currently writing: the prodigal daughter → spencer reid / dust and ashes → sokka
most recent: dust and ashes pt 16 → sokka
free palestine
I DON'T DO TAG LISTS, I DON'T TAKE REQUESTS, I DON'T WRITE SMUT, I DON'T UPDATE ON TIME. DO NOT FEED MY WRITING INTO AI UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. THANK YOU
THISSSSSSS!!!!!!! curate your own internet experience. block them because they’re allergic to peanut butter, block them because they have what you don’t, block them because they dislike your favorite food, block them because you don’t like their layout, block them because you can.
blocking is NOT a personal attack against someone. it’s you curating your own internet experience and catering for your comfort, and you have every right to do that.
you, yes, you!!! you CANNOT tell other people to censor themselves for your own comfort and personal likings. you CANNOT tell them what they can or can’t post. you CANNOT tell them what they can or can’t write. you CANNOT tell them what they can or can’t draw. BUT you CAN block them for whatever reason.
that block button is offered to you for free. use. it.
Do you have an avatar episode(s) that you’re the most excited to write/that’s your favourite ep in general? Mine are the boiling rock eps i love them sm!!
(pls drink water angel)
YES it’s the boiling rock for me too, it’s my favorite episode in the series and my favorite episode to write, it’s one of my favorite arcs in ehfar and I have so much planned for it in dust and ashes I just have to get there first 😭
hii i’m sorta new to your page but i’ve been keeping up with dust and ashes for a couple months and it is actually giving me life!! since the movie leaks i’ve been soo hyperfixated on ATLA and specifically sokka so it’s really scratching the itch.
and lowkey inspiring me to write?? but i haven’t written fan fiction for probably 12 years since the nickelodeon message boards (it was a self insert h2o fic 😌) and every time i go to write my ideas un-write themselves and i end up with a blank page. writing used to be such a good outlet for me but since my degree it feels impossible, especially creative writing. any tips for an out of practice gal yearning to write again?
and if you’re willing to share, do you have any ATLA specific prompts that are fun and get the cogs turning? i swear i know this show like the back of my hand but when i try to write something it feels so impossible.
sorry this ended up so long winded, and thank you for sharing your work!! much love from canada :)
hi welcome!!! so glad that you're enjoying dust and ashes, it's quickly becoming one of my favorite things to write ever lol
also so glad that it's inspiring you to write!!! i totally know the struggle, before i struck gold with d&a i was def in a dry spell where i had so many ideas but i just could not get them out into something coherent and it is so frustrating, especially when you write for work/school
i was in j school for the past 3 years and am now a real life journalist, and when i get home from work after writing all day, sometimes the last thing i want to do is write some more even if it's something i really enjoy. so honestly my biggest tip is to not pressure yourself. writing, especially as a hobby that you are not getting paid for, is for fun, so if you're not enjoying it, then there's no point in doing it imo. i never put pressure on myself to write fic when i dont want to, i have legit gone YEARS without updating a fic because i could not get anything out and the inspiration always comes back. i always write down my ideas when they come so i can come back to them (sooo many half-fledged google docs and notes) but yeah. ive been writing on tumblr/ao3 for like 6 years now and ive cultivated a very sweet community that understands that i will sometimes disappear for months but ill always come back lol (also i write a lot when i get high but not recommending that lmao it just works bc i doubt myself less under the influence)
unfortunately i dont really have any atla specific prompts because i dont really use them anymore, i just write like a maniac until my brain goes quiet lol!!! but something that always helps me get going is building on moments in canon so i have a frame to go off of - like maybe a conversation you wished happened or an additional scene in an episode, that's how i got my momentum in a lot of the azula gang scenes at the start of dust and ashes
never apologize, i love talking (obviously) and also get longwinded (obviously) and am always happy to share my experiences as a writer bc it is the thing i love most in the world but it also makes me want to bash my head against a wall most days
Hi girl! How are you? I hope you are drinking water everyday hahaha! I was reading ialwbty again and I was thinking about that au where hurricane wakes up at the camp and I was imagine, what if she and percy were together on a mission to find the Golden Fleece, and like they go to the princess Andromeda and find Luke, hurricane would try to convince him to come back to the camp and leave cronos behind, at frist he would deny it saying that he is too far to give up now, but I think he would like do act like a double agent, you know? Giving the camp informations and leading cronos to his end, acting like this to keep the camp and his hurricane save, his final strike would be the final battle in Manhattan, were all the demi gods would fight together to defeat cronos. Luke and hurricane live of course, After that our babies will get back together and luke would return to the camp, would take a time to they trust him again but in some time they would do it, they would live all together in New Rome, and a few years later they get married and would have their frist baby boy, Perseus, in honor of her little brother. Percy and Annabeth would be married as well and would have their first baby girl, and her name would be in honor of hurricane. Imagine they all living together like a big happy family 🥹🥹🥹🥹 Groover, Thalia, Nico and the others would visiting them every time, Sally and mama hurricane being the best grandmothers ever and even poseidon would have a soft spot for his grandkids. I like to imagine that hurricane would be angry at her father about of all that happened but their relationship would get better whit the years passing. I think her working as a teacher at the university or maybe a historian of ancient Greek, because you know hahaha. Percy would be the good father of her baby boy and hurricane would be the good mother of his, Annabeth and hurricane would be like sisters, and percy and luke would be like big bro and little bro. Imagine all of them going to the camp on a weekend for vacation, making funny jokes, arguing, and laughing together. Percy and hurricane being the best siblings ever, dancing around, making everyone laugh, the kids making funny noises when their parents kiss, agrhhhhh 🥹🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭 they would be the most loving and happy big family ever, I love them some much. And I miss something that we will never get the chance to see!
You writing is amazing as always and I love to see every little peace of these doomed siblings and lovers, xoxo!
hi im good and i hope you are too!!! i love writing the aus but i feel so bad because it's just a reminder of how sad the actual fic is literally wtf was i thinking 😭😭😭
and i think it would take a lot for everyone to forgive luke but it would be easier with hurricane on his side, 1 she is charismatic queen and 2 he's literally lost everyone he's ever loved because of the gods and that pushed him over the edge lol. but it does make me very happy to think of the life they could've had together with all their loved ones instead of dying young and ending up in elysium where they're separated from everyone else, percy and hurricane naming their first borns after each other is very cute
she would loveeee being a teacher because she loves kids (being a camp counselor was her calling honestly) i dont think she would spend the rest of her life in new rome but she would split her time between the coasts because she is a boston baby!!!! she's already died once so like? can't die again right you're immune (she says that to luke and he's like wtf no that's not true)
but yes thinking of a future where percy and hurricane get to be the best siblings ever and she gets her love story with luke and they all get to live the happy lives they deserve after being child soldiers for a decade makes me very happy. i do feel evil that it will never be, thank you so much for reading despite my evildoing <333
omg i woke up this morning w/ the new chapter and let me tell u it was the bestttt way to wake up 😭 i loved it sm!! (no surprise there)
i love how blind tr is (i say this with love 🤍) like everyone keeps telling her that sokka is into her and she doesn't see it 😭😭 but really their relationship is getting so delicious i love the little moments between them and i love how sokka is getting sort of bolder?? like he keeps telling her that he cares abt her/wants to spend time w/ her
i also have to say ur doing such a good job at her internal dialogue and guilt, it's truly so well written and i've been loving to see the "growth" she's been going through! i'm excited to see her (hopefully) forgiving herself/finding some sort of peace
and omg i was so so surprised to see her brother as well!! tbh when sokka was hit by an arrow i was so surprised i thought for a moment she was having a nightmare 😭 i legit thought the whole conversation they had was a dream (which broke my heart for a second, thinking she dreamt abt him telling her that he didn't blame her for suki anymore) but then the pieces of the puzzle started fitting in
and i was so so so scared that her brother was actually going to be a bad guy and wanted to hunt her down fr. i'm so glad that it didn't go in that direction!!
sorry for the big analysis but i genuinely get sooo excited for new chapters!! i've been stuck in exam/project season for so long that this is like a light at the end of the tunnel lmao i'm gen doing my work and then for a second i think about them and i start thinking again about how great this story isssss <333
anyway ur doing such a good job, this is one of the coolest stories i've read and ur nailing it every chapter 💛😇
im so glad!!! aside from work part of the reason i post my stuff at night is bc i like waking up to nice comments like this lollll
she really is blind!!! she has no idea what a normal crush looks like and she doesn't know what it feels like when someone likes you romantically and even if she did it's not even a possibility in her mind that sokka could actually like her like that lmao. but boy is he trying!!!
thank you so much!!! it's been really fun writing the slow slowwww change in her mindset and the incessant guilt ever since her eyes were opened to the truth of her nation and her family, im an angst addict in my heart but spoiler alert this fic will have a happy ending lol she will find peace<3
AHAHa that would be so evil of me wouldnt it? for one of their best heart to hearts so far to be a dream that ends with him getting shot 😭 but no they are just trouble magnets! and reader's brothers do not play about her they love her!!!!!
never apologize for long comments/asks like this it makes my day and i love love love talking about my series!!! i only really share my writing online so it's so lovely to talk with you guys about it, and im so happy that it's getting you through finals season!!! sending all the strength POST GRAD LIFE IS SO GOOOD
thank you so much for reading and such sweet words<3333 mwah
summary: still struggling with the aftermath of hama's actions, you do what you're best at and hide it. for some reason, sokka refuses to make it easy.
a/n: this is sooo much longer than it was supposed to be but i had to fit this all into one chapter to not throw off my outline lmao. i feel like im really hitting my stride in this series and i am still having the best time with all these characters<3 shit gets a little crazy again so i hope you all enjoy!!
wc: 9k
warning(s): injuries, discussions of canon genocide and murder, trauma, fighting, insecurity, the usual deal
Two days and an island have passed since Hama nearly forced Sokka to kill you, and you don’t think you’ve slept a wink since.
It doesn’t really bother you at first. You’ve dealt with nightmares all your life, and they’ve only gotten worse since your brother sacrificed himself to protect you—but this is an entirely new beast. Every time you close your eyes, you see Sokka’s horrified expression, a foreign emotion on his handsome face. It doesn’t help that, despite Katara’s healing, the raised scar cutting across your throat has decided to stick around.
A part of you thinks it’s your burden to bear. After all, it’s from a woman scarred so deeply by your nation, your grandfather, that it never healed. This is nothing in comparison, and much more righteous than the burns you earned for your weakness.
And maybe it is. But you still go into your new island’s town after you finish training to buy the first necklace you find. It makes that pit in your chest feel a bit less overwhelming.
Sokka brings it up first, casually asking if you’re going to keep buying gold jewelry until you blind everyone that looks at you. You don’t miss the flash of concern across his face when you brush him off. Since then, you’ve kept your distance, always busy training or meditating or anything that gives you an excuse to be alone. That doesn’t really stop Sokka from constantly shooting you worried looks that only make you feel worse.
Just because they’re all nice enough to forgive you doesn’t mean you deserve it. After all, Hama isn’t the only person your nation has hurt—not even the first one your family has hurt. Every single thing you’ve ever done has been for the sake of hurting people, mothers and fathers and friends and entire nations.
And for what?
Sokka and Katara’s mother didn’t deserve to die. The refugees seeking a better life in Ba Sing Se didn’t deserve a hostile takeover. What could possibly justify what Hama went through? What could possibly justify the death of an entire culture?
It doesn’t matter that the Air Nomads attacked first. Wiping out the air temples is inhumane. It’s monstrous.
But no animal has left you with scars, and you went along with it your entire life. You know you’re fully capable of the horrible things your family has done because you’ve already done a few. You didn’t join Azula, but you sure didn’t stop her from taking over a city full of refugees, or condemning a whole legion of warriors to death, or killing the Avatar.
You’ve been stumbling around blind your whole life, listening to whatever your superiors told you, but now you’ve been shocked awake. Every moment is painful and vivid and like needles against your skin, and you can’t ever go back to normal. You’re just awful enough to know you can never be like Sokka and his friends—no matter how much you want them to be your friends too.
You fall back against a tree with a sharp sigh, staring up at the sun in consternation. Everything’s too bright these days. Maybe you need to find a nice cave to die in.
Shade suddenly blocks out the rays shining down on you—Katara, standing in front of you with her arms crossed.
“Hey.”
“Is something wrong?” you ask.
“You tell me,” she says. “You’re the one that’s been sulking around all day.”
You frown. “I’m not sulking.”
“Then what do you call this?”
“Sitting around,” you say. “There’s not much else to do.”
“There’s plenty to do. You’re just avoiding us.”
“...No I’m not.”
“Well, you certainly look like it.” Katara tilts her head. “My dad used to say if I kept frowning, my face would get stuck that way.”
“I think my childhood disproves that,” you say.
“Zuko’s always frowning.”
“Zuko’s always upset,” you say, then you feel your brows knit together. “Do you need something, Katara?”
“Yes, actually,” she says. “We need firewood tonight, and you’re going to help me get it.”
“You know, I am a firebender.”
“I’m not letting you start a brush fire,” she says. “Get up. I’m not taking no for an answer.”
You bite your tongue and stand up. For some reason, you’re not in the mood to argue. You’re not in the mood for much of anything, actually, but doing chores is the least you can do after all the trouble you’ve caused.
Katara’s eyes stay on you as you begin walking together, tension thick as a knife until she eventually sighs.
“I don’t hate you, you know.”
“I wouldn’t still be alive if you did,” you say, then clear your throat. “Thanks for saving my life again, by the way.”
“There’s no point in being a healer if you don’t help people in need,” she says.
“I’m… a little surprised you did,” you admit. Katara frowns.
“Why?”
“After what you learned from Hama,” you say, already feeling your eyes start to water. “My family is directly responsible for the destruction of your tribe, and I— I’m so sorry. I promise, if I knew—”
“It’s not your fault,” Katara interrupts. “Yeah, your family sucks, and you kind of do too, sometimes. But you’re not your grandfather, you’re not your father—you’re only responsible for what you’ve done. And you haven’t done anything to hurt us since you joined us.”
You cast a sidelong glance at her. “Do you really think that?”
“I do.”
“Seriously.”
“What, do you want me to make friendship bracelets?”
“No,” you say. “Just…” you huff a laugh. “I can’t really believe it.”
“Neither can I,” Katara says. “But you’ve nearly died right alongside us, so that’s worth something.
Then her eyes drop to your throat, almost involuntarily. You hastily adjust your necklace to cover your burning scar, but it doesn’t do you much good. A beat passes before Katara speaks.
“I can get rid of it, you know.” That’s about the last thing you expect her to say as your eyes dart up to meet her intense stare. It softens just so. “It would just take some focused healing sessions.”
The first time you try to speak, your mouth is too dry to function. You try again and your voice comes out a little raspy.
“It’s okay. I deserve it.”
Katara huffs a hollow laugh. “You didn’t deserve an old woman using my brother to slice open your neck.”
She was right, you think. It’s all you’ve really been able to think about, that killing you is a greater mercy than fumbling your way through traitordom. But you don’t say that. You don’t say much of anything, just crouch down to collect a few sticks. Katara sighs, and when you stand up she’s right beside you.
“You don’t have to punish yourself for the things other people have done,” she says. “It doesn’t matter that they’re family. You didn’t make them do it.”
“But I would’ve done the exact same things that they did,” you say. “I got lucky.”
“You didn’t get lucky,” Katara retorts. “Ending up here doesn’t matter half as much as choosing to stay.”
You smile, more weary than anything. Katara smiles back—but you can’t help it.
“What inspired this?” you question. “I know we’ve been talking more, but… I still figured you didn’t really like me.”
“...Sokka,” she says. “We all see how he looks at you, but lately it’s been killing me. He just looks so damn worried all the time.”
“I’m sure,” you say. “He’s got a lot on his shoulders. You both do.”
“He’s worried about you,” Katara corrects. You think your heart actually stops. “I mean, he’s beating himself up enough for not being strong enough to resist Hama, but now he’s more concerned about your wellbeing than his own.”
“He doesn’t need to worry about me,” you say. “I’m fine.”
“You and I both know that’s not true,” she says. Your eyes flick downwards, and for another minute or so you gather sticks and logs in silence. Eventually, though—
“Can I ask you something?”
“You can do whatever you want,” you say.
Katara rolls her eyes, but when they meet yours, her expression is surprisingly earnest. “Do you like my brother?”
“Of course,” you say as you tuck a bundle of sticks beneath your arm. “He’s really nice to me, and I admire his intelligence.”
“That’s not what I mean,” Katara says. “Do you like him the way that he likes you?”
You huff an uncomfortable laugh. “We’re just friends, Katara. I don’t really understand what you’re getting at.”
“Fine.” She folds her arms over her chest “Does he know that you’re engaged to Zuko?”
You nearly fall flat on your face, because that is actually the last thing you expected her to say. You’ve imagined it a few hundred times, and she’s much angrier in your mind—now, she just watches you expectantly, unmoved by your wide eyes.
“You found the poster.”
“It fell out of your bag when we were rushing to get out of the inn,” she says. “Does he know?”
“I… thought you would be more upset,” you say. “Like, a lot more upset. Yelling, screaming, kicking me out of the group—”
“I just want to know if you’re lying to my brother or not.” Katara says your name with a sigh. “You’re a lot of things, but you’re not stupid. You know that he l—”
“He knows,” you interrupt, and her eyes narrow slightly. “We found it together, when we found Toph’s. He agreed to give me a week to tell you all.”
She looks at you for a weighted moment. “Today marks a week. Were you going to?”
“I don’t really know,” you say hesitantly. “I’ve been kinda out of it.”
“...I think we all have,” Katara murmurs. “I can’t stop thinking about the way it felt.”
“Me too,” you say quietly. “I thought my bones were going to snap in two from fighting so hard, but it did nothing. I was powerless.”
“Hama hurt innocent people, but…” she sighs and shakes her head. “But she had already been through so much. And decades of bloodbending would twist anyone.”
Your entire expression softens at the same time that a sharp column of guilt shoots through you. It’s your fault she had to do it. It’s your fault Katara is forever changed, because she’s too good to let you die. “I’m so sorry.”
“Sokka wouldn’t have been able to live with himself.” She manages an overly casual shrug. “And I guess it’s nice having another girl in the group.”
You smile. Katara is the only waterbender you’ve ever met, but you think she might be one of the best in the world. Aang even told you once they only spent a month there training with a master, which means she’s almost entirely self-taught. You were powerful on your own, but it took you months of private lessons to learn the refined grace that Katara so easily moves with.
You’ve been thinking for a while that she’s the coolest girl you’ve ever met, Agni help you, maybe even more than Azula—and she actually likes having you around?
You snap out of it when she says your name, head tilted forward slightly so she can look you right in the eye.
“I know you feel guilty about your family,” she says. “Your grandfather was one of Hama’s guards, your father is a ruthless general, your ancestors helped destroy the world, you’re best friends with an evil princess and engaged to an evil prince—”
“How long are you going to keep going?” you ask, only slightly miserably.
“Sorry,” she says, more than slightly sheepish. “What I’m trying to say is that you feel guilty because your family has done awful things. And you’ve done some too, but you are the only one to switch sides to help the Avatar save the world. And I think that means something.”
“I just don’t feel like I have the right to be here,” you say. “My existence has hurt all of you. If I was never born—”
“The world is not going to magically become a better place without you,” Katara interrupts. “You are not the root of the Fire Nation’s evil. You were born into it, you helped it, but you were a victim of it. Now you’re here helping us end it, so it’s a damn good thing you were born.”
You’re stunned into silence. Katara speaks with the determination of someone who has had to fight for every single thing she has. It’s like looking in a mirror where the reflection is a whole lot better than you. Her lips quirk at the corners.
“From now on, your future is what matters. Not your past. Got it?”
You nod. “Got it.”
“Good. Now grab that log and let’s get out of here.”
-
“Spirits, I thought you guys got lost!” Sokka exclaims.
“He’s so dramatic,” Toph complains. “He’s been complaining about how hungry he is since you left.”
“Because I’m starving!” His eyes meet yours when you follow Katara to the center of camp, but you have to avert them as you set down your bundle of firewood. The concern in his expression every time he looks at you lately makes you feel so weak, and you hate it.
You got along just fine back at your father’s camp without anyone worrying about you. You’re already away from everything you’ve ever known, desperately trying to keep the shattering pieces of yourself together—you don’t need anyone acknowledging it. For some reason, it feels a thousand times worse coming from Sokka.
“Stop whining,” Katara says as she drops her own pile of sticks and logs. “Where’s Aang?”
“Meditating,” Toph says. “He’s totally freaking out about next week.”
“I don’t blame him,” she murmurs. “I’m scared too.”
“Does this mean we’re finally gonna talk about the camelephant in the room?” Sokka questions, and his eyes cut over to you once again before he looks at his sister. “We need to tell her.”
“No, we don’t.” Katara crosses her arms. “At least, not until the day of.”
“That’s stupid!” he exclaims. “If she’s with us, she’s with us. She needs to have time to prepare.”
“She’ll have time to prepare with everyone else,” she says.
“She is standing right here,” you say. “What are you guys talking about?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Katara says.
“It does matter,” Sokka retorts. “If we leave tomorrow, we’ll get to the rendezvous point with four days to spare. We need that time to prepare, and she needs to be with us.”
“I agree! She’s going to be part of it, but we’re going to the capital.” Katara’s eyes soften when she looks at you, but she holds fast. “Everyone will recognize you there, not to mention you have a bounty on your head. If you get caught—”
“She won’t,” Sokka insists.
“We don’t know that!” she exclaims. “I agree with you, she’s with us, but this isn’t something we can risk. It’s our once chance.”
“Please tell me you’re not fighting again.”
You look over to see Aang coming up the hill, brows creased in concern. You’ve noticed his eyes always go to Katara first.
“We’re not,” you say before anyone else gets the chance, then you meet Katara’s level gaze. “If you need to keep me in the dark to trust me, then do it.”
Sokka says your name in protest, but you shake your head. “It’s fine, Sokka. This is my chance to prove myself to you all.”
The concern doesn’t leave his eyes, but Katara gives you a thankful nod that you return. They’re already giving you a chance you don’t deserve by letting you stay with them—you have no right to ask for anything more.
You don’t bring up the pit in your chest, though, the one that grows larger every time you think about home. Kezu gave his life to help you escape, and now you’re going right back to face what you started.
You aren’t sure if you’re strong enough to do it. But you’re long past the point of no return.
-
Dinner goes smoother than you expect, mostly because you don’t say a single word. You don’t really want to admit that you’re still this shaken from Hama, especially when everyone else seems to have gotten over the sleepless nights by now. Aang keeps everyone occupied with a story from when he visited the Fire Nation as a child with his friend Kuzon until Toph very loudly proclaims that she’s bored and is turning in for the night.
“I was wondering if we could talk,” Sokka says. “I’ve been—”
“I was actually going to go train,” you interrupt, and you see his body tense a bit. “I didn’t get to do it this morning, and I have to make up for it.”
“...Oh,” he says. A beat passes. “I thought you were weaker at night.”
“That’s why I’ve been trying to do it more,” you say. “Whatever we’re doing in the capital, I need to be prepared for it. I need to be strong enough for it.”
“You’re already pretty strong,” Sokka says.
“Well, I need to be stronger.” You smile, but you know it’s not convincing. “We can talk in the morning, after we’ve both gotten some sleep.”
“You’re not really getting much sleep.”
“And how do you know that?”
“Because I’m not either,” he says plainly. Your eyes soften as he glances away. “I can’t even hold my sword anymore.”
“Sokka,” you say gently, “it’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.” He looks back at you with surprising conviction. “If Katara didn’t stop me, I would’ve killed you.”
“That’s not true,” you insist. “She never would’ve let it get to that point. You wouldn’t have either.”
Sokka scoffs. His eyes flick down to the golden band around your neck almost involuntary, and he turns away with a pained expression.
“Clearly not.”
“Sokka—”
“You don’t have to explain yourself,” he says, then he lets out a sigh before he’s able to look back at you. “Just— just don’t shut me out. You’re part of the group now. You’re with us. You don’t have to hold it all in all the time.”
You stare at Sokka for a few moments, a part of you convinced he’s lying—but as you’re starting to learn, he doesn’t lie to you. It’s a fault, honestly, believing you can be as good as he is, but it makes you feel all fuzzy inside. Different from the fire in your lifeblood, the comfort of a hearth instead of a wildfire’s carelessly destructive blaze. Even though you don’t understand it, you welcome it.
“...Okay,” you finally say. “I’ll try.”
“That’s all I ask,” Sokka says. “And that you don’t train too hard.”
“I’ve made enough promises,” you say wryly. “I’ll see you in the morning, Sokka.” You pause. “Thank you for caring.”
“...That’s what friends are for,” he says. You share a small smile before you set off towards the woods. You turn around when you reach the first tree and see Sokka’s watching you—but he immediately averts his eyes with a cough and hurries back to camp.
It starts in your chest, a warmth that spreads from your calloused fingertips to your toes in well-worn sandals as a cool breeze flows through your hair and skirt. You think you might glow beneath the moonlight.
-
It feels strange training at night, throwing punches and kicks practically blind as you wait for your eyes to adjust. But at least there’s one place where your brain still falls silent, day or night, no matter where you are.
When Kezu went off to sea and Lee left for the Yuyans, your father was all too happy to ship you off to the palace at Fire Lord Azulon’s suggestion. Then you suppose he tired of you having friends a few years later and ordered you by dragon hawk to his army base, where you got pretty used to being your only company, with Azula a constant guiding voice in your head.
You trained incredibly hard for your father’s approval, of course, but training was all you had. Your father never smiled at you, your brothers were gone, you’d been separated from all your friends and they didn’t care enough to write. (The first time you spar a soldier and win, you cry. You haven’t felt alive since you left Azula.)
Fighting used to be the most exhilarating part of your life. Mai, Zuko, Ty Lee, Azula—you fight with them like a well-oiled machine because you sparred constantly. In the palace gardens, the palace halls, across the black beaches of Ember Island and the academy’s grassy courtyard.
On your worst days, you challenged the first jerk to push your buttons to an Agni Kai, but you still kinda pride yourself on your perfect record. It got your classmates to stop messing with you pretty quickly when any boy that got into an argument with you would show up to school the next day in slings or balancing on crutches.
Your father blunted your edges for the sake of his own agenda, and Azula carved you into something sharper for hers. You needed to find an in-between if you were going to make this last.
Your flames are weaker than usual, which you blame on the moon, then immediately feel bad for when you remember she’s Sokka’s… ex? Former flame? It’s less important than Princess Yue’s sacrifice, anyway. She gave her life to save the moon spirit, the greatest act of selflessness you’ve ever heard of. You could never be that good, even if you spent your whole life repenting
Then the hair on the back of your neck stands up. You whirl around right as you hear a tree branch break, flames ready at your palms before you’re even fully turned—and when you are, you see Sokka bathed in orange light, hands up in a show of mock surrender.
“It’s okay,” he says. “It’s just me.”
“Spirits, Sokka!” you shout, exhaling massively as you shake your hands dry. “How many times have I told you not to sneak up on me?”
“I’m sorry!” he exclaims. “I— I just really wanted to ask you something.”
“And you couldn’t wait until morning?”
“Why would I? You’re still awake.”
You stare at him, concerned that he might actually be a little crazy, and Sokka chuckles, lowering his hands a bit as moves closer. “I guess I wanted to spend time with you too. It’s been a while since we’ve gotten to talk like this.”
“It’s been like, three days.” You frown. “You talked to me this morning.”
“When I was defending your honor,” he says. “Which you didn’t like, I guess, seeing as you sided with Katara.”
“I wasn’t siding with her, I acknowledged the truth,” you say. “And I don’t need you to defend my honor, Sokka. I can do it just fine on my own.”
“I get that!” Sokka insists. “I do! I just want you to really know you’re not alone in this. When I said you’re with us, I meant it. You’ve been a part of my plan since the day you washed up on the beach. We… just can’t tell you about it yet.”
“I know,” you say. “And I’m incredibly grateful to be included before I’ve proven myself. I’ll make you all proud.”
“You’ve proven yourself a thousand times over,” he says. “Just be yourself, and you’ll kick ass.”
You actually find a smile pulling at your lips, soft at first then insistent as a laugh tumbles out. “I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
Sokka grins, and the hearth erupts like a volcano inside you when he takes his topknot out. His hair has gotten so long that he has to brush it out of his eyes now, and it makes you feel a little short of breath.
“I guess that means I can ask my question then?”
“I think you’ve earned it.”
He rocks back and forth on his feet for a moment before he blurts out, “Could I watch you train?”
You laugh at first, thinking it’s a joke. But Sokka is wholly genuine, eyes almost gleaming, and that’s wholly perplexing. “Seriously?”
Sokka’s head bobs up and down rapidly. “Yeah! My dad and his friend Bato taught me how to fight when I was young, but Suki showed me how a real warrior fights. She’s incredible. But you fight totally differently than her, and I want to learn as much as I can. I mean, you were trained at the palace, right?”
You grimace involuntarily at her name. You’ve had many sleepless nights since the fight in some random Earth Kingdom forest—since you sentenced an entire league of Kyoshi Warriors to a fate in a Fire Nation jail or worse.
“I don’t blame you for it anymore,” Sokka says, and you blink.
“What?”
“Suki and her warriors.” You avert your gaze, cheeks burning. You swear you’re not usually this obvious. “It’s a fact that you’re going to save her with me, so I’ve already forgiven you for it. In my mind, Suki was saved the second you washed up on that beach.”
“You already said that one.” It comes out as more of a rasp. You don’t understand how he has this much confidence in you.
“Because it’s true.” You turn as he moves closer, but he just crouches by the stream and trails a few fingers in the water. “Why do you train near water?”
“To prevent forest fires,” you say. “Or burning my clothes off. These aren’t fireproof,” you pull at the singed hem of your top, “clearly.”
He chuckles, then gestures at the lake with his head as he sits down. “Join me.”
You tilt your head. “I thought you wanted to watch me train.”
“It’s mostly the spending time with you part,” he says. “C’mon. You can take a break with me, then get right back into it.”
You sigh. “Sokka—”
The wind whistles, faint on the breeze, and then Sokka lurches forward with a shout. Your eyes widen when you see an arrow sticking out of his side. Your head snaps to the treeline and you throw yourself out of the way just in time to avoid chain bolas spinning rapidly through the air.
“What the fuck?” Sokka groans as he presses his hand against the wound, fingers splayed around the arrow.
You’re under attack. It blares in your head so loud your teeth chatter as you sprint over to Sokka and haul him up. You stumble when all his weight falls on you for the first few seconds as he catches his footing, but you make it into the woods just as you hear rumbling footsteps break through to the clearing. Someone, something is after you, and you’re not going to stick around to find out what it is.
“What the fuck?” Sokka repeats, exclaiming your name as you half-drag him through the forest. “Why is there an arrow in me?”
“We’re close to a harbor town,” you say. “I saw it when we flew in. Maybe it's the military—"
“You don’t have to remind me,” he complains, and then he stumbles and nearly sends you both to the ground. The extra seconds it takes getting him back on his feet has your eyes anxiously darting back and forth into the treacherous brush—then a loud voice echoes off the trees.
“You can’t run forever!”
Sokka gives you a desperate look, and you just grab him and keep running. More arrows shoot past you, and you manage to block one with a wrist cuff and incinerate the rest. You shoot a few massive fireballs behind you to topple trees in your path, but it’s reduced to splinters when an explosive goes off and rocks the ground beneath you.
“Come on, Sokka, keep running!”
“I’m sorry! There’s an arrow in me!”
“We’ll deal with that when we’re not being chased by bounty hunters!”
“Oh, so that’s what this is?”
“Shut up!” you groan.
Sokka’s strength is steadily waning as he relies on you for more and more support. You hide it best you can, but you’re getting winded running for your life and dragging him along.
But maybe the spirits are listening, because you run past a cave face so concealed you nearly miss it. You elbow your way through the bushes just in time to hear your pursuers catch you—or where you were, at least. You watch through the gaps in the greenery, just a rock’s throw from whatever deadly group of mercenaries has decided to capture the bounty on your head.
“Why does someone always get hurt when you’re around?” Sokka complains through gritted teeth. He’s pressed against the cave wall, staring at the arrow in his side with contempt.
“Be quiet,” you hiss. He rolls his eyes but listens, and you watch as two men on komodo rhinos break through into the clearing—a man wielding those chain bolas, and a man with a dark red tattoo curving across his amberwood skin. A Yuyan archer on a komodo rhino is strange.
Another three men join the group and your knees feel weak as it dawns on you. One is wearing full armor, another has a spike-studded shoulder plate, but you see a face that you recognize in military scrolls. Colonel Mongke, leader of the Rough Rhinos that worked his way up in the army just so he could moonlight as a mercenary.
“Another failed lead,” he spits. “Where did you find this tracker, Vachir?”
The Yuyan doesn’t give him the satisfaction of a reaction. “She was here. I know it, and so do you.”
“She couldn’t have gone far,” the shoulder-plated one says, jabbing his elbow into the armored man. “We could light this place up in a second, eh?”
“That would do more harm than good.”
“Where’s your buddy, then?” The man’s voice is muffled by his helmet, but he towers over the archer. “He’s the one that led us into these woods. You said he was the best tracker in the four nations.”
“I didn’t say that,” Vachir retorts stiffly. “He is a Yuyan. A Yuyan has standards.”
“Clearly not.”
“I do.”
Another man shoulders through the trees, stowing his bow on his back as he stops in the clearing. “You just don’t trust me.”
You can barely see his face from here—your legs still buckle beneath you at the sound of his voice. Sokka tries to lunge for you again, but he barely saves himself from toppling over. The color is steadily draining from his face. He whisper-yells your name.
“What’s wrong?”
You don’t really hear Sokka, either. Too focused on the braided strands pulled into his topknot that you used to do for him, more visible without his usual headband—unable to look away from the scar cutting across chin that he earned from tripping and knocking his teeth out on a rock when you were kids.
“He’s still a rookie,” Shoulder Plate growls. “We should’ve never taken him on a job this big.”
“I am the best tracker in the four nations,” he says. “You’re all just too impatient.”
Sokka shakes you out of your trance, wide blue eyes pleading with you against his graying skin. Nausea rises in your throat as you place your hands on his wound. His tunic is already damp with blood.
“I’m so sorry,” you breathe. “I need to get you out of here. I need to get you back to Katara—”
“You need to make this make sense,” he interrupts. “Who are those people? Why are they chasing us? Are you okay?”
“Now is not the time—”
“Yes, it is! What is going on?”
Your head is spinning from the sight, and Sokka’s numerous questions don’t help. You screw your eyes shut as you suck in deep breaths, focusing on his hand against your bare shoulder. Eventually, you’re able to speak.
“They’re mercenaries.” Your voice still comes out a bit shaky. “A specialized team in the Army, technically, but they’re still mercenaries. They’re here to collect my bounty."
“Oh.” Sokka’s voice is considerably smaller. “They’re that scary, huh?”
“It’s not them,” you say quietly. “Their tracker…”
“Colonel—”
“I don’t want to hear it,” Mongke snaps. “You’re searching these woods until the sun rises. If you’re as good a tracker as you claim, you should have no problem.”
“He’s gonna come back sobbing and empty-handed,” the bearded man sneers.
“If he is empty-handed, he should not bother coming back,” the colonel corrects. The man isn’t phased.
“That won’t be a problem.”
“Then I’m sure you won’t mind if we make camp here.”
“Not at all.”
You clench your jaw so hard you think your teeth might crack. No. They can’t stay here— they can’t camp here. You stand no chance of getting Sokka out if they stay this close, especially if he makes any sort of noise from the pain.
The men start grabbing their supplies off the backs of the komodo rhinos, and you resist the urge to hit your head against the cave wall. You won’t let Sokka die here, but this just got a whole lot harder.
You glance back out into the night, and you swear you lock eyes with the tracker. You could never forget them—ochre irises almost made more vivid against the maroon ink, eyebrows thinner than they should be courtesy of two firebending siblings.
Then he starts walking towards your cave, and you don’t dare to breathe.
“Lee, make yourself useful,” the colonel demands. “If you lose the trail—”
“I won’t,” he says roughly. “I heard something.”
Every footstep towards the cave makes your heart pound, so loud you swear he can hear it. He reaches the opening and pulls the bushes away—and his hands freeze when he sees you and Sokka.
You haven’t seen your brother since he got his tattoos, and it shows. His strong features have matured and his hair is longer and there’s a determination in his eyes that runs in the family—but it doesn’t matter. He’s still the boy that helped raise you.
Even if he’s helping a group of mercenaries hunt you down.
Lee looks at you like he’s seen a ghost, barely paying a second glance to Sokka. One call back to his crew and it’s over for both of you.
“You’re alive.” His voice is so quiet you have to strain to hear it. “I knew it. I knew Father was lying.”
“Lee—”
“Is there someone there or not?” the colonel shouts, and his body tenses. Lee’s eyes flit away for a moment before they meet yours again, and for a terrible second you’re worried he’s going to turn you in.
“Please,” you whisper, the only word your lips can form. Your brother’s expression turns so pained you can barely stand to look at it.
And then he lets the bushes fall back into place, dropping you and Sokka into darkness again, and you hear his footsteps get farther and farther away.
“False alarm,” Lee says. “Just a bunch of squirrel toads.”
“You really are the best tracker in the world,” one of them says wryly. You don’t hear the rest of the conversation as you finally start breathing again. You collapse against the wall, hands shaking so hard you have to press them against your legs.
“Who was that?” Sokka questions. “Why did he let us go?”
“My brother,” you say faintly. “And I have no idea why.”
He sighs and looks back down at the arrow still embedded in his side. “Every day with you is an adventure.”
-
“I can’t believe your brother shot me.”
“Sokka—”
“I know, I know. I have to be quiet. But I doubt they can hear us anyways.”
“Do you really want to test that?” you challenge. “Besides, I already told you it might not have been him. There’s another Yuyan—”
“Well, one of them shot me, and it still really hurts!”
“You’re lucky it didn’t go right through your skull!”
“You're real great at pep talks.”
You’ve been stuck in this cave with Sokka for what feels like hours, waiting for the mercenaries to fall asleep before you make any sort of move. It’s the most grating sort of anticipation, especially when you’re the only one who can care for his wound.
“I’m not trying to make you feel better, I’m trying to make sure you don’t die.” You’ve torn off half of your skirt creating makeshift bandages to wrap around the arrow, but you’re not much of a healer. You are smart enough to not pull it out, at least. “Most of them are asleep by now. I’ll go back to camp and find Katara—”
“No,” Sokka interrupts. “You’re not going out there alone.”
“You’ve got an arrow in your side, Sokka. You’ll only get more hurt. I can handle myself.” Your eyes flit out to the mercenaries’ camp, where you can see a blazing fire at the center. “As long as you keep your mouth shut and stay out of sight, you’ll be fine.”
“You’re willing to risk that?”
“I’d do a lot worse to save your life,” you say. “But you have to stay here. You don’t stand a chance against any of them.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“You know what I mean,” you say. “Besides, my brother’s out there. He won’t hurt me.”
“I don’t know,” Sokka says. “He is with the mercenary group that’s hunting us.”
“They’re hunting me. If you just went to bed like you should have, you wouldn’t be here.”
He groans. “Can we not fight? We’re already in a shitty situation—”
“We’re not fighting, I’m just right.” You stand up as Sokka rolls his eyes. “Do you feel okay?”
“...I’ll be fine,” he says. “Just don’t do anything stupid. I don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t.”
You smile, but Sokka just looks at you with deep-seeded concern. You slip out into the night before you can doubt yourself.
It’s easy to sneak away from the Rough Rhinos’ camp when they’re asleep, especially since you’ve grown light on your feet after years around the palace and your father. The hard part is navigating through the woods.
Everything looks exactly the same under the cover of darkness, just trees and grass and rocks that you can’t tell apart to save your life—which you guess is kinda the situation. But as you run, the wind blowing through your hair and much shorter skirt, you can only think back to your brother.
The pride of Lee’s entire life is being a Yuyan. It’s all he’s ever worked for, all he’s ever wanted, which is why you don’t understand what he's doing with a bunch of mercenaries.
Does that mean he deserted too? Or did your father put him on your tail, determined to have one child that still respects him? But he seemed so shocked to see you—shocked that you were alive at all. Does your father actually think that you died at sea? If he did, then he’s not the one that put up the wanted posters. But that makes even less sense. Who else has the motivation?
Azula, maybe, but she wouldn’t stop at wanted posters. You think you would already be dead if she was on your trail.
You’re jarred out of your thoughts when someone grabs your arm and hauls you behind a tree. You scream but it’s muffled when a hand is slammed over your mouth—you nearly bite a finger off before you realize it’s your brother, and he drops his hand.
“What are you doing out here?” Lee whisper-yells.
“Going to save my friend.” You tug your arm out of his grip. “What are you doing here?”
“Trying to keep you from getting yourself killed.”
“I mean with these mercenaries? The ones that you’re helping hunt me?”
“No,” he insists. “I— I mean, yes, technically, but it was the only way I could get out of Pohuai!”
“So you left the Yuyans?”
“No!” Lee groans and looks around, making sure you’re alone, before he gestures with his head. “Come on. I’ll get you out of the woods.”
“I’m not just getting out of the woods, I’m going back to our camp so I can get my healer friend.” You frown. “Did you shoot Sokka?”
“I wouldn’t have if I knew he was your friend.”
“Spirits, Lee! How could you?”
“I just said I didn’t know he was your friend!” he defends. “Besides, he’ll be fine. I don’t shoot to kill out here.”
“That’s so reassuring,” you grumble, but you start walking together anyway. Silence quickly descends over you as Lee leads you through the woods like he’s lived here all his life. You’re still processing the fact that your brother is here.
“So,” you finally say, because you might as well ask, “why are you here?”
“Since Ba Sing Se fell, things have been… rough.” Lee looks up at the sky, starlight reflecting off his amber eyes. “Every general, admiral, colonel— every leader was given orders to go full steam ahead. The Fire Nation is so close to winning the war that the Fire Lord is treating it like a guarantee. Shinu’s been sending groups of Yuyans out on secret missions practically every day. Last week, he finally chose me for one.” His stony gaze meets yours. “Imagine how I feel when I get a messenger hawk from Father the day before we leave telling me that both my siblings are dead.”
Your face burns as your gaze drops to the ground, unable to look your brother in the eye. It’s not right that you’re here and Kezu isn’t.
“But on the first day of the mission, I saw a wanted poster with your face on it.” He shakes his head, lips twisting downward. “I didn’t know if Father was lying, or if he just wanted extra insurance, but I broke off to find you on my own. The Rhinos found me on your trail, and I bartered my tracking skills for my life. I never thought I would find you while I was with them— it was just a means to an end.”
“…Wow,” you murmur. “I didn’t think you would ever leave Pohuai.”
He shrugs, overly casual. “I already lost one sibling. I refuse to lose another.”
Red hot guilt claws at you. “I’m so sorry, Lee. If I knew that’s how it would’ve ended, I never would’ve tried to leave in the first place, I swear.”
“...So it’s true,” he says faintly. “You were both leaving the Fire Nation.”
You nod, ashamed. “He gave his life for mine. I’m going to spend the rest of my days trying to be worthy of it.”
Lee falls silent for a while, and you still can’t bring yourself to look at him. First his mother, then his brother. You keep taking the people he loves away from him. Finally, though, he speaks.
“I’m glad I found you.” It’s more of a rasp than anything. “I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like going through all this on your own.”
You frown. “You’re not mad?”
“At Father. Not at you.” He shakes his head with a sigh. “When did everything get so fucked up?”
“I don’t know,” you murmur. “But I’m glad you found me too.”
You finally muster the courage to look at your brother, only to find he’s already smiling at you. Lee wraps his arm around you and pulls you close, and you rest your head on his shoulder with a sigh.
“I’ve missed you so much,” he says softly. “I’m so glad you’re not dead.”
You huff a laugh, unable to bring yourself to say the same words about yourself. Lee graciously doesn’t mention it.
Eventually, you break out of the woods, and you see a bonfire in the distance. Your shoulders sag with relief.
“That’s our camp.”
“Good.” Lee turns to you with a slight furrow in his brows. “What are you doing here, anyways? Who are you with?”
“I’ve… kind of joined the Avatar?”
His eyebrows immediately shoot up. “Are you joking?”
“It’s a long story,” you say. “One for another time. I need to get our healer.”
Lee nods, and you break into a sprint. You burst into Katara’s tent and she immediately shoots up, water at her hands before she’s even fully conscious.
“It’s just me!” you whisper.
“What’s wrong?”
You’re a bit insulted that she initially jumps to a problem, but she is right.
“It’s Sokka,” you say. “We were in the woods and Fire Nation bounty hunters found us and he got shot by an arrow—”
“What?”
“Just come with me!” you plead.
“Let me get Aang and Toph—”
“No,” you interrupt. “No one can know the Avatar is alive, and Toph has a bounty too. It has to be you.”
Katara stares at you for a heated moment before she nods, expression hardening, and she follows you out. You see her tying her hair up as you lead her to the woods, but she stops in her tracks when she sees your brother.
“Who are you?”
“Our way back,” you say. “These woods are dense, and he’s an incredible tracker.”
Her eyes narrow. “He looks like one of those bounty hunters you’re talking about."
“I’m your friend’s brother, actually,” he says, and Katara looks at you like you’re crazy.
“That’s why I didn’t want to tell her right away,” you grumble. “Now come on! Sokka could be bleeding out in that cave.”
“Why do I ever leave the two of you alone?” Katara marvels. She follows you into the wooded abyss anyways.
You’re huffing and puffing from sprinting everywhere by the time you reach the clearing from before, and you all crouch down behind a tree.
“So what’s the plan?” Katara asks. “Assuming you have one, of course.”
“Of course I do,” you say. “Lee’s gonna keep watch and make sure they stay asleep while we get to Sokka.”
“Why do I have to keep watch?”
“Because you’re the one that shot him. And you do an excellent dragon hawk call.”
“You’re the one that shot my brother?”
“Keeping watch actually sounds great.”
If looks could kill, Katara would have you both dead on the ground. Instead, you just stay low and run over to the cave entrance, pushing the bushes away as quietly as possible so Katara can get in first.
“Oh, Sokka,” she whispers as you follow her in, and your entire face falls when you see him slumped against the wall.
His hand is still pressed against his wound, caked in dried blood, but he perks up when he sees the two of you.
“Hey,” he smiles, words slightly slurred, “you actually made it.”
“Like I would let you die in a crappy cave,” Katara says. She kneels down beside him and motions for you to do the same. “It’s a good thing you didn’t take out the arrow. But now we have to.”
Sokka groans. “I'm in a crappy cave because her crappy brother shot me.”
“He’s not crappy!” you exclaim. “But— but he did shoot you, and he’s very sorry.”
“That makes me feel a lot better,” he says wryly.
“Good,” Katara says. “Because this is gonna hurt, and we need to be quiet. Got anything to bite down on?”
Sokka rolls his eyes. “I’ll be fine.”
“Here,” you say, holding out your hand.
“Are you sure? I’ve got a killer grip.”
“My brother shot you, so it’s only fair.”
Sokka stares at you for another second, then takes your hand, fingers intertwining. “Just… do it quick.”
Katara nods, then she rips the arrow out of his side in one swift motion. Sokka’s whole body jolts and he squeezes your hand so hard you think the bones might break, but he manages to stay mostly quiet. She pulls some water out of her container and gets to work, and Sokka’s head falls against the wall as his eyes flit over to you.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be,” you say, only slightly pained. Neither of you let go. “I’m tough.”
“Yeah.” A beat passes as a blue glow fills the room, and Sokka sighs in relief. “I wish you didn’t have to be, though.”
“That’s life.”
“…Yeah,” he repeats.
“We should be good to go.” The room drops back into darkness as Katara bends the water back into her container. “How do you feel, Sokka?”
“Better. Much better. Thanks, Katara.”
“What’s a sister for?” she says wryly. “Now let’s get out of here before those mercenaries wake up. We should probably—”
A shrill whistle breaks through the air, an awful rendition of a dragon hawk’s call, and your heart drops. You’re on your feet and running before you even realize it, breaking out into the night to see Lee standing with his bow fully drawn at the colonel.
“Don’t take another step,” he threatens.
“There’s the woman of the hour!” Mongke exclaims, fully ignoring your brother as his eyes land on you. “Right under our noses the entire time.”
“You chased me halfway across the Fire Nation to collect a bounty,” you say, flexing your fingers. “How much is my father paying you?”
“Nothing, yet.” His eyes flit over to Lee. “But I’m sure he’ll have plenty of gold to provide without any traitorous children left to take care of.”
His arm is shaking now with the effort it takes to keep the bowstring drawn. “So you’ve known all along?”
The colonel shrugs. “I’m not an imbecile. You have a personal stake in finding your sister. That made you that much more likely to put us on the right path.”
“Get down!”
Katara’s voice rings out behind you, and you don’t question her as you drop to the ground. She sends a stream of water at Mongke, strong enough to send him flying into a tree. She clenches her hands into fists and he freezes to the trunk. You turn to her with wide eyes.
“Someone had to shut him up,” she breathes. “Now come on!"
Lee helps you to your feet as she and Sokka start running, and she hits your brother on the shoulder.
“You too, archer boy. You’re not getting off the hook that easily!”
He gives you a concerned look as they disappear into the trees. “Is she serious?”
“You did shoot her brother. She probably wants to get a couple punches in.” You start pulling him along. “We also have no idea where we’re going!”
You make it out of the forest with Lee’s help as a group of four—but you can’t outrun komodo rhinos for much longer. Luckily, Sokka is clearly feeling better, because he’s practically jumping up and down.
“I knew it was a good idea to practice a quick exit!” he exclaims. "This is what I made you do all those reps for! And look— Toph and Aang are already up!”
“Probably because we’ve been gone all night,” Katara says, and she turns to you. “Help me with the tents. Archer boy, you’re our cover while we pack.”
“My name is Lee—”
“I don’t really care,” she says, then she grabs your hand to pull you along to camp as your brother rolls his eyes and draws his bow once more.
“Where have you guys been?” Aang questions, hopping up from the ground with wide eyes. “We’ve been so worried!”
“I wasn’t,” Toph says. “I figured you guys were off doing something stupid.”
“Only slightly,” Sokka says. “But we need to leave, like, right now!”
“I guess it was a good thing we practiced a quick exit,” Aang says thoughtfully.
“That’s what I said!” he exclaims. “Get Appa ready to fly!”
Camp is a blur as you all rush around throwing things together, Toph using her earthbending to shoot everything up to Appa’s back. Lee is holding off the Rough Rhinos with a considerable amount of effort, but he’s being pushed back further and further with each arrow.
“I’m running low!” he yells.
Toph stomps the ground hard and the last of your supplies are sent soaring up to Appa with some help from the earth. Sokka is kicking dirt into your campfire as Katara tosses a bag up to Aang.
“Come on, Lee!” you shout. “We have to go!”
He doesn’t respond, either not hearing you or too caught up in the battle. You grit your teeth and run towards him, summoning the last of your strength to send a huge wave of fire at the mercenaries. You grab Lee’s hand, your palms still smoldering, and drag him along. You won’t lose another brother.
“Now, Toph!”
She sends the two of you flying with some more earthbending, and Lee actually screams—then you land in a heap on Appa’s saddle.
“Appa, yip yip!” Aang cries, and he takes off into the air with a loud groan.
“Holy shit,” you breathe, untangling yourself from your brother. “We did it.”
“You’re damn right we did it!” Sokka exclaims, punching the air with both fists. “I think that was our quickest one yet!”
“Those looked like the same guys that ambushed us at Chin Village,” Aang says.
“Because they were,” Katara says. “They were just after someone else this time.”
“Wait,” Toph says. “Why is there a new person here?”
Everyone suddenly remembers that Lee is here, and he rubs the back of his neck self consciously.
“Everyone,” you say, “this is my brother, Lee. He saved our lives today.”
“Thanks, I guess,” she says. “Even though you didn’t save mine.”
“You look kinda familiar,” Aang says, looking over his shoulder from Appa’s head.
“You’re the Avatar, right?” Lee asks, and he nods. Your brother clears his throat awkwardly. “That’s because I helped capture you under Admiral Zhao’s orders.”
“So you shoot my brother and you captured the Avatar,” Katara says. “Why did we let you come with us again?”
"Katara, come on," Aang says. “It’s water under the bridge. I made an… unexpected friend that day because of it.”
“I’m still sorry,” Lee says.
“I accept your apology, then.”
“I don’t,” Sokka says. “For the record, I’m still mad that you shot me. It really hurt.”
Lee shrugs. “Just be glad it didn’t go through your skull.”
You stifle a laugh and Sokka shakes his head. “Great. Now there’s two of you.”
Katara actually cracks a smile as you continue flying into the night. You all shift and get comfortable, worn ragged but strangely happy as you settle in for a night in the sky. You drift off between people who refuse to give up on you and sleep better than you have in months.
summary: still struggling with the aftermath of hama's actions, you do what you're best at and hide it. for some reason, sokka refuses to make it easy.
a/n: this is sooo much longer than it was supposed to be but i had to fit this all into one chapter to not throw off my outline lmao. i feel like im really hitting my stride in this series and i am still having the best time with all these characters<3 shit gets a little crazy again so i hope you all enjoy!!
wc: 9k
warning(s): injuries, discussions of canon genocide and murder, trauma, fighting, insecurity, the usual deal
Two days and an island have passed since Hama nearly forced Sokka to kill you, and you don’t think you’ve slept a wink since.
It doesn’t really bother you at first. You’ve dealt with nightmares all your life, and they’ve only gotten worse since your brother sacrificed himself to protect you—but this is an entirely new beast. Every time you close your eyes, you see Sokka’s horrified expression, a foreign emotion on his handsome face. It doesn’t help that, despite Katara’s healing, the raised scar cutting across your throat has decided to stick around.
A part of you thinks it’s your burden to bear. After all, it’s from a woman scarred so deeply by your nation, your grandfather, that it never healed. This is nothing in comparison, and much more righteous than the burns you earned for your weakness.
And maybe it is. But you still go into your new island’s town after you finish training to buy the first necklace you find. It makes that pit in your chest feel a bit less overwhelming.
Sokka brings it up first, casually asking if you’re going to keep buying gold jewelry until you blind everyone that looks at you. You don’t miss the flash of concern across his face when you brush him off. Since then, you’ve kept your distance, always busy training or meditating or anything that gives you an excuse to be alone. That doesn’t really stop Sokka from constantly shooting you worried looks that only make you feel worse.
Just because they’re all nice enough to forgive you doesn’t mean you deserve it. After all, Hama isn’t the only person your nation has hurt—not even the first one your family has hurt. Every single thing you’ve ever done has been for the sake of hurting people, mothers and fathers and friends and entire nations.
And for what?
Sokka and Katara’s mother didn’t deserve to die. The refugees seeking a better life in Ba Sing Se didn’t deserve a hostile takeover. What could possibly justify what Hama went through? What could possibly justify the death of an entire culture?
It doesn’t matter that the Air Nomads attacked first. Wiping out the air temples is inhumane. It’s monstrous.
But no animal has left you with scars, and you went along with it your entire life. You know you’re fully capable of the horrible things your family has done because you’ve already done a few. You didn’t join Azula, but you sure didn’t stop her from taking over a city full of refugees, or condemning a whole legion of warriors to death, or killing the Avatar.
You’ve been stumbling around blind your whole life, listening to whatever your superiors told you, but now you’ve been shocked awake. Every moment is painful and vivid and like needles against your skin, and you can’t ever go back to normal. You’re just awful enough to know you can never be like Sokka and his friends—no matter how much you want them to be your friends too.
You fall back against a tree with a sharp sigh, staring up at the sun in consternation. Everything’s too bright these days. Maybe you need to find a nice cave to die in.
Shade suddenly blocks out the rays shining down on you—Katara, standing in front of you with her arms crossed.
“Hey.”
“Is something wrong?” you ask.
“You tell me,” she says. “You’re the one that’s been sulking around all day.”
You frown. “I’m not sulking.”
“Then what do you call this?”
“Sitting around,” you say. “There’s not much else to do.”
“There’s plenty to do. You’re just avoiding us.”
“...No I’m not.”
“Well, you certainly look like it.” Katara tilts her head. “My dad used to say if I kept frowning, my face would get stuck that way.”
“I think my childhood disproves that,” you say.
“Zuko’s always frowning.”
“Zuko’s always upset,” you say, then you feel your brows knit together. “Do you need something, Katara?”
“Yes, actually,” she says. “We need firewood tonight, and you’re going to help me get it.”
“You know, I am a firebender.”
“I’m not letting you start a brush fire,” she says. “Get up. I’m not taking no for an answer.”
You bite your tongue and stand up. For some reason, you’re not in the mood to argue. You’re not in the mood for much of anything, actually, but doing chores is the least you can do after all the trouble you’ve caused.
Katara’s eyes stay on you as you begin walking together, tension thick as a knife until she eventually sighs.
“I don’t hate you, you know.”
“I wouldn’t still be alive if you did,” you say, then clear your throat. “Thanks for saving my life again, by the way.”
“There’s no point in being a healer if you don’t help people in need,” she says.
“I’m… a little surprised you did,” you admit. Katara frowns.
“Why?”
“After what you learned from Hama,” you say, already feeling your eyes start to water. “My family is directly responsible for the destruction of your tribe, and I— I’m so sorry. I promise, if I knew—”
“It’s not your fault,” Katara interrupts. “Yeah, your family sucks, and you kind of do too, sometimes. But you’re not your grandfather, you’re not your father—you’re only responsible for what you’ve done. And you haven’t done anything to hurt us since you joined us.”
You cast a sidelong glance at her. “Do you really think that?”
“I do.”
“Seriously.”
“What, do you want me to make friendship bracelets?”
“No,” you say. “Just…” you huff a laugh. “I can’t really believe it.”
“Neither can I,” Katara says. “But you’ve nearly died right alongside us, so that’s worth something.
Then her eyes drop to your throat, almost involuntarily. You hastily adjust your necklace to cover your burning scar, but it doesn’t do you much good. A beat passes before Katara speaks.
“I can get rid of it, you know.” That’s about the last thing you expect her to say as your eyes dart up to meet her intense stare. It softens just so. “It would just take some focused healing sessions.”
The first time you try to speak, your mouth is too dry to function. You try again and your voice comes out a little raspy.
“It’s okay. I deserve it.”
Katara huffs a hollow laugh. “You didn’t deserve an old woman using my brother to slice open your neck.”
She was right, you think. It’s all you’ve really been able to think about, that killing you is a greater mercy than fumbling your way through traitordom. But you don’t say that. You don’t say much of anything, just crouch down to collect a few sticks. Katara sighs, and when you stand up she’s right beside you.
“You don’t have to punish yourself for the things other people have done,” she says. “It doesn’t matter that they’re family. You didn’t make them do it.”
“But I would’ve done the exact same things that they did,” you say. “I got lucky.”
“You didn’t get lucky,” Katara retorts. “Ending up here doesn’t matter half as much as choosing to stay.”
You smile, more weary than anything. Katara smiles back—but you can’t help it.
“What inspired this?” you question. “I know we’ve been talking more, but… I still figured you didn’t really like me.”
“...Sokka,” she says. “We all see how he looks at you, but lately it’s been killing me. He just looks so damn worried all the time.”
“I’m sure,” you say. “He’s got a lot on his shoulders. You both do.”
“He’s worried about you,” Katara corrects. You think your heart actually stops. “I mean, he’s beating himself up enough for not being strong enough to resist Hama, but now he’s more concerned about your wellbeing than his own.”
“He doesn’t need to worry about me,” you say. “I’m fine.”
“You and I both know that’s not true,” she says. Your eyes flick downwards, and for another minute or so you gather sticks and logs in silence. Eventually, though—
“Can I ask you something?”
“You can do whatever you want,” you say.
Katara rolls her eyes, but when they meet yours, her expression is surprisingly earnest. “Do you like my brother?”
“Of course,” you say as you tuck a bundle of sticks beneath your arm. “He’s really nice to me, and I admire his intelligence.”
“That’s not what I mean,” Katara says. “Do you like him the way that he likes you?”
You huff an uncomfortable laugh. “We’re just friends, Katara. I don’t really understand what you’re getting at.”
“Fine.” She folds her arms over her chest “Does he know that you’re engaged to Zuko?”
You nearly fall flat on your face, because that is actually the last thing you expected her to say. You’ve imagined it a few hundred times, and she’s much angrier in your mind—now, she just watches you expectantly, unmoved by your wide eyes.
“You found the poster.”
“It fell out of your bag when we were rushing to get out of the inn,” she says. “Does he know?”
“I… thought you would be more upset,” you say. “Like, a lot more upset. Yelling, screaming, kicking me out of the group—”
“I just want to know if you’re lying to my brother or not.” Katara says your name with a sigh. “You’re a lot of things, but you’re not stupid. You know that he l—”
“He knows,” you interrupt, and her eyes narrow slightly. “We found it together, when we found Toph’s. He agreed to give me a week to tell you all.”
She looks at you for a weighted moment. “Today marks a week. Were you going to?”
“I don’t really know,” you say hesitantly. “I’ve been kinda out of it.”
“...I think we all have,” Katara murmurs. “I can’t stop thinking about the way it felt.”
“Me too,” you say quietly. “I thought my bones were going to snap in two from fighting so hard, but it did nothing. I was powerless.”
“Hama hurt innocent people, but…” she sighs and shakes her head. “But she had already been through so much. And decades of bloodbending would twist anyone.”
Your entire expression softens at the same time that a sharp column of guilt shoots through you. It’s your fault she had to do it. It’s your fault Katara is forever changed, because she’s too good to let you die. “I’m so sorry.”
“Sokka wouldn’t have been able to live with himself.” She manages an overly casual shrug. “And I guess it’s nice having another girl in the group.”
You smile. Katara is the only waterbender you’ve ever met, but you think she might be one of the best in the world. Aang even told you once they only spent a month there training with a master, which means she’s almost entirely self-taught. You were powerful on your own, but it took you months of private lessons to learn the refined grace that Katara so easily moves with.
You’ve been thinking for a while that she’s the coolest girl you’ve ever met, Agni help you, maybe even more than Azula—and she actually likes having you around?
You snap out of it when she says your name, head tilted forward slightly so she can look you right in the eye.
“I know you feel guilty about your family,” she says. “Your grandfather was one of Hama’s guards, your father is a ruthless general, your ancestors helped destroy the world, you’re best friends with an evil princess and engaged to an evil prince—”
“How long are you going to keep going?” you ask, only slightly miserably.
“Sorry,” she says, more than slightly sheepish. “What I’m trying to say is that you feel guilty because your family has done awful things. And you’ve done some too, but you are the only one to switch sides to help the Avatar save the world. And I think that means something.”
“I just don’t feel like I have the right to be here,” you say. “My existence has hurt all of you. If I was never born—”
“The world is not going to magically become a better place without you,” Katara interrupts. “You are not the root of the Fire Nation’s evil. You were born into it, you helped it, but you were a victim of it. Now you’re here helping us end it, so it’s a damn good thing you were born.”
You’re stunned into silence. Katara speaks with the determination of someone who has had to fight for every single thing she has. It’s like looking in a mirror where the reflection is a whole lot better than you. Her lips quirk at the corners.
“From now on, your future is what matters. Not your past. Got it?”
You nod. “Got it.”
“Good. Now grab that log and let’s get out of here.”
-
“Spirits, I thought you guys got lost!” Sokka exclaims.
“He’s so dramatic,” Toph complains. “He’s been complaining about how hungry he is since you left.”
“Because I’m starving!” His eyes meet yours when you follow Katara to the center of camp, but you have to avert them as you set down your bundle of firewood. The concern in his expression every time he looks at you lately makes you feel so weak, and you hate it.
You got along just fine back at your father’s camp without anyone worrying about you. You’re already away from everything you’ve ever known, desperately trying to keep the shattering pieces of yourself together—you don’t need anyone acknowledging it. For some reason, it feels a thousand times worse coming from Sokka.
“Stop whining,” Katara says as she drops her own pile of sticks and logs. “Where’s Aang?”
“Meditating,” Toph says. “He’s totally freaking out about next week.”
“I don’t blame him,” she murmurs. “I’m scared too.”
“Does this mean we’re finally gonna talk about the camelephant in the room?” Sokka questions, and his eyes cut over to you once again before he looks at his sister. “We need to tell her.”
“No, we don’t.” Katara crosses her arms. “At least, not until the day of.”
“That’s stupid!” he exclaims. “If she’s with us, she’s with us. She needs to have time to prepare.”
“She’ll have time to prepare with everyone else,” she says.
“She is standing right here,” you say. “What are you guys talking about?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Katara says.
“It does matter,” Sokka retorts. “If we leave tomorrow, we’ll get to the rendezvous point with four days to spare. We need that time to prepare, and she needs to be with us.”
“I agree! She’s going to be part of it, but we’re going to the capital.” Katara’s eyes soften when she looks at you, but she holds fast. “Everyone will recognize you there, not to mention you have a bounty on your head. If you get caught—”
“She won’t,” Sokka insists.
“We don’t know that!” she exclaims. “I agree with you, she’s with us, but this isn’t something we can risk. It’s our once chance.”
“Please tell me you’re not fighting again.”
You look over to see Aang coming up the hill, brows creased in concern. You’ve noticed his eyes always go to Katara first.
“We’re not,” you say before anyone else gets the chance, then you meet Katara’s level gaze. “If you need to keep me in the dark to trust me, then do it.”
Sokka says your name in protest, but you shake your head. “It’s fine, Sokka. This is my chance to prove myself to you all.”
The concern doesn’t leave his eyes, but Katara gives you a thankful nod that you return. They’re already giving you a chance you don’t deserve by letting you stay with them—you have no right to ask for anything more.
You don’t bring up the pit in your chest, though, the one that grows larger every time you think about home. Kezu gave his life to help you escape, and now you’re going right back to face what you started.
You aren’t sure if you’re strong enough to do it. But you’re long past the point of no return.
-
Dinner goes smoother than you expect, mostly because you don’t say a single word. You don’t really want to admit that you’re still this shaken from Hama, especially when everyone else seems to have gotten over the sleepless nights by now. Aang keeps everyone occupied with a story from when he visited the Fire Nation as a child with his friend Kuzon until Toph very loudly proclaims that she’s bored and is turning in for the night.
“I was wondering if we could talk,” Sokka says. “I’ve been—”
“I was actually going to go train,” you interrupt, and you see his body tense a bit. “I didn’t get to do it this morning, and I have to make up for it.”
“...Oh,” he says. A beat passes. “I thought you were weaker at night.”
“That’s why I’ve been trying to do it more,” you say. “Whatever we’re doing in the capital, I need to be prepared for it. I need to be strong enough for it.”
“You’re already pretty strong,” Sokka says.
“Well, I need to be stronger.” You smile, but you know it’s not convincing. “We can talk in the morning, after we’ve both gotten some sleep.”
“You’re not really getting much sleep.”
“And how do you know that?”
“Because I’m not either,” he says plainly. Your eyes soften as he glances away. “I can’t even hold my sword anymore.”
“Sokka,” you say gently, “it’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.” He looks back at you with surprising conviction. “If Katara didn’t stop me, I would’ve killed you.”
“That’s not true,” you insist. “She never would’ve let it get to that point. You wouldn’t have either.”
Sokka scoffs. His eyes flick down to the golden band around your neck almost involuntary, and he turns away with a pained expression.
“Clearly not.”
“Sokka—”
“You don’t have to explain yourself,” he says, then he lets out a sigh before he’s able to look back at you. “Just— just don’t shut me out. You’re part of the group now. You’re with us. You don’t have to hold it all in all the time.”
You stare at Sokka for a few moments, a part of you convinced he’s lying—but as you’re starting to learn, he doesn’t lie to you. It’s a fault, honestly, believing you can be as good as he is, but it makes you feel all fuzzy inside. Different from the fire in your lifeblood, the comfort of a hearth instead of a wildfire’s carelessly destructive blaze. Even though you don’t understand it, you welcome it.
“...Okay,” you finally say. “I’ll try.”
“That’s all I ask,” Sokka says. “And that you don’t train too hard.”
“I’ve made enough promises,” you say wryly. “I’ll see you in the morning, Sokka.” You pause. “Thank you for caring.”
“...That’s what friends are for,” he says. You share a small smile before you set off towards the woods. You turn around when you reach the first tree and see Sokka’s watching you—but he immediately averts his eyes with a cough and hurries back to camp.
It starts in your chest, a warmth that spreads from your calloused fingertips to your toes in well-worn sandals as a cool breeze flows through your hair and skirt. You think you might glow beneath the moonlight.
-
It feels strange training at night, throwing punches and kicks practically blind as you wait for your eyes to adjust. But at least there’s one place where your brain still falls silent, day or night, no matter where you are.
When Kezu went off to sea and Lee left for the Yuyans, your father was all too happy to ship you off to the palace at Fire Lord Azulon’s suggestion. Then you suppose he tired of you having friends a few years later and ordered you by dragon hawk to his army base, where you got pretty used to being your only company, with Azula a constant guiding voice in your head.
You trained incredibly hard for your father’s approval, of course, but training was all you had. Your father never smiled at you, your brothers were gone, you’d been separated from all your friends and they didn’t care enough to write. (The first time you spar a soldier and win, you cry. You haven’t felt alive since you left Azula.)
Fighting used to be the most exhilarating part of your life. Mai, Zuko, Ty Lee, Azula—you fight with them like a well-oiled machine because you sparred constantly. In the palace gardens, the palace halls, across the black beaches of Ember Island and the academy’s grassy courtyard.
On your worst days, you challenged the first jerk to push your buttons to an Agni Kai, but you still kinda pride yourself on your perfect record. It got your classmates to stop messing with you pretty quickly when any boy that got into an argument with you would show up to school the next day in slings or balancing on crutches.
Your father blunted your edges for the sake of his own agenda, and Azula carved you into something sharper for hers. You needed to find an in-between if you were going to make this last.
Your flames are weaker than usual, which you blame on the moon, then immediately feel bad for when you remember she’s Sokka’s… ex? Former flame? It’s less important than Princess Yue’s sacrifice, anyway. She gave her life to save the moon spirit, the greatest act of selflessness you’ve ever heard of. You could never be that good, even if you spent your whole life repenting
Then the hair on the back of your neck stands up. You whirl around right as you hear a tree branch break, flames ready at your palms before you’re even fully turned—and when you are, you see Sokka bathed in orange light, hands up in a show of mock surrender.
“It’s okay,” he says. “It’s just me.”
“Spirits, Sokka!” you shout, exhaling massively as you shake your hands dry. “How many times have I told you not to sneak up on me?”
“I’m sorry!” he exclaims. “I— I just really wanted to ask you something.”
“And you couldn’t wait until morning?”
“Why would I? You’re still awake.”
You stare at him, concerned that he might actually be a little crazy, and Sokka chuckles, lowering his hands a bit as moves closer. “I guess I wanted to spend time with you too. It’s been a while since we’ve gotten to talk like this.”
“It’s been like, three days.” You frown. “You talked to me this morning.”
“When I was defending your honor,” he says. “Which you didn’t like, I guess, seeing as you sided with Katara.”
“I wasn’t siding with her, I acknowledged the truth,” you say. “And I don’t need you to defend my honor, Sokka. I can do it just fine on my own.”
“I get that!” Sokka insists. “I do! I just want you to really know you’re not alone in this. When I said you’re with us, I meant it. You’ve been a part of my plan since the day you washed up on the beach. We… just can’t tell you about it yet.”
“I know,” you say. “And I’m incredibly grateful to be included before I’ve proven myself. I’ll make you all proud.”
“You’ve proven yourself a thousand times over,” he says. “Just be yourself, and you’ll kick ass.”
You actually find a smile pulling at your lips, soft at first then insistent as a laugh tumbles out. “I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
Sokka grins, and the hearth erupts like a volcano inside you when he takes his topknot out. His hair has gotten so long that he has to brush it out of his eyes now, and it makes you feel a little short of breath.
“I guess that means I can ask my question then?”
“I think you’ve earned it.”
He rocks back and forth on his feet for a moment before he blurts out, “Could I watch you train?”
You laugh at first, thinking it’s a joke. But Sokka is wholly genuine, eyes almost gleaming, and that’s wholly perplexing. “Seriously?”
Sokka’s head bobs up and down rapidly. “Yeah! My dad and his friend Bato taught me how to fight when I was young, but Suki showed me how a real warrior fights. She’s incredible. But you fight totally differently than her, and I want to learn as much as I can. I mean, you were trained at the palace, right?”
You grimace involuntarily at her name. You’ve had many sleepless nights since the fight in some random Earth Kingdom forest—since you sentenced an entire league of Kyoshi Warriors to a fate in a Fire Nation jail or worse.
“I don’t blame you for it anymore,” Sokka says, and you blink.
“What?”
“Suki and her warriors.” You avert your gaze, cheeks burning. You swear you’re not usually this obvious. “It’s a fact that you’re going to save her with me, so I’ve already forgiven you for it. In my mind, Suki was saved the second you washed up on that beach.”
“You already said that one.” It comes out as more of a rasp. You don’t understand how he has this much confidence in you.
“Because it’s true.” You turn as he moves closer, but he just crouches by the stream and trails a few fingers in the water. “Why do you train near water?”
“To prevent forest fires,” you say. “Or burning my clothes off. These aren’t fireproof,” you pull at the singed hem of your top, “clearly.”
He chuckles, then gestures at the lake with his head as he sits down. “Join me.”
You tilt your head. “I thought you wanted to watch me train.”
“It’s mostly the spending time with you part,” he says. “C’mon. You can take a break with me, then get right back into it.”
You sigh. “Sokka—”
The wind whistles, faint on the breeze, and then Sokka lurches forward with a shout. Your eyes widen when you see an arrow sticking out of his side. Your head snaps to the treeline and you throw yourself out of the way just in time to avoid chain bolas spinning rapidly through the air.
“What the fuck?” Sokka groans as he presses his hand against the wound, fingers splayed around the arrow.
You’re under attack. It blares in your head so loud your teeth chatter as you sprint over to Sokka and haul him up. You stumble when all his weight falls on you for the first few seconds as he catches his footing, but you make it into the woods just as you hear rumbling footsteps break through to the clearing. Someone, something is after you, and you’re not going to stick around to find out what it is.
“What the fuck?” Sokka repeats, exclaiming your name as you half-drag him through the forest. “Why is there an arrow in me?”
“We’re close to a harbor town,” you say. “I saw it when we flew in. Maybe it's the military—"
“You don’t have to remind me,” he complains, and then he stumbles and nearly sends you both to the ground. The extra seconds it takes getting him back on his feet has your eyes anxiously darting back and forth into the treacherous brush—then a loud voice echoes off the trees.
“You can’t run forever!”
Sokka gives you a desperate look, and you just grab him and keep running. More arrows shoot past you, and you manage to block one with a wrist cuff and incinerate the rest. You shoot a few massive fireballs behind you to topple trees in your path, but it’s reduced to splinters when an explosive goes off and rocks the ground beneath you.
“Come on, Sokka, keep running!”
“I’m sorry! There’s an arrow in me!”
“We’ll deal with that when we’re not being chased by bounty hunters!”
“Oh, so that’s what this is?”
“Shut up!” you groan.
Sokka’s strength is steadily waning as he relies on you for more and more support. You hide it best you can, but you’re getting winded running for your life and dragging him along.
But maybe the spirits are listening, because you run past a cave face so concealed you nearly miss it. You elbow your way through the bushes just in time to hear your pursuers catch you—or where you were, at least. You watch through the gaps in the greenery, just a rock’s throw from whatever deadly group of mercenaries has decided to capture the bounty on your head.
“Why does someone always get hurt when you’re around?” Sokka complains through gritted teeth. He’s pressed against the cave wall, staring at the arrow in his side with contempt.
“Be quiet,” you hiss. He rolls his eyes but listens, and you watch as two men on komodo rhinos break through into the clearing—a man wielding those chain bolas, and a man with a dark red tattoo curving across his amberwood skin. A Yuyan archer on a komodo rhino is strange.
Another three men join the group and your knees feel weak as it dawns on you. One is wearing full armor, another has a spike-studded shoulder plate, but you see a face that you recognize in military scrolls. Colonel Mongke, leader of the Rough Rhinos that worked his way up in the army just so he could moonlight as a mercenary.
“Another failed lead,” he spits. “Where did you find this tracker, Vachir?”
The Yuyan doesn’t give him the satisfaction of a reaction. “She was here. I know it, and so do you.”
“She couldn’t have gone far,” the shoulder-plated one says, jabbing his elbow into the armored man. “We could light this place up in a second, eh?”
“That would do more harm than good.”
“Where’s your buddy, then?” The man’s voice is muffled by his helmet, but he towers over the archer. “He’s the one that led us into these woods. You said he was the best tracker in the four nations.”
“I didn’t say that,” Vachir retorts stiffly. “He is a Yuyan. A Yuyan has standards.”
“Clearly not.”
“I do.”
Another man shoulders through the trees, stowing his bow on his back as he stops in the clearing. “You just don’t trust me.”
You can barely see his face from here—your legs still buckle beneath you at the sound of his voice. Sokka tries to lunge for you again, but he barely saves himself from toppling over. The color is steadily draining from his face. He whisper-yells your name.
“What’s wrong?”
You don’t really hear Sokka, either. Too focused on the braided strands pulled into his topknot that you used to do for him, more visible without his usual headband—unable to look away from the scar cutting across chin that he earned from tripping and knocking his teeth out on a rock when you were kids.
“He’s still a rookie,” Shoulder Plate growls. “We should’ve never taken him on a job this big.”
“I am the best tracker in the four nations,” he says. “You’re all just too impatient.”
Sokka shakes you out of your trance, wide blue eyes pleading with you against his graying skin. Nausea rises in your throat as you place your hands on his wound. His tunic is already damp with blood.
“I’m so sorry,” you breathe. “I need to get you out of here. I need to get you back to Katara—”
“You need to make this make sense,” he interrupts. “Who are those people? Why are they chasing us? Are you okay?”
“Now is not the time—”
“Yes, it is! What is going on?”
Your head is spinning from the sight, and Sokka’s numerous questions don’t help. You screw your eyes shut as you suck in deep breaths, focusing on his hand against your bare shoulder. Eventually, you’re able to speak.
“They’re mercenaries.” Your voice still comes out a bit shaky. “A specialized team in the Army, technically, but they’re still mercenaries. They’re here to collect my bounty."
“Oh.” Sokka’s voice is considerably smaller. “They’re that scary, huh?”
“It’s not them,” you say quietly. “Their tracker…”
“Colonel—”
“I don’t want to hear it,” Mongke snaps. “You’re searching these woods until the sun rises. If you’re as good a tracker as you claim, you should have no problem.”
“He’s gonna come back sobbing and empty-handed,” the bearded man sneers.
“If he is empty-handed, he should not bother coming back,” the colonel corrects. The man isn’t phased.
“That won’t be a problem.”
“Then I’m sure you won’t mind if we make camp here.”
“Not at all.”
You clench your jaw so hard you think your teeth might crack. No. They can’t stay here— they can’t camp here. You stand no chance of getting Sokka out if they stay this close, especially if he makes any sort of noise from the pain.
The men start grabbing their supplies off the backs of the komodo rhinos, and you resist the urge to hit your head against the cave wall. You won’t let Sokka die here, but this just got a whole lot harder.
You glance back out into the night, and you swear you lock eyes with the tracker. You could never forget them—ochre irises almost made more vivid against the maroon ink, eyebrows thinner than they should be courtesy of two firebending siblings.
Then he starts walking towards your cave, and you don’t dare to breathe.
“Lee, make yourself useful,” the colonel demands. “If you lose the trail—”
“I won’t,” he says roughly. “I heard something.”
Every footstep towards the cave makes your heart pound, so loud you swear he can hear it. He reaches the opening and pulls the bushes away—and his hands freeze when he sees you and Sokka.
You haven’t seen your brother since he got his tattoos, and it shows. His strong features have matured and his hair is longer and there’s a determination in his eyes that runs in the family—but it doesn’t matter. He’s still the boy that helped raise you.
Even if he’s helping a group of mercenaries hunt you down.
Lee looks at you like he’s seen a ghost, barely paying a second glance to Sokka. One call back to his crew and it’s over for both of you.
“You’re alive.” His voice is so quiet you have to strain to hear it. “I knew it. I knew Father was lying.”
“Lee—”
“Is there someone there or not?” the colonel shouts, and his body tenses. Lee’s eyes flit away for a moment before they meet yours again, and for a terrible second you’re worried he’s going to turn you in.
“Please,” you whisper, the only word your lips can form. Your brother’s expression turns so pained you can barely stand to look at it.
And then he lets the bushes fall back into place, dropping you and Sokka into darkness again, and you hear his footsteps get farther and farther away.
“False alarm,” Lee says. “Just a bunch of squirrel toads.”
“You really are the best tracker in the world,” one of them says wryly. You don’t hear the rest of the conversation as you finally start breathing again. You collapse against the wall, hands shaking so hard you have to press them against your legs.
“Who was that?” Sokka questions. “Why did he let us go?”
“My brother,” you say faintly. “And I have no idea why.”
He sighs and looks back down at the arrow still embedded in his side. “Every day with you is an adventure.”
-
“I can’t believe your brother shot me.”
“Sokka—”
“I know, I know. I have to be quiet. But I doubt they can hear us anyways.”
“Do you really want to test that?” you challenge. “Besides, I already told you it might not have been him. There’s another Yuyan—”
“Well, one of them shot me, and it still really hurts!”
“You’re lucky it didn’t go right through your skull!”
“You're real great at pep talks.”
You’ve been stuck in this cave with Sokka for what feels like hours, waiting for the mercenaries to fall asleep before you make any sort of move. It’s the most grating sort of anticipation, especially when you’re the only one who can care for his wound.
“I’m not trying to make you feel better, I’m trying to make sure you don’t die.” You’ve torn off half of your skirt creating makeshift bandages to wrap around the arrow, but you’re not much of a healer. You are smart enough to not pull it out, at least. “Most of them are asleep by now. I’ll go back to camp and find Katara—”
“No,” Sokka interrupts. “You’re not going out there alone.”
“You’ve got an arrow in your side, Sokka. You’ll only get more hurt. I can handle myself.” Your eyes flit out to the mercenaries’ camp, where you can see a blazing fire at the center. “As long as you keep your mouth shut and stay out of sight, you’ll be fine.”
“You’re willing to risk that?”
“I’d do a lot worse to save your life,” you say. “But you have to stay here. You don’t stand a chance against any of them.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“You know what I mean,” you say. “Besides, my brother’s out there. He won’t hurt me.”
“I don’t know,” Sokka says. “He is with the mercenary group that’s hunting us.”
“They’re hunting me. If you just went to bed like you should have, you wouldn’t be here.”
He groans. “Can we not fight? We’re already in a shitty situation—”
“We’re not fighting, I’m just right.” You stand up as Sokka rolls his eyes. “Do you feel okay?”
“...I’ll be fine,” he says. “Just don’t do anything stupid. I don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t.”
You smile, but Sokka just looks at you with deep-seeded concern. You slip out into the night before you can doubt yourself.
It’s easy to sneak away from the Rough Rhinos’ camp when they’re asleep, especially since you’ve grown light on your feet after years around the palace and your father. The hard part is navigating through the woods.
Everything looks exactly the same under the cover of darkness, just trees and grass and rocks that you can’t tell apart to save your life—which you guess is kinda the situation. But as you run, the wind blowing through your hair and much shorter skirt, you can only think back to your brother.
The pride of Lee’s entire life is being a Yuyan. It’s all he’s ever worked for, all he’s ever wanted, which is why you don’t understand what he's doing with a bunch of mercenaries.
Does that mean he deserted too? Or did your father put him on your tail, determined to have one child that still respects him? But he seemed so shocked to see you—shocked that you were alive at all. Does your father actually think that you died at sea? If he did, then he’s not the one that put up the wanted posters. But that makes even less sense. Who else has the motivation?
Azula, maybe, but she wouldn’t stop at wanted posters. You think you would already be dead if she was on your trail.
You’re jarred out of your thoughts when someone grabs your arm and hauls you behind a tree. You scream but it’s muffled when a hand is slammed over your mouth—you nearly bite a finger off before you realize it’s your brother, and he drops his hand.
“What are you doing out here?” Lee whisper-yells.
“Going to save my friend.” You tug your arm out of his grip. “What are you doing here?”
“Trying to keep you from getting yourself killed.”
“I mean with these mercenaries? The ones that you’re helping hunt me?”
“No,” he insists. “I— I mean, yes, technically, but it was the only way I could get out of Pohuai!”
“So you left the Yuyans?”
“No!” Lee groans and looks around, making sure you’re alone, before he gestures with his head. “Come on. I’ll get you out of the woods.”
“I’m not just getting out of the woods, I’m going back to our camp so I can get my healer friend.” You frown. “Did you shoot Sokka?”
“I wouldn’t have if I knew he was your friend.”
“Spirits, Lee! How could you?”
“I just said I didn’t know he was your friend!” he defends. “Besides, he’ll be fine. I don’t shoot to kill out here.”
“That’s so reassuring,” you grumble, but you start walking together anyway. Silence quickly descends over you as Lee leads you through the woods like he’s lived here all his life. You’re still processing the fact that your brother is here.
“So,” you finally say, because you might as well ask, “why are you here?”
“Since Ba Sing Se fell, things have been… rough.” Lee looks up at the sky, starlight reflecting off his amber eyes. “Every general, admiral, colonel— every leader was given orders to go full steam ahead. The Fire Nation is so close to winning the war that the Fire Lord is treating it like a guarantee. Shinu’s been sending groups of Yuyans out on secret missions practically every day. Last week, he finally chose me for one.” His stony gaze meets yours. “Imagine how I feel when I get a messenger hawk from Father the day before we leave telling me that both my siblings are dead.”
Your face burns as your gaze drops to the ground, unable to look your brother in the eye. It’s not right that you’re here and Kezu isn’t.
“But on the first day of the mission, I saw a wanted poster with your face on it.” He shakes his head, lips twisting downward. “I didn’t know if Father was lying, or if he just wanted extra insurance, but I broke off to find you on my own. The Rhinos found me on your trail, and I bartered my tracking skills for my life. I never thought I would find you while I was with them— it was just a means to an end.”
“…Wow,” you murmur. “I didn’t think you would ever leave Pohuai.”
He shrugs, overly casual. “I already lost one sibling. I refuse to lose another.”
Red hot guilt claws at you. “I’m so sorry, Lee. If I knew that’s how it would’ve ended, I never would’ve tried to leave in the first place, I swear.”
“...So it’s true,” he says faintly. “You were both leaving the Fire Nation.”
You nod, ashamed. “He gave his life for mine. I’m going to spend the rest of my days trying to be worthy of it.”
Lee falls silent for a while, and you still can’t bring yourself to look at him. First his mother, then his brother. You keep taking the people he loves away from him. Finally, though, he speaks.
“I’m glad I found you.” It’s more of a rasp than anything. “I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like going through all this on your own.”
You frown. “You’re not mad?”
“At Father. Not at you.” He shakes his head with a sigh. “When did everything get so fucked up?”
“I don’t know,” you murmur. “But I’m glad you found me too.”
You finally muster the courage to look at your brother, only to find he’s already smiling at you. Lee wraps his arm around you and pulls you close, and you rest your head on his shoulder with a sigh.
“I’ve missed you so much,” he says softly. “I’m so glad you’re not dead.”
You huff a laugh, unable to bring yourself to say the same words about yourself. Lee graciously doesn’t mention it.
Eventually, you break out of the woods, and you see a bonfire in the distance. Your shoulders sag with relief.
“That’s our camp.”
“Good.” Lee turns to you with a slight furrow in his brows. “What are you doing here, anyways? Who are you with?”
“I’ve… kind of joined the Avatar?”
His eyebrows immediately shoot up. “Are you joking?”
“It’s a long story,” you say. “One for another time. I need to get our healer.”
Lee nods, and you break into a sprint. You burst into Katara’s tent and she immediately shoots up, water at her hands before she’s even fully conscious.
“It’s just me!” you whisper.
“What’s wrong?”
You’re a bit insulted that she initially jumps to a problem, but she is right.
“It’s Sokka,” you say. “We were in the woods and Fire Nation bounty hunters found us and he got shot by an arrow—”
“What?”
“Just come with me!” you plead.
“Let me get Aang and Toph—”
“No,” you interrupt. “No one can know the Avatar is alive, and Toph has a bounty too. It has to be you.”
Katara stares at you for a heated moment before she nods, expression hardening, and she follows you out. You see her tying her hair up as you lead her to the woods, but she stops in her tracks when she sees your brother.
“Who are you?”
“Our way back,” you say. “These woods are dense, and he’s an incredible tracker.”
Her eyes narrow. “He looks like one of those bounty hunters you’re talking about."
“I’m your friend’s brother, actually,” he says, and Katara looks at you like you’re crazy.
“That’s why I didn’t want to tell her right away,” you grumble. “Now come on! Sokka could be bleeding out in that cave.”
“Why do I ever leave the two of you alone?” Katara marvels. She follows you into the wooded abyss anyways.
You’re huffing and puffing from sprinting everywhere by the time you reach the clearing from before, and you all crouch down behind a tree.
“So what’s the plan?” Katara asks. “Assuming you have one, of course.”
“Of course I do,” you say. “Lee’s gonna keep watch and make sure they stay asleep while we get to Sokka.”
“Why do I have to keep watch?”
“Because you’re the one that shot him. And you do an excellent dragon hawk call.”
“You’re the one that shot my brother?”
“Keeping watch actually sounds great.”
If looks could kill, Katara would have you both dead on the ground. Instead, you just stay low and run over to the cave entrance, pushing the bushes away as quietly as possible so Katara can get in first.
“Oh, Sokka,” she whispers as you follow her in, and your entire face falls when you see him slumped against the wall.
His hand is still pressed against his wound, caked in dried blood, but he perks up when he sees the two of you.
“Hey,” he smiles, words slightly slurred, “you actually made it.”
“Like I would let you die in a crappy cave,” Katara says. She kneels down beside him and motions for you to do the same. “It’s a good thing you didn’t take out the arrow. But now we have to.”
Sokka groans. “I'm in a crappy cave because her crappy brother shot me.”
“He’s not crappy!” you exclaim. “But— but he did shoot you, and he’s very sorry.”
“That makes me feel a lot better,” he says wryly.
“Good,” Katara says. “Because this is gonna hurt, and we need to be quiet. Got anything to bite down on?”
Sokka rolls his eyes. “I’ll be fine.”
“Here,” you say, holding out your hand.
“Are you sure? I’ve got a killer grip.”
“My brother shot you, so it’s only fair.”
Sokka stares at you for another second, then takes your hand, fingers intertwining. “Just… do it quick.”
Katara nods, then she rips the arrow out of his side in one swift motion. Sokka’s whole body jolts and he squeezes your hand so hard you think the bones might break, but he manages to stay mostly quiet. She pulls some water out of her container and gets to work, and Sokka’s head falls against the wall as his eyes flit over to you.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be,” you say, only slightly pained. Neither of you let go. “I’m tough.”
“Yeah.” A beat passes as a blue glow fills the room, and Sokka sighs in relief. “I wish you didn’t have to be, though.”
“That’s life.”
“…Yeah,” he repeats.
“We should be good to go.” The room drops back into darkness as Katara bends the water back into her container. “How do you feel, Sokka?”
“Better. Much better. Thanks, Katara.”
“What’s a sister for?” she says wryly. “Now let’s get out of here before those mercenaries wake up. We should probably—”
A shrill whistle breaks through the air, an awful rendition of a dragon hawk’s call, and your heart drops. You’re on your feet and running before you even realize it, breaking out into the night to see Lee standing with his bow fully drawn at the colonel.
“Don’t take another step,” he threatens.
“There’s the woman of the hour!” Mongke exclaims, fully ignoring your brother as his eyes land on you. “Right under our noses the entire time.”
“You chased me halfway across the Fire Nation to collect a bounty,” you say, flexing your fingers. “How much is my father paying you?”
“Nothing, yet.” His eyes flit over to Lee. “But I’m sure he’ll have plenty of gold to provide without any traitorous children left to take care of.”
His arm is shaking now with the effort it takes to keep the bowstring drawn. “So you’ve known all along?”
The colonel shrugs. “I’m not an imbecile. You have a personal stake in finding your sister. That made you that much more likely to put us on the right path.”
“Get down!”
Katara’s voice rings out behind you, and you don’t question her as you drop to the ground. She sends a stream of water at Mongke, strong enough to send him flying into a tree. She clenches her hands into fists and he freezes to the trunk. You turn to her with wide eyes.
“Someone had to shut him up,” she breathes. “Now come on!"
Lee helps you to your feet as she and Sokka start running, and she hits your brother on the shoulder.
“You too, archer boy. You’re not getting off the hook that easily!”
He gives you a concerned look as they disappear into the trees. “Is she serious?”
“You did shoot her brother. She probably wants to get a couple punches in.” You start pulling him along. “We also have no idea where we’re going!”
You make it out of the forest with Lee’s help as a group of four—but you can’t outrun komodo rhinos for much longer. Luckily, Sokka is clearly feeling better, because he’s practically jumping up and down.
“I knew it was a good idea to practice a quick exit!” he exclaims. "This is what I made you do all those reps for! And look— Toph and Aang are already up!”
“Probably because we’ve been gone all night,” Katara says, and she turns to you. “Help me with the tents. Archer boy, you’re our cover while we pack.”
“My name is Lee—”
“I don’t really care,” she says, then she grabs your hand to pull you along to camp as your brother rolls his eyes and draws his bow once more.
“Where have you guys been?” Aang questions, hopping up from the ground with wide eyes. “We’ve been so worried!”
“I wasn’t,” Toph says. “I figured you guys were off doing something stupid.”
“Only slightly,” Sokka says. “But we need to leave, like, right now!”
“I guess it was a good thing we practiced a quick exit,” Aang says thoughtfully.
“That’s what I said!” he exclaims. “Get Appa ready to fly!”
Camp is a blur as you all rush around throwing things together, Toph using her earthbending to shoot everything up to Appa’s back. Lee is holding off the Rough Rhinos with a considerable amount of effort, but he’s being pushed back further and further with each arrow.
“I’m running low!” he yells.
Toph stomps the ground hard and the last of your supplies are sent soaring up to Appa with some help from the earth. Sokka is kicking dirt into your campfire as Katara tosses a bag up to Aang.
“Come on, Lee!” you shout. “We have to go!”
He doesn’t respond, either not hearing you or too caught up in the battle. You grit your teeth and run towards him, summoning the last of your strength to send a huge wave of fire at the mercenaries. You grab Lee’s hand, your palms still smoldering, and drag him along. You won’t lose another brother.
“Now, Toph!”
She sends the two of you flying with some more earthbending, and Lee actually screams—then you land in a heap on Appa’s saddle.
“Appa, yip yip!” Aang cries, and he takes off into the air with a loud groan.
“Holy shit,” you breathe, untangling yourself from your brother. “We did it.”
“You’re damn right we did it!” Sokka exclaims, punching the air with both fists. “I think that was our quickest one yet!”
“Those looked like the same guys that ambushed us at Chin Village,” Aang says.
“Because they were,” Katara says. “They were just after someone else this time.”
“Wait,” Toph says. “Why is there a new person here?”
Everyone suddenly remembers that Lee is here, and he rubs the back of his neck self consciously.
“Everyone,” you say, “this is my brother, Lee. He saved our lives today.”
“Thanks, I guess,” she says. “Even though you didn’t save mine.”
“You look kinda familiar,” Aang says, looking over his shoulder from Appa’s head.
“You’re the Avatar, right?” Lee asks, and he nods. Your brother clears his throat awkwardly. “That’s because I helped capture you under Admiral Zhao’s orders.”
“So you shoot my brother and you captured the Avatar,” Katara says. “Why did we let you come with us again?”
"Katara, come on," Aang says. “It’s water under the bridge. I made an… unexpected friend that day because of it.”
“I’m still sorry,” Lee says.
“I accept your apology, then.”
“I don’t,” Sokka says. “For the record, I’m still mad that you shot me. It really hurt.”
Lee shrugs. “Just be glad it didn’t go through your skull.”
You stifle a laugh and Sokka shakes his head. “Great. Now there’s two of you.”
Katara actually cracks a smile as you continue flying into the night. You all shift and get comfortable, worn ragged but strangely happy as you settle in for a night in the sky. You drift off between people who refuse to give up on you and sleep better than you have in months.
summary: still struggling with the aftermath of hama's actions, you do what you're best at and hide it. for some reason, sokka refuses to make it easy.
a/n: this is sooo much longer than it was supposed to be but i had to fit this all into one chapter to not throw off my outline lmao. i feel like im really hitting my stride in this series and i am still having the best time with all these characters<3 shit gets a little crazy again so i hope you all enjoy!!
wc: 9k
warning(s): injuries, discussions of canon genocide and murder, trauma, fighting, insecurity, the usual deal
Two days and an island have passed since Hama nearly forced Sokka to kill you, and you don’t think you’ve slept a wink since.
It doesn’t really bother you at first. You’ve dealt with nightmares all your life, and they’ve only gotten worse since your brother sacrificed himself to protect you—but this is an entirely new beast. Every time you close your eyes, you see Sokka’s horrified expression, a foreign emotion on his handsome face. It doesn’t help that, despite Katara’s healing, the raised scar cutting across your throat has decided to stick around.
A part of you thinks it’s your burden to bear. After all, it’s from a woman scarred so deeply by your nation, your grandfather, that it never healed. This is nothing in comparison, and much more righteous than the burns you earned for your weakness.
And maybe it is. But you still go into your new island’s town after you finish training to buy the first necklace you find. It makes that pit in your chest feel a bit less overwhelming.
Sokka brings it up first, casually asking if you’re going to keep buying gold jewelry until you blind everyone that looks at you. You don’t miss the flash of concern across his face when you brush him off. Since then, you’ve kept your distance, always busy training or meditating or anything that gives you an excuse to be alone. That doesn’t really stop Sokka from constantly shooting you worried looks that only make you feel worse.
Just because they’re all nice enough to forgive you doesn’t mean you deserve it. After all, Hama isn’t the only person your nation has hurt—not even the first one your family has hurt. Every single thing you’ve ever done has been for the sake of hurting people, mothers and fathers and friends and entire nations.
And for what?
Sokka and Katara’s mother didn’t deserve to die. The refugees seeking a better life in Ba Sing Se didn’t deserve a hostile takeover. What could possibly justify what Hama went through? What could possibly justify the death of an entire culture?
It doesn’t matter that the Air Nomads attacked first. Wiping out the air temples is inhumane. It’s monstrous.
But no animal has left you with scars, and you went along with it your entire life. You know you’re fully capable of the horrible things your family has done because you’ve already done a few. You didn’t join Azula, but you sure didn’t stop her from taking over a city full of refugees, or condemning a whole legion of warriors to death, or killing the Avatar.
You’ve been stumbling around blind your whole life, listening to whatever your superiors told you, but now you’ve been shocked awake. Every moment is painful and vivid and like needles against your skin, and you can’t ever go back to normal. You’re just awful enough to know you can never be like Sokka and his friends—no matter how much you want them to be your friends too.
You fall back against a tree with a sharp sigh, staring up at the sun in consternation. Everything’s too bright these days. Maybe you need to find a nice cave to die in.
Shade suddenly blocks out the rays shining down on you—Katara, standing in front of you with her arms crossed.
“Hey.”
“Is something wrong?” you ask.
“You tell me,” she says. “You’re the one that’s been sulking around all day.”
You frown. “I’m not sulking.”
“Then what do you call this?”
“Sitting around,” you say. “There’s not much else to do.”
“There’s plenty to do. You’re just avoiding us.”
“...No I’m not.”
“Well, you certainly look like it.” Katara tilts her head. “My dad used to say if I kept frowning, my face would get stuck that way.”
“I think my childhood disproves that,” you say.
“Zuko’s always frowning.”
“Zuko’s always upset,” you say, then you feel your brows knit together. “Do you need something, Katara?”
“Yes, actually,” she says. “We need firewood tonight, and you’re going to help me get it.”
“You know, I am a firebender.”
“I’m not letting you start a brush fire,” she says. “Get up. I’m not taking no for an answer.”
You bite your tongue and stand up. For some reason, you’re not in the mood to argue. You’re not in the mood for much of anything, actually, but doing chores is the least you can do after all the trouble you’ve caused.
Katara’s eyes stay on you as you begin walking together, tension so thick a knife could cut it, until she eventually sighs.
“I don’t hate you, you know.”
“I wouldn’t still be alive if you did,” you say, then clear your throat. “Thanks for saving my life again, by the way.”
“There’s no point in being a healer if you don’t help people in need,” she says.
“I’m… a little surprised you did,” you admit. Katara frowns.
“Why?”
“After what you learned from Hama,” you say, already feeling your eyes start to water. “My family is directly responsible for the destruction of your tribe, and I— I’m so sorry. I promise, if I knew—”
“It’s not your fault,” Katara interrupts. “Yeah, your family sucks, and you kind of do too, sometimes. But you’re not your grandfather, you’re not your father—you’re only responsible for what you’ve done. And you haven’t done anything to hurt us since you joined us.”
You cast a sidelong glance at her. “Do you really think that?”
“I do.”
“Seriously.”
“What, do you want me to make friendship bracelets?”
“No,” you say. “Just…” you huff a laugh. “I can’t really believe it.”
“Neither can I,” Katara says. “But you’ve nearly died right alongside us, so that’s worth something.
Then her eyes drop to your throat, almost involuntarily. You hastily adjust your necklace to cover your burning scar, but it doesn’t do you much good. A beat passes before Katara speaks.
“I can get rid of it, you know.” That’s about the last thing you expect her to say as your eyes dart up to meet her intense stare. It softens just so. “It would just take some focused healing sessions.”
The first time you try to speak, your mouth is too dry to function. You try again and your voice comes out a little raspy.
“It’s okay. I deserve it.”
Katara huffs a hollow laugh. “You didn’t deserve an old woman using my brother to slice open your neck.”
She was right, you think. It’s all you’ve really been able to think about, that killing you is a greater mercy than fumbling your way through traitordom. But you don’t say that. You don’t say much of anything, just crouch down to collect a few sticks. Katara sighs, and when you stand up she’s right beside you.
“You don’t have to punish yourself for the things other people have done,” she says. “It doesn’t matter that they’re family. You didn’t make them do it.”
“But I would’ve done the exact same things that they did,” you say. “I got lucky.”
“You didn’t get lucky,” Katara retorts. “Ending up here doesn’t matter half as much as choosing to stay.”
You smile, more weary than anything. Katara smiles back—but you can’t help it.
“What inspired this?” you question. “I know we’ve been talking more, but… I still figured you didn’t really like me.”
“...Sokka,” she says. “We all see how he looks at you, but lately it’s been killing me. He just looks so damn worried all the time.”
“I’m sure,” you say. “He’s got a lot on his shoulders. You both do.”
“He’s worried about you,” Katara corrects. You think your heart actually stops. “I mean, he’s beating himself up enough for not being strong enough to resist Hama, but now he’s more concerned about your wellbeing than his own.”
“He doesn’t need to worry about me,” you say. “I’m fine.”
“You and I both know that’s not true,” she says. Your eyes flick downwards, and for another minute or so you gather sticks and logs in silence. Eventually, though—
“Can I ask you something?”
“You can do whatever you want,” you say.
Katara rolls her eyes, but when they meet yours, her expression is surprisingly earnest. “Do you like my brother?”
“Of course,” you say as you tuck a bundle of sticks beneath your arm. “He’s really nice to me, and I admire his intelligence.”
“That’s not what I mean,” Katara says. “Do you like him the way that he likes you?”
You huff an uncomfortable laugh. “We’re just friends, Katara. I don’t really understand what you’re getting at.”
“Fine.” She folds her arms over her chest “Does he know that you’re engaged to Zuko?”
You nearly fall flat on your face, because that is actually the last thing you expected her to say. You’ve imagined it a few hundred times, and she’s much angrier in your mind—now, she just watches you expectantly, unmoved by your wide eyes.
“You found the poster.”
“It fell out of your bag when we were rushing to get out of the inn,” she says. “Does he know?”
“I… thought you would be more upset,” you say. “Like, a lot more upset. Yelling, screaming, kicking me out of the group—”
“I just want to know if you’re lying to my brother or not.” Katara says your name with a sigh. “You’re a lot of things, but you’re not stupid. You know that he l—”
“He knows,” you interrupt, and her eyes narrow slightly. “We found it together, when we found Toph’s. He agreed to give me a week to tell you all.”
She looks at you for a weighted moment. “Today marks a week. Were you going to?”
“I don’t really know,” you say hesitantly. “I’ve been kinda out of it.”
“...I think we all have,” Katara murmurs. “I can’t stop thinking about the way it felt.”
“Me too,” you say quietly. “I thought my bones were going to snap in two from fighting so hard, but it did nothing. I was powerless.”
“Hama hurt innocent people, but…” she sighs and shakes her head. “But she had already been through so much. And decades of bloodbending would twist anyone.”
Your entire expression softens at the same time that a sharp column of guilt shoots through you. It’s your fault she had to do it. It’s your fault Katara is forever changed, because she’s too good to let you die. “I’m so sorry.”
“Sokka wouldn’t have been able to live with himself.” She manages an overly casual shrug. “And I guess it’s nice having another girl in the group.”
You smile. Katara is the only waterbender you’ve ever met, but you think she might be one of the best in the world. Aang even told you once they only spent a month there training with a master, which means she’s almost entirely self-taught. You were powerful on your own, but it took you months of private lessons to learn the refined grace that Katara so easily moves with.
You’ve been thinking for a while that she’s the coolest girl you’ve ever met, Agni help you, maybe even more than Azula—and she actually likes having you around?
You snap out of it when she says your name, head tilted forward slightly so she can look you right in the eye.
“I know you feel guilty about your family,” she says. “Your grandfather was one of Hama’s guards, your father is a ruthless general, your ancestors helped destroy the world, you’re best friends with an evil princess and engaged to an evil prince—”
“How long are you going to keep going?” you ask, only slightly miserably.
“Sorry,” she says, more than slightly sheepish. “What I’m trying to say is that you feel guilty because your family has done awful things. And you’ve done some too, but you are the only one to switch sides to help the Avatar save the world. And I think that means something.”
“I just don’t feel like I have the right to be here,” you say. “My existence has hurt all of you. If I was never born—”
“The world is not going to magically become a better place without you,” Katara interrupts. “You are not the root of the Fire Nation’s evil. You were born into it, you helped it, but you were a victim of it. Now you’re here helping us end it, so it’s a damn good thing you were born.”
You’re stunned into silence. Katara speaks with the determination of someone who has had to fight for every single thing she has. It’s like looking in a mirror where the reflection is a whole lot better than you. Her lips quirk at the corners.
“From now on, your future is what matters. Not your past. Got it?”
You nod. “Got it.”
“Good. Now grab that log and let’s get out of here.”
-
“Spirits, I thought you guys got lost!” Sokka exclaims.
“He’s so dramatic,” Toph complains. “He’s been complaining about how hungry he is since you left.”
“Because I’m starving!” His eyes meet yours when you follow Katara to the center of camp, but you have to avert them as you set down your bundle of firewood. The concern in his expression every time he looks at you lately makes you feel so weak, and you hate it.
You got along just fine back at your father’s camp without anyone worrying about you. You’re already away from everything you’ve ever known, desperately trying to keep the shattering pieces of yourself together—you don’t need anyone acknowledging it. For some reason, it feels a thousand times worse coming from Sokka.
“Stop whining,” Katara says as she drops her own pile of sticks and logs. “Where’s Aang?”
“Meditating,” Toph says. “He’s totally freaking out about next week.”
“I don’t blame him,” she murmurs. “I’m scared too.”
“Does this mean we’re finally gonna talk about the camelephant in the room?” Sokka questions, and his eyes cut over to you once again before he looks at his sister. “We need to tell her.”
“No, we don’t.” Katara crosses her arms. “At least, not until the day of.”
“That’s stupid!” he exclaims. “If she’s with us, she’s with us. She needs to have time to prepare.”
“She’ll have time to prepare with everyone else,” she says.
“She is standing right here,” you say. “What are you guys talking about?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Katara says.
“It does matter,” Sokka retorts. “If we leave tomorrow, we’ll get to the rendezvous point with four days to spare. We need that time to prepare, and she needs to be with us.”
“I agree! She’s going to be part of it, but we’re going to the capital.” Katara’s eyes soften when she looks at you, but she holds fast. “Everyone will recognize you there, not to mention you have a bounty on your head. If you get caught—”
“She won’t,” Sokka insists.
“We don’t know that!” she exclaims. “I agree with you, she’s with us, but this isn’t something we can risk. It’s our once chance.”
“Please tell me you’re not fighting again.”
You look over to see Aang coming up the hill, brows creased in concern. You’ve noticed his eyes always go to Katara first.
“We’re not,” you say before anyone else gets the chance, then you meet Katara’s level gaze. “If you need to keep me in the dark to trust me, then do it.”
Sokka says your name in protest, but you shake your head. “It’s fine, Sokka. This is my chance to prove myself to you all.”
The concern doesn’t leave his eyes, but Katara gives you a thankful nod that you return. They’re already giving you a chance you don’t deserve by letting you stay with them—you have no right to ask for anything more.
You don’t bring up the pit in your chest, though, the one that grows larger every time you think about home. Kezu gave his life to help you escape, and now you’re going right back to face what you started.
You aren’t sure if you’re strong enough to do it. But you’re long past the point of no return.
-
Dinner goes smoother than you expect, mostly because you don’t say a single word. You don’t really want to admit that you’re still this shaken from Hama, especially when everyone else seems to have gotten over the sleepless nights by now. Aang keeps everyone occupied with a story from when he visited the Fire Nation as a child with his friend Kuzon until Toph very loudly proclaims that she’s bored and is turning in for the night.
“I was wondering if we could talk,” Sokka says. “I’ve been—”
“I was actually going to go train,” you interrupt, and you see his body tense a bit. “I didn’t get to do it this morning, and I have to make up for it.”
“...Oh,” he says. A beat passes. “I thought you were weaker at night.”
“That’s why I’ve been trying to do it more,” you say. “Whatever we’re doing in the capital, I need to be prepared for it. I need to be strong enough for it.”
“You’re already pretty strong,” Sokka says.
“Well, I need to be stronger.” You smile, but you know it’s not convincing. “We can talk in the morning, after we’ve both gotten some sleep.”
“You’re not really getting much sleep.”
“And how do you know that?”
“Because I’m not either,” he says plainly. Your eyes soften as he glances away. “I can’t even hold my sword anymore.”
“Sokka,” you say gently, “it’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.” He looks back at you with surprising conviction. “If Katara didn’t stop me, I would’ve killed you.”
“That’s not true,” you insist. “She never would’ve let it get to that point. You wouldn’t have either.”
Sokka scoffs. His eyes flick down to the golden band around your neck almost involuntary, and he turns away with a pained expression.
“Clearly not.”
“Sokka—”
“You don’t have to explain yourself,” he says, then he lets out a sigh before he’s able to look back at you. “Just— just don’t shut me out. You’re part of the group now. You’re with us. You don’t have to hold it all in all the time.”
You stare at Sokka for a few moments, a part of you convinced he’s lying—but as you’re starting to learn, he doesn’t lie to you. It’s a fault, honestly, believing you can be as good as he is, but it makes you feel all fuzzy inside. Different from the fire in your lifeblood, the comfort of a hearth instead of a wildfire’s carelessly destructive blaze. Even though you don’t understand it, you welcome it.
“...Okay,” you finally say. “I’ll try.”
“That’s all I ask,” Sokka says. “And that you don’t train too hard.”
“I’ve made enough promises,” you say wryly. “I’ll see you in the morning, Sokka.” You pause. “Thank you for caring.”
“...That’s what friends are for,” he says. You share a small smile before you set off towards the woods. You turn around when you reach the first tree and see Sokka’s watching you—but he immediately averts his eyes with a cough and hurries back to camp.
It starts in your chest, a warmth that spreads from your calloused fingertips to your toes in well-worn sandals as a cool breeze flows through your hair and skirt. You think you might glow beneath the moonlight.
-
It feels strange training at night, throwing punches and kicks practically blind as you wait for your eyes to adjust. But at least there’s one place where your brain still falls silent, day or night, no matter where you are.
When Kezu went off to sea and Lee left for the Yuyans, your father was all too happy to ship you off to the palace at Fire Lord Azulon’s suggestion. Then you suppose he tired of you having friends a few years later and ordered you by dragon hawk to his army base, where you got pretty used to being your only company, with Azula a constant guiding voice in your head.
You trained incredibly hard for your father’s approval, of course, but training was all you had. Your father never smiled at you, your brothers were gone, you’d been separated from all your friends and they didn’t care enough to write. (The first time you spar a soldier and win, you cry. You haven’t felt alive since you left Azula.)
Fighting used to be the most exhilarating part of your life. Mai, Zuko, Ty Lee, Azula—you fight with them like a well-oiled machine because you sparred constantly. In the palace gardens, the palace halls, across the black beaches of Ember Island and the academy’s grassy courtyard.
On your worst days, you challenged the first jerk to push your buttons to an Agni Kai, but you still kinda pride yourself on your perfect record. It got your classmates to stop messing with you pretty quickly when any boy that got into an argument with you would show up to school the next day in slings or balancing on crutches.
Your father blunted your edges for the sake of his own agenda, and Azula carved you into something sharper for hers. You needed to find an in-between if you were going to make this last.
Your flames are weaker than usual, which you blame on the moon, then immediately feel bad for when you remember she’s Sokka’s… ex? Former flame? It’s less important than Princess Yue’s sacrifice, anyway. She gave her life to save the moon spirit, the greatest act of selflessness you’ve ever heard of. You could never be that good, even if you spent your whole life repenting
Then the hair on the back of your neck stands up. You whirl around right as you hear a tree branch break, flames ready at your palms before you’re even fully turned—and when you are, you see Sokka bathed in orange light, hands up in a show of mock surrender.
“It’s okay,” he says. “It’s just me.”
“Spirits, Sokka!” you shout, exhaling massively as you shake your hands dry. “How many times have I told you not to sneak up on me?”
“I’m sorry!” he exclaims. “I— I just really wanted to ask you something.”
“And you couldn’t wait until morning?”
“Why would I? You’re still awake.”
You stare at him, concerned that he might actually be a little crazy, and Sokka chuckles, lowering his hands a bit as moves closer. “I guess I wanted to spend time with you too. It’s been a while since we’ve gotten to talk like this.”
“It’s been like, three days.” You frown. “You talked to me this morning.”
“When I was defending your honor,” he says. “Which you didn’t like, I guess, seeing as you sided with Katara.”
“I wasn’t siding with her, I acknowledged the truth,” you say. “And I don’t need you to defend my honor, Sokka. I can do it just fine on my own.”
“I get that!” Sokka insists. “I do! I just want you to really know you’re not alone in this. When I said you’re with us, I meant it. You’ve been a part of my plan since the day you washed up on the beach. We… just can’t tell you about it yet.”
“I know,” you say. “And I’m incredibly grateful to be included before I’ve proven myself. I’ll make you all proud.”
“You’ve proven yourself a thousand times over,” he says. “Just be yourself, and you’ll kick ass.”
You actually find a smile pulling at your lips, soft at first then insistent as a laugh tumbles out. “I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
Sokka grins, and the hearth erupts like a volcano inside you when he takes his topknot out. His hair has gotten so long that he has to brush it out of his eyes now, and it makes you feel a little short of breath.
“I guess that means I can ask my question then?”
“I think you’ve earned it.”
He rocks back and forth on his feet for a moment before he blurts out, “Could I watch you train?”
You laugh at first, thinking it’s a joke. But Sokka is wholly genuine, eyes almost gleaming, and that’s wholly perplexing. “Seriously?”
Sokka’s head bobs up and down rapidly. “Yeah! My dad and his friend Bato taught me how to fight when I was young, but Suki showed me how a real warrior fights. She’s incredible. But you fight totally differently than her, and I want to learn as much as I can. I mean, you were trained at the palace, right?”
You grimace involuntarily at her name. You’ve had many sleepless nights since the fight in some random Earth Kingdom forest—since you sentenced an entire league of Kyoshi Warriors to a fate in a Fire Nation jail or worse.
“I don’t blame you for it anymore,” Sokka says, and you blink.
“What?”
“Suki and her warriors.” You avert your gaze, cheeks burning. You swear you’re not usually this obvious. “It’s a fact that you’re going to save her with me, so I’ve already forgiven you for it. In my mind, Suki was saved the second you washed up on that beach.”
“You already said that one.” It comes out as more of a rasp. You don’t understand how he has this much confidence in you.
“Because it’s true.” You turn as he moves closer, but he just crouches by the stream and trails a few fingers in the water. “Why do you train near water?”
“To prevent forest fires,” you say. “Or burning my clothes off. These aren’t fireproof,” you pull at the singed hem of your top, “clearly.”
He chuckles, then gestures at the lake with his head as he sits down. “Join me.”
You tilt your head. “I thought you wanted to watch me train.”
“It’s mostly the spending time with you part,” he says. “C’mon. You can take a break with me, then get right back into it.”
You sigh. “Sokka—”
The wind whistles, faint on the breeze, and then Sokka lurches forward with a shout. Your eyes widen when you see an arrow sticking out of his side. Your head snaps to the treeline and you throw yourself out of the way just in time to avoid chain bolas spinning rapidly through the air.
“What the fuck?” Sokka groans as he presses his hand against the wound, fingers splayed around the arrow.
You’re under attack. It blares in your head so loud your teeth chatter as you sprint over to Sokka and haul him up. You stumble when all his weight falls on you for the first few seconds as he catches his footing, but you make it into the woods just as you hear rumbling footsteps break through to the clearing. Someone, something is after you, and you’re not going to stick around to find out what it is.
“What the fuck?” Sokka repeats, exclaiming your name as you half-drag him through the forest. “Why is there an arrow in me?”
“We’re close to a harbor town,” you say. “I saw it when we flew in. Maybe it's the military—"
“You don’t have to remind me,” he complains, and then he stumbles and nearly sends you both to the ground. The extra seconds it takes getting him back on his feet has your eyes anxiously darting back and forth into the treacherous brush—then a loud voice echoes off the trees.
“You can’t run forever!”
Sokka gives you a desperate look, and you just grab him and keep running. More arrows shoot past you, and you manage to block one with a wrist cuff and incinerate the rest. You shoot a few massive fireballs behind you to topple trees in your path, but it’s reduced to splinters when an explosive goes off and rocks the ground beneath you.
“Come on, Sokka, keep running!”
“I’m sorry! There’s an arrow in me!”
“We’ll deal with that when we’re not being chased by bounty hunters!”
“Oh, so that’s what this is?”
“Shut up!” you groan.
Sokka’s strength is steadily waning as he relies on you for more and more support. You hide it best you can, but you’re getting winded running for your life and dragging him along.
But maybe the spirits are listening, because you run past a cave face so concealed you nearly miss it. You elbow your way through the bushes just in time to hear your pursuers catch you—or where you were, at least. You watch through the gaps in the greenery, just a rock’s throw from whatever deadly group of mercenaries has decided to capture the bounty on your head.
“Why does someone always get hurt when you’re around?” Sokka complains through gritted teeth. He’s pressed against the cave wall, staring at the arrow in his side with contempt.
“Be quiet,” you hiss. He rolls his eyes but listens, and you watch as two men on komodo rhinos break through into the clearing—a man wielding those chain bolas, and a man with a dark red tattoo curving across his amberwood skin. A Yuyan archer on a komodo rhino is strange.
Another three men join the group and your knees feel weak as it dawns on you. One is wearing full armor, another has a spike-studded shoulder plate, but you see a face that you recognize in military scrolls. Colonel Mongke, leader of the Rough Rhinos that worked his way up in the army just so he could moonlight as a mercenary.
“Another failed lead,” he spits. “Where did you find this tracker, Vachir?”
The Yuyan doesn’t give him the satisfaction of a reaction. “She was here. I know it, and so do you.”
“She couldn’t have gone far,” the shoulder-plated one says, jabbing his elbow into the armored man. “We could light this place up in a second, eh?”
“That would do more harm than good.”
“Where’s your buddy, then?” The man’s voice is muffled by his helmet, but he towers over the archer. “He’s the one that led us into these woods. You said he was the best tracker in the four nations.”
“I didn’t say that,” Vachir retorts stiffly. “He is a Yuyan. A Yuyan has standards.”
“Clearly not.”
“I do.”
Another man shoulders through the trees, stowing his bow on his back as he stops in the clearing. “You just don’t trust me.”
You can barely see his face from here—your legs still buckle beneath you at the sound of his voice. Sokka tries to lunge for you again, but he barely saves himself from toppling over. The color is steadily draining from his face. He whisper-yells your name.
“What’s wrong?”
You don’t really hear Sokka, either. Too focused on the braided strands pulled into his topknot that you used to do for him, more visible without his usual headband—unable to look away from the scar cutting across chin that he earned from tripping and knocking his teeth out on a rock when you were kids.
“He’s still a rookie,” Shoulder Plate growls. “We should’ve never taken him on a job this big.”
“I am the best tracker in the four nations,” he says. “You’re all just too impatient.”
Sokka shakes you out of your trance, wide blue eyes pleading with you against his graying skin. Nausea rises in your throat as you place your hands on his wound. His tunic is already damp with blood.
“I’m so sorry,” you breathe. “I need to get you out of here. I need to get you back to Katara—”
“You need to make this make sense,” he interrupts. “Who are those people? Why are they chasing us? Are you okay?”
“Now is not the time—”
“Yes, it is! What is going on?”
Your head is spinning from the sight, and Sokka’s numerous questions don’t help. You screw your eyes shut as you suck in deep breaths, focusing on his hand against your bare shoulder. Eventually, you’re able to speak.
“They’re mercenaries.” Your voice still comes out a bit shaky. “A specialized team in the Army, technically, but they’re still mercenaries. They’re here to collect my bounty."
“Oh.” Sokka’s voice is considerably smaller. “They’re that scary, huh?”
“It’s not them,” you say quietly. “Their tracker…”
“Colonel—”
“I don’t want to hear it,” Mongke snaps. “You’re searching these woods until the sun rises. If you’re as good a tracker as you claim, you should have no problem.”
“He’s gonna come back sobbing and empty-handed,” the bearded man sneers.
“If he is empty-handed, he should not bother coming back,” the colonel corrects. The man isn’t phased.
“That won’t be a problem.”
“Then I’m sure you won’t mind if we make camp here.”
“Not at all.”
You clench your jaw so hard you think your teeth might crack. No. They can’t stay here— they can’t camp here. You stand no chance of getting Sokka out if they stay this close, especially if he makes any sort of noise from the pain.
The men start grabbing their supplies off the backs of the komodo rhinos, and you resist the urge to hit your head against the cave wall. You won’t let Sokka die here, but this just got a whole lot harder.
You glance back out into the night, and you swear you lock eyes with the tracker. You could never forget them—ochre irises almost made more vivid against the maroon ink, eyebrows thinner than they should be courtesy of two firebending siblings.
Then he starts walking towards your cave, and you don’t dare to breathe.
“Lee, make yourself useful,” the colonel demands. “If you lose the trail—”
“I won’t,” he says roughly. “I heard something.”
Every footstep towards the cave makes your heart pound, so loud you swear he can hear it. He reaches the opening and pulls the bushes away—and his hands freeze when he sees you and Sokka.
You haven’t seen your brother since he got his tattoos, and it shows. His strong features have matured and his hair is longer and there’s a determination in his eyes that runs in the family—but it doesn’t matter. He’s still the boy that helped raise you.
Even if he’s helping a group of mercenaries hunt you down.
Lee looks at you like he’s seen a ghost, barely paying a second glance to Sokka. One call back to his crew and it’s over for both of you.
“You’re alive.” His voice is so quiet you have to strain to hear it. “I knew it. I knew Father was lying.”
“Lee—”
“Is there someone there or not?” the colonel shouts, and his body tenses. Lee’s eyes flit away for a moment before they meet yours again, and for a terrible second you’re worried he’s going to turn you in.
“Please,” you whisper, the only word your lips can form. Your brother’s expression turns so pained you can barely stand to look at it.
And then he lets the bushes fall back into place, dropping you and Sokka into darkness again, and you hear his footsteps get farther and farther away.
“False alarm,” Lee says. “Just a bunch of squirrel toads.”
“You really are the best tracker in the world,” one of them says wryly. You don’t hear the rest of the conversation as you finally start breathing again. You collapse against the wall, hands shaking so hard you have to press them against your legs.
“Who was that?” Sokka questions. “Why did he let us go?”
“My brother,” you say faintly. “And I have no idea why.”
He sighs and looks back down at the arrow still embedded in his side. “Every day with you is an adventure.”
-
“I can’t believe your brother shot me.”
“Sokka—”
“I know, I know. I have to be quiet. But I doubt they can hear us anyways.”
“Do you really want to test that?” you challenge. “Besides, I already told you it might not have been him. There’s another Yuyan—”
“Well, one of them shot me, and it still really hurts!”
“You’re lucky it didn’t go right through your skull!”
“You're real great at pep talks.”
You’ve been stuck in this cave with Sokka for what feels like hours, waiting for the mercenaries to fall asleep before you make any sort of move. It’s the most grating sort of anticipation, especially when you’re the only one who can care for his wound.
“I’m not trying to make you feel better, I’m trying to make sure you don’t die.” You’ve torn off half of your skirt creating makeshift bandages to wrap around the arrow, but you’re not much of a healer. You are smart enough to not pull it out, at least. “Most of them are asleep by now. I’ll go back to camp and find Katara—”
“No,” Sokka interrupts. “You’re not going out there alone.”
“You’ve got an arrow in your side, Sokka. You’ll only get more hurt. I can handle myself.” Your eyes flit out to the mercenaries’ camp, where you can see a blazing fire at the center. “As long as you keep your mouth shut and stay out of sight, you’ll be fine.”
“You’re willing to risk that?”
“I’d do a lot worse to save your life,” you say. “But you have to stay here. You don’t stand a chance against any of them.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“You know what I mean,” you say. “Besides, my brother’s out there. He won’t hurt me.”
“I don’t know,” Sokka says. “He is with the mercenary group that’s hunting us.”
“They’re hunting me. If you just went to bed like you should have, you wouldn’t be here.”
He groans. “Can we not fight? We’re already in a shitty situation—”
“We’re not fighting, I’m just right.” You stand up as Sokka rolls his eyes. “Do you feel okay?”
“...I’ll be fine,” he says. “Just don’t do anything stupid. I don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t.”
You smile, but Sokka just looks at you with deep-seeded concern. You slip out into the night before you can doubt yourself.
It’s easy to sneak away from the Rough Rhinos’ camp when they’re asleep, especially since you’ve grown light on your feet after years around the palace and your father. The hard part is navigating through the woods.
Everything looks exactly the same under the cover of darkness, just trees and grass and rocks that you can’t tell apart to save your life—which you guess is kinda the situation. But as you run, the wind blowing through your hair and much shorter skirt, you can only think back to your brother.
The pride of Lee’s entire life is being a Yuyan. It’s all he’s ever worked for, all he’s ever wanted, which is why you don’t understand what he's doing with a bunch of mercenaries.
Does that mean he deserted too? Or did your father put him on your tail, determined to have one child that still respects him? But he seemed so shocked to see you—shocked that you were alive at all. Does your father actually think that you died at sea? If he did, then he’s not the one that put up the wanted posters. But that makes even less sense. Who else has the motivation?
Azula, maybe, but she wouldn’t stop at wanted posters. You think you would already be dead if she was on your trail.
You’re jarred out of your thoughts when someone grabs your arm and hauls you behind a tree. You scream but it’s muffled when a hand is slammed over your mouth—you nearly bite a finger off before you realize it’s your brother, and he drops his hand.
“What are you doing out here?” Lee whisper-yells.
“Going to save my friend.” You tug your arm out of his grip. “What are you doing here?”
“Trying to keep you from getting yourself killed.”
“I mean with these mercenaries? The ones that you’re helping hunt me?”
“No,” he insists. “I— I mean, yes, technically, but it was the only way I could get out of Pohuai!”
“So you left the Yuyans?”
“No!” Lee groans and looks around, making sure you’re alone, before he gestures with his head. “Come on. I’ll get you out of the woods.”
“I’m not just getting out of the woods, I’m going back to our camp so I can get my healer friend.” You frown. “Did you shoot Sokka?”
“I wouldn’t have if I knew he was your friend.”
“Spirits, Lee! How could you?”
“I just said I didn’t know he was your friend!” he defends. “Besides, he’ll be fine. I don’t shoot to kill out here.”
“That’s so reassuring,” you grumble, but you start walking together anyway. Silence quickly descends over you as Lee leads you through the woods like he’s lived here all his life. You’re still processing the fact that your brother is here.
“So,” you finally say, because you might as well ask, “why are you here?”
“Since Ba Sing Se fell, things have been… rough.” Lee looks up at the sky, starlight reflecting off his amber eyes. “Every general, admiral, colonel— every leader was given orders to go full steam ahead. The Fire Nation is so close to winning the war that the Fire Lord is treating it like a guarantee. Shinu’s been sending groups of Yuyans out on secret missions practically every day. Last week, he finally chose me for one.” His stony gaze meets yours. “Imagine how I feel when I get a messenger hawk from Father the day before we leave telling me that both my siblings are dead.”
Your face burns as your gaze drops to the ground, unable to look your brother in the eye. It’s not right that you’re here and Kezu isn’t.
“But on the first day of the mission, I saw a wanted poster with your face on it.” He shakes his head, lips twisting downward. “I didn’t know if Father was lying, or if he just wanted extra insurance, but I broke off to find you on my own. The Rhinos found me on your trail, and I bartered my tracking skills for my life. I never thought I would find you while I was with them— it was just a means to an end.”
“…Wow,” you murmur. “I didn’t think you would ever leave Pohuai.”
He shrugs, overly casual. “I already lost one sibling. I refuse to lose another.”
Red hot guilt claws at you. “I’m so sorry, Lee. If I knew that’s how it would’ve ended, I never would’ve tried to leave in the first place, I swear.”
“...So it’s true,” he says faintly. “You were both leaving the Fire Nation.”
You nod, ashamed. “He gave his life for mine. I’m going to spend the rest of my days trying to be worthy of it.”
Lee falls silent for a while, and you still can’t bring yourself to look at him. First his mother, then his brother. You keep taking the people he loves away from him. Finally, though, he speaks.
“I’m glad I found you.” It’s more of a rasp than anything. “I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like going through all this on your own.”
You frown. “You’re not mad?”
“At Father. Not at you.” He shakes his head with a sigh. “When did everything get so fucked up?”
“I don’t know,” you murmur. “But I’m glad you found me too.”
You finally muster the courage to look at your brother, only to find he’s already smiling at you. Lee wraps his arm around you and pulls you close, and you rest your head on his shoulder with a sigh.
“I’ve missed you so much,” he says softly. “I’m so glad you’re not dead.”
You huff a laugh, unable to bring yourself to say the same words about yourself. Lee graciously doesn’t mention it.
Eventually, you break out of the woods, and you see a bonfire in the distance. Your shoulders sag with relief.
“That’s our camp.”
“Good.” Lee turns to you with a slight furrow in his brows. “What are you doing here, anyways? Who are you with?”
“I’ve… kind of joined the Avatar?”
His eyebrows immediately shoot up. “Are you joking?”
“It’s a long story,” you say. “One for another time. I need to get our healer.”
Lee nods, and you break into a sprint. You burst into Katara’s tent and she immediately shoots up, water at her hands before she’s even fully conscious.
“It’s just me!” you whisper.
“What’s wrong?”
You’re a bit insulted that she initially jumps to a problem, but she is right.
“It’s Sokka,” you say. “We were in the woods and Fire Nation bounty hunters found us and he got shot by an arrow—”
“What?”
“Just come with me!” you plead.
“Let me get Aang and Toph—”
“No,” you interrupt. “No one can know the Avatar is alive, and Toph has a bounty too. It has to be you.”
Katara stares at you for a heated moment before she nods, expression hardening, and she follows you out. You see her tying her hair up as you lead her to the woods, but she stops in her tracks when she sees your brother.
“Who are you?”
“Our way back,” you say. “These woods are dense, and he’s an incredible tracker.”
Her eyes narrow. “He looks like one of those bounty hunters you’re talking about."
“I’m your friend’s brother, actually,” he says, and Katara looks at you like you’re crazy.
“That’s why I didn’t want to tell her right away,” you grumble. “Now come on! Sokka could be bleeding out in that cave.”
“Why do I ever leave the two of you alone?” Katara marvels. She follows you into the wooded abyss anyways.
You’re huffing and puffing from sprinting everywhere by the time you reach the clearing from before, and you all crouch down behind a tree.
“So what’s the plan?” Katara asks. “Assuming you have one, of course.”
“Of course I do,” you say. “Lee’s gonna keep watch and make sure they stay asleep while we get to Sokka.”
“Why do I have to keep watch?”
“Because you’re the one that shot him. And you do an excellent dragon hawk call.”
“You’re the one that shot my brother?”
“Keeping watch actually sounds great.”
If looks could kill, Katara would have you both dead on the ground. Instead, you just stay low and run over to the cave entrance, pushing the bushes away as quietly as possible so Katara can get in first.
“Oh, Sokka,” she whispers as you follow her in, and your entire face falls when you see him slumped against the wall.
His hand is still pressed against his wound, caked in dried blood, but he perks up when he sees the two of you.
“Hey,” he smiles, words slightly slurred, “you actually made it.”
“Like I would let you die in a crappy cave,” Katara says. She kneels down beside him and motions for you to do the same. “It’s a good thing you didn’t take out the arrow. But now we have to.”
Sokka groans. “I'm in a crappy cave because her crappy brother shot me.”
“He’s not crappy!” you exclaim. “But— but he did shoot you, and he’s very sorry.”
“That makes me feel a lot better,” he says wryly.
“Good,” Katara says. “Because this is gonna hurt, and we need to be quiet. Got anything to bite down on?”
Sokka rolls his eyes. “I’ll be fine.”
“Here,” you say, holding out your hand.
“Are you sure? I’ve got a killer grip.”
“My brother shot you, so it’s only fair.”
Sokka stares at you for another second, then takes your hand, fingers intertwining. “Just… do it quick.”
Katara nods, then she rips the arrow out of his side in one swift motion. Sokka’s whole body jolts and he squeezes your hand so hard you think the bones might break, but he manages to stay mostly quiet. She pulls some water out of her container and gets to work, and Sokka’s head falls against the wall as his eyes flit over to you.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be,” you say, only slightly pained. Neither of you let go. “I’m tough.”
“Yeah.” A beat passes as a blue glow fills the room, and Sokka sighs in relief. “I wish you didn’t have to be, though.”
“That’s life.”
“…Yeah,” he repeats.
“We should be good to go.” The room drops back into darkness as Katara bends the water back into her container. “How do you feel, Sokka?”
“Better. Much better. Thanks, Katara.”
“What’s a sister for?” she says wryly. “Now let’s get out of here before those mercenaries wake up. We should probably—”
A shrill whistle breaks through the air, an awful rendition of a dragon hawk’s call, and your heart drops. You’re on your feet and running before you even realize it, breaking out into the night to see Lee standing with his bow fully drawn at the colonel.
“Don’t take another step,” he threatens.
“There’s the woman of the hour!” Mongke exclaims, fully ignoring your brother as his eyes land on you. “Right under our noses the entire time.”
“You chased me halfway across the Fire Nation to collect a bounty,” you say, flexing your fingers. “How much is my father paying you?”
“Nothing, yet.” His eyes flit over to Lee. “But I’m sure he’ll have plenty of gold to provide without any traitorous children left to take care of.”
His arm is shaking now with the effort it takes to keep the bowstring drawn. “So you’ve known all along?”
The colonel shrugs. “I’m not an imbecile. You have a personal stake in finding your sister. That made you that much more likely to put us on the right path.”
“Get down!”
Katara’s voice rings out behind you, and you don’t question her as you drop to the ground. She sends a stream of water at Mongke, strong enough to send him flying into a tree. She clenches her hands into fists and he freezes to the trunk. You turn to her with wide eyes.
“Someone had to shut him up,” she breathes. “Now come on!"
Lee helps you to your feet as she and Sokka start running, and she hits your brother on the shoulder.
“You too, archer boy. You’re not getting off the hook that easily!”
He gives you a concerned look as they disappear into the trees. “Is she serious?”
“You did shoot her brother. She probably wants to get a couple punches in.” You start pulling him along. “We also have no idea where we’re going!”
You make it out of the forest with Lee’s help as a group of four—but you can’t outrun komodo rhinos for much longer. Luckily, Sokka is clearly feeling better, because he’s practically jumping up and down.
“I knew it was a good idea to practice a quick exit!” he exclaims. "This is what I made you do all those reps for! And look— Toph and Aang are already up!”
“Probably because we’ve been gone all night,” Katara says, and she turns to you. “Help me with the tents. Archer boy, you’re our cover while we pack.”
“My name is Lee—”
“I don’t really care,” she says, then she grabs your hand to pull you along to camp as your brother rolls his eyes and draws his bow once more.
“Where have you guys been?” Aang questions, hopping up from the ground with wide eyes. “We’ve been so worried!”
“I wasn’t,” Toph says. “I figured you guys were off doing something stupid.”
“Only slightly,” Sokka says. “But we need to leave, like, right now!”
“I guess it was a good thing we practiced a quick exit,” Aang says thoughtfully.
“That’s what I said!” he exclaims. “Get Appa ready to fly!”
Camp is a blur as you all rush around throwing things together, Toph using her earthbending to shoot everything up to Appa’s back. Lee is holding off the Rough Rhinos with a considerable amount of effort, but he’s being pushed back further and further with each arrow.
“I’m running low!” he yells.
Toph stomps the ground hard and the last of your supplies are sent soaring up to Appa with some help from the earth. Sokka is kicking dirt into your campfire as Katara tosses a bag up to Aang.
“Come on, Lee!” you shout. “We have to go!”
He doesn’t respond, either not hearing you or too caught up in the battle. You grit your teeth and run towards him, summoning the last of your strength to send a huge wave of fire at the mercenaries. You grab Lee’s hand, your palms still smoldering, and drag him along. You won’t lose another brother.
“Now, Toph!”
She sends the two of you flying with some more earthbending, and Lee actually screams—then you land in a heap on Appa’s saddle.
“Appa, yip yip!” Aang cries, and he takes off into the air with a loud groan.
“Holy shit,” you breathe, untangling yourself from your brother. “We did it.”
“You’re damn right we did it!” Sokka exclaims, punching the air with both fists. “I think that was our quickest one yet!”
“Those looked like the same guys that ambushed us at Chin Village,” Aang says.
“Because they were,” Katara says. “They were just after someone else this time.”
“Wait,” Toph says. “Why is there a new person here?”
Everyone suddenly remembers that Lee is here, and he rubs the back of his neck self consciously.
“Everyone,” you say, “this is my brother, Lee. He saved our lives today.”
“Thanks, I guess,” she says. “Even though you didn’t save mine.”
“You look kinda familiar,” Aang says, looking over his shoulder from Appa’s head.
“You’re the Avatar, right?” Lee asks, and he nods. Your brother clears his throat awkwardly. “That’s because I helped capture you under Admiral Zhao’s orders.”
“So you shoot my brother and you captured the Avatar,” Katara says. “Why did we let you come with us again?”
"Katara, come on," Aang says. “It’s water under the bridge. I made an… unexpected friend that day because of it.”
“I’m still sorry,” Lee says.
“I accept your apology, then.”
“I don’t,” Sokka says. “For the record, I’m still mad that you shot me. It really hurt.”
Lee shrugs. “Just be glad it didn’t go through your skull.”
You stifle a laugh and Sokka shakes his head. “Great. Now there’s two of you.”
Katara actually cracks a smile as you continue flying into the night. You all shift and get comfortable, worn ragged but strangely happy as you settle in for a night in the sky. You drift off between people who refuse to give up on you and sleep better than you have in months.
