reblog this if your blog is a safe space on april fools and won’t have any jumpers, screamers, or anything scary or anxiety inducing

#extradirty
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Love Begins
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Keni
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Peter Solarz

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occasionally subtle
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Today's Document
Jules of Nature

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Xuebing Du
noise dept.
Three Goblin Art
styofa doing anything
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@atlasoftheplanet
reblog this if your blog is a safe space on april fools and won’t have any jumpers, screamers, or anything scary or anxiety inducing
calm down Tsukiyama kinnie :/
ew ew ew ew eW EW EW EW WHAT THE FUCK
calm down Tsukiyama kinnie :/
so you know the rule in fairylands where you cant eat or drink anything or you’ll have to stay there forever? does like.. .eating out/sucking dick count
holy f uck jane
its a serious question
well like, the whole thing is that you cannot have consumed anything belonging to the fey realm. so, yes, probably, you would be stuck there. the same would apply if you just straight up ate a fairy.
new question: would deepthroating count in this case even w/o swallowing
no. temporary doesn’t count, otherwise fairies would all be running about sticking their hands in your mouth to get human servants.
you gotta digest it.
so like??? if you puke afterwards?? maybe it doesn’t count?
huh! i wonder how long is enough time for it to be legit. like whatever goes through your stomach immediately condemns you no matter if you throw it up later?
Well Persephone only ate 6 seeds so she only stayed 6 months, so maybe if you spat out most of it you’d just be condemned to the occasional day “BRB got go pay the two day toll for fellating a fairy.”
“you wanna come over for the weekend?”
“oh man im so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now i have to keep coming back to do it again– its a long story”
“you what now”
i can hardly believe this isn’t already the plot of an Oglaf comic
now that u said it im really surprised as well
what the fuck did i just read
Why ISN’T this an Oglaf comic yet?
I’m so happy that i’m not the only person who thinks of questions like these. I love you all so much.
I’m not convinced by this, actually!
Like, this analysis treats it as a substance problem, i.e. “edible matter from fairyland has properties that, if ingested, physically prevent you from being able to return to the real world.”
But OTOH, a recurring theme throughout fairy stories is that they’re all about…rules and exchanges and agreements with really steep interest rates:
“I’ll do you this favor, but if you don’t guess my name you’ll have to give me your first-born child.”
“You’re gonna be real good at everything but when you’re 16 you’re gonna prick your finger and die.”
“You loaned me $2 for the bus when I looked like a beggar, so now here’s a literal pile of gold and shit.”
Not to mention that in Childe Rowland, one of the central “if you eat food from fairyland you’re stuck there” stories, Rowland manages to retrieve his siblings despite them all presumably having chowed down on fairy food – all it took was beating the Fairy King in a swordfight and threatening to chop his head off.
The takeaway, I think, is that the food thing a matter of implicit exchange: if you get your grub on in fairyland, you’re accepting their hospitality and eating food that they own. This means you owe them, which the fairies can magically leverage to prevent you from leaving.
(You can probably get around this by explicitly agreeing to pay for your meal before you sit down to eat. From what I remember, fairies don’t seem capable of pulling a “Haha, we had an agreement but you’re fucked anyways!” maneuver, so if they agree to let you leave they might even be forced to help you leave.)
Which brings us to the matter at hand: if you blow a fairy you’re doing them a favor! They owe you.
And…they’re a fairy, so if you didn’t agree to terms beforehand they might not repay you in a way that’s ultimately helpful or safe, but it certainly doesn’t seem like they’d be able to, like, pat you on the head and be like “Thanks, you’re really good at this buuuuuuut also you’re stuck here forever now.”
Instead, what seems more likely is…I dunno, showing up to your wedding years later and giving you a beautiful white horse that always comes when called, while loudly praising you as truly deserving it for giving them them simply the best oral they’ve had in years.
Or they feel obligated to show up at your house a couple days a year. So, like
“you wanna come over for the weekend?”
“oh man I’m so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now he always comes by over memorial day weekend and helps me out with minor home repairs.”
“you what now”
This is my favorite act of intellectual bugfuckery on this entire website, when I die I want someone to print this out and place it in my grave with me so I can cherish it forever.
Please Reblog is Your Blog is Safe for Non-Binary People.
If my mutuals can’t rb this then we can’t be mutuals
I’m nb 🥺
Simple explanation of the bills that farmers in India are protesting - in TikTok form!
hey non indians are encouraged to reblog this actually since what the indian government hates most is word of their terrible governing spreading outside of india!
Dual Blades
They are both already legends when they meet. Maybe that’s part of what pulls them together, like two magnets. In the end, it was always going to be Philza and Technoblade, the angel of death and his blood god.
Phil meets a man (not quite human) who should still be a boy, with voices in his head, and chaos in his soul, and he took him under his wings, and never let him go. And Techno finds a man (not quite human) with a blade drenched in blood and kindness in his eyes, and he vowed to offer him the world if that’s what he wanted.
They rotate around one another, a dangerous double-sided weapon, as they conquer countries and bring kings to their knees and move on and you can only fight so many battles side by side with another person before you are more than allies. And you can only save one another’s lives so many times before you are more than friends.
By the time the Antarctic Empire is a name that inspires terror, hatred, and awe Phil and Techno are something more indeed.
**********
Phil is the first person Techno tells about the voices.
Phil finds him, late one night, when they both should be asleep, slumped against an icy corridor wall, eyes too wide, staring out into nothing, breath shallow, trembling like a leaf.
Blood for the blood god. Blood for the blood god. Blood for the blood god—-
“Techno? Mate?”
Blood for the blood god. Blood for the blood god. Blood for the blood god—-
Techno’s nails are digging into his arm, breaking skin and drawing blood as he tries to ground himself back into the present, and he can barely hear Phil’s concerned voice over the ringing chorus in his ears. It’s too much and Blood for the blood god. Blood for the blood god. Blood for the blood god—-
Gentle hands slip into his and restrain his clawing fingers, and he clutches them gratefully, tethered by the touch, gripping so tightly he feels certain he must be hurting Phil. But his friend doesn’t flinch.
“Techno,” he says in a voice as soft and quiet as snowfall just outside, “Techno what is it?”
Keep reading
Dual Blades
They are both already legends when they meet. Maybe that’s part of what pulls them together, like two magnets. In the end, it was always going to be Philza and Technoblade, the angel of death and his blood god.
Phil meets a man (not quite human) who should still be a boy, with voices in his head, and chaos in his soul, and he took him under his wings, and never let him go. And Techno finds a man (not quite human) with a blade drenched in blood and kindness in his eyes, and he vowed to offer him the world if that’s what he wanted.
They rotate around one another, a dangerous double-sided weapon, as they conquer countries and bring kings to their knees and move on and you can only fight so many battles side by side with another person before you are more than allies. And you can only save one another’s lives so many times before you are more than friends.
By the time the Antarctic Empire is a name that inspires terror, hatred, and awe Phil and Techno are something more indeed.
**********
Phil is the first person Techno tells about the voices.
Phil finds him, late one night, when they both should be asleep, slumped against an icy corridor wall, eyes too wide, staring out into nothing, breath shallow, trembling like a leaf.
Blood for the blood god. Blood for the blood god. Blood for the blood god—-
“Techno? Mate?”
Blood for the blood god. Blood for the blood god. Blood for the blood god—-
Techno’s nails are digging into his arm, breaking skin and drawing blood as he tries to ground himself back into the present, and he can barely hear Phil’s concerned voice over the ringing chorus in his ears. It’s too much and Blood for the blood god. Blood for the blood god. Blood for the blood god—-
Gentle hands slip into his and restrain his clawing fingers, and he clutches them gratefully, tethered by the touch, gripping so tightly he feels certain he must be hurting Phil. But his friend doesn’t flinch.
“Techno,” he says in a voice as soft and quiet as snowfall just outside, “Techno what is it?”
Keep reading
Philza Fics Masterpost
ok so it’s pretty much impossible to find any good phil-centric fics in the philza tags so decided to compile a bunch of my favorites! feel free to add on please add on i need more philza fics please i’m begging
Dual Blades - focuses on both phil and techno and their friendship, probably one of my favorite things i’ve ever read
starlit dragons - same author as dual blades, phil-centric, i’ve read this like five times and cried every time
Dandelion Seeds - redza my beloved, phil-centric, egg possession arc
a verb in perfect view - credit to the zablr discord for finding this one, post green festival, techno-centric but there’s a bunch of good phil moments
To Move Forward - boreal group, post-doomsday, there’s a chapter from each of their perspectives and the phil chapter is really good
to you I gift the end of things - written by kai an absolute legend, a whole ass series about techno and phil, zablr discord i owe you my life
Father’s Lament - focuses on phil and ghostbur, very sad, tommy’s mentioned in like one paragraph
lead me to death, to belonging - also phil and wilbur, very cool fic where phil’s chat is a murder of crows
Interlude I: “Promises to Keep” - takes place during antarctic empire, techno and phil centric, a lot of fluff to balance out the angst in all these other fics
Colder - dream smp with slight sbi au, mainly just phil grieving over wilbur, another really sad one
No Longer Deathless - less lore heavy than the other fics, phil-centric, takes place in dream smp but doesn’t really have to do with the plot it’s just phil angst
If there was a way to run SUPER MEGA AD BLOCKER on this website I fucking would
“Please oh please open up your computer to a porn virus! If you don’t you’re evil!”
Freeloader Comin’ through!
We didn’t start this war internet users have with ads - We might have moaned about banner ads, but it was only when they started making noises when we might be listening to music or a podcast or whatever, causing two sound sorces at once, that we started trying to block ads universally rather than just a specific type of ad (pop ups).
And since then ads have gotten worse - Actual malware rather than merely breaking one of the fundamental sins of web design - though shalt not autoplay anything with sound. And the more aggressive a website is with ‘please turn off adblock’ the less I trust it to bother to vet ads and advertisers to make sure they’re not installing malware.
Not to mention that the idea that avoiding ads is “freeloading” is hilariously backward. Advertisement is a transaction between the platform and the advertiser, the user has no obligation to provide the views/clicks the platform has promised. Using an adblocker isn’t freeloading in the same way that leaving the room to get a snack during a commercial break isn’t cheating the tv network.
Ok y’all, I work as a web developer and I’m here to tell you that you are 100% right and that it’s shit. SO I’m going to tell you how to get around websites that block you from using their website if you’re using an adblocker.
Every website uses a language called JavaScript; long story short it’s a website language that allows developers to do the crazy shit you see on websites. Now the easiest thing to do is to disable JavaScript to stop them from knowing you have an adblocker:
Oh no! I’m blocked from viewing the website. It would be a terrible shame if I were able to right click and select the “inspect” feature
Click the three dots in the top right and open the “Settings” Menu
And then scrolled down to “Debugger” and checked the “Disable Javascript Option”
And then just refreshed the page
Reblogging to save my life
saving a life
the minecraft aquatic update was three years ago...
WHAT
BOOSTING THE FUCK OUT OF THIS BECAUSE THIS HAS NO RIGHT TO SOUND THIS GOOD BUT YET ITS SUCH A GODLY REMIX
BY @derivakat on twitter btw!!
I MISS TOMMY AND TECHNO’S DSMP DYNAMIC SO MUCH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Reminding you that with a single click you can:
provide a homeless veteran with a meal
provide a free mammogram
give food and care to a shelter animal
feed poor and hungry children
fund alzheimer’s research
fund diabetes research
provide books for children
protect wildlife habitat
It’s completely free.
Eight acts of random kindness in 30 seconds. Yes please
Also, play free games to fund rice purchases through the World Food Programme.
*Dream SMP spoilers, please go watch the Doomsday streams before advancing:)*
Tommy and Tubbo are going to be so, so much more powerful now that L’manburg, the place they’d been fighting for since the beginning, is now gone, blown to smithereens.
They have nothing left. Their country is gone. Their discs are gone. Their allies and friends are scattered across the SMP; some going against them, some loosing all trust in them, and the rest are dead.
Because the most dangerous people, are the ones that have nothing left to loose.
Late-night hand drawings uwu
i’m asexual and tired. reblog if you are also asexual and tired.