Stefan’s confidence boosts whenever he’s drinking human blood at his own accord. He’s much more forward, bold, outgoing, and carefree. This is often,within reason of the situation, the ideal state that draws Stefan into his ripper binges, [but it never lasts at it’s peak, a few days at most].
Whenever trying to hide he’s on the blood, Stefan’s still remotely confident, but struggles with chronic paranoia.
⋆ ♠: P A I N F U L headcanon
In contrast to the yip effects of human blood, there are internal side-effects that are considerably worse than a vampire simply dessicating. When shifting from a consistent diet of human blood into ripper detox, Stefan grows weak, mentally insane, and slowly degenerates into a mindless, rabid savage. When Stefan finally regains consciousness, there’s more pain to fight. From what I read, TVD vampire cells are obviously unable to transfer oxygen. Not having fed on human blood in days after consuming large amounts daily is where Stefan suffers. He’s lacking respiration, and it’s hard to so much as even breathe. He still survives, but faces consequences of excruciating pain.
Stefan prefers being on top, or rather, in control. ( Depending on who it is obviously) This is something that developed from human memories with Katherine. He had no control when they first slept together and she’d fed on him against his will. Being powerless in that situation was no different than a claustrophobic confined to little to no space. Traumatizing. This is a huge factor as to why, again, depending on whom he’s with, things can be pretty aggressive. The urge to be the one in the lead comes and goes, also accounted from triggers, but he doesn’t even recognize it as such. It’s all part of Stefan’s subconscious.
( Note that in the beginning of S4 with the SE scene on the bed, when she vamped out hovered over Stefan, the sight was eerily this exact flashback. Stefan immediately takes control, switching their positions. )
To Stefan, losing Damon is a fate worse than his own death.
⋆ ☮ F R I E N D S H I P headcanon
There’s a vast difference between those Stefan is a friend to, and those he holds significant value as dear friends. For instance, Stefan’s often the one there for others as the fill-in role to what they need:
Caroline needed a mentor, she got it. Did Stefan do that because he’s her friend and would do anything for her? No. He wanted to do right by her because she was a victim of Katherine, but if she had no tie to Elena at all, they might have allowed her to die. Or take Bonnie. When Elena’s life was in trouble, he failed to weigh out the extreme in easily resolving the problem with a solution in which her Mother was turned. Stefan may be a friend to Bonnie at times, but these are perfect examples of people who need him to become the needed product of environment.
That dynamic of friendship greatly contrasts significant friendships for Stefan. ( Personally, I feel the larger portion of Stefan’s true friends were established prior to his meeting Elena. )
⋆ ▼ C H I L D H O O D headcanon
When Stefan was 9, he and Damon both ran away from home for two days. Originally, it was all an act of rebellion from Damon’s end, but Stefan followed anyway. In those short two days, Stefan was exposed to a whole new outlook on the world outside their sheltered, family estate. One of his first free writing pieces was based on their two days wandering throughout Mystic Falls.
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