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Past Present

   I saw an old lover of mine. It’s the only way to describe him. He wasn’t a real boyfriend, more just a stop on life’s never ending trolly car.    When you’re at your hormonally highest with the scruples of a muskrat, things happen.   It’s good bar stools can’t talk, or we’d all be in court.   He was a little older, handsome and made me think I was the most fascinating girl in the world. Of…

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There But For the Grace of God

  I often help a homeless Man of Color who’s sweet, polite and has a chronic twitch. At first assumed it was a ploy for money, but the man of an uncertain age has no control over this demon that governs him.  He sleeps in the subway coming out during the day. I bring him clean T-shirts because his twitch causes him to spill everything.  He’ll let me buy him coffee and a roll and likes when I…

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Sunday In The Park With A Thin Girl

 Finally, a beautiful day; cool, breezy, smokeless after the Canadian wild fires left town.  The whole city seemed to be smiling.  It’s amazing how much weather effects you.  After a gentle morning and nice lunch, went to read in the Park not needing the sweater tossed over my shoulders.   I sat in a shady spot kicking off my flats, lucky to have a seat since all the benches were filled.  Three…

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How Do You Like Your Eggs?

   It was around 6 a.m., the light just beginning to break. I was coming from the Park headed home when I spot two young raccoons on East 87th Street.   They were surrounded by egg shells and what looked like fruit salad after opening multiple trash bags. They reminded me of teenagers out all night with the munchies, like they’d been smoking pot.   They didn’t even run when I appeared.   Just…

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Birthdays On The Backend

   There was a time my birthday was celebrated like a National Holiday. I expected banks to be closed. My mother with all her faults loved them. I can still taste the Angel Food Cake with sugary roses around it from Ann’s Bakery with string tied around the box it came in.    I remember being sung to before blowing out the candles. I was such a shy kid the whole ordeal embarrassed me. I wanted…

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Jack The Zipper

 As I’m walking up Park Avenue see a man of a certain age come towards me. I can tell right away by the way he’s dressed has money, old money.  He looked like a Brooks Brothers ad from two decades ago when they actually made clothes to last. His whole outfit was broken-in…well-worn khakis, light blue button-down, comfy cordovan slip-ons. But his blazer is what got my attention.   It was buttoned…

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Hugs Could Heal The World

 I made the mistake of passing my late friend Anthony’s store for the first time since he died.  Sadness swept over me.  In 12 Step you’re taught to just start the day over, so here I am sitting in church trying to do just that.  Suddenly a familiar face appears. It’s Julio, chief caretaker at Saint Ignatius Loyola. I can’t imagine a time he wasn’t here. He put down the box he carried to greet…

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Assets and Defects

 In any recovery program they urge you to work on yourself; to address your strengths and weaknesses.  Mental housecleaning…clearing out the cobwebs making space for the new revised you.  My most ongoing defect is taking everything too personally; crying over the drop of a hat assuming everyone’s bad behavior is about me. Had a shrink once tell me I had a grandiosity complex.  Unlike then, now…

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Coffee, Cookies and Boobs

  Panera  11: a.m.  Every time I vow to have less coffee, drink more. But after not sleeping well needed a lift, along with some inspiring atmosphere.  Panera has more of a working crowd despite the rising prices. You don’t see the well-heeled who all go to the Starbucks next door.  I’m told by a pretty Latina I have a birthday cookie coming after putting in my cell number. When you register this…

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What Got My Attention

 Dolphins sleep with their eyes open.  Never miss a good chance to shut up. James Patterson  A writer’s job is to make the ordinary come alive. Natalie Goldberg  In Judaism there’s an old tradition that when a young boy first begins to study, after reading his first word in the Torah, is given a taste of honey or a sweet, so he’ll always associate learning with sweetness. It doesn’t matter how…

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Pit Stop

 It’s Sunday, me being my best flâneur self at 4:15 a.m. breathing in the early sounds of morning.  Kids are still out clutching half-filled beer bottles while Whole Foods empties a tractor-trailer filled with fruit, plants and ficus trees.  Confetti from the 4th floats off the sidewalk.  I walk east passing Barnes & Noble, their window lit up like a good bakery with books instead of…

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Life On The Train

 It’s hot, but the packed car feels like a meat locker. No one can accuse the MTA of skimping on their AC.  All the seats are taken with only one White guy standing holding a reusable Trader Joe’s bag with sanitizer hooked to his belt. A nice woman makes room for him, but he declines like she’s a germ in a pink sundress.   I count 34 people, 28 on their phones. One middle-aged Man of Color in a…

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Leader Of The Pack

   This is about a Beagle who had a complex. He belongs to a well-heeled couple who got Al as a puppy after losing Benny, their prior Beagle.    I thought it was kind of rushed. It’s been my experience when you lose an animal to mourn their passing like any other loved one. But the Missus couldn’t wait. Benny was a hard act to follow and Al seemed to know. He walked with his little head down;…

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Restraint Of Pen And Tongue

   My title is an A.A. slogan I’ve tried hard to master. It’s the old pause rule before you blurt or hit send. Most of us don’t. I get emails that put chills down my spine. I want to answer, did you see what you wrote? It could have used a rewrite.    It reminds me of Lincoln’s angry letters found in his desk drawer he smartly never sent. If he had had access to email, would he have been as smart…

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On The Bench

I’m sitting in the little Park across from my house. All last year you weren’t able to due to scaffolding blocking the sun. I’m delighted you can now.   I have a book and a silo of popcorn hidden in my bag all set to have a nice read, while the warmth has its way with my bare shoulders.   Isn’t it great the sun’s free?   To quote Kurt Vonnegut…if this isn’t nice, what is?   I’m in the company of…

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From Books I've Read

Whenever one of Winston Churchill’s secretaries came back from walking his dog Rufus, he’d ask, “So, did the little dog do his duty?”  I thought that was pretty funny coming from a Prime Minister.  Though he’d never think of leaving Rufus behind, moving back and forth between his various houses, the cats all stayed put because as he put it…they had mouse-keeping chores to attend to. Working With…

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My Word!

The word hype keeps gracing my path: over-the-top, exaggerated publicity to lure and sell…wooing one’s wallet to get you on board; most of the time once you do becoming a major disappointment.  I’ll start with the array of New York Knicks T-shirts that were selling like crazy the day of the parade in their honor after winning their first championship in 53 years.  One man had a stand set-up…

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