For as much of a chessmaster manipulator Ayin can be portrayed as, he seems to consign himself to being a piece on the board as much as any other pawn rather than seeing himself as a player above the game. By that, I mean Ayin being willing to sacrifice himself as much as he's willing to sacrifice others, up to manipulating his own amnesiac self like a fiddle for his goals.
And that's something I can respect him for. Even if I heavily dislike the trauma he caused others, he put his money where his mouth is and made no exception of inflicting himself with trauma. So he has my respect, even bedrugingly, for being willing to see even himself as a human "ingredient".
I mean, I do have to wonder just how much was Ayin being the chess master and how much was Carmen having told him what to do, and him begrudgingly going along with it out of grief and a sense of sunk cost fallacy. He's already done this much. So many people have died to see this happen. If he gives up now, he'll be making their sacrifices worthless.
Right from the start, Ayin wasn't above it all. He was just another researcher recruited by Carmen. Clever enough to join any Wing, yes, but still answering to her.
In fact, the closest to "chessmaster" I can think of is the idea that he'd have been into psychology (he could predict how people would act well enough to write the script), and that as the Manager, he had to be able to manage almost impossible situations, against almost impossible odds, with the Head against him.
I think the thing here is, you don't just need to look at the fact that Ayin "may have caused trauma on others, but also inflicted it up on himself." You need to look at WHY.
He doesn't just see himself as a "human ingredient" because he's willing to use whatever he has at hand, even himself; he's willing to use himself because - as Benjamin/Hokma says, even - he was consumed by grief.
And... the entire game from start to finish is about Ayin being able to look back on the trauma he caused others, face it alongside them, and not just apologise but make things right.
It's outright said that in earlier loops, he would simply break down. He would cry. He would apologise over and over. He'd try to kill himself, because he couldn't stand what he'd done - to the Sephirot, and to the employees.
The point of the loops isn't about "do unto yourself as you have done unto others." Ruina even tells us that "an eye for an eye" (no matter which way around it is) is not helpful to anyone.
The point of the loops is to grow and heal and realise how to be better in spite of the trauma.
Not to mention... so much of the trauma he inflicted on others came from his own failings.
He doesn't know how to communicate with others properly. He doesn't understand social scripts well enough to know when to praise others for doing well. He ignored the cries for help from someone who didn't want to hurt anyone - because he himself didn't want to see anyone hurt either, but couldn't see a way forward without doing so. He lied about what they could accomplish so that someone who was dying could die in peace. He was unable to stand hearing someone die, unable to do anything about it. He was severely depressed, and unable to turn back.
Personally, I see him as an autistic man with several mental illnesses, who Carmen piled all of the responsibilities of finishing her work onto.
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