dragon snackie party @atramenting - Tumblr Blog

davinciwannabesblog

Jazz hands

herainsorcia

fox-bright

That is DIABOLICAL museum design, A++, no notes

neckfat

cleaningouttherooms

sex is some naked bullshit and food is some crap they found on the ground but online poker is forever

#aurin

catgirl-kaiju

so this knight came to my wizard's tower one day and asked me to cast a spell that would allow him to take his beloved princess' hand in marriage. pretty typical this kind of wish, and i had just the spell. a combo of "turn person into a royal" and "transform appearance to match romantic ideal", easy. he paid handsomely for it too, so how can i says no?

turns out his princess is a lesbian and nobody knew, so when i cast the spell it made him into a beautiful princess. she asked for a refund right away and begged me (cryin', held me at swordpoint) to turn her back, but i says to her, i says, "The die has already been cast, and your fate is now sealed!" which is my way of sayin' "no refunds".

turns out, bein' a princess weren't so bad for her and she was able to take her sweet and beloved princess' hand in marriage. seems like everything worked out.

but then, surprise of my life, they both show up to my tower and my spell was undone. some dark sorcerer shithead (some kinda sketchy royal adviser who wanted to usurp the throne, a million like 'im) had removed my enchantments and turned our princess back into a knight. but she didn't want to be a man no more and asked me to redo the spell. gladly i changed her back in exchange for fuckin' up this sorcerer shmuck, (could be a threat to my business, you see) gave 'er an enchanted sword an everything. to my shock, the other princess takes the sword and vows to get this guy for me.

now i got all this guy's magic shit and good graces for life with the queens of the land, plus the best advertisement money can't buy. "yes, i am in fact That wizard from the story of the princess knight!" classic.

anyway, all that to say, no i ain't changin' yous back. you'll be mommy's pretty little maid and you'll like it.

kosmogrl

petrichormeraki

The trope where people don't recognize each other because it's been so long since they last interacted and they've both changed so much that they're basically strangers UNTIL one of them does their Signature Thing™ and the other just stops dead because oh. It's YOU. All at once it's so clearly you

petrichormeraki

This flavor of reblog to this post always makes me laugh so hard thank you

helloitsbees

sanitymakesposts

Mods? Take him to the stump of his favorite childhood tree.

sanitymakesposts

Mods, make him busy during a friends planned trip so he misses out on the new inside joke.

sanitymakesposts

Mods… change the smell of his parents house.

evilscientist3

look boss, our quarterly "subjection to the brutalities of the Absurd" budget is almost blown already. can we not just shoot this one twice in the back of the head and call it a day?

robertreich

Your regular reminder that trickle-down economics is a cruel joke designed by the wealthy.

theunicorncomic-blog

randomushroom

HE FOUND TUMBLR??????

robertreich

I’ve been here the whole time.

spinningthehamsterwheel

Dear god, he's not kidding...

baldingfemale

A day without swag is like...wait I have no idea

motherfuckingshakespeare

A HANDY CHART FOR THOSE OF YOU WONDERING WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THESE. NOTE THAT THESE ARE ALL THE INFORMAL AND YOU IS THE FORMAL SO LIKE YOU WOULD ALWAYS ADDRESS YOUR SUPERIOR/ OLDER PERSON/ SOCIAL BETTER WITH YOU BUT WITH YOUR BUDS YOU CAN USE THESE.