Sliders Anal Vibrator - 1 Pipedream Beginner’s Penetrix Strap-On with Dildo - 1 Mini-Miracle Wand (like the Hitachi wand, only smaller) - 1 Tenga Egg (penis masturbator) - 1 set of Ben Wa Balls - 1 bottle of spray anti-bacterial toy cleanser - 1 bottle of Vlube water-based, glycerin-free, ultra-sensitive lubricant - 1 25-pack of Crown Skinless Skin Condoms (voted #1 Best Condom by condomdepot.com 12 years in a row!) - 1 12-pack of Glyde Sheer dams in assorted flavors - 1 storage box - 1 4-pack of AA batteries - 1 4-pack of AAA batteries - 1 $25 Amazon.com gift card
2 Runners-up will receive:
- 1 Sexology Bullet (each)
RULES:
All you have to do is reblog this ONCE. You can like this post all you want, but likes will not be counted. Reblogging more than once will nothelp your chances—let’s keep this fair. No need to follow me, either (unless you want to!). This is pure charity. The best kind of charity. The orgasm charity.
YOU MUST BE 18 OR OLDER TO PARTICIPATE. I will not have angry parents suing me or coming after me in the night.
The contest will close on November 12th. Got that? Five weeks from today (Oct 8) I will choose a winner at random (by compiling everyone’s Tumblr handle, assigning each one a number, and using a random number generator) and send their care package of awesome just in time for the holidays!
I will ship anywhere. Europe, Asia, Gallifrey — wherever. This is not limited to US/North America.
Please share this with all your followers and friends! Get ‘em in on the fun.
RECAP:
- Over $250 of toys, lube, cleanser, condoms/dams, and an Amazon.com gift card for one lucky winner - 1 Sexology Bullet to two runners-up - Contest ends November 12th, 2013 - Must be 18+ (or the legal age in your country) - Only one reblog is counted - All winners will be chosen at random
That pretty much covers it. So, get to reblogging and signal boosting, and I’ll see you all in a month’s time with our winners.
GOOD LUCK!
(Any questions regarding this giveaway can be directed here. Please note: Not everything that is included in the grand prize is shown in the above image.)
I'm not sure whether he hasn't realised that we don't live near each other (not even on the same continent bruh)… Or he just doesn't care and actually expects me to board a flight to get 'hit'? Am I a dickhead? Or just unworthy of a relatively normal suitor? What the fuck is even a 'Murfreesboro'? - B ox
I can’t recall if I’ve made a post about this guy before, but he sent me the exact same message a year ago! I would love to know if it actually works for him because I can’t see how it would. Einstein’s quote about insanity comes to mind… I'm not entirely sure who that last statement refers to; Mr Hot Indian or myself. - B ox
Last weekend I got treated to a theatre show, a candle-lit dinner and two orgasms by a white boy. This weekend a black boy asked me out on a date to Pizza Hut. Sigh.
B ox (via ataleoftwosirens)
His other option was Nandos. I'm not sure if you guys have it over the pond but it's basically fancy KFC.
I believe his exact words were "that's my joint".
-B ox
Which ever way this was meant, English is clearly not his forte and I have consumed far too much lychee-flavoured Rosé to even entertain this. - B ox
But like, is it rude if I send a message to a match on okcupid to ask if the other guy (who is smoking hot) in one of his profile pictures is single? I need answers please.
B ox
Last weekend I got treated to a theatre show, a candle-lit dinner and two orgasms by a white boy. This weekend a black boy asked me out on a date to Pizza Hut. Sigh.
B ox
The picture says it all to be honest.
I’m also pretty sure he sent me an equally horrific massage with my last account.
Sigh
It’s me, siren B ox
Nigga say whaaat?...
The day after I decided to get another OkC account, I got a random text message from a number I didn't recognise.
The culprit turned out to be none other than 'The Painter' (please refresh your memories with this post and then this one).
The following ensued:
I swear to you guys, I don't know how this shit keeps happening to me.
He has since sent me other messages that have gone unanswered.
I. Still. Cannot.
It's me, Siren B
ox
Guess who...?
Yep, that's right folks- this Siren is back from her self-induced internet-dating-and-blogging-about-said-internet-dating exile.
And oh what an exile it has been.
In the nine months I've been away, I deleted my OkC and POF accounts, got a boyfriend who has now become an ex-boyfriend, opened another OkC account (but not POF because waaaaay too many females at my workplace have accounts on there and I'm not about that life), and now we're back full circle to the blogging.
I've been back on OkC for about 3 weeks now and at the risk of jinxing everything all the guys I've met so far seem normal??? Did something happen while I was away? I mean I still get the Minging* Steves, Rapey Toms and Still-in-the-closet Ians sending me messages but at the same time I've had several messages from Regular Joes that have turned into somewhat normal dates. But more about those later...
For now though,
It's me, Siren B
ox
*Minging/Minger is a British colloquialism that means somebody is u.g.l.y
For the first time ever, OKC has gotten my quiver match right. He is white as the day is long, but he could get IT and I ain't talking about information technology.
Siren A
x
I have finally been driven over the edge. Anything is possible.
Siren A
x
The only thing is that, in my short absence, I have managed to date 3 cousins from the same family and meet an awesome guy. Now to choose.
Siren A
x
