The Dark Side of the Moon

- 26 -

[atopeverest]

I get how you wanted to change your narrative

That you’re now present and involved in your kids’ lives

Only that they’re not the only kids you have

We’re still here, waiting, although it keeps getting tiresome still

I get how you’re seizing your second chance

Because you’ve done wrong at the first instance

Only that you’re making up for your mistake with different kids

And abandoning our hopes for you to start acting the same with us too

I get how I should feel grateful these kids will never experience what you did to us

How they’ll know you as someone who’s always got their backs

Only that you had casted us away for so long

That it’s hard to believe you may never do the same to them afterwards

I get how selfish I may seem to think about jealousy

To covet their childhood instead of how mine was molded by you

Only that I don’t want you to do the same to them

But for you to do for us what you now do for them

I get how you’re trying to find a new purpose

By writing a new story with your new family in a perfect world

Only that I hope you’re not deluding yourself

Into thinking that this new story can erase your past and, in whole, us

So forgive me if I don’t like seeing you celebrate them

Not because I hate you or them and certainly not because of meaningless envy

Only that I get reminded of how I broke myself into tiny little pieces

Just so I could fit into your mold that I now realize was never meant for me anyway

[atopeverest]

"... the time together they both so longed for and deserved ..."

[atopeverest]

The ink that stained the skin on your chest

Where you only have me to stare at.

It pierced through your clavicles --

A scenery shared with my tastebuds.

Your shoulders were molded with clay from Eden

And your arms sculpted with utmost precision.

Being held with such masterpieces,

I reckon getting lost in a greek museum.

A moment with you is shared with the gods

For as you conquered me, I savored the skies.

There, in your divine presence, I threw my pride

As I dared use the devil's wings for that one kiss.

Isn't it ironic how I get so unholy

Each time I get a glimpse of your sanctity?

And although stolen moments are fleeting,

We are infinite in this sealed space we've built.

[atopeverest]

The thing is, we love.

We choose to stay and give

And forgive

And hope that love will fix

All the flawed angles in a perspective.

But what if love

Which promised to conquer all --

What if love

That looked past the misgivings --

What if our love

That only knows how to give

Unconditionally, relentlessly

Is a construct of our own circumstance --

Is a way to console ourselves?

Do we really like who we love?

Photos from Deadpool 2

[atopeverest]

Classic thieves

Swift shadows that pierce through the night.

Stealing time --

Robbing what's not meant to be ours.

Tinted windows

Hiding us from the world outside.

Don't drop the keys

We are yet to think of an escape plan.

Partners in crime

A deed so wrong but at least we are not alone.

We will then part our loot

In a dark and secret alley known to us only.

We hide best at dusk

As we are reminded of the world's light.

But keep your bonnet --

I only know you with your face covered.

[atopeverest]

Tangled was the red string

But pulling these knots only tighten the loop.

Then my finger started bleeding

And yours went purple from suffocating;

But those scissors laid waste

We can't depart from this twisted fate just yet.

Stars of the same glow, in the same galaxy

But still miles apart to form a constellation.

And all that gravity taking you away from me

I could only watch as you fade into space.

Sooner or later, I might grow tired of this

Then beg for my death - a black hole I would be.

[atopeverest]

I am confused as I am curious

As to whom between us truly resided peace.

Was it with you who slept soundly as your head laid helpless between my arms?

Or was it with me who got the chance to feel your heartbeat and gaze at every inch of your bare face?

[atopeverest]

"I just want a secret life

Where you and I can get bored out of our minds

I just wanna have you in a secret life

'Cause I'm sick of chasing after holy ghosts

Been tryna tell you I want you the most"

[atopeverest]

Hold yourself with that stare --

Else, you'll render me bare.

A spoonful of ecstasy

Mixed with a pinch of misery;

Indulge with the anticipation

While treading with caution.

Busy crowd and people in costumes;

We're frozen figurines across the room.

Your dilated pupils scream my name

But silence was our anthem.

And the moment was clandestine --

Never to be heard of, never seen.

My hands dare not breach the words

We buried with the sins we hoard.

Longing as my skin craves yours

I anchored myself against the spur.

All those secret glances exchanged

Is a familiar line from our broken addage.

[atopeverest]

A dull turn on a weak curve

You guised your strength

And pretended that gravity

Pulled you down weak to me.

A stellar collision;

Without a sound,

I echoed your ignition.

A soft sigh after a careful smile

Your quiet voice grew louder,

As you crept close to my place,

To exchange skins close to embrace.

The tires, they paled;

Inertia jumped to our affair,

The passengers' seats proved to be safe.

Beyond our miniscule constellation

Are masses that look in pity

As ours is but one moment

Against eternal time and space.

Regardless, you'll be the black hole

To whom I'd give my starlit glow.

[atopeverest]

That one small step I took back

When she drew closer to our spot

Was the very step you should've tackled

With her on that dim-lit lamppost.

To have shaped my circle

Into a tilted love triangle

Is to bestow upon me an angle

Holding the weight of this imminent debacle.

But in every doubting pace

You anchor me with a warm embrace

Then confuse my heart as if it is racing

When all it really is was just suffocating.

[atopeverest]

If I write something for you once,

I'd do it over and over again.

Then I'd be sure to obsess for more details about you

So that I could paint you true.

I'd be sure to dwell

Under your enticing spell.

You'll cease to be a good friend

For I'll count all the moments I dare spend

With the laughs we exchange to no end.

So if I'm now writing for you,

And do it over and over again,

Read them when you're alone by yourself

Or you can keep it hidden in your shelves

And pretend I'm just one poet

Lost wandering in your library.

[atopeverest]

Crafting careful plans

And then brewing cyclones.

Discreet footsteps;

Giggling behind shadows.

Fleeting moments

Will leave mark forever;

Then a week to count

As time is but generous.

As your fingers touch mine

And I hear you breathing my vice,

Is it such grave sin

To ask the stars to align?

I burn great flames

But these words must hush.

Skilled thieves can't get caught

When they seek to steal tons.

Runaways for a while,

Only for deep stares to take us back

With a difficult sigh

And a rather forced smile.

Dodging bullets

But loading the gun;

A chance to jest

Is a chance at best.

Picked at random

And yet so sure;

There's no better misfortune

Than playing your fool.

[atopeverest]

Someone who has studied political science will always admire political figures who played with manipulation and power. After all, the study of power is the heart of political science.

This is why political philosophers always wrote about achieving "perfect societies" at the expense of other political aspects. Classic examples are Marx, Machiavelli, and Keynes.

But this shouldn't mean that admiring these figures is equivalent to supporting their moral perspectives. As someone who has studied (or is studying) political science, this should be apparent to you.

I personally admired how GMA and FEM managed to stay in power and stay influential amidst major political issues. Hell, I even admire PRRD's charisma. Even Hitler's and Pol Pot's.

But this doesn't mean that their moral compasses are upright. This doesn't mean that I personally support their involvement in economic plights, human rights violations, campaign mechanisms, and warfare on a moral ground.

Sure, their strategies there are great. But is it worth all the prejudice against the helpless? No.

Especially because politics is not all black and white. One need not deliberately put the people at the expense of political might.

What I'm saying is, as someone who "knows" about political science, you must also know how to distinguish between being a thinker from being a citizen. As a thinker, one is merely in observation. But being a citizen calls for involvement.

Mind you, this is the exact reason why Aristotle and not any of the other thinkers is the Father of Political Science when he did not even pioneer the discipline. It was because his pieces reflected the people as the sovereign and gave meaning to their citizenry.

What we really need to realize here is that the people is one's political might.

[atopeverest]

Empty parking lots in the middle of busy streets;

Planning rendezvous in the quietest time of the week.

Past across that traffic light was a secret that creeps;

And you'd take us anywhere near heaven's keep.

Flower confettis poured as we raced the unpaved road.

Discreet and slow, we can't risk getting exposed.

With your right hand on my waist, our eyes are everywhere;

Hidden in tinted windows, shielding this love affair.

And there we are, riding on borrowed cars

As we really own nothing but stolen hours.

On top of busy schedules and cancelled plans

Are cigarrete breaks and excuses played like a game of chance.

From when stars got sown to the break of dawn,

Two shadows sneak through blankets with sheer anticipation;

Sharing skin and cigarettes, exchanging laughs and moans;

It's a shame that when the sun should rise, we'd turn into stones.

From warm coffee in carafes to cold beers from the store's fridge;

It was yet another day of waiting and filling in cartridges.

The sun's prominence is when we both die out in impatience

While the moonbeam exhumes what we have buried in silence.

[atopeverest]

Yellow fireflies danced with the cold december breeze

Over beer and roasted chicken and salted chips;

Under starlit skies and the gentle white moon;

They gathered here to watch you leave soon.

As the sound of pouring beer drowned with your laughs,

I tirelessly suffocate in that arm-length space that is our gap;

And we know how our friends would incessantly smirk

If they knew how under that table, your feet did flirt.

In our own little planet within that elliptical galaxy

Were inside jokes about that one night that we spent like we were both free;

When we emptied that cheap bottle of wine past midnight on a drive

Like thieves at flight, stealing love without the bribe.

Under my favorite constellations, we tried to bury our sin

And as I pointed you to them, you looked at me like I was the divine scene.

Tomorrow, at sunrise, you'll leave me with the stars

But you'd be with her, whom you promised to love even from afar.

[atopeverest]

Weekend's already over but I still feel his hands on my waist, playing along the ridges of my skin.

It's still vivid in me how he breathed in on my neck and how he kept grabbing my face to lean in on him.

I still recognize the softest voice I've ever heard from him and the most charming eyes I've seen in forever.

The little smiles and almost laughs we shared in between thinking if we ought to be awkward or not.

His shaved face that puts some rough on his plushy cheeks.

He almost felt surreal then -- he does, now.

The want of me that I felt from him as he held me closer.

I have always wanted how someone could treat me that way.

But it didn't have to be him who I know feels like this with someone else.

I tried to erase the moment but I was caught red handed. I was caught not wanting to think of anything or anyone else other than us being in that car -- in the little world we created in just under two hours.

I guess I didn't keep him awake over the phone nor waited for him to come pick me up just to tell him mediocre adventures about my life -- about my age.

I guess I wanted him to look at me -- and he did more than that.

We've only planned to drink some cheap wine and wait for the sun. We never even needed glasses to drink from.

Instead, we made the sun wait for us as we were trying to lengthen the moment where we held each other's hands.

We emptied the bottle after passing it around for a while. And I could tell we both wanted more.

You were all over me and I can't get my head out of that moment. Now I could only wish that you at least don't forget about it.

At least remember that it was me you were with under that dark sky -- that it was me you wanted, at least in that moment.

It was only over a bottle of cheap wine;

It was only over a few kilometers drive from the city;

Why can't it just be over a few years gap in age?